premieres.co

26 Nov - The 'Aquaman' World Premiere

November 26th, 2018.

I only got home at midnight tonight (whereas for yesterdays Ralph Breaks The Internet premiere yesterday I was in BED by 10pm)… so much of this journal is/was ‘the best I can do by 1am for a 5am alarm I’m committing to get up for. And there’s also another premiere the next day AND one the day after that.

But you don’t care about that. Like everyone, you care about the DC Cinematic Universe’s latest addition: Aquaman (?). Here’s how it went down:

It’s from the people who brought you all your favourite DC Cinematic Universe Movies, like <insert any movie other than ‘Wonder Woman’> !!!

It’s from the people who brought you all your favourite DC Cinematic Universe Movies, like <insert any movie other than ‘Wonder Woman’> !!!

Yarrrr… she be a fine carpet, placid and blue … but sadly I’ll not be walkin’ upon ye, or be anywhere near ye. I’ve got an 8pm appointment at North Greenwich (Ennio Moriccone concert, ticket purchased months ago). What to do…..

Yarrrr… she be a fine carpet, placid and blue… but sadly I’ll not be walkin’ upon ye, or be anywhere near ye. I’ve got an 8pm appointment at North Greenwich (Ennio Moriccone concert, ticket purchased months ago). What to do…..

While I pondered my options, I found a spot in a nearby cafe that just happened to be overlooking part of the proceedings. The cappuccino was excellent and the pistachio cheesecake outstanding, incidentally.

While I pondered my options, I found a spot in a nearby cafe that just happened to be overlooking part of the proceedings. The cappuccino was excellent and the pistachio cheesecake outstanding, incidentally.

“Well, it’s a strangely metal-gloved arm holding a trident coming out of the ocean… it weird if the dog DIDN’T find it a bit suspicious…”

“Well, it’s a strangely metal-gloved arm holding a trident coming out of the ocean… it weird if the dog DIDN’T find it a bit suspicious…”

When you find the exact pose, angle and lighting for that selfie with Jason Momoa and you just ain’t movin’ for anyone or any reason until that happens.

When you find the exact pose, angle and lighting for that selfie with Jason Momoa and you just ain’t movin’ for anyone or any reason until that happens.

“Is it real, you ask? Well, that depends on what your definition of ‘is’, ‘it’, and ‘real’ is. But it’s yes to at least two of those…”

“Is it real, you ask? Well, that depends on what your definition of ‘is’, ‘it’, and ‘real’ is. But it’s yes to at least two of those…”

“Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Actually… it almost certainly isn’t that guy”

“Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Actually… it almost certainly isn’t that guy”

“Security? I don’t know these people and they’re showing much more familiarity than I’m comfortable with”

“Security? I don’t know these people and they’re showing much more familiarity than I’m comfortable with”

“No, I will not give a high-five to a man with such a cryptic ring configuration. Explain what it means first” -  it’s Jason Momoa : the titular Aquaman himself. I assume he hitched his seahorse outside a nearby saloon (or Lego Store) and ambled onto the carpet leaving wet bootprints in his wake.

“No, I will not give a high-five to a man with such a cryptic ring configuration. Explain what it means first” - it’s Jason Momoa : the titular Aquaman himself. I assume he hitched his seahorse outside a nearby saloon (or Lego Store) and ambled onto the carpet leaving wet bootprints in his wake.

“Yeah, but imma keep callin’ it a fork anyway. You gonna stop me?” ”….” ”I thought not”

“Yeah, but imma keep callin’ it a fork anyway. You gonna stop me?”
”….”
”I thought not”

“You can ask me any question you like, bro. As long as it’s not about the man-bun. Your hairstyle disqualifies you from asking”

“You can ask me any question you like, bro. As long as it’s not about the man-bun. Your hairstyle disqualifies you from asking”

“By having a higher leg cut I can stay dry in shallow water. See? I did come dressed in theme!!”  I have no idea who this is, but I’m comfortable with the colour, even if my camera’s white-balance remains wary.

“By having a higher leg cut I can stay dry in shallow water. See? I did come dressed in theme!!”
I have no idea who this is, but I’m comfortable with the colour, even if my camera’s white-balance remains wary.

“The look of disdainful disinterest on the face of the lady on my left is challenging my self-image, and in a world of sycophantic yes-men and yes-women, it’s refreshing”

“The look of disdainful disinterest on the face of the lady on my left is challenging my self-image, and in a world of sycophantic yes-men and yes-women, it’s refreshing”

“High five? I’m from Hollywood, bro. That’s not how we do them there”  It’s Patrick Wilson! His last superhero outing was    ‘Watchmen’ in 2009   … or perhaps ‘Stoker’ if like me you kind of over-like that movie.

“High five? I’m from Hollywood, bro. That’s not how we do them there”
It’s Patrick Wilson! His last superhero outing was ‘Watchmen’ in 2009… or perhaps ‘Stoker’ if like me you kind of over-like that movie.

“Staying hydrated. So very important”  - I was actually disproportionately pleased to have taken a photo of Jason Momoa taking a sip of water, but then Amber Heard hadn’t shown up yet….

“Staying hydrated. So very important” - I was actually disproportionately pleased to have taken a photo of Jason Momoa taking a sip of water, but then Amber Heard hadn’t shown up yet….

If you only take one photo of Amber Heard framed by light-beams while wearing a shower-cap, why not (a) make it this one, or

If you only take one photo of Amber Heard framed by light-beams while wearing a shower-cap, why not (a) make it this one, or

(b) perhaps this one? Or even more, if the opportunity allows? (I checked my watch at this point, and for another twenty five minutes… it allows)

(b) perhaps this one? Or even more, if the opportunity allows?
(I checked my watch at this point, and for another twenty five minutes… it allows)

“No pressure, but each of these rhinestones was hand-carved and is insured for $25,000. And we went with the No Excess plan….”

