30 Jul 2019 - The 'Once Upon A Time In... Hollywood' Premiere

July 30th, 2019.

Among other things, this was the second premiere in two days AND the second in a row to feature an orange carpet… my wristband promised untold potential for misery, and forecasts of rain (both heavy and frequent) solidified the ominous nature of the event. And yet… i stayed. Obviously…. for Quentin’s 9th…. and also my 4th of Quentin’s 9.

Here’s how it went down:

Rather incredibly, my #132 wristband has gotten me a spot on the FRONT ROW. Yes, the view of the stage will be sketchy, and yes my view of the posing board will be blocked by attendants and all manner of security, and yes there appears to be no on-carpet interview at dropoff, and yes if it rains my view will consist mostly of umbrellas…. I’m sorry I forgot where my optimism went.

Rather incredibly, my #132 wristband has gotten me a spot on the FRONT ROW. Yes, the view of the stage will be sketchy, and yes my view of the posing board will be blocked by attendants and all manner of security, and yes there appears to be no on-carpet interview at dropoff, and yes if it rains my view will consist mostly of umbrellas…. I’m sorry I forgot where my optimism went.

“Check the horizon: it’s the stairs that are at an angle”  It’s London today…. but you know it’ll all be better after Brexit.

“Check the horizon: it’s the stairs that are at an angle”
It’s London today…. but you know it’ll all be better after Brexit.

“Of course I trained him to immediately approach Margot Robbie once she arrives, thus forcing me to apologise on his behalf, and thus strike up an inevitable yet improbable friendship”  And yet I can’t help notice that while the signs all around the premiere (and all the posters) put the triple dots (“…”) in the title after the word “in”, on imdb.com they’re after the word “time”. Lift your game, imdb.

“Of course I trained him to immediately approach Margot Robbie once she arrives, thus forcing me to apologise on his behalf, and thus strike up an inevitable yet improbable friendship”
And yet I can’t help notice that while the signs all around the premiere (and all the posters) put the triple dots (“…”) in the title after the word “in”, on imdb.com they’re after the word “time”. Lift your game, imdb.

“When I grab a coffee I make sure its    moccachino    / my fav’rite sides at Nandos are the ones that are the    Fino    / Given the choice of either I’d take Vegas over    Reno    / Listen up y’all it’s Number NINE from    TARANTINO   !! Oh, come on guys… just because it’s raining doesn’t mean you can’t be impressed…”  Your good friend and mine Hakeem Mr Impact and his deejay Wearz Da Tripple Dotz did warmup duties at the event.

“When I grab a coffee I make sure its moccachino / my fav’rite sides at Nandos are the ones that are the Fino / Given the choice of either I’d take Vegas over Reno / Listen up y’all it’s Number NINE from TARANTINO!! Oh, come on guys… just because it’s raining doesn’t mean you can’t be impressed…”
Your good friend and mine Hakeem Mr Impact and his deejay Wearz Da Tripple Dotz did warmup duties at the event.

“It swallowed somebody’s puppy earlier in the day, and I think that’ll keep it full til dinner so I wouldn’t worry about it…”  Lena Dunham is (was) the unusual combination of sometime Director / Writer / Creator /Star of TV Series ‘Girls’ which I was forced to watch two episodes of once. I lost a bet… or something. The feather boa wrapped around moved at times, but I assume it was the wind.

“It swallowed somebody’s puppy earlier in the day, and I think that’ll keep it full til dinner so I wouldn’t worry about it…” Lena Dunham is (was) the unusual combination of sometime Director / Writer / Creator /Star of TV Series ‘Girls’ which I was forced to watch two episodes of once. I lost a bet… or something. The feather boa wrapped around moved at times, but I assume it was the wind.

“It’s cutting off circulation…. it does that when it’s happy. I think”

“It’s cutting off circulation…. it does that when it’s happy. I think”

“If you have a chance, however small, of photographing Margot Robbie, you take it”.  I believe it was Sun Tzu who wrote that bit of advice, confusing many at the time as photography hadn’t been invented yet..

