26 Aug - 'Haider' Apple Store Event

August 26th, 2014.

I'm still somewhat reluctant to post Apple Store event journals, firstly because Apple can and probably would send out hit squads to destroy me if they even felt I was thinking about impugning them, their company, their products, or their events.

Additionally, what with unicolour backdrops, uniform stage setups and identical lighting from event-to-event, it's not like they represent the height of random cool that a regular Leicester Square premiere can offer. However, with premieres seemingly on hiatus pending London Film Festival in October, or me planning my holidays and finding out afterwards when all the premieres are announced.... what else can I do?

Besides, this is an Indian Shakespeare adaptation, and that's *culture*...

I'm going to be upfront and honest and say that I have never knowingly watched any film with Shahid Kapoor or Vishal Bhardwaj attached. But this is no slight on their skills, just my culturally oblivious negligence in such things (I've watched a fair amount of Japanese stuff, if that restores some credibility... but then I found much of them inscrutably weird, if that loses it again)

I'm going to be upfront and honest and say that I have never knowingly watched any film with Shahid Kapoor or Vishal Bhardwaj attached. But this is no slight on their skills, just my culturally oblivious negligence in such things (I've watched a fair amount of Japanese stuff, if that restores some credibility... but then I found much of them inscrutably weird, if that loses it again)

I actually got a seat at this one and only arrived 45mins early (this is not meant to be taken as a guideline of how early to get to an Apple Store event to ensure a seat... it's also not a challenge to get there hours or days beforehand... people want to buy iPads, guys : don't get in their way)

I actually got a seat at this one and only arrived 45mins early (this is not meant to be taken as a guideline of how early to get to an Apple Store event to ensure a seat... it's also not a challenge to get there hours or days beforehand... people want to buy iPads, guys : don't get in their way)

They're here! (and the trailer to Haider looks great, if I do say so myself... while acknowledging I'd hardly go and say it was crap. Then again, I'd say it was "good" - saying "great" is a choice!)

They're here! (and the trailer to Haider looks great, if I do say so myself... while acknowledging I'd hardly go and say it was crap. Then again, I'd say it was "good" - saying "great" is a choice!)

Vishal Bhardwaj (left) has now directed three Shakespearean adaptations - the prior two both winning Awards of the International Indian Film Academy. Meanwhile, Shahid Kapoor (right) garnered quite the excitable female crowd to this event.

Vishal Bhardwaj (left) has now directed three Shakespearean adaptations - the prior two both winning Awards of the International Indian Film Academy. Meanwhile, Shahid Kapoor (right) garnered quite the excitable female crowd to this event.

"Don't worry about him. He gets like that when he's intense. We kept him like that overnight once just to get him ready for a particularly important scene" (Shahid Kapoor, in contrast to my flippancy, has garnered two Best Actor Nominations (2008 and 2010) of the Awards of the International Indian Film Academy... and winning one for Best Debut in 2004)

"Don't worry about him. He gets like that when he's intense. We kept him like that overnight once just to get him ready for a particularly important scene" (Shahid Kapoor, in contrast to my flippancy, has garnered two Best Actor Nominations (2008 and 2010) of the Awards of the International Indian Film Academy... and winning one for Best Debut in 2004)

"Black shirt and open jacket breasts... is that where I've been going wrong??". It's a question worth asking : Shahid Kapoor won Best Male at the 2012 Indian GQ Awards. (I persist in wearing Nikes and a Hoodie to most things these days...)

"Black shirt and open jacket breasts... is that where I've been going wrong??". It's a question worth asking : Shahid Kapoor won Best Male at the 2012 Indian GQ Awards. (I persist in wearing Nikes and a Hoodie to most things these days...)

"Do I feel like I'm being watched and professionally lit wherever I go? Sure". Guy in front of me was taking photos with an iPad. Just saying.

"Do I feel like I'm being watched and professionally lit wherever I go? Sure". Guy in front of me was taking photos with an iPad. Just saying.