“No pressure, but each of these rhinestones was hand-carved and is insured for $25,000. And we went with the No Excess plan….”

“I assume this means you think I’m pretty?” -  I’ve photographed Amber Heard at such premieres as    ‘Mortdecai’   , (briefly)    ‘Black Mass’   , and    'Magic Mike XXL’   . And even though I photographed the stunning    Gal Gadot yesterday   … yeah, Amber Heard is pretty.

“I assume this means you think I’m pretty?” - I’ve photographed Amber Heard at such premieres as ‘Mortdecai’, (briefly) ‘Black Mass’, and 'Magic Mike XXL’. And even though I photographed the stunning Gal Gadot yesterday… yeah, Amber Heard is pretty.

“If I can’t get eye-contact from Amber Heard I might as well hang myself right here and now” ”But she hasn’t even come to our part yet” ”I can’t take that risk, Frank….”

“If I can’t get eye-contact from Amber Heard I might as well hang myself right here and now”
”But she hasn’t even come to our part yet”
”I can’t take that risk, Frank….”

…. every now and then I can’t immediately think of a comment for a photo. All I’ve got is   “nice hat?”   but even behind the pane of glass I’m behind, I don’t want to make a bad impression.

…. every now and then I can’t immediately think of a comment for a photo. All I’ve got is “nice hat?” but even behind the pane of glass I’m behind, I don’t want to make a bad impression.

“I come dressed like this and you wear what you’re wearing that?  I’ve temporarily forgotten the name of the character Amber Heard plays in the movie… I think it doesn’t matter.

“I come dressed like this and you wear what you’re wearing that?
I’ve temporarily forgotten the name of the character Amber Heard plays in the movie… I think it doesn’t matter.

“I thought we’d specially trained those lobsters to carry my dress’ train on the carpet?? …. well, WAKE THEM!!”

“I thought we’d specially trained those lobsters to carry my dress’ train on the carpet??
…. well, WAKE THEM!!”

Is it more important to get (yet another) shot of Amber Heard, or catch the director of the film in focus in a rare moment of exuberance? I… stand by my decision.

Is it more important to get (yet another) shot of Amber Heard, or catch the director of the film in focus in a rare moment of exuberance? I… stand by my decision.

“Don’t even try hand signals with me, dude”  Director James Wan looks all of nineteen years old.  “Azn Genes, baby”  is how one of my (Asian) friends once put it. Me and my vaguely Romanian / Balkan ancestors will get back to you…

“Don’t even try hand signals with me, dude”
Director James Wan looks all of nineteen years old. “Azn Genes, baby” is how one of my (Asian) friends once put it. Me and my vaguely Romanian / Balkan ancestors will get back to you…

“What character do I play in the film? I don’t know… I was mostly wearing dots and standing in front of a green-screen. Maybe a forgetful blue tang called Dory? Or an overly paternal clownfish looking for his son Nemo? The cheque cleared, though, so this movie’s Awesome.”

“What character do I play in the film? I don’t know… I was mostly wearing dots and standing in front of a green-screen. Maybe a forgetful blue tang called Dory? Or an overly paternal clownfish looking for his son Nemo? The cheque cleared, though, so this movie’s Awesome.”

“I’m putting my name onscreen as having directed a DC movie and you call my HAIRSTYLE ‘brave’??”

“I’m putting my name onscreen as having directed a DC movie and you call my HAIRSTYLE ‘brave’??”

“What happened to the guy whose hand had the crazy ring configuration?”  It’s composer Rupert Gregson-Williams!! He also composed the excellent score to last year’s “Wonder Woman”. Assuming it’s not illegal where you are, go onto youtube and listen to    “We Are All To Blame”    -it’s not just true, it’s a great track.

“What happened to the guy whose hand had the crazy ring configuration?”
It’s composer Rupert Gregson-Williams!! He also composed the excellent score to last year’s “Wonder Woman”. Assuming it’s not illegal where you are, go onto youtube and listen to “We Are All To Blame” -it’s not just true, it’s a great track.

“Even the composer scored a full high-five invitation and you’re barely giving me two fingers? What’s that all about?”

“Even the composer scored a full high-five invitation and you’re barely giving me two fingers? What’s that all about?”

“Well… we tried to get the dolphins to sing in unison and that didn’t work because they were out of the water and in some distress, so we tried to sink the orchestra so they were underwater and that didn’t work so well either….. in the end we made a compromise”

“Well… we tried to get the dolphins to sing in unison and that didn’t work because they were out of the water and in some distress, so we tried to sink the orchestra so they were underwater and that didn’t work so well either….. in the end we made a compromise”

“I think he thinks they’re asking him questions about the fourth film in the Expendables franchise” ”But they haven’t made one….” ”That’s what makes it so interesting….”

“I think he thinks they’re asking him questions about the fourth film in the Expendables franchise”
”But they haven’t made one….”
”That’s what makes it so interesting….”

“If this makes me look like I’m auditioning for a gender-swapped Joker role, I will never forgive you…”

“If this makes me look like I’m auditioning for a gender-swapped Joker role, I will never forgive you…”

“… but if I get the role I might.”

“… but if I get the role I might.”

“The Dress kind of goes where it wants…. but okay if it wants to go over here, I’ll follow”

“The Dress kind of goes where it wants…. but okay if it wants to go over here, I’ll follow”

So… that was that. At 6:45pm I headed off to the Northern Line to get to the Jubilee Line and zip across to North Greenwich and the O2 for the Ennio Moriccone concert…. where they let me take in my 40Megapixel Huawei phone, my full-frame 36Megapixel Pentax…. but confiscated my fisheye lens 12Megapixel GOPRO because (and I quote) “it’s a recording device”. Complete idiots, and meanwhile two sweet old ladies near me had their mobile phone on a railing mounted on a mini TRIPOD covered by a programme and they recorded the whole concert and nobody even noticed… (well…. I noticed)

But the point is : I did a World Premiere and a Final London Concert conducted by a 90 year old film scoring legend ON THE SAME NIGHT.

It was excellent, it goes without saying.

It was excellent, it goes without saying.

Until next time!

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21 Nov - The 'Surviving Christmas With the Relatives' World Premiere

November 21st, 2018.

After the behemoth that was the Fantastic Beasts : The Crimes of Grindelwald premiere last week (so big it got a colour and black’n’white journal), and the weekend’s Evening Standard Theatre Awards, London’s sole premiere this week was simultaneously (a) a World Premiere, and (b) officially stated publicly as a “No Impact Event” in Leicester Square.

What could that mean? Here’s how it went down:

As is often the case, the best seats for a premiere featuring no list, no wristbands, and a single public pen with room for less than 20 people on a night where temperatures were due to fall to somewhere around four degrees celsius… was at the friendly local Burger King overlooking at least part of the premiere.

As is often the case, the best seats for a premiere featuring no list, no wristbands, and a single public pen with room for less than 20 people on a night where temperatures were due to fall to somewhere around four degrees celsius… was at the friendly local Burger King overlooking at least part of the premiere.

Stupidly (and/or in the interests of discretion) I did not bring my Nikon into the King of Burgers’ upstairs throne room… instead relying on the Pentax, with its “fools choice” : a sub-par kit-lens with all the autofocus responsiveness of your pet goldfish…. or a great portrait lens without range.

Stupidly (and/or in the interests of discretion) I did not bring my Nikon into the King of Burgers’ upstairs throne room… instead relying on the Pentax, with its “fools choice” : a sub-par kit-lens with all the autofocus responsiveness of your pet goldfish…. or a great portrait lens without range.

“Taking a photo of the side and back of my head with a mobile phone. Well… it’s nice to know some people care about photography”  Patricia Hodge is in this movie, and I’m using a pentax kit lens through a glass window at night… I suspect the insult is roughly on par.

“Taking a photo of the side and back of my head with a mobile phone. Well… it’s nice to know some people care about photography” Patricia Hodge is in this movie, and I’m using a pentax kit lens through a glass window at night… I suspect the insult is roughly on par.

In contrast to many of the guests who will soon grace this small patch of Redness in Leicester Square’s green and pleasant land, actress Gemma Whelan is appropriately attired for the climate. (Though I’m still dressed warmer than she is…. and I’m indoors)

In contrast to many of the guests who will soon grace this small patch of Redness in Leicester Square’s green and pleasant land, actress Gemma Whelan is appropriately attired for the climate. (Though I’m still dressed warmer than she is…. and I’m indoors)

“When we ask for a talent moat and you don’t put in razor wire and a few guard towers, couldn’t you at least put in some piranhas and an actual moat?”  - The lady in purple and the man to her left are in this movie - Ronni Ancona and Michale Landes. I haven’t heard of either of them, but that’s on me, not on them, as they’ve presumably heard of themselves and each other.

“When we ask for a talent moat and you don’t put in razor wire and a few guard towers, couldn’t you at least put in some piranhas and an actual moat?” - The lady in purple and the man to her left are in this movie - Ronni Ancona and Michale Landes. I haven’t heard of either of them, but that’s on me, not on them, as they’ve presumably heard of themselves and each other.

Now they’re letting kids on red carpets? They’ve already invaded my weekend cafes and, last time I was in one, a local pub! Honestly… this country needs to establish some legal heroin shooting galleries just so there’s a public place that screaming kids legally CAN’T be! Anyway I believe these ones are in the movie. They’re probably entitled to be here. Forget I said anything.

Now they’re letting kids on red carpets? They’ve already invaded my weekend cafes and, last time I was in one, a local pub! Honestly… this country needs to establish some legal heroin shooting galleries just so there’s a public place that screaming kids legally CAN’T be! Anyway I believe these ones are in the movie. They’re probably entitled to be here. Forget I said anything.

“So I said… well, I’d better not repeat it here, but rest assured it was clever and highly suggestive yet also easily and plausibly deniable….. And what was the question again that you were asking?”

“So I said… well, I’d better not repeat it here, but rest assured it was clever and highly suggestive yet also easily and plausibly deniable….. And what was the question again that you were asking?”

“Let me put it another way : we dressed like this and it’s four degrees celsius. If you DON’T photograph us, it’s basically a different kind of assault”   I don’t know who they are, but I don’t want to be guilty of assault, or whatever.

“Let me put it another way : we dressed like this and it’s four degrees celsius. If you DON’T photograph us, it’s basically a different kind of assault”
I don’t know who they are, but I don’t want to be guilty of assault, or whatever.

“If they didn’t get my good side, it doesn’t matter, as I can no longer feel my good or my bad side”

“If they didn’t get my good side, it doesn’t matter, as I can no longer feel my good or my bad side”

Almost every person present in this photo is kind of amusing, from the dude in the beret on the top right who isn’t looking at anyone, to the confused lady on the top left, to the lady recoiling in some kind of shock behind a friend… to the presence of a bicycle helmet in the public pen on the bottom centre.

Almost every person present in this photo is kind of amusing, from the dude in the beret on the top right who isn’t looking at anyone, to the confused lady on the top left, to the lady recoiling in some kind of shock behind a friend… to the presence of a bicycle helmet in the public pen on the bottom centre.

“We went to all the trouble of installing a fireplace for people to pose against, and yet it’s non-functional meaning that none of the scantily-clad red carpet posers will derive any relief from the cold. ….. and it sucks that nobody realises it was all part of my evil plan”.

