premiere

21 Nov - The 'Surviving Christmas With the Relatives' World Premiere

November 21st, 2018.

After the behemoth that was the Fantastic Beasts : The Crimes of Grindelwald premiere last week (so big it got a colour and black’n’white journal), and the weekend’s Evening Standard Theatre Awards, London’s sole premiere this week was simultaneously (a) a World Premiere, and (b) officially stated publicly as a “No Impact Event” in Leicester Square.

What could that mean? Here’s how it went down:

As is often the case, the best seats for a premiere featuring no list, no wristbands, and a single public pen with room for less than 20 people on a night where temperatures were due to fall to somewhere around four degrees celsius… was at the friendly local Burger King overlooking at least part of the premiere.

As is often the case, the best seats for a premiere featuring no list, no wristbands, and a single public pen with room for less than 20 people on a night where temperatures were due to fall to somewhere around four degrees celsius… was at the friendly local Burger King overlooking at least part of the premiere.

Stupidly (and/or in the interests of discretion) I did not bring my Nikon into the King of Burgers’ upstairs throne room… instead relying on the Pentax, with its “fools choice” : a sub-par kit-lens with all the autofocus responsiveness of your pet goldfish…. or a great portrait lens without range.

Stupidly (and/or in the interests of discretion) I did not bring my Nikon into the King of Burgers’ upstairs throne room… instead relying on the Pentax, with its “fools choice” : a sub-par kit-lens with all the autofocus responsiveness of your pet goldfish…. or a great portrait lens without range.

“Taking a photo of the side and back of my head with a mobile phone. Well… it’s nice to know some people care about photography”  Patricia Hodge is in this movie, and I’m using a pentax kit lens through a glass window at night… I suspect the insult is roughly on par.

“Taking a photo of the side and back of my head with a mobile phone. Well… it’s nice to know some people care about photography” Patricia Hodge is in this movie, and I’m using a pentax kit lens through a glass window at night… I suspect the insult is roughly on par.

In contrast to many of the guests who will soon grace this small patch of Redness in Leicester Square’s green and pleasant land, actress Gemma Whelan is appropriately attired for the climate. (Though I’m still dressed warmer than she is…. and I’m indoors)

In contrast to many of the guests who will soon grace this small patch of Redness in Leicester Square’s green and pleasant land, actress Gemma Whelan is appropriately attired for the climate. (Though I’m still dressed warmer than she is…. and I’m indoors)

“When we ask for a talent moat and you don’t put in razor wire and a few guard towers, couldn’t you at least put in some piranhas and an actual moat?”  - The lady in purple and the man to her left are in this movie - Ronni Ancona and Michale Landes. I haven’t heard of either of them, but that’s on me, not on them, as they’ve presumably heard of themselves and each other.

“When we ask for a talent moat and you don’t put in razor wire and a few guard towers, couldn’t you at least put in some piranhas and an actual moat?” - The lady in purple and the man to her left are in this movie - Ronni Ancona and Michale Landes. I haven’t heard of either of them, but that’s on me, not on them, as they’ve presumably heard of themselves and each other.

Now they’re letting kids on red carpets? They’ve already invaded my weekend cafes and, last time I was in one, a local pub! Honestly… this country needs to establish some legal heroin shooting galleries just so there’s a public place that screaming kids legally CAN’T be! Anyway I believe these ones are in the movie. They’re probably entitled to be here. Forget I said anything.

Now they’re letting kids on red carpets? They’ve already invaded my weekend cafes and, last time I was in one, a local pub! Honestly… this country needs to establish some legal heroin shooting galleries just so there’s a public place that screaming kids legally CAN’T be! Anyway I believe these ones are in the movie. They’re probably entitled to be here. Forget I said anything.

“So I said… well, I’d better not repeat it here, but rest assured it was clever and highly suggestive yet also easily and plausibly deniable….. And what was the question again that you were asking?”

“So I said… well, I’d better not repeat it here, but rest assured it was clever and highly suggestive yet also easily and plausibly deniable….. And what was the question again that you were asking?”

“Let me put it another way : we dressed like this and it’s four degrees celsius. If you DON’T photograph us, it’s basically a different kind of assault”   I don’t know who they are, but I don’t want to be guilty of assault, or whatever.

“Let me put it another way : we dressed like this and it’s four degrees celsius. If you DON’T photograph us, it’s basically a different kind of assault”
I don’t know who they are, but I don’t want to be guilty of assault, or whatever.

“If they didn’t get my good side, it doesn’t matter, as I can no longer feel my good or my bad side”

“If they didn’t get my good side, it doesn’t matter, as I can no longer feel my good or my bad side”

Almost every person present in this photo is kind of amusing, from the dude in the beret on the top right who isn’t looking at anyone, to the confused lady on the top left, to the lady recoiling in some kind of shock behind a friend… to the presence of a bicycle helmet in the public pen on the bottom centre.

Almost every person present in this photo is kind of amusing, from the dude in the beret on the top right who isn’t looking at anyone, to the confused lady on the top left, to the lady recoiling in some kind of shock behind a friend… to the presence of a bicycle helmet in the public pen on the bottom centre.

“We went to all the trouble of installing a fireplace for people to pose against, and yet it’s non-functional meaning that none of the scantily-clad red carpet posers will derive any relief from the cold. ….. and it sucks that nobody realises it was all part of my evil plan”.

“We went to all the trouble of installing a fireplace for people to pose against, and yet it’s non-functional meaning that none of the scantily-clad red carpet posers will derive any relief from the cold. ….. and it sucks that nobody realises it was all part of my evil plan”.

“If none of y’all are looking, I might just check these stockings and see if Santa got here early”  I don’t know who this is, but I’m fairly certain I’ve seen festive serviettes with the same pattern as her dress.

