London Fashion Week 2017.2

My history with London Fashion week is long and storied, with my cutting-edge blogging and opinions influencing up to dozens of people around the world who in all likelihood know even less about fashion than I do, and don't care that my accreditation amounts to "I have a camera and I'm taking photos outside the event during lunchtime and sometimes after work".

For 2017.2 (or I think it's officially 2018SS?) (I don't know fashion, I just blog about it) I was gutted to learn that a holiday I'd scheduled would mean that I'd be back with only two days of the five LFW days left to run. And THEN I learned that the Kingsman : The Golden Circle world premiere would take part on one of those days.

So I knew I'd have to get creative...

September 8th : DAY -7 (Berlin, Germany)

We start "London" Fashion "Week" a full week early, as I happen to be in Berlin, and during an irritating rain shower I sought refuge in Berlin Mall, which just happened to have a fashion parade on (and I just happened to have a decent portrait lens on me!)

 Photographing a fashion show on a runway isn't easy - I read once that one ironclad rule is that you're NEVER allowed to show the sole of the shoe of a model, which means timing is somewhat important. And given some leg configurations don't look particularly attractive in a photo, a good shot is somewhat harder to come by....

Photographing a fashion show on a runway isn't easy - I read once that one ironclad rule is that you're NEVER allowed to show the sole of the shoe of a model, which means timing is somewhat important. And given some leg configurations don't look particularly attractive in a photo, a good shot is somewhat harder to come by....

  "It's got nothing to do with what I'm wearing, and everything to do with the stance. Copy the stance, not the style, People" . I'm writing this down. This is good stuff.

"It's got nothing to do with what I'm wearing, and everything to do with the stance. Copy the stance, not the style, People". I'm writing this down. This is good stuff.

  "I'm aware that the hat doesn't quite match. I'm wearing it for a dare."

"I'm aware that the hat doesn't quite match. I'm wearing it for a dare."

 It's what all fashionable lumberjacks, and/or accountants will be wearing in Spring/Summer 2018.

It's what all fashionable lumberjacks, and/or accountants will be wearing in Spring/Summer 2018.

 I'm going to suggest that the branded belt costs about 4x the denim dress, and 2x the price of the sunglasses (but probably still less than the handbag)

I'm going to suggest that the branded belt costs about 4x the denim dress, and 2x the price of the sunglasses (but probably still less than the handbag)

  "Daywear, Nightwear..... I even wore it on a tennis court once. Minus the shoes, obviously"

"Daywear, Nightwear..... I even wore it on a tennis court once. Minus the shoes, obviously"

 The ensemble is very cute, but it's the large LCD screen you'd want trundling behind you with a vague illuminated love-heart that will be tricky to take onto the bus or train to work...

The ensemble is very cute, but it's the large LCD screen you'd want trundling behind you with a vague illuminated love-heart that will be tricky to take onto the bus or train to work...

  "Yeah... well you should see the herd of cats I fought to salvage even this much of the jacket and scarves.... they're not looking much better"

"Yeah... well you should see the herd of cats I fought to salvage even this much of the jacket and scarves.... they're not looking much better"

  "And now we're going to walk out with these items of fashion we've liberated....."

"And now we're going to walk out with these items of fashion we've liberated....."

September 15th : Day 1 (Riga, Latvia)

As London celebrated the start of London Fashion Week, I was still in Riga, Latvia, trying to see if I could find any premieres during Riga International Film Festival (turns out I could) .... but making sure to at least photograph some of the casual / street fashion that might eventually form the avant garde vanguard of a future Baltic design invasion...

 Clothes to observe time pass by.

Clothes to observe time pass by.

  "The Parking sign is part of the ensemble. Don't think you can look anywhere near as cool if you leave it at home..."

"The Parking sign is part of the ensemble. Don't think you can look anywhere near as cool if you leave it at home..."

 Also a good representation in metaphor of what I look like everytime Apple announce yet another new (yawn) iPhone.

Also a good representation in metaphor of what I look like everytime Apple announce yet another new (yawn) iPhone.

 Every straight stretch of pavement is a catwalk waiting to happen.

Every straight stretch of pavement is a catwalk waiting to happen.

September 16th : Day 2 (Riga, Latvia)

 Good news : well-dressed monuments will be wearing sleeveless this coming season.

Good news : well-dressed monuments will be wearing sleeveless this coming season.

  "What do you mean "nice fashion" - these are my clothes! What else would I possibly wear??"

"What do you mean "nice fashion" - these are my clothes! What else would I possibly wear??"

 Not much for fashion, but the Central Station underpass in Riga, Latvia, makes for quite a decent catwalk.

Not much for fashion, but the Central Station underpass in Riga, Latvia, makes for quite a decent catwalk.

September 17th : Day 3 (Riga, Latvia)

  "Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads... just convenient charging places that will dispense electricity for free...."

"Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads... just convenient charging places that will dispense electricity for free...."

  "What am I doing? I'm double-bagging, people! Trust me, everyone's going to be doing this..."

"What am I doing? I'm double-bagging, people! Trust me, everyone's going to be doing this..."

