The 2018 Evening Standard Theatre Awards

November 18th, 2018.

Every year for the past few years, I’ve attended the Olivier Awards and had to admit that as I don’t go to the theatre, I have a lot of difficulty identifying many of the most talented thespians treading various boards around London. But it’s only once a year, so I figure I can handle the embarrassment.

Then, about six months later, I remember the Evening Standard Awards (2015, 2016, 2017…) , and I get to do it all over again, except this time in considerably colder weather.

Of course I love it. Here’s how it went down:

 It’s a slightly different setup this year : carpet on the road, and a protective marquee for stars to be photographed under. Sadly, your good friend and mine DJ Impact was not called upon to provide warmup duties at this event (between you and me, I think the Great Unwashed are at best tolerated at the roadside of this event)

It’s a slightly different setup this year : carpet on the road, and a protective marquee for stars to be photographed under. Sadly, your good friend and mine DJ Impact was not called upon to provide warmup duties at this event (between you and me, I think the Great Unwashed are at best tolerated at the roadside of this event)

 We start the evening’s proceedings off in the traditional, time-honoured way : our first guest has arrived, and I have no idea who he is.

We start the evening’s proceedings off in the traditional, time-honoured way : our first guest has arrived, and I have no idea who he is.

 In much better news for my capacity to appear cultured, the mighty Wireimage.com has uploaded its tagged photos from the evening, so I can state beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is Rona Morison … and state with equally fervent certainty that I sadly have no idea who she is.

In much better news for my capacity to appear cultured, the mighty Wireimage.com has uploaded its tagged photos from the evening, so I can state beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is Rona Morison … and state with equally fervent certainty that I sadly have no idea who she is.

 Good news : I actually DO know who Arinze Kene is and not just because I’ve photographed him at a previous Evening Standard Theatre Awards : No, I’ve also photographed him at a premiere - the BFI Flare    premiere for the movie “The Pass”

Good news : I actually DO know who Arinze Kene is and not just because I’ve photographed him at a previous Evening Standard Theatre Awards : No, I’ve also photographed him at a premiere - the BFI Flare premiere for the movie “The Pass”

  “Tried smiling once. Didn’t like it”

“Tried smiling once. Didn’t like it”

  “I’m sorry, I have no recollection of having been in a Marvel, Star Wars or Hunger Games. You’ve probably mistaken me for one of those Hemsworths…”

“I’m sorry, I have no recollection of having been in a Marvel, Star Wars or Hunger Games. You’ve probably mistaken me for one of those Hemsworths…”

 Good news : Disney might have had a barbed-wire, robot-sentry gun patroled and mine-field strewn    “European” premiere for Black Panther    to which the public were wholly unwelcome… but between this event and the    2018 GQ Awards   , I’ve now photographed 3 of the cast : this is Letitia Wright who plays the 16 year old head scientist / 16 year old head surgeon of the kingdom Wakanda.

Good news : Disney might have had a barbed-wire, robot-sentry gun patroled and mine-field strewn “European” premiere for Black Panther to which the public were wholly unwelcome… but between this event and the 2018 GQ Awards, I’ve now photographed 3 of the cast : this is Letitia Wright who plays the 16 year old head scientist / 16 year old head surgeon of the kingdom Wakanda.

  “Nah… I think I’ve got it. As a surgeon / scientist the skills required to balance on a skateboard are fairly fundamental”

“Nah… I think I’ve got it. As a surgeon / scientist the skills required to balance on a skateboard are fairly fundamental”

  “What do you mean, “you’ve finally got me” ? Is that meant to be a good thing, or just something you kids just say?”  - I’d actually never photographed actress Fiona Shaw - arguably best known for playing Petunia Dursley in the Harry Potter Saga (she played Harry’s aunt) - she was in (but not at the premiere of)    the movie Colette   .

“What do you mean, “you’ve finally got me” ? Is that meant to be a good thing, or just something you kids just say?” - I’d actually never photographed actress Fiona Shaw - arguably best known for playing Petunia Dursley in the Harry Potter Saga (she played Harry’s aunt) - she was in (but not at the premiere of) the movie Colette.

  “You’ll have to forgive me. I’ve just been “finally got” and I’m still not sure what to make of that”

“You’ll have to forgive me. I’ve just been “finally got” and I’m still not sure what to make of that”

  “You appear to have tickets, no interest in theatre, or any idea where you actually are. What makes you think we’ll let you into this event?” ”The way I’m dressed, the way I’m casually smoking this cigarette, and the way I’m calling you Babes, obviously (Babes)…”

“You appear to have tickets, no interest in theatre, or any idea where you actually are. What makes you think we’ll let you into this event?”
”The way I’m dressed, the way I’m casually smoking this cigarette, and the way I’m calling you Babes, obviously (Babes)…”

  “Just because I was in that movie doesn’t mean I’m about to sign autographs…”  - Anna Wintour might be best known as a longtime editor of Vogue, but her imdb credits include Oceans 8 and Zoolander 2.

“Just because I was in that movie doesn’t mean I’m about to sign autographs…” - Anna Wintour might be best known as a longtime editor of Vogue, but her imdb credits include Oceans 8 and Zoolander 2.

  “Gotta be honest, other than the obvious genius among you, and maybe the dude wearing the white hoodie under a black jacket, I strongly doubt ANY of you have anything to do with the world of fashion.” . I was wearing a grey hoodie under a leather jacket. It was so 2005….

“Gotta be honest, other than the obvious genius among you, and maybe the dude wearing the white hoodie under a black jacket, I strongly doubt ANY of you have anything to do with the world of fashion.”. I was wearing a grey hoodie under a leather jacket. It was so 2005….

  “Just so long as your opinions on politics are less extreme than your opinions on theatre we might get along….”  Personally, my opinions on either of those are less extreme than my views on hordes of perpetually texting douchebag millennials crowding the Orders counter of my local cafe. They need to be shot.

“Just so long as your opinions on politics are less extreme than your opinions on theatre we might get along….” Personally, my opinions on either of those are less extreme than my views on hordes of perpetually texting douchebag millennials crowding the Orders counter of my local cafe. They need to be shot.

 I don’t know who this is, but the dealers were screaming out “STEVEN!!!” (possibly “STEPHEN!!!”) and I rescued a shot of him from full silhouette just to see how much shadow detail can be retrieved from the Nikon. Turns out its a lot. I’m still not sure who he is, though.

I don’t know who this is, but the dealers were screaming out “STEVEN!!!” (possibly “STEPHEN!!!”) and I rescued a shot of him from full silhouette just to see how much shadow detail can be retrieved from the Nikon. Turns out its a lot. I’m still not sure who he is, though.

  “As you can see, I forgot my ticket” . I tried that on a ticket inspector on my train network once. But I was not attired quite like this.

“As you can see, I forgot my ticket”. I tried that on a ticket inspector on my train network once. But I was not attired quite like this.

  “That’s not really the movie I want to be remembered for, but okay…”  - along with having a role in the second (original) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, I’ve photographed Laura Linney only once - at    the premiere of Mr Holmes.

“That’s not really the movie I want to be remembered for, but okay…” - along with having a role in the second (original) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, I’ve photographed Laura Linney only once - at the premiere of Mr Holmes.

 I don’t know who ANY of these people (excepting for now the lady in the blue dress who I ‘met’ two photos ago) but you have to admit photographing them in bulk is much more efficient than doing so individually.

I don’t know who ANY of these people (excepting for now the lady in the blue dress who I ‘met’ two photos ago) but you have to admit photographing them in bulk is much more efficient than doing so individually.

  “But there’s got to be some kind of Hypothermia Rule where you can’t forbid me entry if I’m dressed like this”.  I meanwhile am wearing approximately four layers of clothing, and a ‘Rock Jock <TM>” lined-beanie that some unscrupulous dude off ebay sold as being Thinsulate and then defended on the grounds of “same thing, just as warm”. I have marginally less hair on my head than Rosie Day, so this is important.

“But there’s got to be some kind of Hypothermia Rule where you can’t forbid me entry if I’m dressed like this”. I meanwhile am wearing approximately four layers of clothing, and a ‘Rock Jock <TM>” lined-beanie that some unscrupulous dude off ebay sold as being Thinsulate and then defended on the grounds of “same thing, just as warm”. I have marginally less hair on my head than Rosie Day, so this is important.

