17 Oct - The BFI LFF 'A Little Chaos' Premiere

October 17th, 2014.

This premiere journal is the companionpiece to another premiere journal which rather incredibly was taking place AT THE SAME TIME on the SAME RED CARPET.

Although.... I've since learned it was even stranger than that.

Here's how it went down

Two Lists, Two Premieres, one carpet. This journal is for Alan Rickman's "A Little Chaos", the other one was for the James McAvoy-led "The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby : Them". And...

Two Lists, Two Premieres, one carpet. This journal is for Alan Rickman's "A Little Chaos", the other one was for the James McAvoy-led "The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby : Them". And...

This is not merely a random good-looking fashionable salmon-wearing Suit-jacked woman... this is Kalki Koechlin who is in the movie "Margarita With A Straw" which was ALSO having its (very brief) premiere at the same time. I'm not quite sure whether I like this "Red Carpet As A Busy Airport Runway" thing they're doing... but I tend to think I do.

This is not merely a random good-looking fashionable salmon-wearing Suit-jacked woman... this is Kalki Koechlin who is in the movie "Margarita With A Straw" which was ALSO having its (very brief) premiere at the same time. I'm not quite sure whether I like this "Red Carpet As A Busy Airport Runway" thing they're doing... but I tend to think I do.

Sleeves with zippers... holes torn out of the waist of a formal jacket.... salmon pink colour... I'm so out of touch with the nuances of today's fashion I'm wondering if it's still okay to wear a black beanie when you step outdoors and it's cold.

Sleeves with zippers... holes torn out of the waist of a formal jacket.... salmon pink colour... I'm so out of touch with the nuances of today's fashion I'm wondering if it's still okay to wear a black beanie when you step outdoors and it's cold.

Meanwhile, this is not a battle suit for Elysium or Edge of Tomorrow constituting a 4th/5th simultaneous premiere, but rather a BBC cameraman with a counter-weighted, gymbal-stabilised, waist-mounted, possibly-also-cup-holder-included camera rig. And to think, I still use two hands to hold my camera. Or one if I'm feeling particularly adventurous.

Meanwhile, this is not a battle suit for Elysium or Edge of Tomorrow constituting a 4th/5th simultaneous premiere, but rather a BBC cameraman with a counter-weighted, gymbal-stabilised, waist-mounted, possibly-also-cup-holder-included camera rig. And to think, I still use two hands to hold my camera. Or one if I'm feeling particularly adventurous.

Contrary to (possible) popular belief, people don't just randomly stand on a red carpet to be interviewed or photographed. Sometimes there are markings on a carpet to show where people will stand. Alternatively, you have to be realistic... are you REALLY going to tell Professor Snape or Hans Gruber where he's meant to stand?

Contrary to (possible) popular belief, people don't just randomly stand on a red carpet to be interviewed or photographed. Sometimes there are markings on a carpet to show where people will stand. Alternatively, you have to be realistic... are you REALLY going to tell Professor Snape or Hans Gruber where he's meant to stand?

BBC Dude did a couple of practice runs along the carpet when it was still fairly unoccupied. I'm sure you could mount a couple of flamethrowers and a hand-grenade launcher on this rig and it would pretty much go unnoticed.

BBC Dude did a couple of practice runs along the carpet when it was still fairly unoccupied. I'm sure you could mount a couple of flamethrowers and a hand-grenade launcher on this rig and it would pretty much go unnoticed.

Security and Reporters came into our area and warned us that while we had a front-row spot, we should be aware that our views would likely be blocked by Media and interviewers. So.... this could have been quite the journal for "Blurry, Therefore Art" shots. Fortunately, my newly renovated previously waterlogged 70-200mm lens was capable of taking advantage of gaps. Plus I'd brought my GoPro... just in case.

Security and Reporters came into our area and warned us that while we had a front-row spot, we should be aware that our views would likely be blocked by Media and interviewers. So.... this could have been quite the journal for "Blurry, Therefore Art" shots. Fortunately, my newly renovated previously waterlogged 70-200mm lens was capable of taking advantage of gaps. Plus I'd brought my GoPro... just in case.

He's arrived! Alan Rickman is both the star and director of this film. Several autograph dealers literally went along the lines of fans at this premiere making sure that nobody had Harry Potter stuff for him to sign, because apparently not only will he not sign such items, but he'll snub anyone around anyone who does. I have no idea if that's true, but I'll happily escalate that rumour by saying he'll headbutt babies and burn down cafes nearby if anyone so much as mentioned Severus Snape.

He's arrived! Alan Rickman is both the star and director of this film. Several autograph dealers literally went along the lines of fans at this premiere making sure that nobody had Harry Potter stuff for him to sign, because apparently not only will he not sign such items, but he'll snub anyone around anyone who does. I have no idea if that's true, but I'll happily escalate that rumour by saying he'll headbutt babies and burn down cafes nearby if anyone so much as mentioned Severus Snape.

"What's that? Did you say you once knew someone who once WATCHED a Harry Potter movie? I'll torch your home town if that's even half-true".