“If none of y’all are looking, I might just check these stockings and see if Santa got here early”
I don’t know who this is, but I’m fairly certain I’ve seen festive serviettes with the same pattern as her dress.

“Your question is fantastic, and deserves a carefully considered response. But I’m outside and it’s freezing so I’m going to say “square pecan” and let you puzzle it out while I head inside”

“Your question is fantastic, and deserves a carefully considered response. But I’m outside and it’s freezing so I’m going to say “square pecan” and let you puzzle it out while I head inside”

“Interviews are like football : you always shoot at the gap, not the player” ”Did they teach you that on the back of a box of cereal or something?”  - according to the imdb, Michael Landes is best known for the movie “Hooten & The Lady”. Nb. he was the Hooten.

“Interviews are like football : you always shoot at the gap, not the player”
”Did they teach you that on the back of a box of cereal or something?”
- according to the imdb, Michael Landes is best known for the movie “Hooten & The Lady”. Nb. he was the Hooten.

“Honestly, I’m not sure in what direction I should be looking. Can we come to some kind of consensus?”  - I believe the man in the centre is the director, but then I believe in a lot of things.

“Honestly, I’m not sure in what direction I should be looking. Can we come to some kind of consensus?”
- I believe the man in the centre is the director, but then I believe in a lot of things.

“You know how they wrap shock victims in gold or silver foil to keep them warm after accidents? Yeah… this dress doesn’t work that way.”

“You know how they wrap shock victims in gold or silver foil to keep them warm after accidents? Yeah… this dress doesn’t work that way.”

“I really can’t be held responsible for what anyone is wearing on this red carpet, appropriate or otherwise”  - James Dearden didn’t just write and direct this movie, but he was Oscar-nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay for ‘Fatal Attraction (1987)’

“I really can’t be held responsible for what anyone is wearing on this red carpet, appropriate or otherwise” - James Dearden didn’t just write and direct this movie, but he was Oscar-nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay for ‘Fatal Attraction (1987)’

“hey, it’s my Peeps over there!!!”

“hey, it’s my Peeps over there!!!”

“Damn… turns out they weren’t my Peeps over there”  - despite posing for the Paparazzi, signing autographs and being interviewed, I have no idea who this is. Or who her Peeps are.

“Damn… turns out they weren’t my Peeps over there” - despite posing for the Paparazzi, signing autographs and being interviewed, I have no idea who this is. Or who her Peeps are.

So obviously I’m photographing the two dudes facing the photographers in front of the posing wall, and not the lady in the short maroon skirt, semi-translucent mesh top and cow-patterned boots….

So obviously I’m photographing the two dudes facing the photographers in front of the posing wall, and not the lady in the short maroon skirt, semi-translucent mesh top and cow-patterned boots….

Oh, look! They let a cute puppy dog onto the carpet. (Bottom, towards the left) (why, what were YOU looking at?)

Oh, look! They let a cute puppy dog onto the carpet. (Bottom, towards the left)
(why, what were YOU looking at?)

“I would have unbuttoned two, maybe three additional buttons on my shirt if I’d known what the ladies from earlier had endured in order to impress you all….”  - the man with a mere two unbuttoned-shirt top is Nick Hamson, one of the producers of the film.

“I would have unbuttoned two, maybe three additional buttons on my shirt if I’d known what the ladies from earlier had endured in order to impress you all….” - the man with a mere two unbuttoned-shirt top is Nick Hamson, one of the producers of the film.

Now that nobody’s distracted…. it’s a dog. Wearing a handkerchief, I think?

Now that nobody’s distracted…. it’s a dog. Wearing a handkerchief, I think?

“Is he still within earshot? He was lovely to work with…. but tell me when he’s gone and I can tell you some stuff they’ll almost certainly not put onto the DVD extras….”

“Is he still within earshot? He was lovely to work with…. but tell me when he’s gone and I can tell you some stuff they’ll almost certainly not put onto the DVD extras….”

“The story I’m sticking with? Some prick stole my jacket. Does anybody have a furry dog I can hold for the event? Failing that, has anyone got a match I can use to set fire to the tree to keep warm?”  - apparently this is Ellie Brown

“The story I’m sticking with? Some prick stole my jacket. Does anybody have a furry dog I can hold for the event? Failing that, has anyone got a match I can use to set fire to the tree to keep warm?”
- apparently this is Ellie Brown

“Well of course it’s form-fitting. Loose dresses haven’t been in since the 1960s and I’m not nearly brave enough to start the trend to bring them back….”  - apparently this is Olivia Cox.

“Well of course it’s form-fitting. Loose dresses haven’t been in since the 1960s and I’m not nearly brave enough to start the trend to bring them back….” - apparently this is Olivia Cox.

“If course I’m cold. I also note that none of you are clamouring to offer me your beanies or jackets…”  - wireimage identifies this victim of the death of chivarly as Ruby Bhogal.

“If course I’m cold. I also note that none of you are clamouring to offer me your beanies or jackets…” - wireimage identifies this victim of the death of chivarly as Ruby Bhogal.

“I know chivalry’s dead, now. Any chance you’d give up your jacket for Tha Sistahood? ….No?”

“I know chivalry’s dead, now. Any chance you’d give up your jacket for Tha Sistahood? ….No?”

“Exactly HERE is where I’d put the bar heater. Failing that, the bar. With enough cocktails maybe to hold out until the St Bernard with the Hard Stuff comes to rescue me”  Apparently this is Amber Turner

“Exactly HERE is where I’d put the bar heater. Failing that, the bar. With enough cocktails maybe to hold out until the St Bernard with the Hard Stuff comes to rescue me”
Apparently this is Amber Turner

Meanwhile the interior posing board of the Vue cinema contains a row of people I didn’t notice walking on the red carpet. Then again, there’s a remote chance I might have been momentarily distracted for a few moments.

