5 Aug - The Inbetweeners 2 premiere

August 5th, 2014.

So the thing about me is that while I am aware of today's youth, with their rap music, MTV and backwards baseball-cap wearing... a lot of what they find vital eludes me, either in concept or... in this case... entirely. I am literally unaware of these Inebetweeners - I never watched the TV series, I didn't watch the prior movie (or go to the premiere), I know none of the actors or directors.... I barely watch TV. I don't want to wear my ignorance like a cape of justice...

.... I'd much rather put it on display. Inbetweeners 2, you say? Bring it on.

Here's how it appeared to me to go down.

If yesterday's premiere for The Expendables III was demographically skewed Male and Older, today's was certainly female and younger. So I'm guessing this is the equivalent of a live-action cartoon for very young children? I should feel out of place, but I've been to Twilight premieres, and those were even stranger.

If yesterday's premiere for The Expendables III was demographically skewed Male and Older, today's was certainly female and younger. So I'm guessing this is the equivalent of a live-action cartoon for very young children? I should feel out of place, but I've been to Twilight premieres, and those were even stranger.

"I don't care if the average attendee at this premiere is 14 years old and female whereas yesterday's was 29 and male... I know and you know which one of those to is inherently more dangerous. Set phasers to Painfully  Wound". I still say they're not playing things safe enough.

"I don't care if the average attendee at this premiere is 14 years old and female whereas yesterday's was 29 and male... I know and you know which one of those to is inherently more dangerous. Set phasers to Painfully  Wound". I still say they're not playing things safe enough.

Is far too cool for This kind of premiere. Probably attended The Pudsey Movie a couple of weeks back ("That Doggie is so Cute!!!"

Is far too cool for This kind of premiere. Probably attended The Pudsey Movie a couple of weeks back ("That Doggie is so Cute!!!"

It's signs like these that make me wonder what exactly I've gotten myself into. I mean.. is this legitimate foul language or merely standard bad grammar from today's under-educated 'yoof'?

It's signs like these that make me wonder what exactly I've gotten myself into. I mean.. is this legitimate foul language or merely standard bad grammar from today's under-educated 'yoof'?

The list for this premiere runs to five pages and I haven't heard of ANYONE. I haven't been in this position since the Oliviers... I think in amongst my life of movies, photography, analytics and loathing, an unknown quanta of popular culture has passed me by. Do kids still listen to rap music these days?? Are Take That still ruling the nation's airwaves? Is The West Wing still on?

The list for this premiere runs to five pages and I haven't heard of ANYONE. I haven't been in this position since the Oliviers... I think in amongst my life of movies, photography, analytics and loathing, an unknown quanta of popular culture has passed me by. Do kids still listen to rap music these days?? Are Take That still ruling the nation's airwaves? Is The West Wing still on?

So while I wait and feel sadly inadequate about my presence in a pen with a whole bunch of teenagers, here's an attempt at an Art Shot.

So while I wait and feel sadly inadequate about my presence in a pen with a whole bunch of teenagers, here's an attempt at an Art Shot.

They've Arrived!! I don't actually know WHO they are, of course, but I can draw a connection between four guys on a film poster and four guys getting out of a van. I'm not entirely unobservant, merely oblivious.

They've Arrived!! I don't actually know WHO they are, of course, but I can draw a connection between four guys on a film poster and four guys getting out of a van. I'm not entirely unobservant, merely oblivious.

Excellently, the four arrange themselves in front of the VIP Paparazzi cordon in front of a duly designated Fast Food Restaurant Product Placement as the crowd screams their approval, calls for their autographs, and feel faint or dizzy or get the vapours or whatever teen girls do when they get in proximity to famous teenage guys.

Excellently, the four arrange themselves in front of the VIP Paparazzi cordon in front of a duly designated Fast Food Restaurant Product Placement as the crowd screams their approval, calls for their autographs, and feel faint or dizzy or get the vapours or whatever teen girls do when they get in proximity to famous teenage guys.

