21 Aug 2019 - The 'Inna De Yard' Premiere (...Mon!)

August da Twenty-fahst, too fousand’n’nineteen.

Doncha no its beena nearly too weekes since da last premiere in dissa town? Issa been ruff. But todae dare woz da chance to see iffa da rumahs of dea bein’ da premiere forda film ‘Inna De Yard’ were trooth or fake.

Eet went dahn thussly:

The main street entrance to the FIlm4 Summer Screening at Somerset House is through some impressive purple velvet curtains. Unlike the red carpets at premieres, which are frequently discarded offsite, I’d like to think these might have a more luxurious retirement plan,

The main street entrance to the FIlm4 Summer Screening at Somerset House is through some impressive purple velvet curtains. Unlike the red carpets at premieres, which are frequently discarded offsite, I’d like to think these might have a more luxurious retirement plan,

Not a great photo of the vim and vitality of a Film4 Summer Screening, but historians of the future who might otherwise have no idea how much a “Popcorn Shed” or “Candy Kittens” cost will have me to thank.

Not a great photo of the vim and vitality of a Film4 Summer Screening, but historians of the future who might otherwise have no idea how much a “Popcorn Shed” or “Candy Kittens” cost will have me to thank.

It’s a nice cloud and a good looking venue, but with the screening starting at 21:00 and the time right now being <checks> 17:45, will I really have to wait three hours for something to happen? Besides which…

It’s a nice cloud and a good looking venue, but with the screening starting at 21:00 and the time right now being <checks> 17:45, will I really have to wait three hours for something to happen? Besides which…

Mutch laik da “   Pehn N Gloree”    premiere sum too weekes agoah, da events at Sumset Ouse is at da REAR of da venyoo… dis kinda ting impoahtant to know…. ya know?

Mutch laik da “Pehn N Gloree” premiere sum too weekes agoah, da events at Sumset Ouse is at da REAR of da venyoo… dis kinda ting impoahtant to know…. ya know?

“I honestly did ask for a red, green, yellow and black striped carpet but they said it was too late…”  Dat be a shame…ya rilly wonta bi ‘representin’ ifya can.

“I honestly did ask for a red, green, yellow and black striped carpet but they said it was too late…”
Dat be a shame…ya rilly wonta bi ‘representin’ ifya can.

Afta weightin for sum nahnty minnets, da event gets undaweigh, an for sum reezon Imabel tah get tooda barrier an take fotos. I like ta fink its ma aksent dats maykin me look’n’sownd lajit….

Afta weightin for sum nahnty minnets, da event gets undaweigh, an for sum reezon Imabel tah get tooda barrier an take fotos. I like ta fink its ma aksent dats maykin me look’n’sownd lajit….

“Thank you all for showing up… and thank you also for not playing to stereotype and wearing Bob Marley t-shirts and rastacaps.”   I waz wareing a bizness soot an teeshirt.. butta left ma L.A.Cap bakk atda homested.

“Thank you all for showing up… and thank you also for not playing to stereotype and wearing Bob Marley t-shirts and rastacaps.”
I waz wareing a bizness soot an teeshirt.. butta left ma L.A.Cap bakk atda homested.

“Also please don’t feel obliged to fake an atrocious Jamaican accent. It’s truly not necessary, especially if you don’t possess one naturally”  Buttah musst akwiesq tooda feelins in mah sole tellin me diss is daweigh. (though I do hope this doesn’t offend anyone, of course. I should say, though, that I recently watched Idris Elba’s movie “Yardie” and genuinely that movie needed English subtitles for the English being spoken in that!)

“Also please don’t feel obliged to fake an atrocious Jamaican accent. It’s truly not necessary, especially if you don’t possess one naturally”
Buttah musst akwiesq tooda feelins in mah sole tellin me diss is daweigh. (though I do hope this doesn’t offend anyone, of course. I should say, though, that I recently watched Idris Elba’s movie “Yardie” and genuinely that movie needed English subtitles for the English being spoken in that!)

“Oh, great. Now I have to change the accent on everyone of these questions I wanted to ask…”  Disfoto be kinda kool mefinks - justabout evry pesson innit be captivatinly posed… speshally da man in da chare in dabak onda left.

“Oh, great. Now I have to change the accent on everyone of these questions I wanted to ask…”
Disfoto be kinda kool mefinks - justabout evry pesson innit be captivatinly posed… speshally da man in da chare in dabak onda left.