Meanwhile the interior posing board of the Vue cinema contains a row of people I didn’t notice walking on the red carpet. Then again, there’s a remote chance I might have been momentarily distracted for a few moments.

But hey, if I haven’t fulfilled some kind of quota I need to when posting too many shots of ladies in tight clothing or men with insufficiently unbuttoned shirts, here ya go.

But hey, if I haven’t fulfilled some kind of quota I need to when posting too many shots of ladies in tight clothing or men with insufficiently unbuttoned shirts, here ya go.

“Me? Just walking my invisible dog. If you’ve got a problem with that, talk to my invisible lawyer. He’s over there”

“Me? Just walking my invisible dog. If you’ve got a problem with that, talk to my invisible lawyer. He’s over there”

“Maybe I should have expected that the carpet was going to be a near-identical shade of red…”   Joely Richardson, along with being somebody I photographed at    Sunday’s Evening Standard Theatre Awards   , is probably the main cast-drawcard of this film. Excepting the cute dog, and the many scantily dressed guests at its premiere I suppose.

“Maybe I should have expected that the carpet was going to be a near-identical shade of red…”
Joely Richardson, along with being somebody I photographed at Sunday’s Evening Standard Theatre Awards, is probably the main cast-drawcard of this film. Excepting the cute dog, and the many scantily dressed guests at its premiere I suppose.

This is probably the first premiere I’ve been to where the people outside the premiere outnumbered the people inside it; and there were more photographers in the photoraphers’ pen than public in the public pen. (Note : the public pen was actually locked down when it had less than 20 people in it, which might itself have been a record)

This is probably the first premiere I’ve been to where the people outside the premiere outnumbered the people inside it; and there were more photographers in the photoraphers’ pen than public in the public pen. (Note : the public pen was actually locked down when it had less than 20 people in it, which might itself have been a record)

“They serve warm drinks up there don’t they?”  - yes, and in sad news the micro-EasyCoffee place just two shops over from the Vue has closed down. I tried some of their weirder coffees once or twice. They weren’t great but running the business out of town over it seems a bit harsh.

“They serve warm drinks up there don’t they?” - yes, and in sad news the micro-EasyCoffee place just two shops over from the Vue has closed down. I tried some of their weirder coffees once or twice. They weren’t great but running the business out of town over it seems a bit harsh.

“Youse are orright…. insofar as I can judge at this distance and with this little evidence”  It’s Bob Geldof! Or, based on greater-percentage-photographed, its Bob Geldof’s Brown Beret!

“Youse are orright…. insofar as I can judge at this distance and with this little evidence”
It’s Bob Geldof! Or, based on greater-percentage-photographed, its Bob Geldof’s Brown Beret!

“She’s wearing even less dress than I AM!!”  - yes, but wireimage identifies the red dress lady, not the white, as Shelby Tribble.

“She’s wearing even less dress than I AM!!”
- yes, but wireimage identifies the red dress lady, not the white, as Shelby Tribble.

“Tim, I’m standing here on the red carpet, wondering whether it’s morally and karmically right to wish hypothermia and other complications upon supposedly ‘better-dressed’ women on the red carpet. I think I’ve made up my mind, though…. ”

“Tim, I’m standing here on the red carpet, wondering whether it’s morally and karmically right to wish hypothermia and other complications upon supposedly ‘better-dressed’ women on the red carpet. I think I’ve made up my mind, though…. ”

“Thankfully all those insanely under-dressed women have finally gone inside, But if the chattering of their teeth disturbs the screening, I’ll feel no hesitation in turfing them outside…”

“Thankfully all those insanely under-dressed women have finally gone inside, But if the chattering of their teeth disturbs the screening, I’ll feel no hesitation in turfing them outside…”

“So the straw poll of fans online suggests violence, alcohol, drugs, lying and staying with random strangers are the most popular means of Surviving Christmas with ones relatives… anyone care to comment?”

“So the straw poll of fans online suggests violence, alcohol, drugs, lying and staying with random strangers are the most popular means of Surviving Christmas with ones relatives… anyone care to comment?”

“Your cameras all take upwards of 10 frames per second. How many more fractions of a second do we need to stand here for you to get the shot?”

“Your cameras all take upwards of 10 frames per second. How many more fractions of a second do we need to stand here for you to get the shot?”

So… that was that. I took some 4,000 photos from the Burger King, all on the Pentax, most on the kit lens, all on a single battery charge… mainly because the autofocus on the camera struggled so much that ‘sheer quantity’ was the only to attempt to get enough photos together to ‘imply quality’. (are you reading this, PENTAX?). And did it work? Partly. However I took so many photos I didn’t have time to review more than a fraction of them so I’m sure I missed a lot of better shots.

Oh, well… there’s somewhere between 4 and 5 premieres in London on the four days from this Sunday. We’ll see how that goes.

Until next time!

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last three events photographed : Fantastic Beasts 2, Evening Standard Theatre Awards, and The Lord Mayor’s Show.

23 Oct - The 'BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY' World Premiere

October 23rd, 2018.

And so, after just a one day break since 12 consecutive days of premieres of London Film Festival, it’s time (already) for another premiere (#18 in 14 days!) - and it’s a World Premiere, in Wembley, with a Purple carpet and everything.

Here’s how it went down:

The story of how I got my wristband for this premiere would fill a viking saga, and/or be used as testimony against me in a court of law, depending how much of the blood, violence, threats, recrimination, friendship and betrayal was true and how much was hyperbole.