 I don’t know who this is, but the autograph dealers near me gave him the same surname as a leading brand of alcoholic spirit. I don’t drink tequila, but it’s still a cool man-bun you’ve got, Sir.

I don’t know who this is, but the autograph dealers near me gave him the same surname as a leading brand of alcoholic spirit. I don’t drink tequila, but it’s still a cool man-bun you’ve got, Sir.

  “I’m torn between coming over there in spite of or because of the disgust of my date… or not”.  I also don’t know who this is, and his date’s attitude to autograph dealers approximates mine, however not so much tonight because the dealers around me/us have a pretty good ability to identify famous people in theatre that I personally lack.

“I’m torn between coming over there in spite of or because of the disgust of my date… or not”. I also don’t know who this is, and his date’s attitude to autograph dealers approximates mine, however not so much tonight because the dealers around me/us have a pretty good ability to identify famous people in theatre that I personally lack.

 It’s Ian McKellen!! He’s very cool (very cool). And while I also have a warm grey scarf that I occasionally wear, I’m sadly not doing so tonight.

It’s Ian McKellen!! He’s very cool (very cool). And while I also have a warm grey scarf that I occasionally wear, I’m sadly not doing so tonight.

  “You gotta check out this guy’s website. It’s frikkin’ awesome” . You just gotta straighten that finger slightly and point it two people to the left…. and you’re absolutely right Mr McKellen!!

“You gotta check out this guy’s website. It’s frikkin’ awesome”. You just gotta straighten that finger slightly and point it two people to the left…. and you’re absolutely right Mr McKellen!!

 There is one person attending this event whose photo I will post no matter how blurry it is, and that’s Jenna Coleman. No reason… except the obvious, I suppose.

There is one person attending this event whose photo I will post no matter how blurry it is, and that’s Jenna Coleman. No reason… except the obvious, I suppose.

  “Yeah, but everyone on the other side of my arm is going to treat you like you’re just some insanely good-looking person rather than a serious actress….. oh, wait. You understand this and are flattered by this. Very well…. but the consequences are entirely on you”

“Yeah, but everyone on the other side of my arm is going to treat you like you’re just some insanely good-looking person rather than a serious actress….. oh, wait. You understand this and are flattered by this. Very well…. but the consequences are entirely on you”

 Jenna Coleman and I share a moment. The Nikon at 10fps punctuates it somewhat crudely and noisily, but I think it’s okay. And I’m sure it’ll take her lawyers ages to get in contact about any “moment” I’ve implied we may or may not have shared.

Jenna Coleman and I share a moment. The Nikon at 10fps punctuates it somewhat crudely and noisily, but I think it’s okay. And I’m sure it’ll take her lawyers ages to get in contact about any “moment” I’ve implied we may or may not have shared.

  “The guy I like kinda has less hair on his head than you…”  - hey, if you want me to stop posting Jenna Coleman pictures, just bang on my door in the next ten seconds. Missed your chance. Also, please don’t tell her boyfriend I’m writing any of this. I’m almost certain he’s taller, and tougher than I am.

“The guy I like kinda has less hair on his head than you…” - hey, if you want me to stop posting Jenna Coleman pictures, just bang on my door in the next ten seconds. Missed your chance. Also, please don’t tell her boyfriend I’m writing any of this. I’m almost certain he’s taller, and tougher than I am.

  “Queen Victoria was here? When - just now?”  - it’s Claire Foy - she played Queen Elizabeth II in both    Season 1    and    Season 2    of “The Crown” while Jenna Coleman played Queen Victoria in “Victoria”

“Queen Victoria was here? When - just now?” - it’s Claire Foy - she played Queen Elizabeth II in both Season 1 and Season 2 of “The Crown” while Jenna Coleman played Queen Victoria in “Victoria”

  “You think the rictus of pain that’s causing me to bare my teeth due to the insane cold is a friendly smile? Well… as long as it makes half of the two of us happy, feel free to think that.”

“You think the rictus of pain that’s causing me to bare my teeth due to the insane cold is a friendly smile? Well… as long as it makes half of the two of us happy, feel free to think that.”

  “I found this precise sliver of light to stand in to express my disapproval and you think it’s ACCIDENTAL? You’ve just insulted everything I stand for as an actress, Bob” ”….” ”And that you’ve found a spot of shadow to stand in speaks highly for you as an actor, and I respect that even though I’m still mad”

“I found this precise sliver of light to stand in to express my disapproval and you think it’s ACCIDENTAL? You’ve just insulted everything I stand for as an actress, Bob”
”….”
”And that you’ve found a spot of shadow to stand in speaks highly for you as an actor, and I respect that even though I’m still mad”

  “I’d rather sign Dr Who and Christopher Robin stuff than… those two DVDs…”-  wow. Sophie Okonedo was also in Aeon Flux with Charlize Theron AND After Earth with Will/Jaden Smith AND has an acting career. (She was also in the excellent “the slap”)

“I’d rather sign Dr Who and Christopher Robin stuff than… those two DVDs…”- wow. Sophie Okonedo was also in Aeon Flux with Charlize Theron AND After Earth with Will/Jaden Smith AND has an acting career. (She was also in the excellent “the slap”)

  “Okay, I’ll *   initial   * but not sign your After Earth DVD….. but only because you asked nicely AND claim to be holding one of my cats hostage.”

“Okay, I’ll *initial* but not sign your After Earth DVD….. but only because you asked nicely AND claim to be holding one of my cats hostage.”

  “I like this backdrop. I assume the bees I’m seeing are specially trained to be non-aggressive?”

“I like this backdrop. I assume the bees I’m seeing are specially trained to be non-aggressive?”

  “If you could just stop calling me “Jupiter Ascending’s Douglas Booth” and instead refer to me as “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’ Douglas Booth” i’m sure both of us will be a lot happier. Or at least I will be”

“If you could just stop calling me “Jupiter Ascending’s Douglas Booth” and instead refer to me as “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’ Douglas Booth” i’m sure both of us will be a lot happier. Or at least I will be”

  “You don’t know who I am? Well… that’s fine… but why aren’t you furiously googling my image like the guy behind me is - don’t you care?”

“You don’t know who I am? Well… that’s fine… but why aren’t you furiously googling my image like the guy behind me is - don’t you care?”

  “No I don’t want to take you on in a staring contest, because I just BEAT you in the staring contest you didn’t even know we were having but i just won”  - Joely Richardson has been in (checks imdb) a lot of movies.    Snowden   ,    Anonymous   , and    The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo    among them.

“No I don’t want to take you on in a staring contest, because I just BEAT you in the staring contest you didn’t even know we were having but i just won” - Joely Richardson has been in (checks imdb) a lot of movies. Snowden, Anonymous, and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo among them.

 While I don’t know who it is, I’m almost 75% certain I’ve photographed him before, with almost exactly this expression, at another premiere. I’d wake my website’s archivist and tell them to get on that, but they appear to be me and I’m busy typing. Damn.

While I don’t know who it is, I’m almost 75% certain I’ve photographed him before, with almost exactly this expression, at another premiere. I’d wake my website’s archivist and tell them to get on that, but they appear to be me and I’m busy typing. Damn.

  “You remember me from that movie? Which one? There’ve kind of been a lot”  - Vanessa Redgrave’s career stretches back to … the NINETEEN FIFTIES. There’s an Oscar there, too.

“You remember me from that movie? Which one? There’ve kind of been a lot” - Vanessa Redgrave’s career stretches back to … the NINETEEN FIFTIES. There’s an Oscar there, too.

  “Hi. Sorry, can’t come closer. The earrings are contagious, nothing at all to do with the warmth and free canapes inside the event… like…. AT ALL”

“Hi. Sorry, can’t come closer. The earrings are contagious, nothing at all to do with the warmth and free canapes inside the event… like…. AT ALL”

  “I’m taking the fast lane in suckas…”  - Dame Shirley Bassey was one of only a few people who opted to enter the venue by the path that DIDN’T involve posing for the Paparazzi.

“I’m taking the fast lane in suckas…” - Dame Shirley Bassey was one of only a few people who opted to enter the venue by the path that DIDN’T involve posing for the Paparazzi.