“If you have a chance, however small, of photographing Margot Robbie, you take it”.
I believe it was Sun Tzu who wrote that bit of advice, confusing many at the time as photography hadn’t been invented yet..

“Okay, my dress is made of garbage bag plastic and the plunging neckline can’t get much lower. What do I need to do next in order to get cast in a Tarantino film?”

“Okay, my dress is made of garbage bag plastic and the plunging neckline can’t get much lower. What do I need to do next in order to get cast in a Tarantino film?”

“But he's been in a Tarantino Movie!! Well, no you wouldn't have seen it - it's only just been released! And I'm with him!”  Damian Lewis is indeed in this movie - he plays Steve McQueen (the actor, not the director). His wife is actress Helen McCrory - not in this movie

“But he's been in a Tarantino Movie!! Well, no you wouldn't have seen it - it's only just been released! And I'm with him!”
Damian Lewis is indeed in this movie - he plays Steve McQueen (the actor, not the director). His wife is actress Helen McCrory - not in this movie

“I’m sorry.. that came out kind of snitty… I meant to say I’VE been in a JAMES BOND movie, and HE’S with ME”

“I’m sorry.. that came out kind of snitty… I meant to say I’VE been in a JAMES BOND movie, and HE’S with ME”

“You wanna meet Tarantino? I already have! He’s great! You get paid to be in his movies and everything! Well.. you kinda gotta pass an audition and stuff…. but still. Totally try to do that. You’ve still got one movie left”  - Costa Ronin, like Damian Lewis, was also in ‘Homeland’ across several series AND is in this movie.

“You wanna meet Tarantino? I already have! He’s great! You get paid to be in his movies and everything! Well.. you kinda gotta pass an audition and stuff…. but still. Totally try to do that. You’ve still got one movie left” - Costa Ronin, like Damian Lewis, was also in ‘Homeland’ across several series AND is in this movie.

“I’m going to accept this ticket gratefully as a gift.I may or may not repay the favour, though - true gifts are given without strings attached, and I feel like that is what this is”   In other news… (Australia’s Own) Margot Robbie has arrived, and is undergoing a complicated, view-obstructing session of grooming…

“I’m going to accept this ticket gratefully as a gift.I may or may not repay the favour, though - true gifts are given without strings attached, and I feel like that is what this is”

In other news… (Australia’s Own) Margot Robbie has arrived, and is undergoing a complicated, view-obstructing session of grooming…

“I love it.. don’t stop”

“I love it.. don’t stop”

“Switch hands… it’s better with your left…”

“Switch hands… it’s better with your left…”

“I could also go for a flat white…”

“I could also go for a flat white…”

“They’re making it Pomegranite flavour now?”

“They’re making it Pomegranite flavour now?”

Margot Robbie’s hair feels the effect of that grooming. It’s pretty sensational. It would require multiple recurring solar eclipses and numerous improbable prophecies to be fulfilled for my hair to do that.

Margot Robbie’s hair feels the effect of that grooming. It’s pretty sensational. It would require multiple recurring solar eclipses and numerous improbable prophecies to be fulfilled for my hair to do that.

“Y’all liked ‘Seven Years in Tibet’ THAT much, huh?”  It’s Brad Pitt! I’ve only previously photographed him at    the premieres of ‘Allied’    and (from a great distance with a wide-angle lens) at    ‘World War Z’.

“Y’all liked ‘Seven Years in Tibet’ THAT much, huh?”
It’s Brad Pitt! I’ve only previously photographed him at the premieres of ‘Allied’ and (from a great distance with a wide-angle lens) at ‘World War Z’.

If it ever comes in handy at a pub quiz or something, Brad Pitt has actually won an OSCAR - not for acting, but for producing (he was a producer on ‘12 Years A Slave’) (you’re welcome!)

If it ever comes in handy at a pub quiz or something, Brad Pitt has actually won an OSCAR - not for acting, but for producing (he was a producer on ‘12 Years A Slave’) (you’re welcome!)

