4 Aug - The Expendables III World Premiere

Leicester Square was a LOT more crowded today, as fans thronged to grab hand-written wrist-numbers for the right to get access to a central area that many of the biggest stars didn't necessarily restrict themselves to. And you know... other than the lack of a stage, the lack of a celebratory custom non-red carpet, the lack of explosions or arrival of key stars by attack helicopter or rappelling down the sides of nearby buildings, ... and the lack of about 80% of the people on the movie poster... it wasn't the worst premiere I've ever been to.

Here's how it went down.

Some fans' costumes were convincing enough they caught the attention of legitimate law enforcement who, restricted to mere handcuffs, batons and strong language, might have feared they'd be a little under-powered against these guys.

Some fans' costumes were convincing enough they caught the attention of legitimate law enforcement who, restricted to mere handcuffs, batons and strong language, might have feared they'd be a little under-powered against these guys.

Eventually they let us into our large pen, showing a view of the carpet, the Trailer on insta-repeat, and the hashtag I knew I'd have to photograph so I wouldn't have to remember it when I post this journal on twitter.

Eventually they let us into our large pen, showing a view of the carpet, the Trailer on insta-repeat, and the hashtag I knew I'd have to photograph so I wouldn't have to remember it when I post this journal on twitter.

There's a lot of people on that poster. Sadly the majority were not to attend. On the plus side - smoking outside in London isn't particularly frowned upon, so if Mr Stallone wants to light up there are options.

There's a lot of people on that poster. Sadly the majority were not to attend. On the plus side - smoking outside in London isn't particularly frowned upon, so if Mr Stallone wants to light up there are options.

The List for an event is a Paparazzi's true source of power, but not being one of those I always have to settle for surreptitiously taking a photo of somebody carrying it by. For this premiere, The List ran to FIVE pages, but only the first page contained people from the movie. And, worse, three of them were subsequently struck from the list - Dolph Lundren, director Patrick Hughes, and sole-female-on-the-movie-poster Ronda Rousey

The List for an event is a Paparazzi's true source of power, but not being one of those I always have to settle for surreptitiously taking a photo of somebody carrying it by. For this premiere, The List ran to FIVE pages, but only the first page contained people from the movie. And, worse, three of them were subsequently struck from the list - Dolph Lundren, director Patrick Hughes, and sole-female-on-the-movie-poster Ronda Rousey

There are many who opine that Alex Zane is the epitome of premiere hosts, and indeed he has a certain... punctuality. And great hair. However, today's host is Laura Whitmore, and I for one... am not disappointed.

There are many who opine that Alex Zane is the epitome of premiere hosts, and indeed he has a certain... punctuality. And great hair. However, today's host is Laura Whitmore, and I for one... am not disappointed.

Fittingly, our first arrival is The Main Guy - Sylvester Stallone himself. He wrote and directed Rocky and starred in it, he's been Rambo, he conceived of The Expendables....  he was even in Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. In all respects he's earned the right to wear a green-jacked suit to an Expendables III premiere. I'll be showcasing more of it in this journal... it's quite spectacular(ish)

Fittingly, our first arrival is The Main Guy - Sylvester Stallone himself. He wrote and directed Rocky and starred in it, he's been Rambo, he conceived of The Expendables....  he was even in Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. In all respects he's earned the right to wear a green-jacked suit to an Expendables III premiere. I'll be showcasing more of it in this journal... it's quite spectacular(ish)

Sylvester Stallone walks the red carpet with the comfortable and well-earned swagger of a man for whom there are announced or rumoured sequels to all three of his biggest franchises ("Creed" for Rocky, "Expendables 4", and a possible fifth Rambo film).. On the other hand, the jacket might simply have been ironed/dry-cleaned a bit excessively.

Sylvester Stallone walks the red carpet with the comfortable and well-earned swagger of a man for whom there are announced or rumoured sequels to all three of his biggest franchises ("Creed" for Rocky, "Expendables 4", and a possible fifth Rambo film).. On the other hand, the jacket might simply have been ironed/dry-cleaned a bit excessively.

"See kids? Your Dad is KNOWN for being a director". Sly Stallone brought the whole family to the premiere, but acknowledged that his daughters were fans of Twilight and most excited to be here to see Kellan Lutz. Hee!

"See kids? Your Dad is KNOWN for being a director". Sly Stallone brought the whole family to the premiere, but acknowledged that his daughters were fans of Twilight and most excited to be here to see Kellan Lutz. Hee!

A while later, as Stallone continued his tour of the far reaches of the crowd all around, the next to arrive was Antonio Banderas, who I had photographed before at the premiere of "Puss In Boots". This time I had more daylight in which to take better shots... however he proved curiously mercurial at this event.

A while later, as Stallone continued his tour of the far reaches of the crowd all around, the next to arrive was Antonio Banderas, who I had photographed before at the premiere of "Puss In Boots". This time I had more daylight in which to take better shots... however he proved curiously mercurial at this event.

