4 June - The 'Welcome to Curiosity' Premiere

June 4th, 2018.

From 12th April to 4th June, London's premieres have been nothing more than a giant T-Rex, free cheese toasties on a Sunday morning...  and the TV Baftas. It's a drought the likes of which I don't think London's ever suffered through, and it's not exactly like we're expecting The Rains anytime soon. That's why, when the documentary "McQueen" had a premiere announced for today, I decided I'd definitely go. And when it turned out there were no barriers, fans, red carpet or dealers outside the Empire/Cineworld.... I stayed anyway.

.... and here's how something else entirely went down:

(ADVANCE NOTICE : AS AT THE TIME OF UPLOADING I DON'T KNOW WHO ANY OF THESE PEOPLE ARE!!)

 Heading towards the Empire Cinema, which had a security presence but no sign of any fans or carpet or barriers, a chance glance left-wards revealed.... an unexpected crowd, and paparazzi flashes coming from the PRINCE CHARLES Cinema!

Heading towards the Empire Cinema, which had a security presence but no sign of any fans or carpet or barriers, a chance glance left-wards revealed.... an unexpected crowd, and paparazzi flashes coming from the PRINCE CHARLES Cinema!

 You need to understand : there are numerous websites dedicated to promoting movies and announcing premieres in London. Just about all of them had "McQueen" listed and that was a *nothing* premiere. And here, all of a sudden : a premiere that's a REAL premiere, unannounced and yet perfectly formed.

You need to understand : there are numerous websites dedicated to promoting movies and announcing premieres in London. Just about all of them had "McQueen" listed and that was a *nothing* premiere. And here, all of a sudden : a premiere that's a REAL premiere, unannounced and yet perfectly formed.

 Sorry, optimistic bottom-left paparazzi.... but the next person posing in front of that board will NOT be as good looking as the person in front of you....

Sorry, optimistic bottom-left paparazzi.... but the next person posing in front of that board will NOT be as good looking as the person in front of you....

  "Did the guy writing that comment say what he just said, or did he merely write it down?" "I don't know... I wasn't listening"

"Did the guy writing that comment say what he just said, or did he merely write it down?"
"I don't know... I wasn't listening"

  "How can I get my looks of disdain to look so.... so.. .disdainful??"

"How can I get my looks of disdain to look so.... so.. .disdainful??"

  "Capes? Capes are totally back in. Until Edna Mode from The Incredibles tells us that they're not once again, I mean"

"Capes? Capes are totally back in. Until Edna Mode from The Incredibles tells us that they're not once again, I mean"

 Paparazzi on right :  "Must... adjust.... Facebook.... privacy... settings....."

Paparazzi on right : "Must... adjust.... Facebook.... privacy... settings....."

 Not only do I not know who any of these people are, even the vast majority (ie. all) of the sponsors on the posing board are entirely unknown to me. (though I do find the reference to "taffy boy" somewhat soothing as compared to the aggressiveness of "shooting tiger")

Not only do I not know who any of these people are, even the vast majority (ie. all) of the sponsors on the posing board are entirely unknown to me. (though I do find the reference to "taffy boy" somewhat soothing as compared to the aggressiveness of "shooting tiger")

 I feel like I should know who this is. If only because he looks like he'd be pretty angry if I admitted I didn't. So... moving right along...

I feel like I should know who this is. If only because he looks like he'd be pretty angry if I admitted I didn't. So... moving right along...

  "No I will not look where you tell me, and no I will not say 'cheese' if you ask me, and if you make one smart comment about my spiffing blue tie I'll have you shot. That said, thanks for coming here to help us promote our film. We appreciate it."

"No I will not look where you tell me, and no I will not say 'cheese' if you ask me, and if you make one smart comment about my spiffing blue tie I'll have you shot. That said, thanks for coming here to help us promote our film. We appreciate it."

  "You can either stop there or get closer and give me a high-five. I'm easy either way"  True comment : I actually don't know whose hand that is. It doesn't match the skin colour of the guy on the right, and I think the guy on the left is using his left hand to steady his camera. And it's not my hand either...

"You can either stop there or get closer and give me a high-five. I'm easy either way" True comment : I actually don't know whose hand that is. It doesn't match the skin colour of the guy on the right, and I think the guy on the left is using his left hand to steady his camera. And it's not my hand either...

