4 July - The 'Swimming With Men' Premiere

July 4th, 2018.

Five years ago today it was the 'Pacific Rim' premiere and a lot has happened since then. I went to more premieres, I went to bigger premieres, I've seen wristband methodologies grow in complexity and then regress to the point where numbers were scarcely relevant, let alone observed. But I'm still doing them.... and just for once it seems London has a couple of them to look forward to. Five of 'em, in slightly over a week.

Here's how it went down:

 "So that's a cam-er-a, and that's a micro-ma-phone". it's been a long time between premieres in London, and I'm kind of rusty myself. Indeed I'm only using one camera at this event, such was my skepticism that this would actually  BE a premiere.

"So that's a cam-er-a, and that's a micro-ma-phone". it's been a long time between premieres in London, and I'm kind of rusty myself. Indeed I'm only using one camera at this event, such was my skepticism that this would actually  BE a premiere.

  " Leicester Square MAKE SOME NOI --- oh, wait. That's the other guy's shtick. And this is Curzon Mayfair"  - indeed, the esteemed Hakeem Mr Impact has not to my knowledge EVER hosted a premiere at this venue.

"Leicester Square MAKE SOME NOI--- oh, wait. That's the other guy's shtick. And this is Curzon Mayfair" - indeed, the esteemed Hakeem Mr Impact has not to my knowledge EVER hosted a premiere at this venue.

 It's a blue carpet! And fans of crazy Pentax white balance in odd lighting conditions are gonna love this journal. Also, after hours of editing the photos, my own colour perception is skewing dangerously green/red. And the inside of my apartment looks amazing right now.

It's a blue carpet! And fans of crazy Pentax white balance in odd lighting conditions are gonna love this journal. Also, after hours of editing the photos, my own colour perception is skewing dangerously green/red. And the inside of my apartment looks amazing right now.

  "Hey, how come the guy with the iPhone gets to shoot from the carpet? Can I bring a sketch pad next time and sketch from the stars limo?"

"Hey, how come the guy with the iPhone gets to shoot from the carpet? Can I bring a sketch pad next time and sketch from the stars limo?"

  "I just wish I had an even larger collar on this shirt so I could look even cooler flipping it, all Doctor Strange like"  - Nathaniel Parker is in this movie, and of his long and storied imdb entry I recognise very little. He was in the Danny Dyer movie    "Malice in Wonderland"   , though.

"I just wish I had an even larger collar on this shirt so I could look even cooler flipping it, all Doctor Strange like" - Nathaniel Parker is in this movie, and of his long and storied imdb entry I recognise very little. He was in the Danny Dyer movie "Malice in Wonderland", though.

  "You don't need to see my ticket. Just check out the beard" . It is quite the beard. Man on the far right thinks his shirt is one of those Magic Eye things that were all the rage in the 1990s.

"You don't need to see my ticket. Just check out the beard". It is quite the beard. Man on the far right thinks his shirt is one of those Magic Eye things that were all the rage in the 1990s.

  "My invite to this event is in this pocket. As is something slimy, unidentifiable..... and it just moved. Excuse me while I go over there and scream in terror" . Thomas Turgoose is arguably best known for 'This Is England' and possibly    'Kingsman : The Golden Circle'

"My invite to this event is in this pocket. As is something slimy, unidentifiable..... and it just moved. Excuse me while I go over there and scream in terror". Thomas Turgoose is arguably best known for 'This Is England' and possibly 'Kingsman : The Golden Circle'

  "I'm not done getting ready to scream in terror yet. Bear with me while I do that"

"I'm not done getting ready to scream in terror yet. Bear with me while I do that"

  "You could stand right there. If you wanted. Or not. And if you did I might photograph you. Or I might not" . Jo Hartley is possibly not in this film, but she was also in "This Is England"... and also the very excellent    "Eddie the Eagle".

"You could stand right there. If you wanted. Or not. And if you did I might photograph you. Or I might not". Jo Hartley is possibly not in this film, but she was also in "This Is England"... and also the very excellent "Eddie the Eagle".

  "You can wear a straw hat backwards? How did you find out? Who told you? Do you need to ask permission?"  - Charlotte Riley is best known for being in    "In the Heart of the Sea"    and also had a small role in    "Edge of Tomorrow"

"You can wear a straw hat backwards? How did you find out? Who told you? Do you need to ask permission?" - Charlotte Riley is best known for being in "In the Heart of the Sea" and also had a small role in "Edge of Tomorrow"

  "I know you're not on any of the poster filled with half-naked dudes, but if you could sign this... and maybe get Tom Hardy to sign it too?"

"I know you're not on any of the poster filled with half-naked dudes, but if you could sign this... and maybe get Tom Hardy to sign it too?"

  "Brown cap? Eh... I saw a lady with a straw hat. And she wore it backwards. Changed my life, it did. Though the guy with the weirdly checked shirt might make me change it back again."

"Brown cap? Eh... I saw a lady with a straw hat. And she wore it backwards. Changed my life, it did. Though the guy with the weirdly checked shirt might make me change it back again."

  "You want my agreement to let you use this photo, without limitation, in any form of media currently in existence, or discovered in the future, forever in perpetuity? Well.... that's pretty much the case whenever I download a podcast from iTunes, so I guess it's okay"

"You want my agreement to let you use this photo, without limitation, in any form of media currently in existence, or discovered in the future, forever in perpetuity? Well.... that's pretty much the case whenever I download a podcast from iTunes, so I guess it's okay"

  "I don't do high-fives. I do side-twos. All the rage in Hollywood. You know Hollywood? I've been there"  - it's Tom Hardy! He's great in Mad Max Fury Road, hilarous in    The Dark Knight Rises   , and I'm pretty sure everyone has forgotten 2012s    'This Means War'    by now.

