April 7th, 2019.
(NOTE : NOW UPDATED WITH WINNERS - further below)
Well… it’s that time of year again : the first of two theatre-related events I try to get to in order to take photos, and desperately not feel like an uncultured heathen because I don’t know anyone from the world of theatre. I’d like to say I watched at least one play in the past 12 months… but I suspect that I can’t without lying. I listened to the soundtrack of “Shakespeare In Love” at least once, though, if that helps.
Here’s how it went down.
Wristband handouts for the event were scheduled at 11:00am, but when I dropped by at around 9:15 there was no queue. Rather than this signalling the death-knell of theatre in London, though, it merely meant they’d handed them out early. I was given wristband #73 and told to come back in about four hours.
The front pen on the stairs was closest to the photographers… but I ended up in the front row of the third pen : better elevation, albeit at the cost of a lot more people between me and anyone at the bottom of the stairs.
My view.
Not pictured : me.
“It says ‘spool film here’. Does anyone have any film? Or know what a spool is?”
“If I were to stay here throughout the event, could I get my interviews done here on the stairs rather than the custom stage they thoughtfully constructed over yonder?”
the stage was weatherproof… but it was way over <there>. Fortunately, it soon stopped raining.
Wireimage helpfully identifies them as Kate Graham, Sara Poyzer, and Ricky Butt, but the fact that they appear to recognise me concerns me quite a lot.
“I can TOTALLY wear this and still be vegan, STEVE.”
Angellica Bell is another one of this event’s hosts. I think there were four. Sadly your good friend and mine, Hakeem Mr Impact and his tame DJ Legitim8 The4ter did not provide warmup duties for this event
Gok Wan, the nature of whose fame I’m not entirely certain of, was a third host of this event.
“I hated that sofa, but right now I regret destroying it”.
I don’t know who this is, but if there’s any leftover I could maybe line the inside of some of my thin beanies with it.
“I’m not only the fourth host, I’m also part of the other three. It’s complicated, and the metaphysics of it are not entirely clear but I… oh, right. You’re not interested. You just want to know where I got this jacket”
- I don’t know who this is, but I think he was the fourth host of this event.
“Jacques told me that I had to wear the scarf with uneven lengths, and was very persuasive about it. But he’s not here and I’m not sure any more. Dear, do you have Jacques’ number?”
“Hey, your two year old couldn’t do this, much less in heels….”
Joanne Clifton is… erm…. wearing that dress. That’s all I’ve got for now. (edited to add : possibly a choreogapher (?) on the show Strictly Come Dancing?)
“Believe me, if I frowned any harder, you’d know about it”
Nell Hudson is, I’m reliably informed, best known for playing something or someone called “Skerrett” in something called “Victoria”. I’m not even sure that’s theatre related.
“Which of the armed forces am I a member of? The most fabulous one, obviously”.
Wireimage calls her Eleanor Matsora , but imdb.com notes somebody somewhat similar looking called “Eleanor Matsuura” who was in Wonder Woman, and something called “MI-5” that was not however a Tom Cruise Mission Impossible film. Meanwhile, this dress appears to exist in more than 4 dimensions and I know there’s a mostly finished bottle of German beer sitting next to me as I type this, but I swear I’m not making most of this up.
“Holding your dress the same way as I am isn’t helping me get up these stairs, babe”
”I was going by the adage that a problem shared is a problem halved…… babe”
Antonia Thomas (centre-ish) was possibly in something called “The Good Doctor” and something else called “Lovesick” and something else called “Teletubbies”. None of which have much to do with theatre, true, but then I don’t and I’m here.
“I’m totally not taking that guy’s wallet while I’m talking to you”
”….”
”By which I mean I’m leaving his wallet and only taking its contents”
I don’t know who this is, but the handiwork looks fairly deft.
“If this doesn’t get me on the cover of Hair-Swish Monthly, I’m wearing caps and beanies everywhere from now on”. Woohoo… our numbers are growing, and I don’t care why.
“I’m just taking a photo of the building, guys… but okay, sure, lean in and admire my mad compositional skillz”
“What do you mean ‘you’re here but you can’t see me’? There are people looking at the reflections of this dress bouncing off the magnetosphere in Canada right now….. and they can see me”.
- the good news is that I’m not letting myself get distracted failing to identify theatre-people streaming past me, and getting on with my life of ignorance.
“It’s not about making you smile, per se, it’s about eliciting a response. Check out the out-of-focus lady behind me - I don’t even have to look at her to know I’ve impacted her”
Jason Manford is, I’m told, a comedian.
(edited to add : he was the host for the evening with thanks to EFi Nsterer on facebook!)
“Everybody say Feart-Ahh!!”
“Oh, mighty Ba’al, accept this offering from your unworthy minion….
… damnit, I’m never going to be able to hold this aloft long enough to photograph Tom Hiddleston”
“Of course it’s not for sale : it’s ART!!”
“I’m going to stop you there, not because I want you to continue this story from where you left off once I return, it’s just because I really want to be elsewhere. But peace be with you, good brother. We’ll meet again one day I’m sure.”