  “Seriously? And are you still hounding Tobey to sign that stuff too?”  - the previous incarnation of Spider-Man, Andrew Garfield has arrived. He won an award at last year’s ceremony, and was Oscar-nominated for his performance in “Hacksaw Ridge”.

“Seriously? And are you still hounding Tobey to sign that stuff too?” - the previous incarnation of Spider-Man, Andrew Garfield has arrived. He won an award at last year’s ceremony, and was Oscar-nominated for his performance in “Hacksaw Ridge”.

  “I’m going for the ominous half-light, but you’ve gone full shadow. I’m kind of regretting my choice right now, Stan….”

“I’m going for the ominous half-light, but you’ve gone full shadow. I’m kind of regretting my choice right now, Stan….”

  “I’m really not interested in your travel brochures, dude”  - it’s Ralph Fiennes! Perhaps still best known as Voldemort in the Harry Potter saga, I last photographed him at this year’s BFI London Film Festival, where he directed    “The White Crow”

“I’m really not interested in your travel brochures, dude” - it’s Ralph Fiennes! Perhaps still best known as Voldemort in the Harry Potter saga, I last photographed him at this year’s BFI London Film Festival, where he directed “The White Crow”

  “Not exactly the camouflage backdrop I was hoping for, but it does smell nice, so thank you”

“Not exactly the camouflage backdrop I was hoping for, but it does smell nice, so thank you”

  “You’re wearing a hoodie and want me to come over there and sign? Let me guess… at BEST you’re wearing Lynx Africa deodourant….”  - Christian Louboutin is a famed fashion designer. I believe his are the high heel shoes that have a red base underneath.

“You’re wearing a hoodie and want me to come over there and sign? Let me guess… at BEST you’re wearing Lynx Africa deodourant….” - Christian Louboutin is a famed fashion designer. I believe his are the high heel shoes that have a red base underneath.

  “And you intend to SELL the autograph I’m about to provide? I’m… well, I’m hurt to learn that”  (edited to add : Jessica Barden)

“And you intend to SELL the autograph I’m about to provide? I’m… well, I’m hurt to learn that”
(edited to add : Jessica Barden)

  “I think I’d rather stand here, either looking indifferent, imperious, or if absolutely necessary too frightened to come over there and sign…”  -one of this evening’s hosts - actor/director Idris Elba. I last photographed him at his    directorial debut “Yardie”    earlier this year.

“I think I’d rather stand here, either looking indifferent, imperious, or if absolutely necessary too frightened to come over there and sign…” -one of this evening’s hosts - actor/director Idris Elba. I last photographed him at his directorial debut “Yardie” earlier this year.

  “Well… sure, that’s a good movie. But I wasn’t in it”  (edited to add : Ophelia Lovibond)

“Well… sure, that’s a good movie. But I wasn’t in it” (edited to add : Ophelia Lovibond)

  “it’s going to take more than a wristband to stop me, lady”  - it’s hard to believe that the last time I photographed Lord Andrew Lloyd-Webber he was seated in a cherry picker while James Corden, dressed as a cat, danced on the road in front of Fleet Street traffic. Harder to believe I didn’t do a whole journal entry around it, or tell my therapist about it come to think of it.

“it’s going to take more than a wristband to stop me, lady” - it’s hard to believe that the last time I photographed Lord Andrew Lloyd-Webber he was seated in a cherry picker while James Corden, dressed as a cat, danced on the road in front of Fleet Street traffic. Harder to believe I didn’t do a whole journal entry around it, or tell my therapist about it come to think of it.

 I don’t know who this is, but the pose is definitely Ace, as kids in Australia in the late 1980s used to say. I’m bringing it back. Please tell me I’m the first to try to bring it back….

I don’t know who this is, but the pose is definitely Ace, as kids in Australia in the late 1980s used to say. I’m bringing it back. Please tell me I’m the first to try to bring it back….

 I don’t know who this is but I took a gamble and decided the look on her face meant it was more dangerous NOT to photograph her than photograph her.

I don’t know who this is but I took a gamble and decided the look on her face meant it was more dangerous NOT to photograph her than photograph her.

  “I’m not going over there to sign, I’m going over there for vengeance” ”But there’ll be witnesses!” ”I’m counting on it”  Ellie Bamber is possibly best known for being in    Tom Ford’s “Nocturnal Animals”   … I think?

“I’m not going over there to sign, I’m going over there for vengeance”
”But there’ll be witnesses!”
”I’m counting on it”

Ellie Bamber is possibly best known for being in Tom Ford’s “Nocturnal Animals”… I think?

  “Take your time. I’ve lost all feeling in my legs already….”

“Take your time. I’ve lost all feeling in my legs already….”

 Although she’s pretty, I’m more inclined to think that Suki Waterhouse is a franchise rather than a specific individual person : she looks different every time I photograph her (eg.    Pride &amp; Prejudice &amp; Zombies   ,    Love Rosie   …)

Although she’s pretty, I’m more inclined to think that Suki Waterhouse is a franchise rather than a specific individual person : she looks different every time I photograph her (eg. Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, Love Rosie…)

  “She’s in White and I’m in Black…. so unless one of you is wearing grey, or blue, or grey and blue we’re definitely the most stylish ones here”  - it’s (designer) Stella McCartney!

“She’s in White and I’m in Black…. so unless one of you is wearing grey, or blue, or grey and blue we’re definitely the most stylish ones here” - it’s (designer) Stella McCartney!

  “Hey, weren’t you in that movie that launched and buried the Dark Universe Franchise?” ”I was in it in the sense that the sky was in it, and so was the ground, and so was ENGLAND”  Annabelle Walls was indeed in the Tom Cruise movie “The Mummy”. It had a decent soundtrack.. but that’s possibly about it.

“Hey, weren’t you in that movie that launched and buried the Dark Universe Franchise?”
”I was in it in the sense that the sky was in it, and so was the ground, and so was ENGLAND”

Annabelle Walls was indeed in the Tom Cruise movie “The Mummy”. It had a decent soundtrack.. but that’s possibly about it.

 When you take a photo like this, you can delete it, you can bury it, you can decide not to post it… or you can just kind of upload it and suggest that getting on the bad side (or possibly very GOOD side) of Stella McCartney might be risky.

When you take a photo like this, you can delete it, you can bury it, you can decide not to post it… or you can just kind of upload it and suggest that getting on the bad side (or possibly very GOOD side) of Stella McCartney might be risky.

 I don’t know who this is, but one of the autograph dealers wished him good luck on the night, so perhaps he’s an actor, UFC fighter, or just a stylishly dressed member of the catering staff. It’s hard to say.. .I’m not good with cynicism.

I don’t know who this is, but one of the autograph dealers wished him good luck on the night, so perhaps he’s an actor, UFC fighter, or just a stylishly dressed member of the catering staff. It’s hard to say.. .I’m not good with cynicism.

 “We had to do things to the car to make the outfit fit… I don’t regret it for a moment” - the last arrival I photographed before charging to the nearest tube : Rita Ora.

“We had to do things to the car to make the outfit fit… I don’t regret it for a moment” - the last arrival I photographed before charging to the nearest tube : Rita Ora.

So… that was that. I can’t wait to come back tomorrow and add to this journal, inserting all the winners and making it look like I knew who they were.

Until then!

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London Fashion Week 2018.2 (SS2019)

OMG it’s that time of year again already. I guess I’d better put on my best Lowes T-Shirt and Black Primark Hoodie, nonconfrontational Pentax camera, and head down to (the streets outside) London Fashion Week’s monolithically closed headquarters building…. and see what’s what among the people dying to be seen, and the people dying to see them.

Here’s how it went down.

Day 1. Friday, 14th September 2018.

  “…. I wonder what’s going on, and why those people are dressed so strangely…..?”  Good question on ANY day of the week. But this week perhaps even more so.

“…. I wonder what’s going on, and why those people are dressed so strangely…..?” Good question on ANY day of the week. But this week perhaps even more so.

  “Ma’am, I’ve been camped out on this precise corner of The Strand since yesterday because it’s the prime spot to photograph removalist trucks driving by. So I don’t care what you’re wearing… GET OUT OF MY WAY!”