OMG It’s Leonardo DiCaprio!!! (those exclamation marks are best accompanied by the tears of screaming teenage…. perhaps now twenty-something… potentially now even thirty- or forty-something… or even your aunt or grandma’s age, female fans)

OMG It’s Leonardo DiCaprio!!! (those exclamation marks are best accompanied by the tears of screaming teenage…. perhaps now twenty-something… potentially now even thirty- or forty-something… or even your aunt or grandma’s age, female fans)

“All right, which one of you guys once said that eating raw meat for a role isn’t acting because when you’re actually eating it you are by definition not acting like you’re eating it??”  Might’ve been me. I’m a stickler for technicalities, though I’m not in a position to ask or lobby for the Oscar to be returned.

“All right, which one of you guys once said that eating raw meat for a role isn’t acting because when you’re actually eating it you are by definition not acting like you’re eating it??” Might’ve been me. I’m a stickler for technicalities, though I’m not in a position to ask or lobby for the Oscar to be returned.

Me  : “You see - if you’re eating a jellybean and you can make me believe it’s bison liver, THAT’S acting!”  Everyone around me  : “He’s not with us - please sign for us!”

Me : “You see - if you’re eating a jellybean and you can make me believe it’s bison liver, THAT’S acting!”
Everyone around me : “He’s not with us - please sign for us!”

“I just signed for a whole row of people and not one of them noticed I signed as George Clooney. THAT’S confidence. THAT’S acting”  - can’t disagree. Clooney’s a great actor.

“I just signed for a whole row of people and not one of them noticed I signed as George Clooney. THAT’S confidence. THAT’S acting” - can’t disagree. Clooney’s a great actor.

“You’re all so polite…..if none of you has the courage to scream at me to motherf—king stand over by the motherf—king posing board, there’s every chance I’m not going to take you seriously”  it’s writer/director Quentin Tarantino!! - I’ve previously photographed him at the premieres of    ‘Inglourious Basterds’   ,    ‘Django Unchained   ’ and    ‘The H8teful Eight’    (and i have a signed framed photo of him that I took hanging on my wall)

“You’re all so polite…..if none of you has the courage to scream at me to motherf—king stand over by the motherf—king posing board, there’s every chance I’m not going to take you seriously”
it’s writer/director Quentin Tarantino!! - I’ve previously photographed him at the premieres of ‘Inglourious Basterds’, ‘Django Unchained’ and ‘The H8teful Eight’ (and i have a signed framed photo of him that I took hanging on my wall)

“I’ve never heard of     “Once Upon A Time In London”,     but I’m sure my lawyers would love to know more”  That premiere was considerably … stranger than this one.

“I’ve never heard of “Once Upon A Time In London”, but I’m sure my lawyers would love to know more”
That premiere was considerably … stranger than this one.

“The longer this hug lasts, the longer I can avoid going over there and signing stuff and posing for selfies. And yes sure, admitting this makes this moment less romantic.. but it doesn’t mean I don’t need you any less right now”

“The longer this hug lasts, the longer I can avoid going over there and signing stuff and posing for selfies. And yes sure, admitting this makes this moment less romantic.. but it doesn’t mean I don’t need you any less right now”

“Okay, I’ve seen it and I’m appalled, and once I recover from the shock I’ll never be the same. Now let’s never refer to it again”  In good news for people standing in front rows at premieres who are interested in losing centimetres off their waist for summer : three rows of people behind are about to push forward in desperation.

“Okay, I’ve seen it and I’m appalled, and once I recover from the shock I’ll never be the same. Now let’s never refer to it again”
In good news for people standing in front rows at premieres who are interested in losing centimetres off their waist for summer : three rows of people behind are about to push forward in desperation.

“Yeah, I saw it too. I’ll probably have to burn these glasses. Now let’s never refer to it again”  Good news for people in the front row of a premiere who think ribs are mainly superfluous : Brad Pitt has come over to sign autographs!  In other news… Margot Robbie is getting some makeup reapplied.

“Yeah, I saw it too. I’ll probably have to burn these glasses. Now let’s never refer to it again”
Good news for people in the front row of a premiere who think ribs are mainly superfluous : Brad Pitt has come over to sign autographs!

In other news… Margot Robbie is getting some makeup reapplied.