"What's that? Did you say you once knew someone who once WATCHED a Harry Potter movie? I'll torch your home town if that's even half-true".

BBC reporter near me clutches interview questions nervously, has one last look to ensure that the words "Harry", "Potter" don't appear - even out of context - anywhere... and hopes that he doesn't accidentally refer to the film "A Little Chaos" as in any way "magical"

BBC reporter near me clutches interview questions nervously, has one last look to ensure that the words "Harry", "Potter" don't appear - even out of context - anywhere... and hopes that he doesn't accidentally refer to the film "A Little Chaos" as in any way "magical"

Alan Rickman glowers at the BBC as they do a couple of soundchecks, keeping him waiting on the red carpet.

Alan Rickman glowers at the BBC as they do a couple of soundchecks, keeping him waiting on the red carpet.

He then realises it means a reprieve from signing autographs and torching villages and cheers up immediately. (I kid... Alan Rickman is in fact very cool)

He then realises it means a reprieve from signing autographs and torching villages and cheers up immediately. (I kid... Alan Rickman is in fact very cool)

"Those rumours that an angel get its wings torn off by me personally every time anyone asks me about Harry Potter were actually started by me. How was I supposed to know that my dry wit would be interpreted as malice?" Still, best to restrict your autograph requests to such things as Galaxy Quest and Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, just to be sure.

"Those rumours that an angel get its wings torn off by me personally every time anyone asks me about Harry Potter were actually started by me. How was I supposed to know that my dry wit would be interpreted as malice?" Still, best to restrict your autograph requests to such things as Galaxy Quest and Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, just to be sure.

"You had the words "Pensieve" and "Potion" running through your mind, didn't you?"

"You had the words "Pensieve" and "Potion" running through your mind, didn't you?"

Reporter 1 (left): "Am I allowed to mention Die Hard?" Reporter 2 (right) "No, you fool. He'll kill us all"

Reporter 1 (left): "Am I allowed to mention Die Hard?"
Reporter 2 (right) "No, you fool. He'll kill us all"

"Hey, is that Alan Rickman?? Awesome, I brought a copy of The Halfblood Prince for him to sign" In my imagination, James McAvoy said this and was immediately tackled to the ground, his DVD confiscated and replaced with a copy of "Love, Actually"

"Hey, is that Alan Rickman?? Awesome, I brought a copy of The Halfblood Prince for him to sign" In my imagination, James McAvoy said this and was immediately tackled to the ground, his DVD confiscated and replaced with a copy of "Love, Actually"

"No, I will not say why Kate Winslet, Helen McCrory, Stanley Tucci and Matthias Shoenaerts arne't here, and no it has nothing to do with anything that can be traced to me."

"No, I will not say why Kate Winslet, Helen McCrory, Stanley Tucci and Matthias Shoenaerts arne't here, and no it has nothing to do with anything that can be traced to me."

There was one other star on the red carpet at this premiere, not attached to any of the two (three) movies having premieres, and that's Homeland's Damian Lewis. Although I now note that the blurry dude in front of him is almost certainly Actor/Director Dexter Fletcher whose appearance at premieres for movies he's not involved in used to a source of derision. However, I've since watched his rather excellent film "Wild Bill" and I was very impressed.

There was one other star on the red carpet at this premiere, not attached to any of the two (three) movies having premieres, and that's Homeland's Damian Lewis. Although I now note that the blurry dude in front of him is almost certainly Actor/Director Dexter Fletcher whose appearance at premieres for movies he's not involved in used to a source of derision. However, I've since watched his rather excellent film "Wild Bill" and I was very impressed.

"I'm going to sign some autographs. Pam, hand me my pen. By which I obviously mean "Silencer" "

"I'm going to sign some autographs. Pam, hand me my pen. By which I obviously mean "Silencer" "

"Wait.. .is that a Quiddich Broom??"

"Wait.. .is that a Quiddich Broom??"

"I can hold this smile for four seconds more. Then I'm going back to scowling. it's much easier on my jaw muscles" A frown is my natural 'resting' face too. They say it takes less muscles to smile, but I don't believe them.

"I can hold this smile for four seconds more. Then I'm going back to scowling. it's much easier on my jaw muscles" A frown is my natural 'resting' face too. They say it takes less muscles to smile, but I don't believe them.

"My movie ticket? Pam, hand me my silencer."

"My movie ticket? Pam, hand me my silencer."

"These aren't my fingerprints. Honestly. They're Stanley Tucci's. Just ask him"

"These aren't my fingerprints. Honestly. They're Stanley Tucci's. Just ask him"

So... .that was a bit of an experience. And lest it be misunderstood... Alan Rickman was very nice. Although he didn't sign anything from Harry Potter either. And it's Another Movie For The Archive Of Movie Premieres

Tomorrow I'm going to do the impossible and NOT go to any London Film Festival events : Instead I'll save my strength and grab some sleep and prepare myself for the BFI LFF Closing Film - the Brad Pitt-led "Fury". I assume that'll be a madhouse.

Until next time!

By the way, if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or facebook at premieresdotco.