November 10th, 2014.
For some inexplicable reason, this WORLD PREMIERE for the Hunger Games took up an area less than HALF the size the previous premiere did last year. I have no idea why.
What did that mean? It meant that instead of a cozy second row spot, my wristband #322 got me a spot around Row 5 in a public pen occupied by the kind of people I'd be happy to have as members of opposing districts in any Hunger Games I might be a participant in. The worst kind of people.... or the best kind to swing an axe at, depending on your mood!
Still, here's what I was able to construct out of photos taken across three cameras (!)
The expression on this girls' face now pretty much mirrors what mine was to look like for most of the next few hours. Except she has a front row spot.... and more hair. And is female.
A rare moment of solidarity in the pen diagonally opposite mine.
At this stage in proceedings, the Frenchman in row three hadn't yet started holding up his A3-sized unfolded folio reading "I'm from Paris, sign me" yet, and the two teenage girls with a posterboard so large it required two of them to hold it aloft had only done so in order to run a short drill. Huzzah!
The braziers have been lit, the dude who does the Rap Intros has left, and our first arrival is the film's director Francis Lawrence. No relation to the lead actress Jennifer, I suppose.
Julianne Moore has 4 Oscar nominations and at least one very nice black dress to her name.
The actress behind the yellow dress and lens flare is Jena Malone, and my Pentax starts giving evidence to the fact that it's going to be highly picky and choosy as to what its definition of "centre focus" is.
On the subject of which, I'd like to dedicate this out-of-focus photo of the lovely Elizabeth Banks to the Ricoh company, whose first flagship DSLR (the K3) seems to have somehow figured out a way to have a worse autofocus mechanism than the two-generations-earlier K5 I should have been using at this premiere.
One of the producers of the film... no doubt overjoyed that my Pentax can focus on her better than it can Elizabeth Banks. I'll be honest, my camera and I are not in agreement with my camera's prioritisation at this time.
"You shouldn't have made such a big deal... it's just a Hunger Games sequel, not an Avengers film". Ah, but The Hunger Games Catching Fire was the biggest US Box Office draw of 2013 - bigger even than Iron Man 3.
"Sure I can sign this board, but I can't really do a proper charcoal rendering of the mockingjay symbol. I kind of have a lot scheduled at this event"
According to imdb.com, Jena Malone is best known for "Contact (1997)" which while being a good (though long) film kind of understates her presence in such films as ... uh... Sucker Punch (2011).
Jena Malone was one of the few stars to take photos from the stage. And wear a dress like that, I'd have hypothesised even before the likes of Liam Hemsworth, Josh Hutcherson and Stanley Tucci showed up.
Speaking of which, in contrast to the disarming fashion choices of his onscreen character of Caesar Flickerman, Stanley Tucci elected to wear a regulation suit-and-tie combination to this premiere.
"Just fans.... fans as far as the eyes can see, Edith. What can we do about that?" Turning 90-degrees to the right would be awesome right about now...
"Bob! Bob! The common people are still buying books made of tree pulp and they're waving them at me. What's wrong with them?"
"I'll have them executed immediately, Sir"
Donald Sutherland plays President Snow in the Hunger Games series.
"One of them just called me "Mister Sutherland". Mister? MISTER?? I answer to 'His Excellency' and on highly informal occasions -sometimes- to 'Sir'. What's wrong with these people??"
Liam Hemsworth gets within camera-foussing distance, which is all the invitation the French Guy in front of me needs to start waving his giant "sign me, I'm from Paris" folio like some kind of crazy... guy... from Paris. ....
"The hair curl is rather glorious, isn't it? You'll understand that's why I can't get close to any of you or risk having it be even slightly damaged"
It's not a good photo, I'll grant you, but it's the ONLY time my main camera managed to successfully focus on *anyone* directly in front of our pen. So I'm celebrating that.
Natalie Dormer is probably best known for playing Margaery Tyrell in Game of Thrones, or for the expression of mild disgust she's throwing in my vague direction...
Not so much a half-smile as perhaps a one-nineteenth smile?... the kind of dilution that verges on homeopathic.
"for God's sake, HURRY. I can't have Sam Claflin see me like this!" Good news - Natalie Dormer is on stage next.
"This pose? Alluring, sure. Also partially a back-spasm from a fall I had on set"
Rather randomly (also : amazingly) Julianne Moore stands about fifteen metres away and shows no inclination for coming any closer, which (a) keeps her in range of my lens, (b) gives my autofocus time to get its steampunk hydraulics or whatever into gear (c) means nobody in my immediate area is going into apoplexy at the thought of her signing something, anything, please.. and so on.