"So I was... like... "To Be Or Not To Be...." but in Hindi. You haven't experienced Shakespeare until you've experienced him in the original Hindi". Or Klingon. Or Hanar (and if you're a girl and get that last reference - text me, you're officially cool and we should totally hang out)

"So I was... like... "To Be Or Not To Be...." but in Hindi. You haven't experienced Shakespeare until you've experienced him in the original Hindi". Or Klingon. Or Hanar (and if you're a girl and get that last reference - text me, you're officially cool and we should totally hang out)

"And he was all 'but if I have to shave my head, how will I look cool for The Ladiez??' And I was like "Dude, haven't you heard of Jason Statham? He gets ALL The Ladiez". Damn straight he does. Bald is the new black.

"And he was all 'but if I have to shave my head, how will I look cool for The Ladiez??' And I was like "Dude, haven't you heard of Jason Statham? He gets ALL The Ladiez". Damn straight he does. Bald is the new black.

"Oh, how we both laughed. But then I was like... just shave your damn head, handsome". I'm making this up - Shahid was very open about having no reservations shaving his lustrously beautiful hair - just meant he had to think about his filming commitments for the next couple of months. Or take a holiday. I'd take a holiday.

"Oh, how we both laughed. But then I was like... just shave your damn head, handsome". I'm making this up - Shahid was very open about having no reservations shaving his lustrously beautiful hair - just meant he had to think about his filming commitments for the next couple of months. Or take a holiday. I'd take a holiday.

"You have a question for Shahid Kapoor? If it's yet another marriage proposal, we're cutting off your microphone". It was another marriage proposal. (I'm joking) (though many asked if they could have a picture taken with him afterwards, and he cheerfully said 'yes')

"You have a question for Shahid Kapoor? If it's yet another marriage proposal, we're cutting off your microphone". It was another marriage proposal. (I'm joking) (though many asked if they could have a picture taken with him afterwards, and he cheerfully said 'yes')

Big thanks to Apple for the downlights and the added comedy/sci-fi photos it provided.

Big thanks to Apple for the downlights and the added comedy/sci-fi photos it provided.

"What if I've only ever watched Michael Bay and Marvel Comics movies... will I like this movie?" Chances are... you're probably ready for a change. I myself have watched only one non-"Bollywood" Indian movie - the fantastic Barfi! which one best picture, director and actor at the International Indian Film Academy awards. Watch it. Watch it NOW.

"What if I've only ever watched Michael Bay and Marvel Comics movies... will I like this movie?" Chances are... you're probably ready for a change. I myself have watched only one non-"Bollywood" Indian movie - the fantastic Barfi! which one best picture, director and actor at the International Indian Film Academy awards. Watch it. Watch it NOW.

"Yes, fine. Absolutely watch Barfi!(2012). But ... like... could you also watch OUR movie??". I promise I'll try.

"Yes, fine. Absolutely watch Barfi!(2012). But ... like... could you also watch OUR movie??". I promise I'll try.

"Ladies and Gentlemen (mostly Ladies) : Shahid Kapoor!!". Time to go, then? (no.. time to make room for people to scramble to the front and get photos with Shahid Kapoor)

"Ladies and Gentlemen (mostly Ladies) : Shahid Kapoor!!". Time to go, then? (no.. time to make room for people to scramble to the front and get photos with Shahid Kapoor)

So.. .that was an event, and it was a good one. I don't get exposed (or 'allow myself to get exposed') to nearly enough new things. If it doesn't have explosions or a Hans Zimmer (or Zimmer-esque) soundtrack, it doesn't often drive me to a cinema. Most of my movie-watching is done on DVD and on planes, so... hopefully I'll get myself across to see this one.

Apologies if I've offended anyone with my utter ignorance of Indian film and culture... I'm just a western pig trying to elevate myself from a film diet whose last meal was... um... .Conan The Barbarian (2011) on DVD.... but in my defense it was a rainy Monday public holiday and it felt right. I've also finally discovered "Sherlock" which is brilliant, and I do heartily recommend 'Barfi!' because that was an amazing film to my jaded western eyes.

Does it go into The Archive? With some reservations as it's not a premiere as such, sure, why not?

ps. Apple, since you already own my likeness and voice in perpetuity, if you want the photos (and/or my firstborn, assuming I ever have one) - let me know.

ps. if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or facebook at premieresdotco.