Why I Didn't Like : 'Wall-E' (2008)

Why do I do this? Read the Manifesto

"Is it wrong that I'd let my own species die iF IT MEANT seeing more of the love story between two robots?"

Movie Pessimistically Appraised : Wall-E (2008). First watched : 2008 (cinema). Subsequently rewatched : Yes. Review written (2016)

Score out of Ten : 8
Score out of Five : 4
Good or Bad : Good
Recommend Watching : Yes

This movie is great. Or rather, its sequentially Awesome, then Very Good, then Okay. Net result (on slightly skewed maths) - it's still great.

The first part of this movie is the masterpiece : basically a silent movie about a lone robot programmed to keep cleaning up an Earth that's long since been abandoned by humanity. It's a mystery, it's an adventure, and it's glorious. Give Pixar the Best Animated Short Oscar for the first part of the movie ON TOP OF the one it won for Best Animated Feature for this film, I say.

The second part of this movie is very cool : another robot shows up, and an unlikely robotic romance occurs as our lonely beat-up dishevelled unlikely hero falls in love (?) with a sleek, curved, female (I guess) iRobot who has no programmed interest in him whatsoever as she pursues her own programmed duties (it's like they're stealing my life story...)

"The movie then, sadly, decides it needs to get to the point. And I'm not sure it needed to do that"

The third part of this movie is where the movie decides it has to get to the point, which .... I'm not sure that it had to. It decides that we don't care about robots and we don't care about love : we care about the missing humans that are no longer on Earth. And maybe I'm this planet's biggest misanthrope (and perhaps I am) but I didn't give two sh*ts about the humans who ruined their planet and hightailed it into outer space to escape the consequences of their actions. Or their descendants. And then we meet them : several generations later humanity is a bunch of obese overweight lazy space-consumers in floating lounge chairs, existing in some kind of American Shopping Mall Spaceship Ark. Basically the movie decides to start a new story, which is about these human being allowed to return to Earth for a second chance at living on Earth, and the antagonist will be the onboard robot sentience that prefers to keep humanity coddled in comfortable consumer dependency. I can not stress enough that I don't care about this story. For one, I think these humans should be kept away from Earth, and that while evil, the sentient onboard computer is right to keep these lazy fat clowns under its 'thumb' until those humans eventually DECIDE to rebel of their own accord, and not merely when some Jesus-like robot arrives to show them the way.

"Dear movie : please do not assume I have any loyalty to my species."

Humanity sucks in this movie - both the idiots who ruined Earth and the idiots that remain. I didn't want to experience their story, I didn't care what happened to them, and I resented having the story I loved being hijacked by the assumption that I cared about the obese represenation of the species I'm a part of. I'd have preferred Wall-E (or Eve) to have combined to search for humanity, rather than actually find them.

The humans in the movie are caricatures, ugly lumpish 'American' things and I don't care for them - visually and stylistically it's a deliberate choice to have the robots be either smooth or battered and have the humans as doughy meatbags. But the movie never asks why I would care for them. My opinion : do not assume I have any loyalty to my species, movie. Quite simply, after I spent half the movie loving the robots, I had no reason to care about their interaction with humans.

To be fair, the second half of the film isn't bad per se... it's just both a little more obviously preachy and features characters I care much less about, introduced too late for me to build up any real empathy with them. So that's that then - a lesser story following on the heels of two great ones, albeit one that does include lessons and morality and a sense of hope for our species.

But is it wrong that the human element of the story didn't move me nearly as much as a love story between two robots?

Probably, but I stand by my opinion.

Best Part : First fifteen minutes as a brilliant self-contained short film.

Movies Pessimistically Appraised : Because no movie is perfect.