My carefully curated resources (plus the screaming girls near me) strongly imply that this is "Joe", aka Joe Thomas. He's best known for being in The Inbetweeners TV Show, The Inbetweeners Movie and Inbetweeners 2. Thanks for that, imdb.

My carefully curated resources (plus the screaming girls near me) strongly imply that this is "Joe", aka Joe Thomas. He's best known for being in The Inbetweeners TV Show, The Inbetweeners Movie and Inbetweeners 2. Thanks for that, imdb.

Similarly, James Buckley is also best known for being in The Inbetweeners Movie, The Inbetweeners TV Show and the Inbetweeners movie sequel. Oh, and a movie starring Shia LaBeouf, who is now best known for putting paper bags over his head and crying as a piece of installation art. So... you know... keep an eye on the tie. Once it comes off, he could go off the rails handily.

Similarly, James Buckley is also best known for being in The Inbetweeners Movie, The Inbetweeners TV Show and the Inbetweeners movie sequel. Oh, and a movie starring Shia LaBeouf, who is now best known for putting paper bags over his head and crying as a piece of installation art. So... you know... keep an eye on the tie. Once it comes off, he could go off the rails handily.

In contrast to the four guys, this, my keen knowledge of basic human anatomy suggests is a human female, hence not one of the Inbetweeners. The crowd was chanting "ILF! ILF! ILF!" in a way that I would have thought might have been considered somewhat offensive, but I guess it has something to do with the show.

In contrast to the four guys, this, my keen knowledge of basic human anatomy suggests is a human female, hence not one of the Inbetweeners. The crowd was chanting "ILF! ILF! ILF!" in a way that I would have thought might have been considered somewhat offensive, but I guess it has something to do with the show.

She's Belinda Stewart-Wilson, and handily she's best known for being in The Inbetweeners Movie, The Inbetweeners TV Show and the Inbeteweeners movie sequel. That said, her imdb entry is actually very large and filled with things I haven't seen or heard of. Feelings of Inadequacy? Rising.

She's Belinda Stewart-Wilson, and handily she's best known for being in The Inbetweeners Movie, The Inbetweeners TV Show and the Inbeteweeners movie sequel. That said, her imdb entry is actually very large and filled with things I haven't seen or heard of. Feelings of Inadequacy? Rising.

"OMG! You're the guy from that film I'm in !!!" As you might have guessed, Blake Harrison is also best known for his association with The Inbetweeners. He's also been in a lot of TV shows I haven't watched. In my defense... it's not that I'm too cool to watch television thee days... television is probably too cool for me. (also, I thought kids didn't watch TV anymore - I thought they just played Candy Crush and Fruit Ninja and took selifes while updating facebook)

"OMG! You're the guy from that film I'm in !!!" As you might have guessed, Blake Harrison is also best known for his association with The Inbetweeners. He's also been in a lot of TV shows I haven't watched. In my defense... it's not that I'm too cool to watch television thee days... television is probably too cool for me. (also, I thought kids didn't watch TV anymore - I thought they just played Candy Crush and Fruit Ninja and took selifes while updating facebook)

Good news for completists... much like The Spice Girls, I've now photographed all four of the Inbetweeners with the addition of Simon Bird. However unlike the Spice Girls, which took a couple of years and several events, here I've done it in one fell swoop. I am apparently (?) now the envy of any number of teenage girls in this country. I wouldn't say teenage girls are my contemporaries, but I'll take my envy where I can get it.

Good news for completists... much like The Spice Girls, I've now photographed all four of the Inbetweeners with the addition of Simon Bird. However unlike the Spice Girls, which took a couple of years and several events, here I've done it in one fell swoop. I am apparently (?) now the envy of any number of teenage girls in this country. I wouldn't say teenage girls are my contemporaries, but I'll take my envy where I can get it.

Ordinarily I'd be posting photos of the just-arrived Emily Barrington (who amazingly is best known for being in 24 : Live Another Day!)... but I have to post this photo of Simon Bird performing an inadvertent exorcism on some girl. Or so I choose to observe and report. Well done, Mr Bird.