My baseline assumption in life is that I’ve never met anyone called Martha Plimpton . And that’s still true, since we didn’t speak at this event, but she WAS in the movie “Goonies” back in the day.
Katherine Parkinson’s imdb.com credits list a dizzying array of TV shows I’ve barely heard of, let alone watched. But that’s on me - I prefer movies to television, which still doesn’t necessarily explain what I’m doing here at the Olivier Awards, which are based around Theatre.
“This is honestly the most formal thing I own. If I was summoned to testify in court tomorrow morning, I’d still be wearing this. Perhaps with different shoes, but that’s about it”.
I feel that even if I knew who this was, on the basis of the dress/cloak/raincoat/poncho/swathe I should also try to identify the anime character.
(edited to add : he’s Turner Prize winning artist Grayson Perry, with thanks to EFi Nsterer on facebook!)
It’s Ken Watanabe!! I’ve never photographed him before, and (oddly, in respect of everything) I do know he’s currently in a theatre production of “The King and I”.
Ken Watanabe’s movie credit’s include being in“The Last Samurai” with Tom Cruise, “Godzilla (2014)” and two Christopher Nolan films : he was Ra’s Al Ghul in “Batman Begins” and he was the guy who hired Leonardo DiCaprio’s team in “Inception”
“Stop laughing, guys. There’s no way I could take a photo like this without posing like this"
“Actually, there’s every chance I’m wearing this dress not just backwards, but upside-down”
The only one of Adrienne Wilson’s imdb credits I’ve actually heard of is for “Orange is the New Black”, but “Assassinauts “ sounds kind of interesting….
It’s Jonathan Hyde! He played the skeevy Bruce Ismay in James Cameron’s ‘Titanic’, the arrogant Warren Westridge in the landmark (?) 1997 creature feature “Anaconda”, the hunter in the original “Jumanji” film with Robin William, was in the first Brendan Frasier movie in the “Mummy” franchise. He was even the butler in the Macaulay Culkin Richie Rich movie! And I’ve never photographed him before today. Good times. Also : Theatre!!!
Arinze Kene is in The Theatre - I’ve photographed him at numerous Evening Standard Awards (which is my substitute for actually going to the theatre), which is why I know this.
David Suchet! He played the role of Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot over 70 episodes spanning a period of nearly 25 years. I haven’t even remained consistent to my own character for that long!
“Crimson Jihad was more of an art movement than a legitimate terror organisation. Though, yes, we did have a couple of nuclear weapons… “
It’s Art Malik !! The third person at this even that I’ve never photographed - he was the villain in the James Cameron movie “True Lies”
“I was in other things, you know”
Theatre people. They’re the least understated people.
“Cigarette in one hand, sharpie in the other. What… you got a problem with that?”
Speaking of… erm… Theatre? It’s Danny Dyer!
“If you wanted me to look cool by smoking, you should have told me….”
Beverley Knight is <checks> a singer.
I think a fun thing you could do with Sophie Okonedo is to hold out DVDs of “After Earth”, “Aeon Flux”, and “Ace Ventura When Nature Calls” and see which one she’ll sign. (Ace Ventura, obviously, because that’s a great movie). Of course, you could hold out a DVD of “Hotel Rwanda”, which she was Oscar-nominated for. Also… who still owns DVDs anyway?
It’s Kelsey Grammer!! He played the character of Dr Frasier Crane for ten years and 203 episodes of “Cheers” from 1984-1993, before playing the same character in “Frasier” for another 263 episodes from 1993-2004. Of course, he was also Sideshow Bob in 21 episodes of The Simpsons across 27 years.
“I’ve been in other things, too….” - including being a voice in a Transformers film, like Ken Watanabe. You know… imdb.com really is a useful resource. Do other people know about it?
It’s Bill Pullman!! I gotta say, for actors who may/may not have anything to do with theatre (as far as I know/care), I am doing very well at photographing people I’ve never photographed before : he was the President in the 1996 classic “Independence Day” and the … well… EX-president in its rather less stellar sequel, made twenty years later. Also : check out the Crocodile movie “Lake Placid” - he’s in that and he’s pretty good….
….. and would it kill you to get some culture and take in a show sometime? London has several theatres, I’m told.
Sadly, in my eagerness to photograph Bill Pullman, I missed Sally Field, considerably shorter than he is yet standing right next to him, until she scurried past.
Fortunately, the Nikon I’m using at this event only needs three shots to get a subject in focus, its autofocus is that good.
Unfortunately, one frame later the blurred head on the right moved left and blocked Sally Field just as she would have been in focus. Argh.
It’s only because I occasionally walk past the Noel Coward Theatre in London that I know Gillian Anderson is currently in <checks online> “All About Eve” with Lily James. Who sadly did not attend the Oliviers. Or, if she did, count me as much sadder.
“I’m going to stop you there, because your story is uninteresting and I’ve got an interview to do. But my assistant will stand in for me and report the details back to me if she deems them interesting enough”
- Gillian Anderson is of course best known for being Scully in the X-Files, but she’s also in my CD collection with the single “Extremis” by “Hal. Feat. Gillian Anderson”… I’m sure the technology exists to still play CDs in this day and age, I’m just not sure how, myself.