“Ma’am, I’ve been camped out on this precise corner of The Strand since yesterday because it’s the prime spot to photograph removalist trucks driving by. So I don’t care what you’re wearing… GET OUT OF MY WAY!”

  “Nah, bro. I totally dig your ‘art’. Doesn’t intimidate me one bit”  By the way, for those of you running your own sweatshop operations at home, that head-covering the guy is wearing goes ALL the way around the head. I did not see any evidence of eye-holes.

“Nah, bro. I totally dig your ‘art’. Doesn’t intimidate me one bit”
By the way, for those of you running your own sweatshop operations at home, that head-covering the guy is wearing goes ALL the way around the head. I did not see any evidence of eye-holes.

  “No, you see when you hashtag something, it’s actually a symbol “#”. In other words, you don’t have to write the full word every time. At least I don’t think so…”  Damn. I think that’s where I’ve been going wrong.

“No, you see when you hashtag something, it’s actually a symbol “#”. In other words, you don’t have to write the full word every time. At least I don’t think so…” Damn. I think that’s where I’ve been going wrong.

 You have to respect this guy’s commitment to his Art. He’s found the one spot that the light perfectly catches, and is sitting there (and only there) for somebody to photograph him. I’d point out that where he’s sitting is at Somerset House and LFW isn’t actually AT Somerset House anymore… but I assume that’s also part of the ethos of his Art.

You have to respect this guy’s commitment to his Art. He’s found the one spot that the light perfectly catches, and is sitting there (and only there) for somebody to photograph him. I’d point out that where he’s sitting is at Somerset House and LFW isn’t actually AT Somerset House anymore… but I assume that’s also part of the ethos of his Art.

  “Stop that coffee cup : it’s rolling away, and it’s the key to this whole Shoot!!”

“Stop that coffee cup : it’s rolling away, and it’s the key to this whole Shoot!!”

 I took this photo…. and now I’m looking at it and realising that there’s not much that can be said about this photo beyond that.

I took this photo…. and now I’m looking at it and realising that there’s not much that can be said about this photo beyond that.

 “Yellow!! Now why didn’t  *I*  think of that??”

“Yellow!! Now why didn’t *I* think of that??”

 I’m not ready to stick fake pearls on my face in the name of fashion…. but I gotta be honest, right now I’m totally willing to hang around people who are.

I’m not ready to stick fake pearls on my face in the name of fashion…. but I gotta be honest, right now I’m totally willing to hang around people who are.

  “Lenny? The fake Aged Harry Potter getup isn’t working. We’re going to have to go to plan C”

“Lenny? The fake Aged Harry Potter getup isn’t working. We’re going to have to go to plan C”

  “He’s the one with the invite. I’m just responsible for getting him To and From”

“He’s the one with the invite. I’m just responsible for getting him To and From”

 I don’t want to besmirch the talents of Britain’s modelling talent, but of the three people in this photo, I gotta say the guy in the brown shirt only has the second-strongest pose.

I don’t want to besmirch the talents of Britain’s modelling talent, but of the three people in this photo, I gotta say the guy in the brown shirt only has the second-strongest pose.

 …. I actually kind of like this photo. And this model.

…. I actually kind of like this photo. And this model.

Day 2. Saturday, 15th September 2018.

The challenge of photographing outside London Fashion Week on the weekend isn’t so much the photography as it is trying to avoid the a55ho1e fur-is-murder-so-is-meat-vote-veganism-tofu-lives-matter protesters. (And as always, a clarification : I don’t object to the message or the morality, I specifically dislike the protesters).

  “The price of the ensemble I’m wearing is quite reasonable, and if you were to remove the street art behind me carefully enough, its sale would more than pay for it”

“The price of the ensemble I’m wearing is quite reasonable, and if you were to remove the street art behind me carefully enough, its sale would more than pay for it”

  “Every time I dress this nicely, everyone assumes I stand here to be photographed when all I want to do is get the bus home….”

“Every time I dress this nicely, everyone assumes I stand here to be photographed when all I want to do is get the bus home….”

  “This jacket only looks like fur… do we think the protesters will be able to tell the difference?”

“This jacket only looks like fur… do we think the protesters will be able to tell the difference?”

 I’m almost afraid to walk around and see what’s on the other side…

I’m almost afraid to walk around and see what’s on the other side…

  “The wicked witch can have ‘em if she can untie ‘em…”

“The wicked witch can have ‘em if she can untie ‘em…”

  “He says if he’s a Pentax shooter, the autofocus means he qualifies… does that work for you?”

“He says if he’s a Pentax shooter, the autofocus means he qualifies… does that work for you?”

  “Admit it. You only want to photograph me because I’m young and pretty” ”Well… yeah.” ”Cool. I just wanted you to admit it”

“Admit it. You only want to photograph me because I’m young and pretty”
”Well… yeah.”
”Cool. I just wanted you to admit it”

  “I haven’t eaten since last Tuesday. Was that sound somebody opening a packet of diet popcorn?”

“I haven’t eaten since last Tuesday. Was that sound somebody opening a packet of diet popcorn?”

  “Babe…is this a Marriage Proposal??” ”No, I just found that really cool cat video on youtube I was telling you about. Also… wait, what??”

“Babe…is this a Marriage Proposal??”
”No, I just found that really cool cat video on youtube I was telling you about. Also… wait, what??”

  “I’m going by ‘Ronda McDonald’ until the legal case clears….”

“I’m going by ‘Ronda McDonald’ until the legal case clears….”

  “Sorry, bro. You can only buy the whole ensemble… I ain’t selling components. Hope you understand”.  I guess that answers that question.

“Sorry, bro. You can only buy the whole ensemble… I ain’t selling components. Hope you understand”. I guess that answers that question.

  “Am following your instructions and I can certainly feel it realigning my spine into a newer, more fashionable shape. Chat soon…”

“Am following your instructions and I can certainly feel it realigning my spine into a newer, more fashionable shape. Chat soon…”

  “And do you dab each spine with poison by hand, or do you get a machine to do it?”

“And do you dab each spine with poison by hand, or do you get a machine to do it?”

Day 3. Sunday, 16th September 2018.

I came in early for this one, and didn’t stay too long. I did enjoy the Peruvian Street food on the Southbank before heading back to StA, though…

 I got here so early it didn’t occur to me that no model worth her salt would ever, EVER get up this early. Even for London Fashion Week. So I went to find an early morning coffee place.  Uh…erm.. I mean early morning vodka place.

I got here so early it didn’t occur to me that no model worth her salt would ever, EVER get up this early. Even for London Fashion Week. So I went to find an early morning coffee place.
Uh…erm.. I mean early morning vodka place.

  “I hear mauve is the colour next London Fashion Week. But please don’t tell anyone I told you”

“I hear mauve is the colour next London Fashion Week. But please don’t tell anyone I told you”

  “I fought a homeless guy and he threw paint at me… now everyone’s offering me thousands of pounds for my ‘Fashion’… how do I escape this nightmare??”

“I fought a homeless guy and he threw paint at me… now everyone’s offering me thousands of pounds for my ‘Fashion’… how do I escape this nightmare??”

  “I need you to both look completely baffled by the technology you’re holding” ”No problem, grandpa. We’re also baffled by why you’re wearing an in-focus plant on your head”

“I need you to both look completely baffled by the technology you’re holding”
”No problem, grandpa. We’re also baffled by why you’re wearing an in-focus plant on your head”

  “And just think… when this all over next Wednesday, if somebody takes a photo of us just standing here looking pretty, we’ll be able to punch their lights out…”  I’m busy on Wednesday. Just so you know.

“And just think… when this all over next Wednesday, if somebody takes a photo of us just standing here looking pretty, we’ll be able to punch their lights out…”
I’m busy on Wednesday. Just so you know.

 file note for people who care : because of all the distracting backgrounds and/or crowds, I’m using long shutter speeds to blur backgrounds, or shooting at f1.8 to blur backgrounds. Finally : smoking? Still cool at London Fashion Week.

file note for people who care : because of all the distracting backgrounds and/or crowds, I’m using long shutter speeds to blur backgrounds, or shooting at f1.8 to blur backgrounds. Finally : smoking? Still cool at London Fashion Week.