Randomly, Jennifer Lawrence appears... and then disappears again to do media interviews. I'd dismiss it as an hallucination, but I appear to have captured photographic proof.
While she's got not one but FOUR Oscar Nominations to her credit, Julianne Moore would probably look at me with Dormer-esque disdain at learning I recall her most fondly for being in Jurassic Park : The Lost World (1997)
Meanwhile, this is my camera's attempt to centre-focus on Elizabeth Banks. And in related news, I'm about to attempt to introduce my camera to a brick wall at relativistic speeds.
My Pentax has achieved focus at pretty much the same time as Elizabeth Banks, who is wearing the tallest dress in the world, turns away from me. I might have sworn a little but I expect the noise was drowned out by people cheering for Liam Hemsworth to love, hug, autograph for, or hold them.
"It's so big it needs lights at the back to let people know you're turning around"
Jennifer Lawrence reappears and the damn frenchman in front of me has already started waving his damn sheet of A3 paper even though there are eight dozen people and AN INTERVIEW ON STAGE between him and her. I don't want to judge a nation of over 66million people by the actions of one guy at a premiere, but ... your arrogant sense of entitlement and disruptive optimism seems right about on par, Frenchy.
"Careful! It weighs 600kilos... I might need a forklift"
My life improves meaningfully as Jennifer Lawrence dances onto the stage. But will she buck the horrific trend of people on stage not turning around to acknowledge the only unacknowledged public pen at this premiere?
"There's one thing I need to do"
"Turn 90 degrees right? I'm getting a lot of psychic activity to that effect"
"No... get out my mobile and take a photo"
It's not the personal connection she and I made at the prior Hunger Games premiere.... or last year's Baftas... but I'll take it.
"Peace out, I'm Batman! Or rather his slightly more emo female equivalent." I'd argue slightly less emo. And better looking.
If you wanted a journal with more Liam Hemworth, Josh Hutcherson and /or Sam Claflin photos, you shouldn't have expected it from me. I'm still devastated I didn't get better Elizabeth Banks shots.
Fortunately when desperate times call for insanely desperate measures, I have a GoPro. Thank you , GoPro.
Only with a GoPro all but tossed up in despertion can I get my camera above "I'm From Paris and I've got insanely bad handwriting that even a cursory graphology degree would suggest I'm to be avoided" Man.
Peeta Mellark is briefly Not Obscured in front of me for me to take a side-on shot.
Photo of Jeffrey Wright dedicated to the fine folk at Ricoh/Pentax, who chose to put 27 cross-type sensors into their autofocus long before figuring out whether the one in the middle worked
"I could pause and turn left now and let you correct your badly taken shot above... but I won't". Jeffrey Wright plays Beetee in the film... and I'll give him a pass because those are my initials. True story.
Because half of the two male actors the teenage girls in front of me lust over is on stage right now...... I have no way of photographing Josh Hutcherson and am forced to photograph the camera screen of a camera trained onto the stage. Bad news for fans of Sam Claflin, his name is on the other side of the two-sided home-made poster so my odds of photographing him aren't great either.
This is pretty much the only shot I managed of Josh Hutcherson on stage. Don't (entirely) blame me -- blame the two teenage girls with their insanely huge declaration of love for the guy that obscured him from my view.
So... I'm back to photographing Natalie Dormer. And I'm not going to lie... it's where I'd rather be pointing my camera anyway.
OMG it's Sam Claflin and the girls blocking my view missed the moment and I'VE made a connection, my first since J-Lawz a bit further above. I'm flattered at S-Clafs attention, but I've made my decision and I stand by it (Pending the return of Elizabeth Banks)
Is suitably mortified. Either that or the two teen girls have the wrong name facing outwards on their "We Love Josh Hutcherson / We Love Sam Claflin" poster.
Would really love a crossbow, or axe, or helicopter gunship right now. I can sympathise.
"This is no place for a phone recharger, no matter how urgent"
I think right now... I look like she feels.... and on that note I think it's time to muster up as much disgust at how this premiere went down, as I can and storm out of here dramatically.
So in other words...
I much preferred last year's Hunger Games Catching Fire Premiere.
So... to summarise.... I've had better premieres. I've also had better trips to the dentist (if nothing else I didn't have to queue as long to experience crushing pain and disappointment).
Still... it's another entry for the "Archive of Movie Premieres" .... right next to its predecessors:
The Hunger Games premiere
and
The Hunger Games Catching Fire premiere
Until next time!
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