“Is there room for a Malteser while you’re at it?”

“Is there room for a Malteser while you’re at it?”

“Is it at least spelled correctly?”

“Is it at least spelled correctly?”

“If I find that’s some kind of gang-sign tag…”

“If I find that’s some kind of gang-sign tag…”

“Skin pores are totally natural, people…”

“Skin pores are totally natural, people…”

“Suitably beautified, my aides have informed me I can once again face my fans. Their words, not mine!”  In the crush, my Theta was the only camera I was able to reach.

“Suitably beautified, my aides have informed me I can once again face my fans. Their words, not mine!”
In the crush, my Theta was the only camera I was able to reach.

“Could you just read from this script I’ve written, whichonly appears by coincidence to imply that you endorse my online business, and vouch to my foreign investors that my business plan is sound?” ”Erm….” ”But I’ve heard you’re a great actress…. and Leonardo said ‘no’” ”Well, in that case…”

“Could you just read from this script I’ve written, whichonly appears by coincidence to imply that you endorse my online business, and vouch to my foreign investors that my business plan is sound?”
”Erm….”
”But I’ve heard you’re a great actress…. and Leonardo said ‘no’”
”Well, in that case…”

“Yeah, okay. You can totally text your boyfriend to tell him I said that…. ”  I’ve previously photographed Margot Robbie at premieres such as    ‘Focus’    with Will Smith,    ‘The Legend of Tarzan’   , and the hard-to-remember / hard-to-forget    ‘Suicide Squad’   .

“Yeah, okay. You can totally text your boyfriend to tell him I said that…. ”
I’ve previously photographed Margot Robbie at premieres such as ‘Focus’ with Will Smith, ‘The Legend of Tarzan’, and the hard-to-remember / hard-to-forget ‘Suicide Squad’.

“But you didn’t sign EVERYTHING!!”

“But you didn’t sign EVERYTHING!!”

My view of the stage in the far distance is limited from where I stand….. and shooting high-and-blind with live-view switched on doesn’t seem to bring out the best in the Nikon. However… it’s better than nothing.

My view of the stage in the far distance is limited from where I stand….. and shooting high-and-blind with live-view switched on doesn’t seem to bring out the best in the Nikon. However… it’s better than nothing.

“So…. and I’m struggling to ask a question that’s truly unique but I think I should go with my first instinct : which one of you would win in an arm wrestle?” ”Margot” ”Margot” ”I’m Margot… and I’m going to say… also Margot”

“So…. and I’m struggling to ask a question that’s truly unique but I think I should go with my first instinct : which one of you would win in an arm wrestle?”
”Margot”
”Margot”
”I’m Margot… and I’m going to say… also Margot”

Australian Flag and Margot Robbie. Because I care…. enough to notice, not carry a flag along with the two-plus-three cameras I already have with me.

Australian Flag and Margot Robbie. Because I care…. enough to notice, not carry a flag along with the two-plus-three cameras I already have with me.

“Check out that guy’s website. You might as well say I told you, since I can’t stop him typing it”  In my (partial/legal) defence, I’m currently drinking something strange, alcoholic, and Icelandic.

“Check out that guy’s website. You might as well say I told you, since I can’t stop him typing it”
In my (partial/legal) defence, I’m currently drinking something strange, alcoholic, and Icelandic.

So… that was that. Given the intermittent rain, the large crowds, the profusion of security / attendants / guests and gawkers on the carpet, and the limited opportunities… I think it was worth it, overall. And just for once it’s a movie I’m actually looking forward to watching - not just as part of my ‘close the circle’ commitment to eventually watch every movie I’ve been to the premiere of, that’s located in my Archive of Premieres here.

Until next time!

ps. if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or twitter at berndt2_photo, or instagram at…. erm…. i totally forget.

36 hours and after trawling / culling my way through the 4000(ish) photos I took on the night…. I found a shot with Margot Robbie looking at me from over 50 metres away!

36 hours and after trawling / culling my way through the 4000(ish) photos I took on the night…. I found a shot with Margot Robbie looking at me from over 50 metres away!