  “I need you to look totally uninterested. No, LESS interested than that.    I SAID LESS INTERESTED!!    DAMNIT… LOOK BORED!!!    NO… MORE BORED!!!   ”  Bah… amateurs.

“I need you to look totally uninterested. No, LESS interested than that. I SAID LESS INTERESTED!! DAMNIT… LOOK BORED!!! NO… MORE BORED!!!
Bah… amateurs.

  “It’s nice that you guys think I’m well-dressed, but the judge really needs me to give my closing arguments in about 5 minutes….”

“It’s nice that you guys think I’m well-dressed, but the judge really needs me to give my closing arguments in about 5 minutes….”

  “Bet you’re glad you won that coin toss and got to wear that dress instead of me, huh, b1tch?”

“Bet you’re glad you won that coin toss and got to wear that dress instead of me, huh, b1tch?”

  “The invitation to high-five me right now is purely metaphorical.”

“The invitation to high-five me right now is purely metaphorical.”

  “Stand to attention” ”Yes, ma’am”

“Stand to attention”
”Yes, ma’am”

  “Okay, but just so you know it’s merely a coincidence that I’m posing outside a wine box” ”Here’s your order ma’am” ”Um…. right. Thanks.”

“Okay, but just so you know it’s merely a coincidence that I’m posing outside a wine box”
”Here’s your order ma’am”
”Um…. right. Thanks.”

Day 4. Monday, 17th September 2018.

A quick check on the file data for today reveals that I dedicated a grand total of four (YES, FOUR) minutes to London Fashion Week, and that’s because I dedicated lunchtime and the entirety of afterwork-time to the (pssst… more important) premiere of “A Simple Favour”, featuring the oh-so fashionable Paul Feig, Anna Kendrick and Blake Lively.

Still, you can do a lot in four minutes. Or … um…so I’ve been told…

  “But wait… I was given to understand this camouflage was foolproof… how do you even know where to photograph me??”

“But wait… I was given to understand this camouflage was foolproof… how do you even know where to photograph me??”

  “If you were any kind of fashion photographer, you’d have waited until my dress had passed by the pole”  … sure, but if you were any kind of model, you’d have known you’d be in the shade by the time the dress had passed. Feel free to critique my use of cheap selective desaturation, though…

“If you were any kind of fashion photographer, you’d have waited until my dress had passed by the pole”
… sure, but if you were any kind of model, you’d have known you’d be in the shade by the time the dress had passed. Feel free to critique my use of cheap selective desaturation, though…

  “Fine, take the photo. But just know we don’t usually pose for YOUR KIND” ”What do you mean by “your kind” ”Monochrome, to be blunt.”

“Fine, take the photo. But just know we don’t usually pose for YOUR KIND”
”What do you mean by “your kind”
”Monochrome, to be blunt.”

 Forget the tattoo : I think this photographer might have just invented a new photographic orientation that’s not landscape, portrait OR tilted!!

Forget the tattoo : I think this photographer might have just invented a new photographic orientation that’s not landscape, portrait OR tilted!!

  “Hold on… first I need to put on my glasses to secure my secret identity” ”If this is your secret identity gear, what on earth does your Superhero Costume involve??”

“Hold on… first I need to put on my glasses to secure my secret identity”
”If this is your secret identity gear, what on earth does your Superhero Costume involve??”

  “It really should be you photographing me… I’m much better looking than you are. Objectively speaking, I mean. And I’m your friend, so you know I’m being honest”

“It really should be you photographing me… I’m much better looking than you are. Objectively speaking, I mean. And I’m your friend, so you know I’m being honest”

  “Is there any way I can pretend to take a photo of you when I’m actually taking a selfie of ME?”

“Is there any way I can pretend to take a photo of you when I’m actually taking a selfie of ME?”

 I’ve never previously been intimated by the colour purple before…. but here I am.

I’ve never previously been intimated by the colour purple before…. but here I am.

Day 5. Tuesday, 18th September 2018.

Sadly, I had to give this day a miss, but here’s some fashion from yesterday’s “A Simple Favour” premiere by way of apology / bonus:

  “You’ll never be as dapper as me… if you were, it would make me less dapper, which would make you less dapper, and before we knew it, we’d be stuck in a spiraling out-of-control cycle where we might as well both be wearing rags”  - Director Paul Feig.

“You’ll never be as dapper as me… if you were, it would make me less dapper, which would make you less dapper, and before we knew it, we’d be stuck in a spiraling out-of-control cycle where we might as well both be wearing rags” - Director Paul Feig.

  “Honestly? The day I need somebody to tell me how great I look is the day I know it’s a lie.”  - Actor Stanley Tucci.

“Honestly? The day I need somebody to tell me how great I look is the day I know it’s a lie.”
- Actor Stanley Tucci.

  “It’s London Fashion Week…. what’s that you’re wearing?” ”It’s a white t-shirt” ”Bold choice” ”I thought so…”  - Actress Anna Kendrick

“It’s London Fashion Week…. what’s that you’re wearing?”
”It’s a white t-shirt”
”Bold choice”
”I thought so…”
- Actress Anna Kendrick

 Not only is actress Blake Lively wearing a silk waistcoat and jacket, and not only is she wearing a tie… but that TIE is wearing a TIE-PIN!!

Not only is actress Blake Lively wearing a silk waistcoat and jacket, and not only is she wearing a tie… but that TIE is wearing a TIE-PIN!!

So… that was 2018. For a second time. Historically speaking I should (hopefully) get one more bite at the cherry that is FASHION, as the Fashion Awards are held later in the year and I try to get to those.

Until (hopefully, wherever I am) next time!

ps. prior Fashion Week (Street) Photography journals are at  2010.12012.1, both 2013.1+ 2013.2  then 2014.12015.1, both 2016.12016.2, almost both 2017.1 + 2017.2 …. and one day of 2018.1 .

The 2018 Olivier Awards, Royal Albert Hall

April 8th, 2018.

Well, it's that time of year again : time to go to a major London awards ceremony, grab a wristband, take upwards of 3000 photos and then admit sheepishly to myself or anyone who asks that unless they were also in a movie, I know almost nobody I'm photographing. I am, indeed a fraud. Two years ago, I saw just one (1) play in London, and last year I celebrated by reducing my count.

Still... I'm here and I passed the mandatory sniffer dog and bag check, and just to make things interesting it seems the majority of Wireimage's staff of photographers are at that Avengers Infinity War thing that's happening elsewhere in London, so I've got next to no help when it comes to tagging and identifying people afterwards.

Oh, and it's raining. Here's how it went down:

 Just like    last year,    the Olivier Awards are being held at Royal Albert Hall. But whereas last year's was a stunning and warm day; today I think I'll be looking for a spot on the stairs just in case The Floodwaters rise.

Just like last year, the Olivier Awards are being held at Royal Albert Hall. But whereas last year's was a stunning and warm day; today I think I'll be looking for a spot on the stairs just in case The Floodwaters rise.

 I have a spot, and after the dust settles and security assure me that I don't have a (f**king) choice of pen, even if it means people who arrived and got wristbands after me get front row in a pen I'd prefer to be in..... I have a second-row spot to call my own. Hey, nobody said Theatre was fair. Except the Olivier Awards. Those are very fair.

I have a spot, and after the dust settles and security assure me that I don't have a (f**king) choice of pen, even if it means people who arrived and got wristbands after me get front row in a pen I'd prefer to be in..... I have a second-row spot to call my own. Hey, nobody said Theatre was fair. Except the Olivier Awards. Those are very fair.

 My view to the bottom of the stairs is well within range of my camera's zoom, but only if there are no umbrellas blocking my view. (Did I mention it rained for pretty much the whole event?)

My view to the bottom of the stairs is well within range of my camera's zoom, but only if there are no umbrellas blocking my view. (Did I mention it rained for pretty much the whole event?)

  "The fact that it's raining and you're attaching wires to me.... that's not a problem or anything, is it?"  Our hosts for this evening are, fortunately for them, standing under a plastic marquee.

"The fact that it's raining and you're attaching wires to me.... that's not a problem or anything, is it?" Our hosts for this evening are, fortunately for them, standing under a plastic marquee.