“We went to all the trouble of installing a fireplace for people to pose against, and yet it’s non-functional meaning that none of the scantily-clad red carpet posers will derive any relief from the cold. ….. and it sucks that nobody realises it was all part of my evil plan”.

“If none of y’all are looking, I might just check these stockings and see if Santa got here early”  I don’t know who this is, but I’m fairly certain I’ve seen festive serviettes with the same pattern as her dress.

“If none of y’all are looking, I might just check these stockings and see if Santa got here early”
I don’t know who this is, but I’m fairly certain I’ve seen festive serviettes with the same pattern as her dress.

“Your question is fantastic, and deserves a carefully considered response. But I’m outside and it’s freezing so I’m going to say “square pecan” and let you puzzle it out while I head inside”

“Your question is fantastic, and deserves a carefully considered response. But I’m outside and it’s freezing so I’m going to say “square pecan” and let you puzzle it out while I head inside”

“Interviews are like football : you always shoot at the gap, not the player” ”Did they teach you that on the back of a box of cereal or something?”  - according to the imdb, Michael Landes is best known for the movie “Hooten &amp; The Lady”. Nb. he was the Hooten.

“Interviews are like football : you always shoot at the gap, not the player”
”Did they teach you that on the back of a box of cereal or something?”
- according to the imdb, Michael Landes is best known for the movie “Hooten & The Lady”. Nb. he was the Hooten.

“Honestly, I’m not sure in what direction I should be looking. Can we come to some kind of consensus?”  - I believe the man in the centre is the director, but then I believe in a lot of things.

“Honestly, I’m not sure in what direction I should be looking. Can we come to some kind of consensus?”
- I believe the man in the centre is the director, but then I believe in a lot of things.

“You know how they wrap shock victims in gold or silver foil to keep them warm after accidents? Yeah… this dress doesn’t work that way.”

“You know how they wrap shock victims in gold or silver foil to keep them warm after accidents? Yeah… this dress doesn’t work that way.”

“I really can’t be held responsible for what anyone is wearing on this red carpet, appropriate or otherwise”  - James Dearden didn’t just write and direct this movie, but he was Oscar-nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay for ‘Fatal Attraction (1987)’

“I really can’t be held responsible for what anyone is wearing on this red carpet, appropriate or otherwise” - James Dearden didn’t just write and direct this movie, but he was Oscar-nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay for ‘Fatal Attraction (1987)’

“hey, it’s my Peeps over there!!!”

“hey, it’s my Peeps over there!!!”

“Damn… turns out they weren’t my Peeps over there”  - despite posing for the Paparazzi, signing autographs and being interviewed, I have no idea who this is. Or who her Peeps are.

“Damn… turns out they weren’t my Peeps over there” - despite posing for the Paparazzi, signing autographs and being interviewed, I have no idea who this is. Or who her Peeps are.

So obviously I’m photographing the two dudes facing the photographers in front of the posing wall, and not the lady in the short maroon skirt, semi-translucent mesh top and cow-patterned boots….

So obviously I’m photographing the two dudes facing the photographers in front of the posing wall, and not the lady in the short maroon skirt, semi-translucent mesh top and cow-patterned boots….

Oh, look! They let a cute puppy dog onto the carpet. (Bottom, towards the left) (why, what were YOU looking at?)

Oh, look! They let a cute puppy dog onto the carpet. (Bottom, towards the left)
(why, what were YOU looking at?)

“I would have unbuttoned two, maybe three additional buttons on my shirt if I’d known what the ladies from earlier had endured in order to impress you all….”  - the man with a mere two unbuttoned-shirt top is Nick Hamson, one of the producers of the film.

“I would have unbuttoned two, maybe three additional buttons on my shirt if I’d known what the ladies from earlier had endured in order to impress you all….” - the man with a mere two unbuttoned-shirt top is Nick Hamson, one of the producers of the film.

Now that nobody’s distracted…. it’s a dog. Wearing a handkerchief, I think?

Now that nobody’s distracted…. it’s a dog. Wearing a handkerchief, I think?

“Is he still within earshot? He was lovely to work with…. but tell me when he’s gone and I can tell you some stuff they’ll almost certainly not put onto the DVD extras….”

“Is he still within earshot? He was lovely to work with…. but tell me when he’s gone and I can tell you some stuff they’ll almost certainly not put onto the DVD extras….”

“The story I’m sticking with? Some prick stole my jacket. Does anybody have a furry dog I can hold for the event? Failing that, has anyone got a match I can use to set fire to the tree to keep warm?”  - apparently this is Ellie Brown

“The story I’m sticking with? Some prick stole my jacket. Does anybody have a furry dog I can hold for the event? Failing that, has anyone got a match I can use to set fire to the tree to keep warm?”
- apparently this is Ellie Brown

“Well of course it’s form-fitting. Loose dresses haven’t been in since the 1960s and I’m not nearly brave enough to start the trend to bring them back….”  - apparently this is Olivia Cox.

“Well of course it’s form-fitting. Loose dresses haven’t been in since the 1960s and I’m not nearly brave enough to start the trend to bring them back….” - apparently this is Olivia Cox.

“If course I’m cold. I also note that none of you are clamouring to offer me your beanies or jackets…”  - wireimage identifies this victim of the death of chivarly as Ruby Bhogal.

“If course I’m cold. I also note that none of you are clamouring to offer me your beanies or jackets…” - wireimage identifies this victim of the death of chivarly as Ruby Bhogal.

“I know chivalry’s dead, now. Any chance you’d give up your jacket for Tha Sistahood? ….No?”

“I know chivalry’s dead, now. Any chance you’d give up your jacket for Tha Sistahood? ….No?”