“I’m almost certain somebody’s going to make a “Jamaican Me Crazy” pun, and when they do I most certainly will inform security…”  - Well darnit dats enuff tah mehk mi stop! (that and the crazy red squiggly spellcheck words I’m getting put under EVERY word I’m writing…)

“I’m almost certain somebody’s going to make a “Jamaican Me Crazy” pun, and when they do I most certainly will inform security…” - Well darnit dats enuff tah mehk mi stop! (that and the crazy red squiggly spellcheck words I’m getting put under EVERY word I’m writing…)

“I know black’n’white is considered very artistic, but if I find this shirt has been converted to monochrome by any of you people, words - and unpleasant ones - will be spoken” -  Winston McAnuff is in this movie.

“I know black’n’white is considered very artistic, but if I find this shirt has been converted to monochrome by any of you people, words - and unpleasant ones - will be spoken” - Winston McAnuff is in this movie.

“I went with ‘Electric Dread’ until I decided that all things considered, electricity has a hell of a lot going for it. After that I did struggle to find an alternative name to go by.”   Winston MacAnuff did indeed go by the stage name ‘Electric Dread’ - and per the informative wikipedia he had a TWENTY YEAR gap between his 3rd and 4th studio album.

“I went with ‘Electric Dread’ until I decided that all things considered, electricity has a hell of a lot going for it. After that I did struggle to find an alternative name to go by.”
Winston MacAnuff did indeed go by the stage name ‘Electric Dread’ - and per the informative wikipedia he had a TWENTY YEAR gap between his 3rd and 4th studio album.

“Feel free to ask me any question you want. Like… anything. If your dishwasher doesn’t work I can get out my phone and see if I can find some youtube clips to help you out”  The man presently not being interviewed is director Peter Webber.

“Feel free to ask me any question you want. Like… anything. If your dishwasher doesn’t work I can get out my phone and see if I can find some youtube clips to help you out”
The man presently not being interviewed is director Peter Webber.

“Wait… I’m still getting finished with recording this intro…..”  Director Peter Webber is best known for his two Hollywood features : “Hannibal Rising” (2007) and “Girl With A Pearl Earring” (starring an actress I shan’t name, as our blood feud has not yet been settled)

“Wait… I’m still getting finished with recording this intro…..”
Director Peter Webber is best known for his two Hollywood features : “Hannibal Rising” (2007) and “Girl With A Pearl Earring” (starring an actress I shan’t name, as our blood feud has not yet been settled)

“Sure I want to talk about reggae… but first, why would anyone have a blood feud with Scarlett Johansson??”   why indeed .

“Sure I want to talk about reggae… but first, why would anyone have a blood feud with Scarlett Johansson??” why indeed.

“Actually, even out of my peripheral vision I can see you’re holding your phone with literally two fingers, and rather than answer your question, I have several of my own….”

“Actually, even out of my peripheral vision I can see you’re holding your phone with literally two fingers, and rather than answer your question, I have several of my own….”

“The light indicator on the back has a skull-and-crossbones on it… maybe I’d better not push that button?”

“The light indicator on the back has a skull-and-crossbones on it… maybe I’d better not push that button?”

“Frankly, I think reggae has been laid back and casual for far too long. It’s time it started setting fire to cars and punching random people in the face. Also please don’t misquote me….”  Jah9 is in this movie, and has two studio albums and    a youtube channel you should totally check out   .

“Frankly, I think reggae has been laid back and casual for far too long. It’s time it started setting fire to cars and punching random people in the face. Also please don’t misquote me….”
Jah9 is in this movie, and has two studio albums and a youtube channel you should totally check out.

“I have a youtube channel too, you know. I’m not just a pretty shirt”  This is true -    and it’s here   .

“I have a youtube channel too, you know. I’m not just a pretty shirt”
This is true - and it’s here.

“The yellow carpet band is about 15minutes away on a bus, the black 25 minutes away in an uber, and the green is currently being used for an impromptu childrens party and might not get here for another few hours…”

“The yellow carpet band is about 15minutes away on a bus, the black 25 minutes away in an uber, and the green is currently being used for an impromptu childrens party and might not get here for another few hours…”

Sodat woz dat, mahbruvvas an sistahs. Keepda feth, and keep toda peece - an’ I’ll bea seeinya opefully tamarrah forda start of Fritefest, yo!

Til Neckst Tam!

Dafessbook pedge be heah: premieresdotco
Datwittah be heah: berndt2_photo
Anda arkive be heah: archive.