"I don't do high-fives. I do side-twos. All the rage in Hollywood. You know Hollywood? I've been there" - it's Tom Hardy! He's great in Mad Max Fury Road, hilarous in The Dark Knight Rises, and I'm pretty sure everyone has forgotten 2012s 'This Means War' by now.

  "You could pose for the Paps over there... or keep staring at the dude with the Pentax which you're already doing" . Tom Hardy and I have clearly made a connection. And I wish I had a leather jacket quite as cool as this.

"You could pose for the Paps over there... or keep staring at the dude with the Pentax which you're already doing". Tom Hardy and I have clearly made a connection. And I wish I had a leather jacket quite as cool as this.

  "It's not for sale."  Well.... damn.

"It's not for sale." Well.... damn.

  "But if I got back out there they'll ask me for more autographs and selfies and I'll have to be polite to them. And I don't want to be polite to them, Janice"

"But if I got back out there they'll ask me for more autographs and selfies and I'll have to be polite to them. And I don't want to be polite to them, Janice"

  "Of course my tie is shorter than Charlotte Riley's dress bow. Everything is shorter than that"  Christian Rubeck was in the Robert Zemeckis movie "Allied" and also the in the weird/interesting Noomi Rapace sci-fi(ish) movie "Whatever Happened to Monday" (aka "Seven Sisters") which I don't think anyone watched, but I saw it on a plane trip last year.

"Of course my tie is shorter than Charlotte Riley's dress bow. Everything is shorter than that" Christian Rubeck was in the Robert Zemeckis movie "Allied" and also the in the weird/interesting Noomi Rapace sci-fi(ish) movie "Whatever Happened to Monday" (aka "Seven Sisters") which I don't think anyone watched, but I saw it on a plane trip last year.

  "I hear the Chinese are working on one half as long again, but there's no way it'll be stable at room temperature.... I can guarantee you that"

"I hear the Chinese are working on one half as long again, but there's no way it'll be stable at room temperature.... I can guarantee you that"

  "But I like to slouch on red carpets. Yes, even when they're blue"  - Jim Carter was in some 52 episodes of Downton Abbey, and also the voice of the batshit bizarre 'Cogman' in last year's    "Transformers : The Last Knight"   .

"But I like to slouch on red carpets. Yes, even when they're blue" - Jim Carter was in some 52 episodes of Downton Abbey, and also the voice of the batshit bizarre 'Cogman' in last year's "Transformers : The Last Knight".

 Imelda Staunton once chilled and terrified children as the vile Dolores Umbridge in Harry Potter... now she wears kinda checked red skirts to premieres. And I'm not entirely sure I approve of that character arc.

Imelda Staunton once chilled and terrified children as the vile Dolores Umbridge in Harry Potter... now she wears kinda checked red skirts to premieres. And I'm not entirely sure I approve of that character arc.

  "Wait... I just gotta see what he does with that free kick then I'll get back to you"  - Daniel Mays (left) was in Disney's<TM> Star Wars<TM> Rogue One <TM> A Star Wars <TM> Story, which is a movie and premiere I prefer not to talk about, as well as    "Dad's Army"   , which I'd also prefer to forget.

"Wait... I just gotta see what he does with that free kick then I'll get back to you" - Daniel Mays (left) was in Disney's<TM> Star Wars<TM> Rogue One <TM> A Star Wars <TM> Story, which is a movie and premiere I prefer not to talk about, as well as "Dad's Army", which I'd also prefer to forget.

  "Red-checked skirt. Check it out".  Oliver Parker (right) has directed several films I've been at premieres of :    St Trinians 2 (2009)   ,    Johnny English Reborn (2011)    and    Dad's Army (2016)   .

"Red-checked skirt. Check it out". Oliver Parker (right) has directed several films I've been at premieres of : St Trinians 2 (2009), Johnny English Reborn (2011) and Dad's Army (2016).

  "You don't have to pose for the paparazzi over there. You don't even have to give them a reason. The look kind of says it all. Can I go now? I need to go home." &nbsp; Late arrival not connected to the film : Jason Isaacs, last photographed at the premiere of    The Death of Stalin   , a movie which I 100% disliked, in direct contrast to almost everybody who's seen it. Oh well.

"You don't have to pose for the paparazzi over there. You don't even have to give them a reason. The look kind of says it all. Can I go now? I need to go home."  Late arrival not connected to the film : Jason Isaacs, last photographed at the premiere of The Death of Stalin, a movie which I 100% disliked, in direct contrast to almost everybody who's seen it. Oh well.

  "... and nobody even asked to see my identification"

"... and nobody even asked to see my identification"

 Saturday! Night! Fever! - on a Wednesday, in summer, in occasional rain.

Saturday! Night! Fever! - on a Wednesday, in summer, in occasional rain.

  "Okay, we've calmed down since that madness a few moments ago. I'm sure you prefer to photograph us like this"

"Okay, we've calmed down since that madness a few moments ago. I'm sure you prefer to photograph us like this"

So... that was that. A premiere in London. It's been so long I wasn't so much excited as kind of nostalgically pleased, if I'm honest. Still, hopefully I'll get back into the swing of things and give them the excitement they (possibly) deserve, since they do after all feed my Archive of Premieres.

Until next time!

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