“Exactly HERE is where I’d put the bar heater. Failing that, the bar. With enough cocktails maybe to hold out until the St Bernard with the Hard Stuff comes to rescue me”  Apparently this is Amber Turner

“Exactly HERE is where I’d put the bar heater. Failing that, the bar. With enough cocktails maybe to hold out until the St Bernard with the Hard Stuff comes to rescue me”
Apparently this is Amber Turner

Meanwhile the interior posing board of the Vue cinema contains a row of people I didn’t notice walking on the red carpet. Then again, there’s a remote chance I might have been momentarily distracted for a few moments.

Meanwhile the interior posing board of the Vue cinema contains a row of people I didn’t notice walking on the red carpet. Then again, there’s a remote chance I might have been momentarily distracted for a few moments.

But hey, if I haven’t fulfilled some kind of quota I need to when posting too many shots of ladies in tight clothing or men with insufficiently unbuttoned shirts, here ya go.

But hey, if I haven’t fulfilled some kind of quota I need to when posting too many shots of ladies in tight clothing or men with insufficiently unbuttoned shirts, here ya go.

“Me? Just walking my invisible dog. If you’ve got a problem with that, talk to my invisible lawyer. He’s over there”

“Me? Just walking my invisible dog. If you’ve got a problem with that, talk to my invisible lawyer. He’s over there”

“Maybe I should have expected that the carpet was going to be a near-identical shade of red…”   Joely Richardson, along with being somebody I photographed at    Sunday’s Evening Standard Theatre Awards   , is probably the main cast-drawcard of this film. Excepting the cute dog, and the many scantily dressed guests at its premiere I suppose.

“Maybe I should have expected that the carpet was going to be a near-identical shade of red…”
Joely Richardson, along with being somebody I photographed at Sunday’s Evening Standard Theatre Awards, is probably the main cast-drawcard of this film. Excepting the cute dog, and the many scantily dressed guests at its premiere I suppose.

This is probably the first premiere I’ve been to where the people outside the premiere outnumbered the people inside it; and there were more photographers in the photoraphers’ pen than public in the public pen. (Note : the public pen was actually locked down when it had less than 20 people in it, which might itself have been a record)

This is probably the first premiere I’ve been to where the people outside the premiere outnumbered the people inside it; and there were more photographers in the photoraphers’ pen than public in the public pen. (Note : the public pen was actually locked down when it had less than 20 people in it, which might itself have been a record)

“They serve warm drinks up there don’t they?”  - yes, and in sad news the micro-EasyCoffee place just two shops over from the Vue has closed down. I tried some of their weirder coffees once or twice. They weren’t great but running the business out of town over it seems a bit harsh.

“They serve warm drinks up there don’t they?” - yes, and in sad news the micro-EasyCoffee place just two shops over from the Vue has closed down. I tried some of their weirder coffees once or twice. They weren’t great but running the business out of town over it seems a bit harsh.

“Youse are orright…. insofar as I can judge at this distance and with this little evidence”  It’s Bob Geldof! Or, based on greater-percentage-photographed, its Bob Geldof’s Brown Beret!

“Youse are orright…. insofar as I can judge at this distance and with this little evidence”
It’s Bob Geldof! Or, based on greater-percentage-photographed, its Bob Geldof’s Brown Beret!

“She’s wearing even less dress than I AM!!”  - yes, but wireimage identifies the red dress lady, not the white, as Shelby Tribble.

“She’s wearing even less dress than I AM!!”
- yes, but wireimage identifies the red dress lady, not the white, as Shelby Tribble.

“Tim, I’m standing here on the red carpet, wondering whether it’s morally and karmically right to wish hypothermia and other complications upon supposedly ‘better-dressed’ women on the red carpet. I think I’ve made up my mind, though…. ”

“Tim, I’m standing here on the red carpet, wondering whether it’s morally and karmically right to wish hypothermia and other complications upon supposedly ‘better-dressed’ women on the red carpet. I think I’ve made up my mind, though…. ”

“Thankfully all those insanely under-dressed women have finally gone inside, But if the chattering of their teeth disturbs the screening, I’ll feel no hesitation in turfing them outside…”

“Thankfully all those insanely under-dressed women have finally gone inside, But if the chattering of their teeth disturbs the screening, I’ll feel no hesitation in turfing them outside…”

“So the straw poll of fans online suggests violence, alcohol, drugs, lying and staying with random strangers are the most popular means of Surviving Christmas with ones relatives… anyone care to comment?”

“So the straw poll of fans online suggests violence, alcohol, drugs, lying and staying with random strangers are the most popular means of Surviving Christmas with ones relatives… anyone care to comment?”

“Your cameras all take upwards of 10 frames per second. How many more fractions of a second do we need to stand here for you to get the shot?”

“Your cameras all take upwards of 10 frames per second. How many more fractions of a second do we need to stand here for you to get the shot?”

So… that was that. I took some 4,000 photos from the Burger King, all on the Pentax, most on the kit lens, all on a single battery charge… mainly because the autofocus on the camera struggled so much that ‘sheer quantity’ was the only to attempt to get enough photos together to ‘imply quality’. (are you reading this, PENTAX?). And did it work? Partly. However I took so many photos I didn’t have time to review more than a fraction of them so I’m sure I missed a lot of better shots.

Oh, well… there’s somewhere between 4 and 5 premieres in London on the four days from this Sunday. We’ll see how that goes.

Until next time!

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archive of premieres : here
last three events photographed : Fantastic Beasts 2, Evening Standard Theatre Awards, and The Lord Mayor’s Show.

23 Oct - The 'BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY' World Premiere

October 23rd, 2018.

And so, after just a one day break since 12 consecutive days of premieres of London Film Festival, it’s time (already) for another premiere (#18 in 14 days!) - and it’s a World Premiere, in Wembley, with a Purple carpet and everything.

Here’s how it went down:

The story of how I got my wristband for this premiere would fill a viking saga, and/or be used as testimony against me in a court of law, depending how much of the blood, violence, threats, recrimination, friendship and betrayal was true and how much was hyperbole.