The story of how I got my wristband for this premiere would fill a viking saga, and/or be used as testimony against me in a court of law, depending how much of the blood, violence, threats, recrimination, friendship and betrayal was true and how much was hyperbole.

It’s mild, it’s autumn, and for those interested I am starting to unveil the lineup of beanies I hope to take into the more glamorous premieres in the colder months.

It’s mild, it’s autumn, and for those interested I am starting to unveil the lineup of beanies I hope to take into the more glamorous premieres in the colder months.

“Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger….. Hold on. Wait. There are kids here, are we allowed to be singing these lyrics??”

“Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger….. Hold on. Wait. There are kids here, are we allowed to be singing these lyrics??”

“This hair swish is about as rock’n’roll as I’m willing to get. Or at least for now, until Aiden Gillen shows up. He’s the guy I really want to impress.”

“This hair swish is about as rock’n’roll as I’m willing to get. Or at least for now, until Aiden Gillen shows up. He’s the guy I really want to impress.”

Excellent news : your good friend and mine Hakeem Mr Impact and his tame DJ Nuffin Reely Matterz were officiating in the warm-up, and though a friend of mine coined the term “Bohemian Rap-Rap-Rhapsody”, he never said it. I maintain one of the gold backpacks on offer would have been his had he put it forth.

Excellent news : your good friend and mine Hakeem Mr Impact and his tame DJ Nuffin Reely Matterz were officiating in the warm-up, and though a friend of mine coined the term “Bohemian Rap-Rap-Rhapsody”, he never said it. I maintain one of the gold backpacks on offer would have been his had he put it forth.

The girls on the right were robbed of freeness by their edge-spot in the long secondary pen. They had more kinds of scary exuberance than most.

The girls on the right were robbed of freeness by their edge-spot in the long secondary pen. They had more kinds of scary exuberance than most.

The list for this world premiere is a very impressive one by size : a four by four grid per page, running for at least three pages. And with my spot being side-on to the posing board, and directly along the pathway all the stars would take AND my spot being directly behind the first media interview station all stars would be…. it couldn’t really be any easier.

The list for this world premiere is a very impressive one by size : a four by four grid per page, running for at least three pages. And with my spot being side-on to the posing board, and directly along the pathway all the stars would take AND my spot being directly behind the first media interview station all stars would be…. it couldn’t really be any easier.

I reiterate. COULD. NOT. BE. EASIER. This is my GoPro at probably 2.5metres. Implausible for detailed shooting. But clearly… this thing is less a premiere than an oldschool post-Christmas sale.

I reiterate. COULD. NOT. BE. EASIER.
This is my GoPro at probably 2.5metres. Implausible for detailed shooting. But clearly… this thing is less a premiere than an oldschool post-Christmas sale.

Jim Beach is the only person I was able to photograph long-range to the posing board before The Hordes descended upon the carpet. He is/was the band’s manager.

Jim Beach is the only person I was able to photograph long-range to the posing board before The Hordes descended upon the carpet. He is/was the band’s manager.

Kashmira Bulsara is the late Freddie Mercury’s sister. I suppose a similar precedent was set at the premiere of    The Beatles’ Eight Days A Week    concert film, where ex-wives and relatives attended in place of members unable to attend.

Kashmira Bulsara is the late Freddie Mercury’s sister. I suppose a similar precedent was set at the premiere of The Beatles’ Eight Days A Week concert film, where ex-wives and relatives attended in place of members unable to attend.

“It’s not so much inspired by Freddie as it is a generic, and somewhat ill-timed disguise. Oops.”

“It’s not so much inspired by Freddie as it is a generic, and somewhat ill-timed disguise. Oops.”

“Did it hurt?” ”Not as much as removing the tattoo of Beethoven I used to have there… after which my chamber orchestra colleagues also made me feel really bad.”

“Did it hurt?”
”Not as much as removing the tattoo of Beethoven I used to have there… after which my chamber orchestra colleagues also made me feel really bad.”

“The tickets to see the movie were cheap, but I paid extra to have mine specially embossed”.  I endorse this. Only lame people print out QPR codes or use their mobiles.

“The tickets to see the movie were cheap, but I paid extra to have mine specially embossed”.
I endorse this. Only lame people print out QPR codes or use their mobiles.

Lucy Boynton arrives and I get my first real taste for the mayhem the people in my barely 1-deep pen are capable of. I might even have had a miniature step-stool I briefly stood upon, but when I vacated it even momentarily some girl stood on it and… well…. you try being a dude whose property has been co-opted during the Time’s Up era wanting his stuff back. Dude… I’m part of the patriarchy. I’m pretty sure I’m meant to deserve this.

Lucy Boynton arrives and I get my first real taste for the mayhem the people in my barely 1-deep pen are capable of. I might even have had a miniature step-stool I briefly stood upon, but when I vacated it even momentarily some girl stood on it and… well…. you try being a dude whose property has been co-opted during the Time’s Up era wanting his stuff back. Dude… I’m part of the patriarchy. I’m pretty sure I’m meant to deserve this.

“I have me the enemy, and they are Dealer”  - in retrospect, the layout of the premiere meant that there was no ‘best’ pen - all that weren’t affected by some 5000+ people marching past them or standing wherever they wanted with minimal effort by security to move them on, had limited direct views. The Dealers did okay, though. Please don’t worry about The Dealers.

“I have me the enemy, and they are Dealer” - in retrospect, the layout of the premiere meant that there was no ‘best’ pen - all that weren’t affected by some 5000+ people marching past them or standing wherever they wanted with minimal effort by security to move them on, had limited direct views. The Dealers did okay, though. Please don’t worry about The Dealers.

“This is how they high-five in Hollywood now!!” ”But which of these hands are yours and which ones are mine and what do we do with them?”  - I have photographed Lucy Boynton once before, at the equally massive    World Premiere for ‘Murder on the Orient Express   ’ last year.

