7 Aug - Two Days, One Night premiere

August 7th, 2014.

Originally, I thought I'd have to choose between this event and the Dr Who Season 8 launch across the other side of Waterloo Bridge in London, and choosing between French Culture and Popular Culture seemed like a tough call. However the scheduling ultimately allowed me to do both. I did choose French Culture, though.

Here's how it went down.

Not a lot of premieres take place in Somerset House, which is a pity it's a very nice location. That said, even when premieres DO take place at Somerset House, they don't take place here, but rather outside on the other side of the building.

Not a lot of premieres take place in Somerset House, which is a pity it's a very nice location. That said, even when premieres DO take place at Somerset House, they don't take place here, but rather outside on the other side of the building.

The other side of Southbank (ie. North bank? Is there such a thing?)  (The upper level side of Somerset House that's not facing The Strand is what I'm trying to get at) is quite classy, somewhat trickily accessible. (As well as describe the location of, clearly). It also has a bar on one side, which will allow you to either recover from finding it or assist in articulating where you are if you need to. What it doesn't have, however, is the ability to host a crowd like Leicester Square, which is a bit of a shame because crowds often make a premiere what it is.

The other side of Southbank (ie. North bank? Is there such a thing?)  (The upper level side of Somerset House that's not facing The Strand is what I'm trying to get at) is quite classy, somewhat trickily accessible. (As well as describe the location of, clearly). It also has a bar on one side, which will allow you to either recover from finding it or assist in articulating where you are if you need to. What it doesn't have, however, is the ability to host a crowd like Leicester Square, which is a bit of a shame because crowds often make a premiere what it is.

There are barriers and no less than two posters (and a dude wearing a singlet that reads "Addict", which you don't get at every premiere. What you also don't get is the organisers realising that there's no room for ANY fans, and telling everyone without a press pass to basically shove off and go elsewhere. Sadly, my NSW Drivers License does not look enough like a press pass, apparently.

There are barriers and no less than two posters (and a dude wearing a singlet that reads "Addict", which you don't get at every premiere. What you also don't get is the organisers realising that there's no room for ANY fans, and telling everyone without a press pass to basically shove off and go elsewhere. Sadly, my NSW Drivers License does not look enough like a press pass, apparently.

In the end, the organisers allowed for fans to crowd along a double-file row along the columns to the back and left (out of view). What this meant was that the queue was two wide and about six deep, and blocked by security. I've seen worse organisation, but it usually involved either a riot or a plot device by an incompetent screenwriter.

In the end, the organisers allowed for fans to crowd along a double-file row along the columns to the back and left (out of view). What this meant was that the queue was two wide and about six deep, and blocked by security. I've seen worse organisation, but it usually involved either a riot or a plot device by an incompetent screenwriter.

This is my view of proceedings from the second row of a two-wide column of fans squeezed against railing and a bar serving cocktails. I'd have opted to go to the bar, but the denizens of that establishment were already crowding around, luxuriating in not just alcohol but a superior view of the event. Oh, and that List of people you see? That's a sham - only three people showed up (albeit the prettiest one)

This is my view of proceedings from the second row of a two-wide column of fans squeezed against railing and a bar serving cocktails. I'd have opted to go to the bar, but the denizens of that establishment were already crowding around, luxuriating in not just alcohol but a superior view of the event. Oh, and that List of people you see? That's a sham - only three people showed up (albeit the prettiest one)

My view's best option was hoping that stars would turn left at the top of the stairs I had a side-on view of, but that didn't happen. Still... here's our attendees : Academy-Award Winning actress Marion Cotillard and the movie's directors, brothers, Jean-Pierre Dardenne and Luc Dardenne. Those names sound pretty foreign, so I'm guessing this is an action film from Korea.

My view's best option was hoping that stars would turn left at the top of the stairs I had a side-on view of, but that didn't happen. Still... here's our attendees : Academy-Award Winning actress Marion Cotillard and the movie's directors, brothers, Jean-Pierre Dardenne and Luc Dardenne. Those names sound pretty foreign, so I'm guessing this is an action film from Korea.

Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne's "Le gamin au velo" won the Grand Jury Prize at Cannes in 2012 and their film L'Enfant won the Palme D'or in 2005. Marion Cotillard won an Oscar for best Actress in 2008 for La Vie En Rose. I, meanwhile, won an achievement award in High School for having no sick days for a full year. True story.

Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne's "Le gamin au velo" won the Grand Jury Prize at Cannes in 2012 and their film L'Enfant won the Palme D'or in 2005. Marion Cotillard won an Oscar for best Actress in 2008 for La Vie En Rose. I, meanwhile, won an achievement award in High School for having no sick days for a full year. True story.