The story of how I got my wristband for this premiere would fill a viking saga, and/or be used as testimony against me in a court of law, depending how much of the blood, violence, threats, recrimination, friendship and betrayal was true and how much was hyperbole.

It’s mild, it’s autumn, and for those interested I am starting to unveil the lineup of beanies I hope to take into the more glamorous premieres in the colder months.

It’s mild, it’s autumn, and for those interested I am starting to unveil the lineup of beanies I hope to take into the more glamorous premieres in the colder months.

“Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger….. Hold on. Wait. There are kids here, are we allowed to be singing these lyrics??”

“Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger….. Hold on. Wait. There are kids here, are we allowed to be singing these lyrics??”

“This hair swish is about as rock’n’roll as I’m willing to get. Or at least for now, until Aiden Gillen shows up. He’s the guy I really want to impress.”

“This hair swish is about as rock’n’roll as I’m willing to get. Or at least for now, until Aiden Gillen shows up. He’s the guy I really want to impress.”

Excellent news : your good friend and mine Hakeem Mr Impact and his tame DJ Nuffin Reely Matterz were officiating in the warm-up, and though a friend of mine coined the term “Bohemian Rap-Rap-Rhapsody”, he never said it. I maintain one of the gold backpacks on offer would have been his had he put it forth.

Excellent news : your good friend and mine Hakeem Mr Impact and his tame DJ Nuffin Reely Matterz were officiating in the warm-up, and though a friend of mine coined the term “Bohemian Rap-Rap-Rhapsody”, he never said it. I maintain one of the gold backpacks on offer would have been his had he put it forth.

The girls on the right were robbed of freeness by their edge-spot in the long secondary pen. They had more kinds of scary exuberance than most.

The girls on the right were robbed of freeness by their edge-spot in the long secondary pen. They had more kinds of scary exuberance than most.

The list for this world premiere is a very impressive one by size : a four by four grid per page, running for at least three pages. And with my spot being side-on to the posing board, and directly along the pathway all the stars would take AND my spot being directly behind the first media interview station all stars would be…. it couldn’t really be any easier.

The list for this world premiere is a very impressive one by size : a four by four grid per page, running for at least three pages. And with my spot being side-on to the posing board, and directly along the pathway all the stars would take AND my spot being directly behind the first media interview station all stars would be…. it couldn’t really be any easier.

I reiterate. COULD. NOT. BE. EASIER. This is my GoPro at probably 2.5metres. Implausible for detailed shooting. But clearly… this thing is less a premiere than an oldschool post-Christmas sale.

I reiterate. COULD. NOT. BE. EASIER.
This is my GoPro at probably 2.5metres. Implausible for detailed shooting. But clearly… this thing is less a premiere than an oldschool post-Christmas sale.

Jim Beach is the only person I was able to photograph long-range to the posing board before The Hordes descended upon the carpet. He is/was the band’s manager.

Jim Beach is the only person I was able to photograph long-range to the posing board before The Hordes descended upon the carpet. He is/was the band’s manager.

Kashmira Bulsara is the late Freddie Mercury’s sister. I suppose a similar precedent was set at the premiere of    The Beatles’ Eight Days A Week    concert film, where ex-wives and relatives attended in place of members unable to attend.

Kashmira Bulsara is the late Freddie Mercury’s sister. I suppose a similar precedent was set at the premiere of The Beatles’ Eight Days A Week concert film, where ex-wives and relatives attended in place of members unable to attend.

“It’s not so much inspired by Freddie as it is a generic, and somewhat ill-timed disguise. Oops.”

“It’s not so much inspired by Freddie as it is a generic, and somewhat ill-timed disguise. Oops.”

“Did it hurt?” ”Not as much as removing the tattoo of Beethoven I used to have there… after which my chamber orchestra colleagues also made me feel really bad.”

“Did it hurt?”
”Not as much as removing the tattoo of Beethoven I used to have there… after which my chamber orchestra colleagues also made me feel really bad.”

“The tickets to see the movie were cheap, but I paid extra to have mine specially embossed”.  I endorse this. Only lame people print out QPR codes or use their mobiles.

“The tickets to see the movie were cheap, but I paid extra to have mine specially embossed”.
I endorse this. Only lame people print out QPR codes or use their mobiles.

Lucy Boynton arrives and I get my first real taste for the mayhem the people in my barely 1-deep pen are capable of. I might even have had a miniature step-stool I briefly stood upon, but when I vacated it even momentarily some girl stood on it and… well…. you try being a dude whose property has been co-opted during the Time’s Up era wanting his stuff back. Dude… I’m part of the patriarchy. I’m pretty sure I’m meant to deserve this.

Lucy Boynton arrives and I get my first real taste for the mayhem the people in my barely 1-deep pen are capable of. I might even have had a miniature step-stool I briefly stood upon, but when I vacated it even momentarily some girl stood on it and… well…. you try being a dude whose property has been co-opted during the Time’s Up era wanting his stuff back. Dude… I’m part of the patriarchy. I’m pretty sure I’m meant to deserve this.

“I have me the enemy, and they are Dealer”  - in retrospect, the layout of the premiere meant that there was no ‘best’ pen - all that weren’t affected by some 5000+ people marching past them or standing wherever they wanted with minimal effort by security to move them on, had limited direct views. The Dealers did okay, though. Please don’t worry about The Dealers.

“I have me the enemy, and they are Dealer” - in retrospect, the layout of the premiere meant that there was no ‘best’ pen - all that weren’t affected by some 5000+ people marching past them or standing wherever they wanted with minimal effort by security to move them on, had limited direct views. The Dealers did okay, though. Please don’t worry about The Dealers.