  "Hey, you're no Theatreist. What are you doing here??".  I know so little about theatre I don't even know what the collective noun for a group of afficionados is. Not in English, or in Italian, which is the language most of the highly knowledgeable and excitable girls in front of me are speaking.

"Hey, you're no Theatreist. What are you doing here??". I know so little about theatre I don't even know what the collective noun for a group of afficionados is. Not in English, or in Italian, which is the language most of the highly knowledgeable and excitable girls in front of me are speaking.

 Some of the cast of the musical Hamilton. Or so I am assured. The play won 7 awards on the night, so I want to make sure I photograph as many people as possible, for the likelihood that they, like everyone else, eventually sells out to Disney and gets roles in Star Wars or a Marvel film.

Some of the cast of the musical Hamilton. Or so I am assured. The play won 7 awards on the night, so I want to make sure I photograph as many people as possible, for the likelihood that they, like everyone else, eventually sells out to Disney and gets roles in Star Wars or a Marvel film.

 Some of the same cast of the same musical, equally assured.  (edited to add : I think the man in side-profile in this and the previous photo is Giles Terera, who won best actor in a musical on the night)

Some of the same cast of the same musical, equally assured. (edited to add : I think the man in side-profile in this and the previous photo is Giles Terera, who won best actor in a musical on the night)

  "If you're photographing me just 'cause I'm black and Hamilton is nominated for 11 Oliviers, then that's pretty racist. Although... it's a pretty awesome musical" .

"If you're photographing me just 'cause I'm black and Hamilton is nominated for 11 Oliviers, then that's pretty racist. Although... it's a pretty awesome musical".

  "I don't regret wearing this dress... in this length... in this weather... but I am pissed that you declined to dress in a matching style".  This is Christine Allado... and one day this week I might do the requisite research to determine her connection to this event. (edited to add : she's in HAMILTON!)

"I don't regret wearing this dress... in this length... in this weather... but I am pissed that you declined to dress in a matching style". This is Christine Allado... and one day this week I might do the requisite research to determine her connection to this event. (edited to add : she's in HAMILTON!)

  "You like it? It's not for sale. Also, please don't take a high resolution photo and send it to an overseas design-and-manufacture sweatshop to make cheap copies of...."

"You like it? It's not for sale. Also, please don't take a high resolution photo and send it to an overseas design-and-manufacture sweatshop to make cheap copies of...."

 Elsewhere in London, a private red carpet was being trod by a small portion of the Avengers Infinity Wars cast to showcase 30mins of footage from the movie for select fans. If you weren't part of that, you can probably assume it's because Marvel are Arrogant, and Hate you. But still want you to buy tickets to the movie.

Elsewhere in London, a private red carpet was being trod by a small portion of the Avengers Infinity Wars cast to showcase 30mins of footage from the movie for select fans. If you weren't part of that, you can probably assume it's because Marvel are Arrogant, and Hate you. But still want you to buy tickets to the movie.

 Meera Syal is (thanks to wikipedia) an MBE and a British comedian, writer, playwright, singer, journalist, producer and actress.&nbsp; I meanwhile, can not even claim to be British.

Meera Syal is (thanks to wikipedia) an MBE and a British comedian, writer, playwright, singer, journalist, producer and actress.  I meanwhile, can not even claim to be British.

 I don't know who this is, and that saddens me greatly. The badge on her dress says "TIME'S UP", just in case you wanted to know. I checked. To... find out what it says. (edited to later add : Amy Noble)

I don't know who this is, and that saddens me greatly. The badge on her dress says "TIME'S UP", just in case you wanted to know. I checked. To... find out what it says.
(edited to later add : Amy Noble)

 Ophelia Lovibond (in red) accepted the best supporting actress award on behalf of Denise Gough for Angels in America. She (and several actresses) it was reported brought female activists as their +1 to their event, (in her case Marai Larasi). I did not bring a female activist with me as my +1, but if it helps I do tend to think of my Nikon as being intrinsically female

Ophelia Lovibond (in red) accepted the best supporting actress award on behalf of Denise Gough for Angels in America. She (and several actresses) it was reported brought female activists as their +1 to their event, (in her case Marai Larasi). I did not bring a female activist with me as my +1, but if it helps I do tend to think of my Nikon as being intrinsically female

  "Of course I love the theatre. Can't you tell by my bow tie??"  Meanwhile, foreground : Summer Strallen. With thanks again to wikipedia, she's currently in the musical "Young Frankenstein" and has also played Maria von Trapp in the theatre musical The Sound of Music.

"Of course I love the theatre. Can't you tell by my bow tie??" Meanwhile, foreground : Summer Strallen. With thanks again to wikipedia, she's currently in the musical "Young Frankenstein" and has also played Maria von Trapp in the theatre musical The Sound of Music.

 I don't know who this is, but you know the rule about photography, bow ties and theatre events : take the photo first, confess to a complete and humiliating lack of knowledge second.  (edited to add : he's Michael Jibson, and he won best supporting actor in a musical for Hamilton)

I don't know who this is, but you know the rule about photography, bow ties and theatre events : take the photo first, confess to a complete and humiliating lack of knowledge second. (edited to add : he's Michael Jibson, and he won best supporting actor in a musical for Hamilton)

 I'm even doubling down on photographs of this gentleman : the Italian girls in front of me were very excited to get selfies with him, and I've decided to use their apparent expertise, coupled with my aforementioned Bow Tie Theory, as the basis for my photography today.  (edited to add : I am pleased to have doubled down)

I'm even doubling down on photographs of this gentleman : the Italian girls in front of me were very excited to get selfies with him, and I've decided to use their apparent expertise, coupled with my aforementioned Bow Tie Theory, as the basis for my photography today. (edited to add : I am pleased to have doubled down)

 Please wake me when Queen Latifah plays Winston Churchill in a new biopic under what I assume is the charter of the 50:50 AER organisastion. Because I'd get out of bed for that.

Please wake me when Queen Latifah plays Winston Churchill in a new biopic under what I assume is the charter of the 50:50 AER organisastion. Because I'd get out of bed for that.

 Jamie Campbell is... wearing a dress and earrings and signing autographs with cheerful abandon. Research reveals that he's the inspiration (indeed the titular real life Jamie) behind the musical "Everyone's Talking About Jamie"

Jamie Campbell is... wearing a dress and earrings and signing autographs with cheerful abandon. Research reveals that he's the inspiration (indeed the titular real life Jamie) behind the musical "Everyone's Talking About Jamie"

  "This umbrella isn't to keep the rain off me : have you seen how light my skin is? It's to protect me from the sun even when it's overcast"  - John McCrea is, conveniently, in the musical Everybody's Talking About Jamie.

"This umbrella isn't to keep the rain off me : have you seen how light my skin is? It's to protect me from the sun even when it's overcast" - John McCrea is, conveniently, in the musical Everybody's Talking About Jamie.

 Tracie Bennett has won no less than two Olivier Awards in the past, both for best supporting role in a musical. And if you think I know that off the top of my head, let me tell you about The Internet, and how all the kids are talking about it. Or tweeting. Or sending emojis or what have you.

Tracie Bennett has won no less than two Olivier Awards in the past, both for best supporting role in a musical. And if you think I know that off the top of my head, let me tell you about The Internet, and how all the kids are talking about it. Or tweeting. Or sending emojis or what have you.

 I don't know who this is, but the Italian girls in front of me managed to get him to commit to return to sign and take selfies with them, and were persuasive enough that this worked. Note to self : Italian girls are persuasive.

I don't know who this is, but the Italian girls in front of me managed to get him to commit to return to sign and take selfies with them, and were persuasive enough that this worked. Note to self : Italian girls are persuasive.

 Added later : still unidentified, but I'm doubling down on Man With Moustache Holding Umbrella And Semi-Excitable Woman In Background.

Added later : still unidentified, but I'm doubling down on Man With Moustache Holding Umbrella And Semi-Excitable Woman In Background.

  "Take a photo of us! We're ever so zany!" -  the Italian girls in front of me weren't excited, and I was taking my lead from them. Still... a bow tie and an umbrella not blocking my view of proceedings is always appreciated.

"Take a photo of us! We're ever so zany!" - the Italian girls in front of me weren't excited, and I was taking my lead from them. Still... a bow tie and an umbrella not blocking my view of proceedings is always appreciated.