“This is how they high-five in Hollywood now!!”
”But which of these hands are yours and which ones are mine and what do we do with them?”
- I have photographed Lucy Boynton once before, at the equally massive World Premiere for ‘Murder on the Orient Express’ last year.

“Are the eye-lashes real? Well, there might be a kind of magic involved.” ”Were you contractually required to use the lyrics of at least one Queen song into your answers?” ”I’m not allowed to say”

“Are the eye-lashes real? Well, there might be a kind of magic involved.”
”Were you contractually required to use the lyrics of at least one Queen song into your answers?”
”I’m not allowed to say”

Good news (for me) - the most reliable angle for my photography currently involves shooting over and through the crowd of the third side of the triangle I’m on the second side of, long range. Generally speaking I prefer long-range at events because (a) there are less people futilely holding up mobile phones to capture such shots, and (b) my Nikon’s autofocus reliably nails focus at that distance, and (c) I like the challenge.

Good news (for me) - the most reliable angle for my photography currently involves shooting over and through the crowd of the third side of the triangle I’m on the second side of, long range. Generally speaking I prefer long-range at events because (a) there are less people futilely holding up mobile phones to capture such shots, and (b) my Nikon’s autofocus reliably nails focus at that distance, and (c) I like the challenge.

Allen Leech plays Freddy Mercury’s manager ‘Paul Prenter’ in the movie, but is arguably best known for being in 45 episodes of Downton Abbey, which I’d like to think features several songs by Queen played discreetly on harpsichord to see if anyone is paying attention.

Allen Leech plays Freddy Mercury’s manager ‘Paul Prenter’ in the movie, but is arguably best known for being in 45 episodes of Downton Abbey, which I’d like to think features several songs by Queen played discreetly on harpsichord to see if anyone is paying attention.

“Shouldn’t you be wearing dark sunglasses?” ”Why?” ”I have it on good authority that the guy you play will turn up wearing sunglasses”  Ben Hardy plays Queen bandmember Roger Taylor in this film.

“Shouldn’t you be wearing dark sunglasses?”
”Why?”
”I have it on good authority that the guy you play will turn up wearing sunglasses”

Ben Hardy plays Queen bandmember Roger Taylor in this film.

“Standing here with me now …. Queen’s very own Roger Taylor!! Meanwhile, I hear Ben Hardy decided to attend the premiere sunglasses-less. I’ll be asking him about that later..”

“Standing here with me now …. Queen’s very own Roger Taylor!! Meanwhile, I hear Ben Hardy decided to attend the premiere sunglasses-less. I’ll be asking him about that later..”

“Curse him and his stylish ways”  Up until seconds ago I had no idea Ben Hardy played ‘Angel’ in    X-Men Apocalypse   .

“Curse him and his stylish ways”
Up until seconds ago I had no idea Ben Hardy played ‘Angel’ in X-Men Apocalypse.

This premiere’s other Queen bandmember in attendance is Brian May, who has been wearing Brian May’s Amazing Hair with considerable aplomb for some time now. I last photographed him wearing the same hair at    this year’s Olivier Awards, I think.

This premiere’s other Queen bandmember in attendance is Brian May, who has been wearing Brian May’s Amazing Hair with considerable aplomb for some time now. I last photographed him wearing the same hair at this year’s Olivier Awards, I think.

“Right now I’m feeling pretty good about the fact that my hair is more Brian May-like than my next guest up here : Gwylim Lee - who plays Brian May in this movie!!”

“Right now I’m feeling pretty good about the fact that my hair is more Brian May-like than my next guest up here : Gwylim Lee - who plays Brian May in this movie!!”

Shooting through the media ain’t as easy at this premiere as I’d hoped. And at the ‘leading’ edge of the pen where I once stood, it quickly got three-deep with people holding up mobile phones that I couldn’t shoot past, or through.

Shooting through the media ain’t as easy at this premiere as I’d hoped. And at the ‘leading’ edge of the pen where I once stood, it quickly got three-deep with people holding up mobile phones that I couldn’t shoot past, or through.

I briefly get a chance to shoot high-and-blind into the interview area and catch a few in-focus shots before she moves into another, more distant spot.

I briefly get a chance to shoot high-and-blind into the interview area and catch a few in-focus shots before she moves into another, more distant spot.

It’s Mike Myers! I’ve never previously photographed him, and I might be ever so slightly more excited than he is about that.

It’s Mike Myers! I’ve never previously photographed him, and I might be ever so slightly more excited than he is about that.

“NO! If you put any more salt than this much into it, it’s not just RUINED, but you might as well burn down the kitchen you’re using to make

“NO! If you put any more salt than this much into it, it’s not just RUINED, but you might as well burn down the kitchen you’re using to make

“Not one of you so-called journalists has asked me about the medal I’m wearing around my neck. Now I ask YOU - do you think I’d be wearing it if I didn’t want to be asked about it??”  Mike Myers is probably still best known for any number of roles in the Austin Powers movies - Austin Powers, Doctor Evil, Fat Bastard…whatever the villain in that third movie was called…

“Not one of you so-called journalists has asked me about the medal I’m wearing around my neck. Now I ask YOU - do you think I’d be wearing it if I didn’t want to be asked about it??”
Mike Myers is probably still best known for any number of roles in the Austin Powers movies - Austin Powers, Doctor Evil, Fat Bastard…whatever the villain in that third movie was called…

“He plays Freddy Mercury’s boyfriend in the movie, his look of Blue Steel is stunning and he’s more stylishly dressed than I am so I won’t be having him up here long : it’s Aaron McCusker!!”