“This is how they high-five in Hollywood now!!” ”But which of these hands are yours and which ones are mine and what do we do with them?”  - I have photographed Lucy Boynton once before, at the equally massive    World Premiere for ‘Murder on the Orient Express   ’ last year.

“This is how they high-five in Hollywood now!!”
”But which of these hands are yours and which ones are mine and what do we do with them?”
- I have photographed Lucy Boynton once before, at the equally massive World Premiere for ‘Murder on the Orient Express’ last year.

“Are the eye-lashes real? Well, there might be a kind of magic involved.” ”Were you contractually required to use the lyrics of at least one Queen song into your answers?” ”I’m not allowed to say”

“Are the eye-lashes real? Well, there might be a kind of magic involved.”
”Were you contractually required to use the lyrics of at least one Queen song into your answers?”
”I’m not allowed to say”

Good news (for me) - the most reliable angle for my photography currently involves shooting over and through the crowd of the third side of the triangle I’m on the second side of, long range. Generally speaking I prefer long-range at events because (a) there are less people futilely holding up mobile phones to capture such shots, and (b) my Nikon’s autofocus reliably nails focus at that distance, and (c) I like the challenge.

Good news (for me) - the most reliable angle for my photography currently involves shooting over and through the crowd of the third side of the triangle I’m on the second side of, long range. Generally speaking I prefer long-range at events because (a) there are less people futilely holding up mobile phones to capture such shots, and (b) my Nikon’s autofocus reliably nails focus at that distance, and (c) I like the challenge.

Allen Leech plays Freddy Mercury’s manager ‘Paul Prenter’ in the movie, but is arguably best known for being in 45 episodes of Downton Abbey, which I’d like to think features several songs by Queen played discreetly on harpsichord to see if anyone is paying attention.

Allen Leech plays Freddy Mercury’s manager ‘Paul Prenter’ in the movie, but is arguably best known for being in 45 episodes of Downton Abbey, which I’d like to think features several songs by Queen played discreetly on harpsichord to see if anyone is paying attention.

“Shouldn’t you be wearing dark sunglasses?” ”Why?” ”I have it on good authority that the guy you play will turn up wearing sunglasses”  Ben Hardy plays Queen bandmember Roger Taylor in this film.

“Shouldn’t you be wearing dark sunglasses?”
”Why?”
”I have it on good authority that the guy you play will turn up wearing sunglasses”

Ben Hardy plays Queen bandmember Roger Taylor in this film.

“Standing here with me now …. Queen’s very own Roger Taylor!! Meanwhile, I hear Ben Hardy decided to attend the premiere sunglasses-less. I’ll be asking him about that later..”

“Standing here with me now …. Queen’s very own Roger Taylor!! Meanwhile, I hear Ben Hardy decided to attend the premiere sunglasses-less. I’ll be asking him about that later..”

“Curse him and his stylish ways”  Up until seconds ago I had no idea Ben Hardy played ‘Angel’ in    X-Men Apocalypse   .

“Curse him and his stylish ways”
Up until seconds ago I had no idea Ben Hardy played ‘Angel’ in X-Men Apocalypse.

This premiere’s other Queen bandmember in attendance is Brian May, who has been wearing Brian May’s Amazing Hair with considerable aplomb for some time now. I last photographed him wearing the same hair at    this year’s Olivier Awards, I think.

This premiere’s other Queen bandmember in attendance is Brian May, who has been wearing Brian May’s Amazing Hair with considerable aplomb for some time now. I last photographed him wearing the same hair at this year’s Olivier Awards, I think.

“Right now I’m feeling pretty good about the fact that my hair is more Brian May-like than my next guest up here : Gwylim Lee - who plays Brian May in this movie!!”

“Right now I’m feeling pretty good about the fact that my hair is more Brian May-like than my next guest up here : Gwylim Lee - who plays Brian May in this movie!!”

Shooting through the media ain’t as easy at this premiere as I’d hoped. And at the ‘leading’ edge of the pen where I once stood, it quickly got three-deep with people holding up mobile phones that I couldn’t shoot past, or through.

Shooting through the media ain’t as easy at this premiere as I’d hoped. And at the ‘leading’ edge of the pen where I once stood, it quickly got three-deep with people holding up mobile phones that I couldn’t shoot past, or through.

I briefly get a chance to shoot high-and-blind into the interview area and catch a few in-focus shots before she moves into another, more distant spot.

I briefly get a chance to shoot high-and-blind into the interview area and catch a few in-focus shots before she moves into another, more distant spot.

It’s Mike Myers! I’ve never previously photographed him, and I might be ever so slightly more excited than he is about that.

It’s Mike Myers! I’ve never previously photographed him, and I might be ever so slightly more excited than he is about that.

“NO! If you put any more salt than this much into it, it’s not just RUINED, but you might as well burn down the kitchen you’re using to make

“NO! If you put any more salt than this much into it, it’s not just RUINED, but you might as well burn down the kitchen you’re using to make

“Not one of you so-called journalists has asked me about the medal I’m wearing around my neck. Now I ask YOU - do you think I’d be wearing it if I didn’t want to be asked about it??”  Mike Myers is probably still best known for any number of roles in the Austin Powers movies - Austin Powers, Doctor Evil, Fat Bastard…whatever the villain in that third movie was called…

“Not one of you so-called journalists has asked me about the medal I’m wearing around my neck. Now I ask YOU - do you think I’d be wearing it if I didn’t want to be asked about it??”
Mike Myers is probably still best known for any number of roles in the Austin Powers movies - Austin Powers, Doctor Evil, Fat Bastard…whatever the villain in that third movie was called…

“He plays Freddy Mercury’s boyfriend in the movie, his look of Blue Steel is stunning and he’s more stylishly dressed than I am so I won’t be having him up here long : it’s Aaron McCusker!!”

