London Fashion Week 2018.1

Well... I'm not going to lie : the last couple of days have been several shades of awful, to the point where I missed the Baftas, missed the Red Sparrow Premiere, and turned coughing fits and 16 hour days in bed into kind of an Olympic sport.

And among it all, there was London Fashion Week. I only made it to one day:

 It takes a certain kind of skill (and a brief lull in passing garbage trucks) to create large format environmental fashion photographs in urban environments.

It takes a certain kind of skill (and a brief lull in passing garbage trucks) to create large format environmental fashion photographs in urban environments.

  "Absolute quiet while I try to remember the name for this shade of yellow, please... my designer is gonna kill me...."

"Absolute quiet while I try to remember the name for this shade of yellow, please... my designer is gonna kill me...."

  "Don't let the guy behind me fool you : dual-wielding mobile phones is NOT fashion. What I'm wearing is"

"Don't let the guy behind me fool you : dual-wielding mobile phones is NOT fashion. What I'm wearing is"

  "Hey, lady could you look over here where the camera is? Oh... oh.. I see, you're doing a thing"

"Hey, lady could you look over here where the camera is? Oh... oh.. I see, you're doing a thing"

  "He doesn't talk. He looks enigmatic and he dresses fabulously.... and he doesn't feel a third skill is necessary"

"He doesn't talk. He looks enigmatic and he dresses fabulously.... and he doesn't feel a third skill is necessary"

  "Are naked plastic babies symbolic of anything? Erm... yes of course. How about you take a guess and I'll tell you if you're right"

"Are naked plastic babies symbolic of anything? Erm... yes of course. How about you take a guess and I'll tell you if you're right"

  "I'd love to look directly at your camera, but I'm looking elsewhere for fabulous people I can network with"

"I'd love to look directly at your camera, but I'm looking elsewhere for fabulous people I can network with"

  "Bro, I don't mind you photographing me.... just don't let whitebread on my right spoil the Coolz of this shot, yeah?"  Umm... sorry, Bro.

"Bro, I don't mind you photographing me.... just don't let whitebread on my right spoil the Coolz of this shot, yeah?" Umm... sorry, Bro.

 Ten out of ten for fashion.... three out of ten for wearing it appropriately.

Ten out of ten for fashion.... three out of ten for wearing it appropriately.

  "We're not talking anymore. Not until he stops wearing yellow underneath black plastic"

"We're not talking anymore. Not until he stops wearing yellow underneath black plastic"

  "Sorry, can't talk about how awesome I am... I'm busy tweeting about how awesome I am"

"Sorry, can't talk about how awesome I am... I'm busy tweeting about how awesome I am"

  "You mark my words, once Elon Musk buys this ensemble, every CEO on the planet will start dressing like this"

"You mark my words, once Elon Musk buys this ensemble, every CEO on the planet will start dressing like this"

  "I don't take well to photographers holding things up and shaking them in order to attract eye contact. Why not offer treats? I haven't eaten since last Tuesday"

"I don't take well to photographers holding things up and shaking them in order to attract eye contact. Why not offer treats? I haven't eaten since last Tuesday"

 Not talking anymore. Not since The Thing Happened.

Not talking anymore. Not since The Thing Happened.

  "It takes over half an hour longer every time I go through airport security, but I find it mostly worth it!"

"It takes over half an hour longer every time I go through airport security, but I find it mostly worth it!"

  "This ensemble doesn't work when sitting on a regular chair. But for all other forms of repose it's fantastic"

"This ensemble doesn't work when sitting on a regular chair. But for all other forms of repose it's fantastic"

 SUBTEXT. At London Fashion Week.

SUBTEXT.
At London Fashion Week.

  "Must look ahead into the infinite future and not wonder what those plastic bags are doing and where they're going"

"Must look ahead into the infinite future and not wonder what those plastic bags are doing and where they're going"

  I had a suntan once. I didn't like it.

I had a suntan once. I didn't like it.

  "You could dress warm like the dude in front of me, or you could look awesome like me. And who wouldn't want to look awesome like me?"

"You could dress warm like the dude in front of me, or you could look awesome like me. And who wouldn't want to look awesome like me?"

  "I could interact with it better if I knew what it was, beyond merely "purple" "

"I could interact with it better if I knew what it was, beyond merely "purple" "

  "Black. During fashion week. Lightweights."

"Black. During fashion week. Lightweights."

  "Janice, you know I try to support you in your Fashion thing. But making me responsible for your peripheral vision isn't cool"

"Janice, you know I try to support you in your Fashion thing. But making me responsible for your peripheral vision isn't cool"

  "At first I got pissed at them for ruining a $1000 jacket with their damn scrawls. But it's fashion week, so I'm going to see if I can sell it for $10,000 and then see if I can STILL get them to reimburse me for the jacket"

"At first I got pissed at them for ruining a $1000 jacket with their damn scrawls. But it's fashion week, so I'm going to see if I can sell it for $10,000 and then see if I can STILL get them to reimburse me for the jacket"

  "Don't even look left, Karen. I hear his blog is about premieres, not fashion"

"Don't even look left, Karen. I hear his blog is about premieres, not fashion"

Oh, wait... I did manage to skirt by and take just ONE photo on the Sunday before I was suitably deafened by the asshole meat-is-fur-is-testing-is-murder protesters shouting at security and passersby who, near as I could tell, were wearing wholly synthetic clothing.

 It's making a point about something while protestors are shouting in your ear about unspecified crimes being committed by people who aren't there and therefore aren't listening.

It's making a point about something while protestors are shouting in your ear about unspecified crimes being committed by people who aren't there and therefore aren't listening.

So.... hopefully I've retained and refreshed by fashion credentials until I'm physically stable and upright six months from now to do it properly!

 Traditional gratuitous pigeon shot to end the journal....

Traditional gratuitous pigeon shot to end the journal....

Until next time *air kiss* *air kiss*

Previous London Fashion weeks have included : LFW2017.2 , LFW2017.1 , The Fashion Awards and (I suppose) the alleyway hosting the 2017 Elle Style Awards.