I'd never photographed actor Wesley Snipes before, so getting him pull ballet poses in front of the VIP Paps was, as you can imagine, a particular thrill.

I'd never photographed actor Wesley Snipes before, so getting him pull ballet poses in front of the VIP Paps was, as you can imagine, a particular thrill.

It's Wesley Snipes!! He famously served a 3yr jail sentence on charges related to tax evasion. I hold no judgement on the matter, but I do note that the scum of the earth who caused such things as the US Sub-prime mortgage catastrophe that led to the worldwide recession mostly seemed to escape even slaps on the risk for causing misery to millions, so I'm always glad to hear that the USA has it priorities straight. Wait... I think this journal's been hacked. I don't make political statements in premiere journals, people!!

It's Wesley Snipes!! He famously served a 3yr jail sentence on charges related to tax evasion. I hold no judgement on the matter, but I do note that the scum of the earth who caused such things as the US Sub-prime mortgage catastrophe that led to the worldwide recession mostly seemed to escape even slaps on the risk for causing misery to millions, so I'm always glad to hear that the USA has it priorities straight. Wait... I think this journal's been hacked. I don't make political statements in premiere journals, people!!

"I'm not a hater anymore. I restrict myself to only wanting to kill people who wear thin red ties. Not merely red ties, but THIN RED TIES". Everyone has irrational hatreds. I choose to respect them.

"I'm not a hater anymore. I restrict myself to only wanting to kill people who wear thin red ties. Not merely red ties, but THIN RED TIES". Everyone has irrational hatreds. I choose to respect them.

"It' cool. The dude behind me has a tie that's well within my minimum thickness criteria. But thanks for noticing and respecting. Peace". Wesley Snipes has had a long and illustrious career of 1980s action films, but as I was never a fan of many of those back in the day (or of the Blade series), my favourite of his film roles remains his team-up with Sylvester Stallone in 1993's Demolition Man. It's aged poorly, but my nostalgia overrides it.

"It' cool. The dude behind me has a tie that's well within my minimum thickness criteria. But thanks for noticing and respecting. Peace". Wesley Snipes has had a long and illustrious career of 1980s action films, but as I was never a fan of many of those back in the day (or of the Blade series), my favourite of his film roles remains his team-up with Sylvester Stallone in 1993's Demolition Man. It's aged poorly, but my nostalgia overrides it.

"A sequel to the "Driven"? I'm kind of busy, but sure I'd love to. Why not?". Hey, I totally rated that film.

"A sequel to the "Driven"? I'm kind of busy, but sure I'd love to. Why not?". Hey, I totally rated that film.

In Demolition Man, it was Taco Bell that ended up winning the Fast Food Wars. It sucks when Utopian futures two decades ago never eventuated 20 years later. London doesn't even have ONE Taco Bell restaurant. Last time I had some was Reykavik, Iceland, 2010. True story. Iceland rocks. (For reasons other than merely Taco Bell, incidentally)

In Demolition Man, it was Taco Bell that ended up winning the Fast Food Wars. It sucks when Utopian futures two decades ago never eventuated 20 years later. London doesn't even have ONE Taco Bell restaurant. Last time I had some was Reykavik, Iceland, 2010. True story. Iceland rocks. (For reasons other than merely Taco Bell, incidentally)

He's Kellan Lutz, he's best known for being in the Twilight series of films, and apparently he's flirting with me? Should I be swooning? Should I be a teenage girl? Because I am neither of those things. Flattered, though, sure.

He's Kellan Lutz, he's best known for being in the Twilight series of films, and apparently he's flirting with me? Should I be swooning? Should I be a teenage girl? Because I am neither of those things. Flattered, though, sure.

Antonio Banderas remains deucedly difficult to photograph, but I'm captivated by his main security detail seemingly spontaneously bursting into a solo dance. Paso Doble, I think?

Antonio Banderas remains deucedly difficult to photograph, but I'm captivated by his main security detail seemingly spontaneously bursting into a solo dance. Paso Doble, I think?

It's as much of a photo of Antonio Banderas as I've managed so far. I will state at this stage that I was fairly disappointed that the action heroes of my youth all walked around with bodyguards and security to protect them from fans. I kinda wanted to see Jason Statham drawing a knife on any fan that got too rowdy, or Stallone headbutting an overenthusiastic autograph dealer as necessary.

It's as much of a photo of Antonio Banderas as I've managed so far. I will state at this stage that I was fairly disappointed that the action heroes of my youth all walked around with bodyguards and security to protect them from fans. I kinda wanted to see Jason Statham drawing a knife on any fan that got too rowdy, or Stallone headbutting an overenthusiastic autograph dealer as necessary.