“He plays Freddy Mercury’s boyfriend in the movie, his look of Blue Steel is stunning and he’s more stylishly dressed than I am so I won’t be having him up here long : it’s Aaron McCusker!!”

It’s Rami Malek! He plays Freddie Mercury himself in the film, and he’s probably the one person in the cast this journal really couldn’t have afforded to be without (which is to say : the crowd in our public pen is still milling arond the media corner, and shooting long-range to the stage is still kind of hit-or-miss)

It’s Rami Malek! He plays Freddie Mercury himself in the film, and he’s probably the one person in the cast this journal really couldn’t have afforded to be without (which is to say : the crowd in our public pen is still milling arond the media corner, and shooting long-range to the stage is still kind of hit-or-miss)

I was pretty close to deleting the dual ‘ET’ signs on the interviewer’s microphone, but this mid-range shot that somehow the people in the pen were too cool / oblivious to see was mainly due to them. Also : Rami Malek seems very nice : I’ve photographed him only once before, as a guest at    the “Lost City of Z” premiere   .

I was pretty close to deleting the dual ‘ET’ signs on the interviewer’s microphone, but this mid-range shot that somehow the people in the pen were too cool / oblivious to see was mainly due to them. Also : Rami Malek seems very nice : I’ve photographed him only once before, as a guest at the “Lost City of Z” premiere.

No longer as interested since I’m not saying anything about him, but keeping an ear out just in case. That’s the mark of a professional.

No longer as interested since I’m not saying anything about him, but keeping an ear out just in case. That’s the mark of a professional.

“You play #2, who was subsequently replaced by #3. Were you as hurt by this even as an actor as the character in question?”  - Aiden Gillen plays Queen’s Second Manager, John Reid.

“You play #2, who was subsequently replaced by #3. Were you as hurt by this even as an actor as the character in question?” - Aiden Gillen plays Queen’s Second Manager, John Reid.

“I’ll answer that question as soon as I’ve heard what Aaron says for his. I’m not saying I’ll copy his answer… but maybe I’ll adapt it, changing some of the minor details and elaborating further on some things. I’m an actor. it’s what I do”  - Aiden Gillen is best known for being Petyr ‘Littlefinger’ Baelish across 41 episodes of Game of Thrones.

“I’ll answer that question as soon as I’ve heard what Aaron says for his. I’m not saying I’ll copy his answer… but maybe I’ll adapt it, changing some of the minor details and elaborating further on some things. I’m an actor. it’s what I do” - Aiden Gillen is best known for being Petyr ‘Littlefinger’ Baelish across 41 episodes of Game of Thrones.

“It wasn’t self-bestowed, if that’s what you’re implying. And I hope youre NOT implying…”

“It wasn’t self-bestowed, if that’s what you’re implying. And I hope youre NOT implying…”

Trying to figure out what to do when a girl says she LOOOOOVES bass guitarists from famous bands, and you only play the bass guitarist in a movie about a famous band…… Joseph Mazzello plays Queen bassist Joe Deacon in the film

Trying to figure out what to do when a girl says she LOOOOOVES bass guitarists from famous bands, and you only play the bass guitarist in a movie about a famous band…… Joseph Mazzello plays Queen bassist Joe Deacon in the film

“So they’re letting people stand on barriers at this event?” ”Only if they’re REALLY fans. It helps identify them” ”I see….”

“So they’re letting people stand on barriers at this event?”
”Only if they’re REALLY fans. It helps identify them”
”I see….”

“We’re just to stop talking now and see what the guy does next. Is he scared of heights? Has he somehow gotten stuck? Is he at the wrong premiere and trying to find his way elsewhere? Part of me wants to get him up here and ask. I’m a journalist at heart, Brian. You understand”

“We’re just to stop talking now and see what the guy does next. Is he scared of heights? Has he somehow gotten stuck? Is he at the wrong premiere and trying to find his way elsewhere? Part of me wants to get him up here and ask. I’m a journalist at heart, Brian. You understand”

Rami Malek climbs the stage, and the crowd is stilled…. … except for the excited braying of autograph dealers. I think they want Aiden Gillen at the moment.

Rami Malek climbs the stage, and the crowd is stilled…. … except for the excited braying of autograph dealers. I think they want Aiden Gillen at the moment.

“I took care of it, Alex” ”That’s cool. I just wanted to know what happened to that guy standing on the railings” ”Like I said. I took care of it”

“I took care of it, Alex”
”That’s cool. I just wanted to know what happened to that guy standing on the railings”
”Like I said. I took care of it”

“This kiss for you. Just you, Sir. If anyone else catches it and thinks it’s for them, it’s not. And you’d better hand it over to him”

“This kiss for you. Just you, Sir. If anyone else catches it and thinks it’s for them, it’s not. And you’d better hand it over to him”

And finally….

“They asked me if I wanted to be in a Queen biopic and I said absolutely, as long as I could play the Duchess of York. They told me I was the third person who’d made a similar joke, but they still wanted me in the film. It was a close call, Alex.”

“They asked me if I wanted to be in a Queen biopic and I said absolutely, as long as I could play the Duchess of York. They told me I was the third person who’d made a similar joke, but they still wanted me in the film. It was a close call, Alex.”

So… that was that. A big, impressive, and yet difficult-to-photograph premiere. I came away with some lucky shots, but missed a lot more. Then again, this wasn’t exactly my first rodeo. It just felt like I’d been thrown around a bit more than usual. From here, it’s a bit quieter on the premieres front, though there is one a bit over a week from now to look forward to. My Archive of Premieres does need occasional feeding.

Until next time!

Feel free to follow me on Facebook, whose war on my adblocker is apparently one I’ll be losing as I’m now buffetted by the most trivially chavvy and classless crap facebook insultingly thinks I have any interest in. Or follow me on Twitter, which I’m definitely happier with. Instagram? eh.. I was on it once.