September 18th : Day 4 (London)

At last! I've made it to London before London Fashion Week ends. However, today I was unable to attend (outside) any events as there was a World Premiere for "Kingsman : The Golden Circle" that took precedence. This website IS called "premieres.co" for a reason.

 Good (Bad?) News : North Korea's Kim Jong-Un's hairstyle is starting to make inroads in The Decadent West.

Good (Bad?) News : North Korea's Kim Jong-Un's hairstyle is starting to make inroads in The Decadent West.

  "For the last time, young man, I am NOT affiliated with London Fashion Week in ANY way. I look this awesome EVERY DAY!"

"For the last time, young man, I am NOT affiliated with London Fashion Week in ANY way. I look this awesome EVERY DAY!"

 Looks like we'll all be wanting to crochet our own sneakers next season. Good to know.  (Spotted at the Kingsman : The Golden Circle premiere)

Looks like we'll all be wanting to crochet our own sneakers next season. Good to know. (Spotted at the Kingsman : The Golden Circle premiere)

September 19th : Day 5 (London)

And so FINALLY I make it to London Fashion Week - on the last day, which is also typically the quietest and least zany day. Gosh Darnit.

  "Obviously we put a shot of vodka into every Espresso. This is London Fashion Week (darling)"

"Obviously we put a shot of vodka into every Espresso. This is London Fashion Week (darling)"

 Probably a famous fashion designer. (On a potentially racist note, is it wrong that during London Fashion Week I take disproportionate numbers of photos of Asian people on the assumption that they're the latest thing in cutting edge fashion?)

Probably a famous fashion designer. (On a potentially racist note, is it wrong that during London Fashion Week I take disproportionate numbers of photos of Asian people on the assumption that they're the latest thing in cutting edge fashion?)

 I was.... taking a photo of that traffic cone. It's Ironic (,baby). Just like good fashion.

I was.... taking a photo of that traffic cone. It's Ironic (,baby). Just like good fashion.

 I was ... photographing that backdrop. It's both heavily ironic and quite mainstream, and that's a tricky balance to get right.

I was ... photographing that backdrop. It's both heavily ironic and quite mainstream, and that's a tricky balance to get right.

  "We're calling it "Health and Safety Chic". We're pretty sure it'll catch on. The boots are fabulous, after all"

"We're calling it "Health and Safety Chic". We're pretty sure it'll catch on. The boots are fabulous, after all"

 Good news from London Fashion Week. Smoking? It's still cool. But it's not enough to just smoke : you have to exhale. Like.... properly.

Good news from London Fashion Week. Smoking? It's still cool. But it's not enough to just smoke : you have to exhale. Like.... properly.

  "Of course I'm double-bagging, dear. Everyone's doing it" . I know - I saw it done in Latvia three days ago when the fad was born.

"Of course I'm double-bagging, dear. Everyone's doing it". I know - I saw it done in Latvia three days ago when the fad was born.

  "Wait.. is this a mugging or a fashion shoot?" "Well.... ask yourself if it has to be just one or the other, baby"

"Wait.. is this a mugging or a fashion shoot?"
"Well.... ask yourself if it has to be just one or the other, baby"

 Side note : I actually asked this model if I could photograph her  (I rarely do : I prefer candid photography, but this candid pose was too coincidentally cool to take candidly)

Side note : I actually asked this model if I could photograph her (I rarely do : I prefer candid photography, but this candid pose was too coincidentally cool to take candidly)

  "You mark my words, Jeremy : Apple will be selling special gloves for iPhones by the end of the week"

"You mark my words, Jeremy : Apple will be selling special gloves for iPhones by the end of the week"

  "Yes, I'm literally getting dressed on the Street. Is that perchance STILL not street enough for you??"

"Yes, I'm literally getting dressed on the Street. Is that perchance STILL not street enough for you??"

 It's a shoe-off, people. It's a shoe-off. I'm going to retreat to a safe distance from the carnage set to ensue...

It's a shoe-off, people.
It's a shoe-off.
I'm going to retreat to a safe distance from the carnage set to ensue...

  "I'm a millennial. I don't even know what this box I'm standing in is meant to be used for...."

"I'm a millennial. I don't even know what this box I'm standing in is meant to be used for...."

  "I don't give a crap who you're wearing, Darling. I want YOU to ask ME who I'M wearing."

"I don't give a crap who you're wearing, Darling. I want YOU to ask ME who I'M wearing."

So... that was that. I feel I have redeemed myself and reclaimed the authority to speak, write and blog about all aspects of fashion for at least another six months, as I have over the course of numerous London Fashion Week posts for 2010.1 , 2012.1 , 2013.1 and 2013.2 , 2014.1 , 2015.1 , 2016.1 and 2016.2, and most recently prior to this 2017.1

Needless to say, if you ever want me to photograph your fashion show (hey... you might be desperate.... it could happen), just let me know via the usual channels. In the meantime, yes, I'll be putting it into the Archive of Premieres (in the Fashion section).

PS. If you ever want to know when I post one of these journals (ie. six monthly in the case of fashion, but considerably more frequently for premieres), feel free to follow me on Twitter at berndt2_photo, or on facebook at premieresdotco.

Until next time (, Darling) *Air-Kiss* *Air-Kiss*