November 28th, 2018.
And so, for the fourth time in four days, London hosted a premiere - Sunday “Ralph Breaks The Internet”, Monday “Aquaman”, yesterday “Mortal Engines”, and today “Creed II”. And for the second time in two days, it rained heavily (and the rain cleared immediately after the premiere was finished) - hooray.
Tomorrow I intend to get some sleep, but for today here’s how it went down:
For the first time ever, the red carpet for a premiere at the BFI Imax wasn’t in the circular ring surrounding the cinema, but the usually disused road leading UNDERNEATH to the cinema. No idea why they’ve never done that before : and a pretty good chance for some elevated photos.
A few hours later, it’s dark, and I’ve had a mocha and pumpkin spice muffin from the cafe at the National Theatre (I heartily recommend both, and I’m not paid to say that).
Screaming dude on the poster says “NO MR IMPACT : YOU GOTTA STOP RHYMING ‘YO WITH ‘YO’ - THAT’S NOT ALLOWED!!!”.
Screaming Poster Sez : “Stop touching that nerve : it’s agonisingly painful!!”
Screaming Poster Sez : “Lady you gotta change that deodourant!!”
“Just gonna stand here waiting for the screaming to start.”
- Our first arrival is Dolph Lundgren, who played Ivan Drago in Rocky IV (and he was also in - and at the premiere of Aquaman on Monday). Sadly, this premiere was not attended by the Silver Vespa himself <tm AlexCatalps / “Michel”> - Sylvester Stallone.
“Wait - this might be the first time Dad has done something cool EVER!! I gotta photograph it and instagram it immediately”
Dolph Lundgren was also He-Man in Masters of the Universe (1987), but outside of the Basil Poledouris soundtrack that is a bit of an acquired taste.
“You want me to record a voice message so you can capture my voice and use it to crack open voice-secured vaults, right?”
”….”
”Because nobody uses voicemail anymore, right?”
“Go on. Ask me Why I’m called That”
For some intriguing (?) reason, according to imdb.com, Florian Munteanu is credited as “Florian “Big Nasty” Munteanu” in the credits of this movie.
“I could punch you for saying that, even though you actually said nothing, but the point is everyone else doesn’t know that and let’s face it, it would be excellent promotion for this film.”
“You’re right. That third ‘Kindergarten Cop’ movie would totally work with Sly in the role. Or Jason Statham, I suppose. He’s good too.” - Dolph Lundgren was in the 2nd, Arnie in the 1st.
“Is that a gang sign? Please tell me it’s just a gang sign and you’re not literally going to kill me right here” - it kind of goes without saying that Florian Munteanu plays the prime (?) antagonist Viktor Drago (Ivan’s son) in this movie.
“You’d better not ever have said, thought, or even been passingly inclined to consider anything negative about me, anyone I know, or anyone who knows anyone I know… or I’ll come up there and extract an apology from you surgically.”
And I suspect Florian Munteanu is not a trained surgeon, either.
“As long as you promise me you’ll straighten that horizon in photoshop before uploading it anywhere, I’ll accept the angle you’re shooting with”
It’s Michael B Jordan! And now that I’ve photographed him I might upload/retcon a ‘genuine’ Black Panther premiere journal to supplement the one that London (apparently) had this year.
“Hey, man. Brexit is your problem, I ain’t gonna help you negotiate that. Also… you voted to leave BEFORE you figured out where you’re going? Interesting choice, there”
- I hypothesise that this is what he said but I should caution that I can’t lip read.
“All right, what is it?”
”Prithee Master, I must inform thee that the goat entrails have spoken, and thou hadst better prepareth….”
”Soothsayers don’t have to talk like that, you know. And seriously - you killed a goat??”
”Actually, No…. I got somebody else to do it….”
Under situations of less rain, I might have stood on the bridge up top and taken longer-range shots, but with the rain I felt it was better to take a central position and keep angles in reserve.
“I have to go back? But I just came from that direction…. it’s not elegant is what I’m saying”
Michael B Jordan played the role of (erm…) “Erik Killmonger” in the 2018 US box office champ ‘Black Panther’. If you haven’t seen the movie, the name might give away that he’s the villain.
“You just remembered the movie Fant4stic, didn’t you? Please don’t”
“I’m going easy on you, but when you tell other people about this fist-bump, you’d better big up the amount of pain and bruising it caused, understand?”
“You’d better not break my heart and misidentify this flag”
”…..”
”One of you guys thought ‘Barbados’, didn’t you?”
“You realise that the last big franchise to hit its eighth episode was Star Wars. You reckon your film is better than The Last Jedi?”
”The last thing I scraped off week-old dishes and put in the garbage was better than that film”
”Can I quote you on that?”
”Nope.”
”……”
”It’s still true, though.”
Steven Caple Jr. is the director of this film.
“You like the colour? You haven’t even seen the rest of the dress yet!”
- Tessa Thompson plays Bianca, Michael B Jordan’s girlfriend’s character, in the movie. She was also Valkyrie in Thor : Ragnarok.
“I’m pretty sure they fell back there somewhere, but if you can’t find my car keys, don’t worry I think they’re letting me use the limo until tomorrow”
“On any other day I’d happily twirl it, but I think the amount of water this dress has soaked up has tripled its weight….”
“I could deck you from over here. Do you doubt it? You should - I don’t have that much reach”
Brigitte Nielsen was in Rocky IV and reprises her role of Ludmilla in this film. She was also in the 1980s Classic “Cobra”, which features one of the most 1980s of soundtracks of the 1980s.
“Nah, I got heaps of time. Let’s watch your pirated copy of this movie right here and now”
“Pirated copy of what, now?”
“This would be slightly more discreet under a nontransparent umbrella”
”And that’s why I wouldn’t do it under those circumstances”
“I’ll admit Ludmilla II wouldn’t have worked as well, or logically within the canon. But don’t think I didn’t lobby hard for it”
“We were always going to go with Creed II… even if the market research showed 80% of the market don’t understand Roman Numerals anymore”
“You were awesome in that movie. Can I get a selfie?”
”Only if you elaborate on the movie….. and maybe not even then”
“Nope, not even then. I’m outta here”
So… that was that. Four premieres in four days, as well as an Ennio Moriccone concert and a Taika Waititi screentalk. No premieres til late next week, now, which I’m almost glad about. And if the premiere I’m thinking of is actually a Gala, it makes Creed II my last premiere (though not event) of the year.
So with a bit more uncertainty than usual… Until Next Time!
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