 I don't know who this is, but if you put your hair into a double-helix, you get photographed. That's a rule I'll stick to even outside on the streets, nowhere near theatre award shows

I don't know who this is, but if you put your hair into a double-helix, you get photographed. That's a rule I'll stick to even outside on the streets, nowhere near theatre award shows

 I'm given to understand that this gentleman used to host some kind of game show in the 1990s? Okay....&nbsp; I'll post his photo. But only because he's wearing a white suit jacket.

I'm given to understand that this gentleman used to host some kind of game show in the 1990s? Okay....  I'll post his photo. But only because he's wearing a white suit jacket.

 I don't know who she is but she was interviewed, and she was wearing one of those dresses that look like they're some kind of billowing curtain fabric but of the kind that really doesn't take well to water.

I don't know who she is but she was interviewed, and she was wearing one of those dresses that look like they're some kind of billowing curtain fabric but of the kind that really doesn't take well to water.

  "And now the lens flare is BEHIND my camera? Damn these new smartphone cameras are hard to get the hang of..."

"And now the lens flare is BEHIND my camera? Damn these new smartphone cameras are hard to get the hang of..."

 Lesley Manville was nominated for best actress (for which she's won an Olivier Award before). However, in a different entertainment genre, she was also nominated for a best supporting actress Oscar this year for PTA's "Phantom Thread".

Lesley Manville was nominated for best actress (for which she's won an Olivier Award before). However, in a different entertainment genre, she was also nominated for a best supporting actress Oscar this year for PTA's "Phantom Thread".

  "That guy's still behind me, right? The courts have told him he's not allowed to, but he doesn't listen" . Imogen Poots is best known as an actress, in such things as the pretty awesome and underrated "Green Room" (2015)

"That guy's still behind me, right? The courts have told him he's not allowed to, but he doesn't listen". Imogen Poots is best known as an actress, in such things as the pretty awesome and underrated "Green Room" (2015)

  "That network of veins across my chest is a weird thing to mention in that comment you're going to write".  That Awkward Moment (2014), appropriately, is another movie Imogen Poots has been in .

"That network of veins across my chest is a weird thing to mention in that comment you're going to write". That Awkward Moment (2014), appropriately, is another movie Imogen Poots has been in .

 Close range! Apparently she was the little girl (?) in the original (?) Les Miserables. I'll take those Italian Girls' word for it.

Close range! Apparently she was the little girl (?) in the original (?) Les Miserables. I'll take those Italian Girls' word for it.

  "If you write even one halfway cynical thing about the Time's Up movement, be aware you might have half the planet's population against you ". Sure, but how would that be different to any other day?

"If you write even one halfway cynical thing about the Time's Up movement, be aware you might have half the planet's population against you". Sure, but how would that be different to any other day?

 Is it about the look of stunned shock in the foreground, or the recipient of a pretty amazing medal in the background? Actually, it's the moire pattern on the dude's suit jacket.

Is it about the look of stunned shock in the foreground, or the recipient of a pretty amazing medal in the background? Actually, it's the moire pattern on the dude's suit jacket.

  "Still taking those 'on suspicion of being in Hamilton' photos, huh?"  Who... me? Erm... no.

"Still taking those 'on suspicion of being in Hamilton' photos, huh?" Who... me? Erm... no.

 Identification (or takedown notice) pending. (Edited to add : She's Laura Donnelly, and she won an Olivier Award for Best Actress!)

Identification (or takedown notice) pending.
(Edited to add : She's Laura Donnelly, and she won an Olivier Award for Best Actress!)

 Another one of the people the Italian girls in front of me were very exited to see. I've decided trust Italian girls where theatre is concerned. (Yes, even London theatre)

Another one of the people the Italian girls in front of me were very exited to see. I've decided trust Italian girls where theatre is concerned. (Yes, even London theatre)

 Lady in Background :   "OMG! I know this is theatre and I'm meant to be totally understated but that man's hand appears to be FREAKISHLY HUGE!!"  . In other momentous news, Wireimage has finally come through for once... and identified the lady as Danielle Hope.

Lady in Background : "OMG! I know this is theatre and I'm meant to be totally understated but that man's hand appears to be FREAKISHLY HUGE!!". In other momentous news, Wireimage has finally come through for once... and identified the lady as Danielle Hope.

  "Inadvertent Forced Perspective. Got It."

"Inadvertent Forced Perspective. Got It."

 Excitingly, we might be getting to the part in the proceedings where the 'bigger' name arrivals start... arriving. I know Sergei Polunin - not for theatre, but because he was in    Kenneth Branagh's 'Murder on the Orient Express'    which had its World Premiere last year... also at the Royal Albert Hall.

Excitingly, we might be getting to the part in the proceedings where the 'bigger' name arrivals start... arriving. I know Sergei Polunin - not for theatre, but because he was in Kenneth Branagh's 'Murder on the Orient Express' which had its World Premiere last year... also at the Royal Albert Hall.

  "I know you're wondering : is it that I'm short or that guy next to me is incredibly tall? I'm not telling - #KeepThe Mystery"  Leanne Cope is per wikipedia, a ballet and theatre artist.

"I know you're wondering : is it that I'm short or that guy next to me is incredibly tall? I'm not telling - #KeepThe Mystery" Leanne Cope is per wikipedia, a ballet and theatre artist.

  "Awww... come on, stop making me sign stuff from 'Sherlock' and stuff where I'm   'C' from Spectre  "  - Andrew Scott is perhaps best known for both of those things, but on this night he was a nominee for best actor for "Hamlet".

"Awww... come on, stop making me sign stuff from 'Sherlock' and stuff where I'm 'C' from Spectre" - Andrew Scott is perhaps best known for both of those things, but on this night he was a nominee for best actor for "Hamlet".

  "We can get people in the crowd to hold up their umbrellas even higher if you want"  Jez Butterworth won an Olivier award on the night as writer of the best new play "The Ferryman" (I'd photographed him looking much more startled at    last year's Evening Standard Theatre Awards   )

"We can get people in the crowd to hold up their umbrellas even higher if you want" Jez Butterworth won an Olivier award on the night as writer of the best new play "The Ferryman" (I'd photographed him looking much more startled at last year's Evening Standard Theatre Awards)

 .... I don't know who this is, but he's endorsed by Italian Girls worldwide (or at least the 3-4 around me), and that's good enough for me.

.... I don't know who this is, but he's endorsed by Italian Girls worldwide (or at least the 3-4 around me), and that's good enough for me.

 Although perhaps best known (okay... by me...) for being in several Harry Potter movies as well as Shakespeare in Love and Maleficent, Imelda Staunton has won one Olivier Award for Best Actress and another THREE for Best Actress in a Musical.

Although perhaps best known (okay... by me...) for being in several Harry Potter movies as well as Shakespeare in Love and Maleficent, Imelda Staunton has won one Olivier Award for Best Actress and another THREE for Best Actress in a Musical.

  "Please don't two-finger point at me. I'm not in tune with today's youth, and I have no idea what it means".  Alfred Molina : best known as the kid who throws Indiana Jones The Whip in exchange for The Idol in the opening of Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), and as Doc Ock in Spider-Man 2.

"Please don't two-finger point at me. I'm not in tune with today's youth, and I have no idea what it means". Alfred Molina : best known as the kid who throws Indiana Jones The Whip in exchange for The Idol in the opening of Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), and as Doc Ock in Spider-Man 2.

 Possibly not in the musical 'Hamilton', but I respect the intense stare, and would like to borrow it to gain access to closed-invite Marvel and Disney premieres and events, if that's okay.

Possibly not in the musical 'Hamilton', but I respect the intense stare, and would like to borrow it to gain access to closed-invite Marvel and Disney premieres and events, if that's okay.

  "Okay, you sign as me and I'll sign as you" . The Italians in front of me sometimes seem happy just to be in proximity to famous (?) theatre people - they'd probably accept this compromise. (Also : I don't know who they are)

"Okay, you sign as me and I'll sign as you". The Italians in front of me sometimes seem happy just to be in proximity to famous (?) theatre people - they'd probably accept this compromise. (Also : I don't know who they are)

 Ciaran Hinds is possibly best known for being the villain Steppenwolf in the 'Justice League' movie, which basically nobody saw and even less people cared about (and for which there was no premiere) and for which nobody blames him because DC are crap. But point is, he's a really nice guy a very good actor and among other things, he played Dumbledore's brother in the last two Harry Potter films.