"You really think my shoulder patches complement my hair? Why thank you!". The brothers Dardenne have gone indoors, possibly to check out some of the exhibits on display at Somerset House, while Marion Cotillard flies solo on the red carpet, doing interviews. Her dress is black. That's all for now. (I hope she turns around eventually otherwise this is going to be a pretty sub-par journal even by my standards)

"You really think my shoulder patches complement my hair? Why thank you!". The brothers Dardenne have gone indoors, possibly to check out some of the exhibits on display at Somerset House, while Marion Cotillard flies solo on the red carpet, doing interviews. Her dress is black. That's all for now. (I hope she turns around eventually otherwise this is going to be a pretty sub-par journal even by my standards)

"I heard she slept with Bruce Wayne... what a slut!" It's true... Marion Cotillard's character slept with Christian Bale's character in The Dark Knight Rises. And then stabbed him. It was quite the scandal at the time.

"I heard she slept with Bruce Wayne... what a slut!" It's true... Marion Cotillard's character slept with Christian Bale's character in The Dark Knight Rises. And then stabbed him. It was quite the scandal at the time.

Nokia's latest appears to take the idea of phone-with-camera in a new, opposite direction, making it a camera-that's-also-a-phone. Sending texts and playing Angry Birds is really, really hard though.

Nokia's latest appears to take the idea of phone-with-camera in a new, opposite direction, making it a camera-that's-also-a-phone. Sending texts and playing Angry Birds is really, really hard though.

Hurrah! Thanks to a couple of reporters on our side (and despite the guy behind me wearing an unusually tall cap), Marion Cotillard will be facing in my direction for at least a little while. I'm even going to be honest - it's not just about the photographs, she's actually really pretty too. I have almost zero objection to having a pretty and talented and articulate woman in front of me. Even if (though not ideally) there are two other guys and a barrier between us.

Hurrah! Thanks to a couple of reporters on our side (and despite the guy behind me wearing an unusually tall cap), Marion Cotillard will be facing in my direction for at least a little while. I'm even going to be honest - it's not just about the photographs, she's actually really pretty too. I have almost zero objection to having a pretty and talented and articulate woman in front of me. Even if (though not ideally) there are two other guys and a barrier between us.

"I still don't get why you spent years waiting and billions in investments to turn Bruce Wayne's clean reactor into a nuclear bomb, rather than spending the money... you know... building or buying and importing your own nuclear bomb". Wow. This reporter is asking the really hard questions.

"I still don't get why you spent years waiting and billions in investments to turn Bruce Wayne's clean reactor into a nuclear bomb, rather than spending the money... you know... building or buying and importing your own nuclear bomb". Wow. This reporter is asking the really hard questions.

"Ah, but you forget. I was also in Inception... so how do you know the whole of The Dark Knight Rises was on MY dream level"?. Wow. That totally explains why TDKR didn't have to make any sense. Great score by Hans Zimmer, though.

"Ah, but you forget. I was also in Inception... so how do you know the whole of The Dark Knight Rises was on MY dream level"?. Wow. That totally explains why TDKR didn't have to make any sense. Great score by Hans Zimmer, though.

"How do you get your hair looking like that? I've tried everything. Is it the green nail polish?"

"How do you get your hair looking like that? I've tried everything. Is it the green nail polish?"

Starts regretting her cameos in those Luc Besson "Taxi" films everytime somebody mentions them.

Starts regretting her cameos in those Luc Besson "Taxi" films everytime somebody mentions them.

This photo looks amazing large... and edited without the deliberately blown highlights. Just sayin...

This photo looks amazing large... and edited without the deliberately blown highlights. Just sayin...

And then, thanks to the noisy autograph dealers in our two-wide, ten-deep spot, Ms Cotillard decided that yes, she would sign autographs. She is, as was said by both Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman (of her character) in The Dark Knight Rises, "quite lovely". (Although she ended up being the main villain.... weirdly complex)

And then, thanks to the noisy autograph dealers in our two-wide, ten-deep spot, Ms Cotillard decided that yes, she would sign autographs. She is, as was said by both Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman (of her character) in The Dark Knight Rises, "quite lovely". (Although she ended up being the main villain.... weirdly complex)

But to summarise, if summarising be necessary : Marion Cotillard is very pretty, very friendly, and very talented. And I? ... am only occasionally friendly.

But to summarise, if summarising be necessary : Marion Cotillard is very pretty, very friendly, and very talented. And I? ... am only occasionally friendly.

And I am also? Heading across the river and seeing what that Doctor Who Season 8 Launch Event is all about and whether it's already finished.

Until next time (half an hour from now!)