Ordinarily I'd be posting photos of the just-arrived Emily Barrington (who amazingly is best known for being in 24 : Live Another Day!)... but I have to post this photo of Simon Bird performing an inadvertent exorcism on some girl. Or so I choose to observe and report. Well done, Mr Bird.

Emily Berrington is wearing a dress profoundly purple enough to draw the attention of (for now) two of our heroes. The other two are hastening for another photo opportunity, to the no-doubt chagrin of all the girls in the crowd.

Emily Berrington is wearing a dress profoundly purple enough to draw the attention of (for now) two of our heroes. The other two are hastening for another photo opportunity, to the no-doubt chagrin of all the girls in the crowd.

As required by fate, destiny, and the design decisions of the organisers, our newly expanded team pose in front of the noble house of the monarch of fast food.

As required by fate, destiny, and the design decisions of the organisers, our newly expanded team pose in front of the noble house of the monarch of fast food.

"I love you so much I'd ask you for money to take you out to Pizza Hut if you didn't feel like Burger King" "That's really sweet. My P.A.is holding my wallet and handbag."

"I love you so much I'd ask you for money to take you out to Pizza Hut if you didn't feel like Burger King"

"That's really sweet. My P.A.is holding my wallet and handbag."

"You know what? I've decided I like you so much I'm letting you let me let you pay to take you to Chipotle" It's a tricky concept (let alone sentence) to articulate, but it's a great call. Chipotle do great burritos. And I still don't know what this movie is about - they usually have a big screen at these events playing the movie trailer over and over and over. But not at this one.

"You know what? I've decided I like you so much I'm letting you let me let you pay to take you to Chipotle" It's a tricky concept (let alone sentence) to articulate, but it's a great call. Chipotle do great burritos. And I still don't know what this movie is about - they usually have a big screen at these events playing the movie trailer over and over and over. But not at this one.

"I gotta get my wallet". Or hightail it to the safety of the media pen.

"I gotta get my wallet". Or hightail it to the safety of the media pen.

Meanwhile, in the crowd, I've found someone who is probably closest tonal equivalent to the vibe I send out at premieres.

Meanwhile, in the crowd, I've found someone who is probably closest tonal equivalent to the vibe I send out at premieres.

"You're absolutely right. I AM one of the two directors of this film, and the more handsome and talented on as well. Wait... the other guy isn't behind me, is he?" Damon Beesley (foreground) correctly anticipates the arrival of Iain Morris).

"You're absolutely right. I AM one of the two directors of this film, and the more handsome and talented on as well. Wait... the other guy isn't behind me, is he?" Damon Beesley (foreground) correctly anticipates the arrival of Iain Morris).

Damon Beesley keeps watch, like Gotham's better dressed and more publicly visible guardian. Or maybe he's just wondering what three guys in their *cough* thirties are doing in a pen otherwise filled with people in their late teens and early twenties. And primarily female.

Damon Beesley keeps watch, like Gotham's better dressed and more publicly visible guardian. Or maybe he's just wondering what three guys in their *cough* thirties are doing in a pen otherwise filled with people in their late teens and early twenties. And primarily female.

"My Goth Def Metal Rap Band is better than YOUR Goth Def Metal Rap Band... yo." We have a new arrival : David Schaal, who plays "Jay's Dad" in the film. And no, I'm not going back to imdb to find out which of the Inbetweeners is Jay.

"My Goth Def Metal Rap Band is better than YOUR Goth Def Metal Rap Band... yo." We have a new arrival : David Schaal, who plays "Jay's Dad" in the film. And no, I'm not going back to imdb to find out which of the Inbetweeners is Jay.

Also a new arrival : actor Nick Frost (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Tintin). He has no association with this film, but I'm just pleased because I've actually heard of him!! (I'm still culturally relevant, no?)

Also a new arrival : actor Nick Frost (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Tintin). He has no association with this film, but I'm just pleased because I've actually heard of him!! (I'm still culturally relevant, no?)