“He plays Freddy Mercury’s boyfriend in the movie, his look of Blue Steel is stunning and he’s more stylishly dressed than I am so I won’t be having him up here long : it’s Aaron McCusker!!”

It’s Rami Malek! He plays Freddie Mercury himself in the film, and he’s probably the one person in the cast this journal really couldn’t have afforded to be without (which is to say : the crowd in our public pen is still milling arond the media corner, and shooting long-range to the stage is still kind of hit-or-miss)

It’s Rami Malek! He plays Freddie Mercury himself in the film, and he’s probably the one person in the cast this journal really couldn’t have afforded to be without (which is to say : the crowd in our public pen is still milling arond the media corner, and shooting long-range to the stage is still kind of hit-or-miss)

I was pretty close to deleting the dual ‘ET’ signs on the interviewer’s microphone, but this mid-range shot that somehow the people in the pen were too cool / oblivious to see was mainly due to them. Also : Rami Malek seems very nice : I’ve photographed him only once before, as a guest at    the “Lost City of Z” premiere   .

I was pretty close to deleting the dual ‘ET’ signs on the interviewer’s microphone, but this mid-range shot that somehow the people in the pen were too cool / oblivious to see was mainly due to them. Also : Rami Malek seems very nice : I’ve photographed him only once before, as a guest at the “Lost City of Z” premiere.

No longer as interested since I’m not saying anything about him, but keeping an ear out just in case. That’s the mark of a professional.

No longer as interested since I’m not saying anything about him, but keeping an ear out just in case. That’s the mark of a professional.

“You play #2, who was subsequently replaced by #3. Were you as hurt by this even as an actor as the character in question?”  - Aiden Gillen plays Queen’s Second Manager, John Reid.

“You play #2, who was subsequently replaced by #3. Were you as hurt by this even as an actor as the character in question?” - Aiden Gillen plays Queen’s Second Manager, John Reid.

“I’ll answer that question as soon as I’ve heard what Aaron says for his. I’m not saying I’ll copy his answer… but maybe I’ll adapt it, changing some of the minor details and elaborating further on some things. I’m an actor. it’s what I do”  - Aiden Gillen is best known for being Petyr ‘Littlefinger’ Baelish across 41 episodes of Game of Thrones.

“I’ll answer that question as soon as I’ve heard what Aaron says for his. I’m not saying I’ll copy his answer… but maybe I’ll adapt it, changing some of the minor details and elaborating further on some things. I’m an actor. it’s what I do” - Aiden Gillen is best known for being Petyr ‘Littlefinger’ Baelish across 41 episodes of Game of Thrones.

“It wasn’t self-bestowed, if that’s what you’re implying. And I hope youre NOT implying…”

“It wasn’t self-bestowed, if that’s what you’re implying. And I hope youre NOT implying…”

Trying to figure out what to do when a girl says she LOOOOOVES bass guitarists from famous bands, and you only play the bass guitarist in a movie about a famous band…… Joseph Mazzello plays Queen bassist Joe Deacon in the film

Trying to figure out what to do when a girl says she LOOOOOVES bass guitarists from famous bands, and you only play the bass guitarist in a movie about a famous band…… Joseph Mazzello plays Queen bassist Joe Deacon in the film

“So they’re letting people stand on barriers at this event?” ”Only if they’re REALLY fans. It helps identify them” ”I see….”

“So they’re letting people stand on barriers at this event?”
”Only if they’re REALLY fans. It helps identify them”
”I see….”

“We’re just to stop talking now and see what the guy does next. Is he scared of heights? Has he somehow gotten stuck? Is he at the wrong premiere and trying to find his way elsewhere? Part of me wants to get him up here and ask. I’m a journalist at heart, Brian. You understand”

“We’re just to stop talking now and see what the guy does next. Is he scared of heights? Has he somehow gotten stuck? Is he at the wrong premiere and trying to find his way elsewhere? Part of me wants to get him up here and ask. I’m a journalist at heart, Brian. You understand”

Rami Malek climbs the stage, and the crowd is stilled…. … except for the excited braying of autograph dealers. I think they want Aiden Gillen at the moment.

Rami Malek climbs the stage, and the crowd is stilled…. … except for the excited braying of autograph dealers. I think they want Aiden Gillen at the moment.

“I took care of it, Alex” ”That’s cool. I just wanted to know what happened to that guy standing on the railings” ”Like I said. I took care of it”

“I took care of it, Alex”
”That’s cool. I just wanted to know what happened to that guy standing on the railings”
”Like I said. I took care of it”

“This kiss for you. Just you, Sir. If anyone else catches it and thinks it’s for them, it’s not. And you’d better hand it over to him”

“This kiss for you. Just you, Sir. If anyone else catches it and thinks it’s for them, it’s not. And you’d better hand it over to him”

And finally….

“They asked me if I wanted to be in a Queen biopic and I said absolutely, as long as I could play the Duchess of York. They told me I was the third person who’d made a similar joke, but they still wanted me in the film. It was a close call, Alex.”

“They asked me if I wanted to be in a Queen biopic and I said absolutely, as long as I could play the Duchess of York. They told me I was the third person who’d made a similar joke, but they still wanted me in the film. It was a close call, Alex.”

So… that was that. A big, impressive, and yet difficult-to-photograph premiere. I came away with some lucky shots, but missed a lot more. Then again, this wasn’t exactly my first rodeo. It just felt like I’d been thrown around a bit more than usual. From here, it’s a bit quieter on the premieres front, though there is one a bit over a week from now to look forward to. My Archive of Premieres does need occasional feeding.

Until next time!

Feel free to follow me on Facebook, whose war on my adblocker is apparently one I’ll be losing as I’m now buffetted by the most trivially chavvy and classless crap facebook insultingly thinks I have any interest in. Or follow me on Twitter, which I’m definitely happier with. Instagram? eh.. I was on it once.

18 Oct - The BFI LFF 'The Favourite' Premiere

October 18th, 2018

I’d just come from across the river about an hour before, where the Ralph Fiennes-directed “The White Crow” had its premiere… but today’s larger premiere was for the latest Yorgos Lanthimos (hopefully) masterpiece..

Here’s how it went down:

I had a wristband for this event, but its number wasn’t particularly good… in addition to which it’s BFI Southbank : I love shooting from the footbridge (when I’m permitted to do so). So far this year I’ve photographed such events as    Christopher Robin   ,    Yardie   , and the Blake Lively movie    “A Simple Favour”        there. Those premieres were all during the day, though…

I had a wristband for this event, but its number wasn’t particularly good… in addition to which it’s BFI Southbank : I love shooting from the footbridge (when I’m permitted to do so). So far this year I’ve photographed such events as Christopher Robin, Yardie, and the Blake Lively movie “A Simple Favour” there. Those premieres were all during the day, though…

So…. a costume drama? it’s hard to tell with Yorgos Lanthimos movies - part of the charm/horror/confusion that makes them so great is not being able to categorise them, or prepare for them.

So…. a costume drama? it’s hard to tell with Yorgos Lanthimos movies - part of the charm/horror/confusion that makes them so great is not being able to categorise them, or prepare for them.

“I don’t know, man. I’m pretty good at spatial reasoning and no matter how I rotate this, it looks nothing like THAT” . I wonder when the decision to shift this movie’s premiere from Cineworld Leicester Square to BFI Southbank happened. I’m less interested in why.

“I don’t know, man. I’m pretty good at spatial reasoning and no matter how I rotate this, it looks nothing like THAT”. I wonder when the decision to shift this movie’s premiere from Cineworld Leicester Square to BFI Southbank happened. I’m less interested in why.

I don’t know. Walk into a public pen at a premiere these days and you’re likely to get a bag search, metal detectors scrutiny from a sniffer dog and the demand to take a sip of any liquid you take with you. Leave something looking like a mobile artificial intelligence platform of unknown menace and designs on the carpet itself and nobody seems to bother.

I don’t know. Walk into a public pen at a premiere these days and you’re likely to get a bag search, metal detectors scrutiny from a sniffer dog and the demand to take a sip of any liquid you take with you. Leave something looking like a mobile artificial intelligence platform of unknown menace and designs on the carpet itself and nobody seems to bother.

“Does your List say Leo’s coming?” ”Why would it say that he is - he’s got no association with this film” ”It was a test, Barbara. And you just failed” ”So he IS coming??” ”No, Barbara, of course he isn’t. He’s got no association with this film. And you just failed a second time”

“Does your List say Leo’s coming?”
”Why would it say that he is - he’s got no association with this film”
”It was a test, Barbara. And you just failed”
”So he IS coming??”
”No, Barbara, of course he isn’t. He’s got no association with this film. And you just failed a second time”

Our first arrival is Rachel Weisz, who has already been in a prior Yorgos Lanthimos movie (   The Lobster   ), and was in    ‘The Mercy’    the movie for which I still can’t explain the fact it’s my most viewed tweet ever.

Our first arrival is Rachel Weisz, who has already been in a prior Yorgos Lanthimos movie (The Lobster), and was in ‘The Mercy’ the movie for which I still can’t explain the fact it’s my most viewed tweet ever.

“Sorry, I can’t stay. I gotta do… the…. the really important… thing over there…. Is my voice trailing off into the distance? That’s the effect I’m going for. Oh, wait I’m still standing here”.  it’s Mark Gatiss - co-creator of the BBC’s series Sherlock, employee of Game of Thrones’ Iron Bank of Braavos, and ALSO in ‘The Mercy’ with Rachel Weisz (and Colin Firth)

“Sorry, I can’t stay. I gotta do… the…. the really important… thing over there…. Is my voice trailing off into the distance? That’s the effect I’m going for. Oh, wait I’m still standing here”. it’s Mark Gatiss - co-creator of the BBC’s series Sherlock, employee of Game of Thrones’ Iron Bank of Braavos, and ALSO in ‘The Mercy’ with Rachel Weisz (and Colin Firth)

“So in The Lobster… or life in general…. is it better to be in any relationship at all, or stay single forever? Or preferably not among the living? I can’t tell”  Centre of carpet : it’s Yorgos Lanthimos! This movie and his two prior movies have BFI London Film Festival premieres (and journal entries) -    The Lobster    and    The Killing of a Sacred Deer   .

“So in The Lobster… or life in general…. is it better to be in any relationship at all, or stay single forever? Or preferably not among the living? I can’t tell”
Centre of carpet : it’s Yorgos Lanthimos! This movie and his two prior movies have BFI London Film Festival premieres (and journal entries) - The Lobster and The Killing of a Sacred Deer.

“No… Paul Swayne couldn’t make it. And it had nothing to do with not wanting all you guys to shout out his character’s name at this premiere”.  Well… once you’ve checked imdb.com you’ll understand. (ps. don’t check imdb.com… it’s not worth knowing) pps. this is Joe Alwyn.

“No… Paul Swayne couldn’t make it. And it had nothing to do with not wanting all you guys to shout out his character’s name at this premiere”. Well… once you’ve checked imdb.com you’ll understand. (ps. don’t check imdb.com… it’s not worth knowing) pps. this is Joe Alwyn.

“Okay, I’m back. Please continue with that story you were telling earlier about the guy with the thing in that place you were mentioning. Leave nothing out, not a single detail.”