Ciaran Hinds is possibly best known for being the villain Steppenwolf in the 'Justice League' movie, which basically nobody saw and even less people cared about (and for which there was no premiere) and for which nobody blames him because DC are crap. But point is, he's a really nice guy a very good actor and among other things, he played Dumbledore's brother in the last two Harry Potter films.

 Passing by Ciaran Hinds is Shirley Henderson, arguably best known for being Moaning Mirtle across a few Harry Potter films, but she won Best Actress in a Musical on the night.

Passing by Ciaran Hinds is Shirley Henderson, arguably best known for being Moaning Mirtle across a few Harry Potter films, but she won Best Actress in a Musical on the night.

  "Wait a minute. I just figured out a third, fifth and tenth thing I could be doing that's more satisfying than signing that piece of paper you're holding in front of me...."

"Wait a minute. I just figured out a third, fifth and tenth thing I could be doing that's more satisfying than signing that piece of paper you're holding in front of me...."

  "It was straight when I got out of the car.... but then it rained and... well... as you can see, no way I'm going to be able to be wearing a baseball cap tonight"  Identified as : Beverley Knight, singer.

"It was straight when I got out of the car.... but then it rained and... well... as you can see, no way I'm going to be able to be wearing a baseball cap tonight" Identified as : Beverley Knight, singer.

  "That's a cool poster, but I was never in Star Wars"  Chita Rivera is famous for being in the original Broadway cast of 'Chicago', and was also in the 2002 movie. She's been nominated for 10 Tony Awards (the US Version of the Oliviers, I take it...), winning two.

"That's a cool poster, but I was never in Star Wars" Chita Rivera is famous for being in the original Broadway cast of 'Chicago', and was also in the 2002 movie. She's been nominated for 10 Tony Awards (the US Version of the Oliviers, I take it...), winning two.

  "Nothing. Just standing here looking pretty and diffident." "Okay.... as long as that's all you're doing"

"Nothing. Just standing here looking pretty and diffident."
"Okay.... as long as that's all you're doing"

 Sam Mendes won a fourth Olivier Award for best director on the night for The Ferryman (He's also won an Academy Award for directing) (plus he directed the last two James Bond movies -    Skyfall    and    Spectre   )

Sam Mendes won a fourth Olivier Award for best director on the night for The Ferryman (He's also won an Academy Award for directing) (plus he directed the last two James Bond movies - Skyfall and Spectre)

 Italian Girl Excitement Level at seeing this gentleman: medium by their standards, high by anybody else's

Italian Girl Excitement Level at seeing this gentleman: medium by their standards, high by anybody else's

 Laura Pradelska.... she's got an entry on imdb but not on wikipedia, but the autograph dealers knew her well enough to call out for her signature, which is a kind of fame, I guess.

Laura Pradelska.... she's got an entry on imdb but not on wikipedia, but the autograph dealers knew her well enough to call out for her signature, which is a kind of fame, I guess.

  "Time's up when I say it is, and I say it is. Also, you had your one chance, and you blew it, and you know it" . Bryan Cranston is    correct   .

"Time's up when I say it is, and I say it is. Also, you had your one chance, and you blew it, and you know it". Bryan Cranston is correct.

 Ronnie Wood is a member of the Rolling Stones, and as usual I'm not game to choose between 'wife', 'great granddaughter' and 'babysitter' as to who the women he's with is.

Ronnie Wood is a member of the Rolling Stones, and as usual I'm not game to choose between 'wife', 'great granddaughter' and 'babysitter' as to who the women he's with is.

  "I've been a member of the Rolling Stones for several decades longer than anyone thought we'd survive, so I'm not willing to tempt fate by wearing a "Time's Up" badge. But hurrah for the cause, certainly"

"I've been a member of the Rolling Stones for several decades longer than anyone thought we'd survive, so I'm not willing to tempt fate by wearing a "Time's Up" badge. But hurrah for the cause, certainly"

 ?

?

  "I don't want to say too much, but...... What if I told you I'm not wearing a dress.... and in related news that I got a full body tattoo over Easter?"

"I don't want to say too much, but...... What if I told you I'm not wearing a dress.... and in related news that I got a full body tattoo over Easter?"

 I'm not sure who he is, but apparently he is/was instrumental in (something) to do with the musical Hamilton. (Italian Girl Excitement Level : High, even by their standards) -  edited to add : he's Sir Cameron Mackintosh (further research required)

I'm not sure who he is, but apparently he is/was instrumental in (something) to do with the musical Hamilton. (Italian Girl Excitement Level : High, even by their standards) - edited to add : he's Sir Cameron Mackintosh (further research required)

  "Awww.. come on. You're all wearing beanies and waterproof jackets to this event? THIS IS THEATRE, People!!"  Edited to add : I don't know who this is.

"Awww.. come on. You're all wearing beanies and waterproof jackets to this event? THIS IS THEATRE, People!!" Edited to add : I don't know who this is.

  "You're welcome, of course"  - Michael Sheen is both a fantastic serious actor in movies like Frost/Nixon and The Damned United.... as well as a fantastic comedic actor pitch-perfect in such movies as several Twilight films and Tron Legacy.

"You're welcome, of course" - Michael Sheen is both a fantastic serious actor in movies like Frost/Nixon and The Damned United.... as well as a fantastic comedic actor pitch-perfect in such movies as several Twilight films and Tron Legacy.

 Alexandra Burke - singer. Time I'm writing this : 0:02 Monday morning. Tiredness : problematically slim. Hours til I'm meant to get up for work : less than five.

Alexandra Burke - singer. Time I'm writing this : 0:02 Monday morning. Tiredness : problematically slim. Hours til I'm meant to get up for work : less than five.

 Cuba Gooding Jr has recently been in Chicago (I know this because although I'm not exactly a theatre-ist, I do occasionally look at the side of buses)

Cuba Gooding Jr has recently been in Chicago (I know this because although I'm not exactly a theatre-ist, I do occasionally look at the side of buses)

  "Arm wrestle? Here? Now? Okay, bring it on"  Janie Dee has won two previous Olivier Awards. And may or may not be great at arm-wrestling.

"Arm wrestle? Here? Now? Okay, bring it on" Janie Dee has won two previous Olivier Awards. And may or may not be great at arm-wrestling.

 Cuba Gooding Jnr battles the desire to head into the Royal Albert Hall, where things are calm and civilised and warm and dry.... against the possibility he may have promised to return and sign autographs near the Italian Girls in front of me.

Cuba Gooding Jnr battles the desire to head into the Royal Albert Hall, where things are calm and civilised and warm and dry.... against the possibility he may have promised to return and sign autographs near the Italian Girls in front of me.

  "If it means an autograph, hug or even high-five from Cuba Gooding Jnr, I'll be Italian for just one day..."

"If it means an autograph, hug or even high-five from Cuba Gooding Jnr, I'll be Italian for just one day..."

  "And you thought I wouldn't be back".  He was. I never doubted him for a moment.

"And you thought I wouldn't be back". He was. I never doubted him for a moment.

So... that was that. It was a long, tiring, wet and occasionally interesting day. Rumours had it that the Avengers "VIP Fan Screening" at White City would actually be a legitimate event, with a red carpet and fans and pens and wristbands.... but those rumours overstated the largesse of the Disney Corporation, who prefers not to have premieres when they can spend millions on advertising and negotiating fairly one-sided distribution deals with cinema-owners. I, meanwhile, got to spend the day in the company of the cultured, the civilised, and the only-slight-soggy-from-the-rain people who chose to attend the Olivers.

Which means that these Oliviers, can join the journals for the ones I attended in 2014, 2015, 2016 and 2017 in the Archive. And while my knowledge of all things Theatre-related might not have increased over half a decade, my attendance record is fairly exemplary.

Until next time!

ps. If you ever want to know when I post one of these journals (usually shorter, and for movie-related events), feel free to follow me on facebook at premeiresdotco, or on twitter at berndt2_photo.