Tom Hiddleston used to have the power to ensure any journal I posted featuring his presence would get 5-10x more views than if they simply contained generically good looking people or Oscar winners. I’m not sure he still has that power, but the hairstyle’s great, the focus is commendable, and in the absence of all else : he remains tall and thus easier to photograph than people shorter than he is.
“Wait… they’ve released trailers for Spider-Man : Far From Home even though when we last saw Spider-Man he’d just DIED in an Avengers film whose sequel isn’t out for another few weeks? Did somebody screw up or does Disney just not care anymore??” - Loki’s current status in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is also <checks> deceased.
“Yes, in a manner of speaking I did play Ben Affleck. Or rather, I prefer to think that he played ME”
This is possibly Charlie Cox, who is possibly in the (former?) TV Series ‘Daredevil’.
“The Miami Sound Machine is more or less an iPod at this stage. Or… wait… even that reference is pretty dated right now, I guess….”
In a blow to my claims of being far, FAR too young to remember then 1990s let alone the 1980s, it’s singer Gloria Estefan!!
The carpet is cleared and a car pulls up. And if its occupant doesn’t have a ticket to the event this could all be rather awkward. Though the armed dudes on motorcycles could probably clear things up pretty quickly.
“One would consider grabbing a cider and popcorn if that bar they have is still open?”
It’s Camilla Duchess of Cornwall, sans Prince Charles but with quite the dress-cloak and cheery smile
Suspects she knows what I’m planning, and does not endorse it.
Damn.
So… that was that. Until, uh…. sometime tomorrow(ish) when I find out who actually WON Olivier Awards and I go scurrying to find out whether I actually photographed them accidentally among the heaving throngs of people on the red carpet who haven’t been in movies and who WEREN’T shouted at by dealers in my vicinity.
UPDATE : I’ve now trawled through the approximately 2000 photos I took on the afternoon and had a look for anyone who might have won an Olivier Award on the night. (You’d think the official website might have a pictorial winners gallery, but what it has is a dizzying auto-revolving carousel that you need to manually scroll through one by one and whose names can not be copy-pasted, which somewhat less than helpful..)
“What the hell is a Rugby League theme tune??” I’m fairly certain that this is Kobna Holdbrook-Smith, who won for Best Actor in a Musical (for “Tina Turner”) - and that comment only makes sense if you’re from Australia and probably over 35, so sorry about that.
This might possibly be the dude clutching the Olivier amidst a huge cast group shot for “Come From Away” - the Best New Musical Award on the night. I don’t know his name, but Gloria Estefan was also in the group shot, so that’s something.
Thanks to the pretty lady in the light-coloured dress on the right, I inadvertently happened to photograph Chris Walley, who won the Olivier for Best Actor in a Supporting Role, for “The Lieutenant of Inishmore” - thanks, pretty lady!
The two partially obscured ladies are responsible for Best New Comedy. On the left Tamara Harvey (director)…. and
…. Laura Wade (writer), for “Home I’m Darling”
I believe these are two of the cast of “Flesh and Bone” which won for “Outstanding achievement in affiliate theatre” - and I’m not entirely certain what that award means, but I’m sure their Olivier Award glowers no less menacingly than that of any other category.
My view of the stage is constantly blocked by people taller than me between me and it, but the occasional random shot proves (once again) helpful - I believe this is Matthew Bourne, who won the Olivier for … “Special Award” on the night. I’d like to believe that’s the one where the glowering Olivier Statuette wears a cool cap backwards.
“I’m really not qualified to perform intricate tapestry work at short notice, but okay”
Jonathan Bailey (if this be he) won Best Supporting Actor in A Musical for “Company” on the night.
Monica Dolan (in green at long range) won Best Supporting Actress for her role in “All About Eve”. Meanwhile, at even longer range, the blurry guy in the background *might* be Matthew Lopez who won for Best New Play for “Inheritance” on the night.
A few frames later in the same rapid 10-frame-per-second burst, and the blurry figure in the back may just be Kyle Soller, who won Best Actor for “Inheritance” on the night.
So… that was that. And if I never have to look at another official Oliviers Website with a rotating carousel of sporadically unlabelled winners that occasionally only goes one-direction, it’ll be too soon. Lift your game, Oliviers - you may know theatre, but that’s not how an ART GALLERY works.
Anyway, until next time, which probably won’t be an Avengers Endgame Event in London (unless of course it IS) because Disney can’t be assed to fly more than three or five people from a cast/poster containing about two dozen people to show about 20 minutes of footage from a 3 hour movie to promote their film and invite only their closest friends and a few lucky fans to see it and tweet about it. I already forget what the movie is called - the prior one was two and a half hours long and BORING whenever its tone wasn’t completely bipolar.
Anyway, feel free to follow me (or insult my staggering lack of knowledge about theatre, and/or hatred of Marvel/Disney) on : facebook at premieres.co; or twitter at berndt2_photo.
Previous Oliver Awards Journals: 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, and 2014….. and this year’s goes right into the Archive to join them