“Okay, I’m back. Please continue with that story you were telling earlier about the guy with the thing in that place you were mentioning. Leave nothing out, not a single detail.”

“Well… these questions are boring. I wish I was over there with Mark learning every detail about the guy with the thing at that place…”

“Well… these questions are boring. I wish I was over there with Mark learning every detail about the guy with the thing at that place…”

My spot on The Bridge doesn’t exactly give me a good view of the stage, however given people are being interviewed with their BACK to the crowd it’s probably slightly better than I’d have gotten at ground level. Plus I get to shoot the scaffolding holding up the TV Screen. Might come in handy if I ever want to mount my laptop on my wall.

My spot on The Bridge doesn’t exactly give me a good view of the stage, however given people are being interviewed with their BACK to the crowd it’s probably slightly better than I’d have gotten at ground level. Plus I get to shoot the scaffolding holding up the TV Screen. Might come in handy if I ever want to mount my laptop on my wall.

Our next arrival : the lovely Emma Stone. Fortunately for my current lamentably deleterious distance from her, I’ve photographed her recently - at close range - at the premiere of    “Maniac”

Our next arrival : the lovely Emma Stone. Fortunately for my current lamentably deleterious distance from her, I’ve photographed her recently - at close range - at the premiere of “Maniac”

Multiple starbursts so sharp I don’t even mind that the humans in this picture are blurry. That’s my aesthetic at a distance of 100 metres, shooting from a bridge, and I stand by it.

Multiple starbursts so sharp I don’t even mind that the humans in this picture are blurry. That’s my aesthetic at a distance of 100 metres, shooting from a bridge, and I stand by it.

I’m not entirely shure what’s happening here, but i can say I don’t hate it. In addition to which, with the Big Stars all posing for the Paps in the distance, this is the emptiest the red carpet has been for some time.

I’m not entirely shure what’s happening here, but i can say I don’t hate it. In addition to which, with the Big Stars all posing for the Paps in the distance, this is the emptiest the red carpet has been for some time.

Emma Stone is wearing a sparkly bluey-silver-white dress and cool black lipstick to go with her pale face and red hair. I’m commemorating this by putting the photo into black’n’white… mainly because too many people in the public pen are wearing garish greens, reds and in one case even a bright orange hoodie.

Emma Stone is wearing a sparkly bluey-silver-white dress and cool black lipstick to go with her pale face and red hair. I’m commemorating this by putting the photo into black’n’white… mainly because too many people in the public pen are wearing garish greens, reds and in one case even a bright orange hoodie.

“I really do truly love Olivia. and I think she’s a great actress. But right now she’s blocking me from the further chanting of my name that takes place every time the dealers see me. And in some ways that’s an even higher level of regard, don’t you think?”  - Olivia Coleman, the third in the fantastic triumvirate of actresses in this movie, was also in “The Lobster”

“I really do truly love Olivia. and I think she’s a great actress. But right now she’s blocking me from the further chanting of my name that takes place every time the dealers see me. And in some ways that’s an even higher level of regard, don’t you think?” - Olivia Coleman, the third in the fantastic triumvirate of actresses in this movie, was also in “The Lobster”

“It’s kind of like getting an awesome promotion, actually”  - Olivia Colman is currently slated to play the older Queen Elizabeth II in the TV Series ‘The Crown’, taking over Claire Foy’s role.

“It’s kind of like getting an awesome promotion, actually” - Olivia Colman is currently slated to play the older Queen Elizabeth II in the TV Series ‘The Crown’, taking over Claire Foy’s role.

“Apparently this is how they’re doing high-fives in Hollywood now. Can you confirm?”

“Apparently this is how they’re doing high-fives in Hollywood now. Can you confirm?”

“Don’t get too much closer. That spotlight on the side of the stage can sear your retinas and cause instant blindness. Still, not to worry. You’ve obviously been working out Mark : that’s what I like about you. You take good care of your body”

“Don’t get too much closer. That spotlight on the side of the stage can sear your retinas and cause instant blindness. Still, not to worry. You’ve obviously been working out Mark : that’s what I like about you. You take good care of your body”

“I refuse to believe this many of you have watched LaLaLand, let alone Birdman…”

“I refuse to believe this many of you have watched LaLaLand, let alone Birdman…”

Emma Stone faces in my direction briefly and I’m again struck by the extent to which every frame I take feels like a new and different pose. It’s not a bad thing to discover at 10 frames per second.

Emma Stone faces in my direction briefly and I’m again struck by the extent to which every frame I take feels like a new and different pose. It’s not a bad thing to discover at 10 frames per second.

“I naturally hesitate to tell an Oscar winning actress where to stand and where to look… but taking instructions is kind of what you do professionally, right?”.  (with thanks to KCheung, who pointed out that the original comment - almost literally the opposite of this - was the opposite of what I should have said!)

“I naturally hesitate to tell an Oscar winning actress where to stand and where to look… but taking instructions is kind of what you do professionally, right?”. (with thanks to KCheung, who pointed out that the original comment - almost literally the opposite of this - was the opposite of what I should have said!)

“Wait. Hold on.. I can do this. It breaks the laws of physics but I saw a dude in front of a crowd in Covent Garden do it.”

“Wait. Hold on.. I can do this. It breaks the laws of physics but I saw a dude in front of a crowd in Covent Garden do it.”

And when the laws of physics are in danger of being broken (and with a 5:02am alarm ready to kiss me awake into Friday), it’s time for me to depart, and wonder what kind of rail chaos awaits me tonight.

Until nex time! (ie. tomorrow!)

If you want to know when I post one of these journals (and nine days into BFI London Film Festival I assure you I’m not always this blurry), feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or on twitter at berndt2_photo. Or refresh the Archive of Premieres obsessively and see if you can catch the change(s)