He's got his signing suit, his signing sunnies, his signing watch, and signing pen.... needless to say Jason Statham is ready and happy to mingle with the public. He didn't bring his supermodel girlfriend to this event, choosing instead to bring friend and fellow actor Vinnie Jones. It's an interesting choice... not one I would have made, if I'm honest.

He's got his signing suit, his signing sunnies, his signing watch, and signing pen.... needless to say Jason Statham is ready and happy to mingle with the public. He didn't bring his supermodel girlfriend to this event, choosing instead to bring friend and fellow actor Vinnie Jones. It's an interesting choice... not one I would have made, if I'm honest.

I got Jason Statham's autograph at the prior Expendables premiere back in 2012... as a balding white guy he's certainly a hero of mine. We have so few outside of Nobel Laureates and 60-70 year olds.

I got Jason Statham's autograph at the prior Expendables premiere back in 2012... as a balding white guy he's certainly a hero of mine. We have so few outside of Nobel Laureates and 60-70 year olds.

Looks-wise, if you're interested, I'm probably a little longer-haired and with a less even distribution of stubble than Jason Statham. My Raybans are a bit more like Neo's from The matrix and sadly I rarely if ever wear a tie. I also lack a movie career. But I'm about 90% of the way to being Jason Statham in my opinion. So if any aspiring supermodels want to get in at the ground floor with a future Jason Statham lookalike, you know where to contact me.

Looks-wise, if you're interested, I'm probably a little longer-haired and with a less even distribution of stubble than Jason Statham. My Raybans are a bit more like Neo's from The matrix and sadly I rarely if ever wear a tie. I also lack a movie career. But I'm about 90% of the way to being Jason Statham in my opinion. So if any aspiring supermodels want to get in at the ground floor with a future Jason Statham lookalike, you know where to contact me.

I'm going to pause for just a second and acknowledge the serious male-bias to this journal to date. Time to address this vital issue. I have no idea who she is, but I'm pretty confident I've spotted a female of the species.

I'm going to pause for just a second and acknowledge the serious male-bias to this journal to date. Time to address this vital issue. I have no idea who she is, but I'm pretty confident I've spotted a female of the species.

Sylvester Stallone has retired to the public comfort (and no doubt spectacular views) of the premiere as afforded by the Odeon Leicester Square balcony. Life? Appears to be good when your suit is green and your movie is having a London World Premiere.

Sylvester Stallone has retired to the public comfort (and no doubt spectacular views) of the premiere as afforded by the Odeon Leicester Square balcony. Life? Appears to be good when your suit is green and your movie is having a London World Premiere.

Meanwhile, in frankly astounding news, I've managed to photograph Antonio Banderas. Mostly not-blurry. I'll take it.

Meanwhile, in frankly astounding news, I've managed to photograph Antonio Banderas. Mostly not-blurry. I'll take it.

Jason Statham's "Premiere Date" Vinnie Jones comes to our area to sign autographs and pose for selfies. He didn't heabutt anyone and I was simultaneously relieved and disappointed by this.

Jason Statham's "Premiere Date" Vinnie Jones comes to our area to sign autographs and pose for selfies. He didn't heabutt anyone and I was simultaneously relieved and disappointed by this.

Incredibly, a second .... I believe they're called "a woman" has come to the premiere (I'm excluding P.As and members of Sylvester Stallone's immediate family from the count)

Incredibly, a second .... I believe they're called "a woman" has come to the premiere (I'm excluding P.As and members of Sylvester Stallone's immediate family from the count)

"You sure you can't stay and watch all of Breaking Dawn Part 2 streamed on my mobile phone with me?". It's tempting, I'm sure.

"You sure you can't stay and watch all of Breaking Dawn Part 2 streamed on my mobile phone with me?". It's tempting, I'm sure.

Meanwhile, this I can't not explain or adequately mentally conceptualise. Can't not photograph it either, though.

Meanwhile, this I can't not explain or adequately mentally conceptualise. Can't not photograph it either, though.

Sylvester Stallone plays cupid from the Odeon balcony. I'd like to think he's formalising the Statham-VinnieJones bromance. As we've established, I look significantly like Jason Statham and no doubt supermodel girlfriend Rosie Huntington-Whitely will need to be adequately consoled.

Sylvester Stallone plays cupid from the Odeon balcony. I'd like to think he's formalising the Statham-VinnieJones bromance. As we've established, I look significantly like Jason Statham and no doubt supermodel girlfriend Rosie Huntington-Whitely will need to be adequately consoled.

So... that was another premiere. I'll concede this movie isn't massively high on my must-see list, but I suppose there's always one of those long multi-leg flights to and from Australia to get suitably drunk and enjoy it.

Next up... hard to say. There's a premiere tomorrow as well, but it's for a bit of a niche film (meaning : I'm sure the kids will love it, but it's not my thing).

So... until next time!... sometime!

ps. Finally, if you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieresdotco