22nd Sep - The 'What We Did On Our Holiday' premiere

September 22nd, 2014.

I've had a bit of a holiday, during which I missed only one or two premieres and events, but returned just in time for a world premiere!

Here's how it went down.

It's a smallish premiere at a smallish location - and yet quite apropos it came on the heels of my own holiday, in which I did pretty much none of the things featured in the movie (spoiler in advance : I actually got a ticket to see the movie AT the premiere!)

It's a smallish premiere at a smallish location - and yet quite apropos it came on the heels of my own holiday, in which I did pretty much none of the things featured in the movie (spoiler in advance : I actually got a ticket to see the movie AT the premiere!)

A blast from the way, way, (I thought WAY) past - the former Yellow Cap Guy, now just... 'guy', was at this premiere. He was a massive part of the landscape when I first started doing these things. Others have taken up his mantle, but never with,... you know... a Yellow Cap.

A blast from the way, way, (I thought WAY) past - the former Yellow Cap Guy, now just... 'guy', was at this premiere. He was a massive part of the landscape when I first started doing these things. Others have taken up his mantle, but never with,... you know... a Yellow Cap.

She be a fine carpet, steady and red-dy and true. But my eye might be focussed about fifteen metres behind the carpet.

She be a fine carpet, steady and red-dy and true. But my eye might be focussed about fifteen metres behind the carpet.

"That's not a spec script, that's a transcription of one of my standup routines... and it's not even that good, damnit". Billy Connolly is our first arrival, and he is wearing a brown jacket with green-rimmed circular glasses. That said, the photo still looks better in black'n'white.

"That's not a spec script, that's a transcription of one of my standup routines... and it's not even that good, damnit". Billy Connolly is our first arrival, and he is wearing a brown jacket with green-rimmed circular glasses. That said, the photo still looks better in black'n'white.

Andy Hamilton and Guy Jenkin co-directed the film, however incredibly neither wireimage nor IMDB has pictures of either so I don't know which one's which. Sadly, I am not an image gallery or media conglomerate - however I am an analyst and statistically I've got a 100% chance of being half right if I declare BOTH of them to be Guy Jenkins. So... here's two Guy Jenkinses.

Andy Hamilton and Guy Jenkin co-directed the film, however incredibly neither wireimage nor IMDB has pictures of either so I don't know which one's which. Sadly, I am not an image gallery or media conglomerate - however I am an analyst and statistically I've got a 100% chance of being half right if I declare BOTH of them to be Guy Jenkins. So... here's two Guy Jenkinses.

Leads Rosamund Pike and David Tennant arrive, and are herded to the paparazzi to their left (my right). Rosamund Pike's dress seems to be made of a woven carbon-fibre (or perhaps lace) and David Tennant is wearing a kilt. Sadly, I missed London Fashion Week this year - I'm kind of feeling the loss.

Leads Rosamund Pike and David Tennant arrive, and are herded to the paparazzi to their left (my right). Rosamund Pike's dress seems to be made of a woven carbon-fibre (or perhaps lace) and David Tennant is wearing a kilt. Sadly, I missed London Fashion Week this year - I'm kind of feeling the loss.

Sadly, I now have only one of the two directors in frame, so I'm guaranteed only a fifty percent chance of accuracy if I guess wrongly as to whether this is Guy Jenkin or Andy Hamilton. My search engine of choice is throwing up photos of women, kids, and in one case a nightmarish looking life-scale puppet. That, and (obviously) photos of the two directors standing next to each other. 2014, huh? Internet's still not perfect where I'm sitting

Sadly, I now have only one of the two directors in frame, so I'm guaranteed only a fifty percent chance of accuracy if I guess wrongly as to whether this is Guy Jenkin or Andy Hamilton. My search engine of choice is throwing up photos of women, kids, and in one case a nightmarish looking life-scale puppet. That, and (obviously) photos of the two directors standing next to each other. 2014, huh? Internet's still not perfect where I'm sitting

Meanwhile, David Tennant and Kilt; and Rosamund Pike and Frilly Top are done with their photographic duties and will now commence doing interviews and perhaps some autograph signings and selfies with fans later.

Meanwhile, David Tennant and Kilt; and Rosamund Pike and Frilly Top are done with their photographic duties and will now commence doing interviews and perhaps some autograph signings and selfies with fans later.

Rosamunde Pike is probably best known for her role as a fencer in James Bond 'Die Another Day' but imdb rightfully gives primacy to her role in the Tom Cruise film 'Jack Reacher' where her acting was actually pretty good.

Rosamunde Pike is probably best known for her role as a fencer in James Bond 'Die Another Day' but imdb rightfully gives primacy to her role in the Tom Cruise film 'Jack Reacher' where her acting was actually pretty good.

Silvery Haired White Dude With Friendly Smile will no doubt be devastated that I'm not photographing him but the more attractive lead actress behind him. Doesn't mean I'm not flattered, mind you. And I'm noting the open suit / slightly off-white shirt / no-tie look with great interest.

Silvery Haired White Dude With Friendly Smile will no doubt be devastated that I'm not photographing him but the more attractive lead actress behind him. Doesn't mean I'm not flattered, mind you. And I'm noting the open suit / slightly off-white shirt / no-tie look with great interest.

"They're photographing the back of my head again. Why do they do that?" Ben Miller's suit and tie are exquisite - and the lapels on his jacket... amazing. He's actually better known for being an actor, if you can believe it.

"They're photographing the back of my head again. Why do they do that?" Ben Miller's suit and tie are exquisite - and the lapels on his jacket... amazing. He's actually better known for being an actor, if you can believe it.

Bobby Smalldridge and Emilia Jones (and the much shorter girl who's apparently so new to acting that she's not on imdb yet?) are the three kids in the film. They were actually really good - playing irritating and constantly distracted brats in a way that the movie exploited really effectively.

Bobby Smalldridge and Emilia Jones (and the much shorter girl who's apparently so new to acting that she's not on imdb yet?) are the three kids in the film. They were actually really good - playing irritating and constantly distracted brats in a way that the movie exploited really effectively.

"I could have sworn when we were filming you were all about this tall. How old did you say you were??"

"I could have sworn when we were filming you were all about this tall. How old did you say you were??"

Man with Cornetto and Sennheiser headphones takes awesome photograph of his ice-cream, with David Tennant only *coincidentally* being in the background behind him. Well played, sir - security take a dim view of patrons in any way approaching or stopping to gawk at stars on red carpets.

Man with Cornetto and Sennheiser headphones takes awesome photograph of his ice-cream, with David Tennant only *coincidentally* being in the background behind him. Well played, sir - security take a dim view of patrons in any way approaching or stopping to gawk at stars on red carpets.

"That pen has a really sharp nib, but I'd still rather have a nice autograph rather than a quick scribble". Some girl is about to find out whether actress Amelia Bullmore has ever had a background in tattoo artistry. (Scrolling down Amelia Bullmore's filmography, I seriously count FIFTEEN recurring TV series roles before I finally got to one I'd actually heard of (and that ended in 1995!)).

"That pen has a really sharp nib, but I'd still rather have a nice autograph rather than a quick scribble". Some girl is about to find out whether actress Amelia Bullmore has ever had a background in tattoo artistry. (Scrolling down Amelia Bullmore's filmography, I seriously count FIFTEEN recurring TV series roles before I finally got to one I'd actually heard of (and that ended in 1995!)).

"I actually ALWAYS have the feeling Billy Connolly's watching me, so no this larger-than-life-sized portrait behind me isn't particularly bothering me right now". David Tennant is best known for being the 10th incarnation of Doctor Who, something that the predominantly female fans in my area were certainly not unaware of. There were tears, shaking and hugging... and they weren't coming from (or being given to ) me.

"I actually ALWAYS have the feeling Billy Connolly's watching me, so no this larger-than-life-sized portrait behind me isn't particularly bothering me right now". David Tennant is best known for being the 10th incarnation of Doctor Who, something that the predominantly female fans in my area were certainly not unaware of. There were tears, shaking and hugging... and they weren't coming from (or being given to ) me.

"What do you mean they've had not one but TWO Doctors since me? They swore they'd call me... what the hell... are you sure??" This is no way to find out...

"What do you mean they've had not one but TWO Doctors since me? They swore they'd call me... what the hell... are you sure??" This is no way to find out...

"You! You there! You're amazing, you know that? And no... I'm not going to sign or hug or pose for a photo with you - I just gave you my personal endorsement, and there's no higher honour I can bestow upon you. That is all". Disappointment or triumph? Hard to say.

"You! You there! You're amazing, you know that? And no... I'm not going to sign or hug or pose for a photo with you - I just gave you my personal endorsement, and there's no higher honour I can bestow upon you. That is all". Disappointment or triumph? Hard to say.

#OMG!OMG!OMG! #LOL #Squee #Smile <emoji> <emoji> <emoji> <emoji>

#OMG!OMG!OMG! #LOL #Squee #Smile <emoji> <emoji> <emoji> <emoji>

Thankfully, the crying, screaming and shaking of the girls around me allows me to reorient myself sufficiently to photograph Rosamund Pike, who in my personal view is even more attractive than David Tennant, manly beard and kilt-with-long-socks notwithstanding.

Thankfully, the crying, screaming and shaking of the girls around me allows me to reorient myself sufficiently to photograph Rosamund Pike, who in my personal view is even more attractive than David Tennant, manly beard and kilt-with-long-socks notwithstanding.

"No, I really DON'T want you to smile. It's your frosty, untouchable, unapproachable aura that I find most attractive". And Rosamund Pike clearly appreciates your honestly in revealing that, and doesn't find it at all creepy or strange.

"No, I really DON'T want you to smile. It's your frosty, untouchable, unapproachable aura that I find most attractive". And Rosamund Pike clearly appreciates your honestly in revealing that, and doesn't find it at all creepy or strange.

"How was that??" "Chilling and frosty, unlike the friendly smile you're giving right now!"

"How was that??"
"Chilling and frosty, unlike the friendly smile you're giving right now!"

"Favourite biscuit? Digestive. Favourite Crisp Flavour? Cajun Squirrel, 2010. Favourite cider? Rekorderlig Passionfruit. Favourite member of The Avengers? Hawkeye. Favourite Mozart Symphony? Fourth. Favourite tea? Darjeeling and orange. Are you going to ask me any questions about the movie I'm here to promote? I'm guessing no"

"Favourite biscuit? Digestive. Favourite Crisp Flavour? Cajun Squirrel, 2010. Favourite cider? Rekorderlig Passionfruit. Favourite member of The Avengers? Hawkeye. Favourite Mozart Symphony? Fourth. Favourite tea? Darjeeling and orange. Are you going to ask me any questions about the movie I'm here to promote? I'm guessing no"

"Do I owe that man over there five dollars? I'm honestly not sure".

"Do I owe that man over there five dollars? I'm honestly not sure".

"Contains no vodka. That's unacceptable, Janet"

"Contains no vodka. That's unacceptable, Janet"

"Sure, Matt Smith's hair is amazing, and I can understand why HE got the job. But Capaldi? CAPALDI??"

"Sure, Matt Smith's hair is amazing, and I can understand why HE got the job. But Capaldi? CAPALDI??"

"What's David Tennant's Favourite biscuit? What's David Tennant's Favourite Crisp Flavour? What's David Tennant's Favourite cider? What's David Tennant's Favourite member of The Avengers? What's David Tennant's Favourite Mozart Symphony?"

"What's David Tennant's Favourite biscuit? What's David Tennant's Favourite Crisp Flavour? What's David Tennant's Favourite cider? What's David Tennant's Favourite member of The Avengers? What's David Tennant's Favourite Mozart Symphony?"

And then, yes, rather fantastically I got a free ticket to see the film and I really enjoyed it! (And obviously I packed all cameras away once the cast had gone off stage - for anyone thinking of doing something really stupid like trying to record the film they had MULTIPLE security scanning the crowd with nightvision thingies MULTIPLE times throughout the screening. Don't do it, kids. Pay for your movies (or get free tickets to screenings.. whichever)

And then, yes, rather fantastically I got a free ticket to see the film and I really enjoyed it! (And obviously I packed all cameras away once the cast had gone off stage - for anyone thinking of doing something really stupid like trying to record the film they had MULTIPLE security scanning the crowd with nightvision thingies MULTIPLE times throughout the screening. Don't do it, kids. Pay for your movies (or get free tickets to screenings.. whichever)

"Enjoy the movie, enjoy the free crisps, and be advised we're letting security figure out how violently THEY want to respond to anyone who doesn't put their phone, camera, or ... I don't know... sketchpad... away once the movie gets going. Cheers!"

"Enjoy the movie, enjoy the free crisps, and be advised we're letting security figure out how violently THEY want to respond to anyone who doesn't put their phone, camera, or ... I don't know... sketchpad... away once the movie gets going. Cheers!"

So.. that's rather great. I have to thank the Security Lady who was handing out free tickets to a whole bunch of young girls and, oddly, must have presumed I was with them (?) - and also Lions Gate for the free seat, packet of crisps and bottled water (and the movie, which I am not actually obligated to say was very good... but was in fact very good!).

And of course it constitutes a new entry for "The Archive of Movie Premieres" where all my premiere journals are housed

Until next time!

ps. if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or facebook at premieresdotco.