  "Your awesome man-bun disgusts and appalls me" "Why else do you think I kept it?"

"Your awesome man-bun disgusts and appalls me"
"Why else do you think I kept it?"

  "I already asked him if I could have his beret when he's done with it, so don't bother asking"

"I already asked him if I could have his beret when he's done with it, so don't bother asking"

 "I'm holding my camera high and blind above the paparazzi rather than shooting through them) and somehow I've achieved celebrity eye-contact! (By which I mean : my camera has)

"I'm holding my camera high and blind above the paparazzi rather than shooting through them) and somehow I've achieved celebrity eye-contact! (By which I mean : my camera has)

  "Once again we both look awesome" "Shut up, baby. I know it"

"Once again we both look awesome"
"Shut up, baby. I know it"

  "Yes, I absolutely understand that you need that beret to look cool more than I do. But I asked first... what can I say?"

"Yes, I absolutely understand that you need that beret to look cool more than I do. But I asked first... what can I say?"

  "You there! You're awesome! And now that the smalltalk is concluded, let me tell you how you're going to pose!"

"You there! You're awesome! And now that the smalltalk is concluded, let me tell you how you're going to pose!"

 Two paparazzi in front of me, and I get the eye-contact. (Or, yes you're right... once again, the Pentax gets the eye-contact while I'm just here being the clown who pushes the buttons)

Two paparazzi in front of me, and I get the eye-contact. (Or, yes you're right... once again, the Pentax gets the eye-contact while I'm just here being the clown who pushes the buttons)

  "Whatever it is you dropped, let me assure you that under no circumstances should you bend down in front of the paparazzi in an attempt to pick it up. Also, I think it's just a bloodstained five pence piece"

"Whatever it is you dropped, let me assure you that under no circumstances should you bend down in front of the paparazzi in an attempt to pick it up. Also, I think it's just a bloodstained five pence piece"

  "Are we in this movie? Well... we're in A movie. Which movie are YOU talking about?"

"Are we in this movie? Well... we're in A movie. Which movie are YOU talking about?"

  "The seamstress assured me that the pattern would make me more streamlined and reduce drag over a quarter mile..."

"The seamstress assured me that the pattern would make me more streamlined and reduce drag over a quarter mile..."

  "No, seriously. I saw Spider-Man do this, and I'm at least as tall as he is so this should totally work..."

"No, seriously. I saw Spider-Man do this, and I'm at least as tall as he is so this should totally work..."

  "Just humour him and say you believe him... it'll make it all easier"

"Just humour him and say you believe him... it'll make it all easier"

 Totally my favourite all-male acapella group. Unless it turns out they're nuclear physics laureates in which case.... you know... they totally rock then, too.

Totally my favourite all-male acapella group. Unless it turns out they're nuclear physics laureates in which case.... you know... they totally rock then, too.

  "Ya want me to look all innocent and guileless? Okay, wait... let me just put my broker on hold..."

"Ya want me to look all innocent and guileless? Okay, wait... let me just put my broker on hold..."

 ...

...

  "Hey baby, hey baby, hey.... no, not you. The hey baby behind you.... yeah, you"

"Hey baby, hey baby, hey.... no, not you. The hey baby behind you.... yeah, you"

  "Left Shoulda! Right Shoulda! ... I don't care, just look over ANY shoulda!!"

"Left Shoulda! Right Shoulda! ... I don't care, just look over ANY shoulda!!"

  "Truth be told, I only actually know who one of these two women is...."

"Truth be told, I only actually know who one of these two women is...."

  "You're going to have to compliment one of us.... just choose already. "

"You're going to have to compliment one of us.... just choose already."

 Woohoo!!

Woohoo!!

So... that was that. Not the premiere London needed, or necessarily even deserved, but I'm glad I was there . Apparently the director and writer of 'McQueen' did show up at The Empire, but that's not where I ended up being. And I still get to add a new premiere to the Archive of Premieres.

And tomorrow.... is another day.

Until next time!

ps. If you ever want to know when I post one of these journals (and that's pretty rare these days but why not be brave/optimistic?), feel free to follow me on Facebook and/or on Twitter.

  COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE FINISH RENOVATING THE ODEON SO THAT WE CAN HAVE PREMIERES IN LONDON AGAIN??

COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE FINISH RENOVATING THE ODEON SO THAT WE CAN HAVE PREMIERES IN LONDON AGAIN??