"Blue sharpie instead of Black? Well... I try not to mix my alcohol based textile markers, but very well"

"Blue sharpie instead of Black? Well... I try not to mix my alcohol based textile markers, but very well"

"Are you sure you should be showing me these photos from your phone... out here in public? Okay, then!!" An update from the Inbetweeners 2 premiere... spirits remain high among fans and cast...

"Are you sure you should be showing me these photos from your phone... out here in public? Okay, then!!" An update from the Inbetweeners 2 premiere... spirits remain high among fans and cast...

"Give me zen! Give me love! Give me something, damnit... I'll take sullen indifference if you can just make me BELIEVE!!". I'd make a sub-par paparazzi. I lack the flowing locks and the desire to wear a suit. I do have a wristwatch at least as nice as this guy, though, if I do say so myself.

"Give me zen! Give me love! Give me something, damnit... I'll take sullen indifference if you can just make me BELIEVE!!". I'd make a sub-par paparazzi. I lack the flowing locks and the desire to wear a suit. I do have a wristwatch at least as nice as this guy, though, if I do say so myself.

"This man? This man has a bald head. And it is excellent" David Schaal's repertoire of facial expressions makes him awesome to photograph.

"This man? This man has a bald head. And it is excellent" David Schaal's repertoire of facial expressions makes him awesome to photograph.

"Is that a Pentax? A PENTAX?? I scoff at your inferior choice of brand". Hey... as a Pentax user I object to that. Only the autofocus is inferior. Plus I've gone back to using the 2-generations old K5. It's a bit more sprightly in the field than the shinier K3 which looks fantastic on my bookshelf looking pretty while the K5 is out working competently.

"Is that a Pentax? A PENTAX?? I scoff at your inferior choice of brand". Hey... as a Pentax user I object to that. Only the autofocus is inferior. Plus I've gone back to using the 2-generations old K5. It's a bit more sprightly in the field than the shinier K3 which looks fantastic on my bookshelf looking pretty while the K5 is out working competently.

"Lady, I'm going to have to ask you to remove those sunglasses because they're distracting fans from cheering at us. I'm from a boy-band you see". Apparently he's one of three members of a group called "Union J" and depending on how much you trust the barometer of screaming girls as a valid indicator of fame, they're famous.

"Lady, I'm going to have to ask you to remove those sunglasses because they're distracting fans from cheering at us. I'm from a boy-band you see". Apparently he's one of three members of a group called "Union J" and depending on how much you trust the barometer of screaming girls as a valid indicator of fame, they're famous.

Good news... here's the other two members of the Union J collective. (the blonde lady is merely disinterestedly in the way ...she seems to be coping well with proximity to a reality TV-show originating boyband.

Good news... here's the other two members of the Union J collective. (the blonde lady is merely disinterestedly in the way ...she seems to be coping well with proximity to a reality TV-show originating boyband.

Fiitingly for this premiere, I also have no idea who this is. But I'll concede I don't pose quite this coolly and sophisticatedly when taking a photo of a friend being photographed by the paparazzi (on the rare occasions that this happens)

Fiitingly for this premiere, I also have no idea who this is. But I'll concede I don't pose quite this coolly and sophisticatedly when taking a photo of a friend being photographed by the paparazzi (on the rare occasions that this happens)

But I think we can agree that no matter what happens, when Fake Johnny Depp Gangster With Swirly Moustache hits your red carpet, the premiere has hit its natural climax and it's time to go home.

But I think we can agree that no matter what happens, when Fake Johnny Depp Gangster With Swirly Moustache hits your red carpet, the premiere has hit its natural climax and it's time to go home.

So... rather excitingly that was it : my second premiere in two days. As premieres go, this was lower stress and higher enjoyment than most. I may not have watched the TV show but I can recognise fans having a good time. And that's good.

There's still another premiere scheduled this week... a smaller one, but I'll see how I go. The majority of the cast and crew at that one are apparently French, so that should make it even less likely than zero that I'll know anybody except the lead actress. But we'll see.

Until next time!

ps. Finally, if you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieresdotco