22 April - The 'Sherlock Gnomes' Family Gala Screening

April 22nd, 2018.

All's quiet in London Town on the premieres front for now.... so much so that I've been spending my time on other cynical pursuits like my "quotes for the poster" project... and so much so that when only one of the three websites I trawl for information on upcoming events disinterestedly noted a 'family gala screening' of something called "Sherlock Gnomes" (from the makers of "Gnomeo and Juliet").... I probably wouldn't have gone unless I already had an excuse to head in.

Fortunately I did. Here's how it went down:

 As you can see, in contrast to (say) Leicester Square's last premiere (   "Rampage" with Dwayne Johnson a week and a half ago   ).... this isn't exactly a  camp-out-for-days-and-get-a-wristband-to-your-choice-of-colour-coded-pen  type of event.

As you can see, in contrast to (say) Leicester Square's last premiere ("Rampage" with Dwayne Johnson a week and a half ago).... this isn't exactly a camp-out-for-days-and-get-a-wristband-to-your-choice-of-colour-coded-pen type of event.

 On the other hand, the Hovis-branded Airstream trailer is handing out FREE toasted cheese sandwiches! And while my Mum and Dad always taught me never to accept candy from strangers, and I don't know any of these peoples' names.... their offering is savoury, not sweet. So I think it's okay.

On the other hand, the Hovis-branded Airstream trailer is handing out FREE toasted cheese sandwiches! And while my Mum and Dad always taught me never to accept candy from strangers, and I don't know any of these peoples' names.... their offering is savoury, not sweet. So I think it's okay.

  MMmmmmm.... free toasted cheese sandwich.  (In retrospect it distresses me that I'd sell out for so little)

MMmmmmm.... free toasted cheese sandwich. (In retrospect it distresses me that I'd sell out for so little)

 .... and in amazing contrast to Coffee Republic, whose loyalty scheme requires an email address, an acceptance of marketing, and (if I read their terms correctly) for you to buy THIRTY cups of coffee before you get one free.... the people at Hovis didn't want anything, not even the promise you'll watch the movie or buy their bread in return. Nice!

.... and in amazing contrast to Coffee Republic, whose loyalty scheme requires an email address, an acceptance of marketing, and (if I read their terms correctly) for you to buy THIRTY cups of coffee before you get one free.... the people at Hovis didn't want anything, not even the promise you'll watch the movie or buy their bread in return. Nice!

  "If we pooled our money we coulda bought a smartphone, instead of wandering around town looking for one of these that works AND doesn't smell like the inside of a urinal....".  They really do, you know. Most of them.

"If we pooled our money we coulda bought a smartphone, instead of wandering around town looking for one of these that works AND doesn't smell like the inside of a urinal....".
They really do, you know. Most of them.

  "Don't look now, Mavis.... I think we're being watched"

"Don't look now, Mavis.... I think we're being watched"

 Put down that free sandwich : there *may* be a premiere on.

Put down that free sandwich : there *may* be a premiere on.

 In a cast that contains such vocal talent as Johnny Depp, Emily Blunt, Michael Caine, Chiwetel Ejiofor and ... uh.... Ozzy Osbourne.... this is Stephen Merchant, who provides the voice for someone (or I guess something) called "Paris" in the movie.

In a cast that contains such vocal talent as Johnny Depp, Emily Blunt, Michael Caine, Chiwetel Ejiofor and ... uh.... Ozzy Osbourne.... this is Stephen Merchant, who provides the voice for someone (or I guess something) called "Paris" in the movie.

 Not one but two cars pull up, and the front one dispenses two of the film's producers : David Furnish (pictured, white trimmed jacket), whose husband is singer Elton John, one of the OTHER producers of this film.

Not one but two cars pull up, and the front one dispenses two of the film's producers : David Furnish (pictured, white trimmed jacket), whose husband is singer Elton John, one of the OTHER producers of this film.

 The woman with the iPhone gets The Shot that neither the Paparazzi (on the rear/other side of the car) nor I (front of car and hurriedly shifting right) do. Photography is about timing and opportunity ..... more so than equipment sometimes!

The woman with the iPhone gets The Shot that neither the Paparazzi (on the rear/other side of the car) nor I (front of car and hurriedly shifting right) do. Photography is about timing and opportunity ..... more so than equipment sometimes!

 Sir Elton catches a glimpse of what somebody wants him to autograph. Sadly I didn't see what it was. Application for a student loan or adoption papers, I suspect...

Sir Elton catches a glimpse of what somebody wants him to autograph. Sadly I didn't see what it was. Application for a student loan or adoption papers, I suspect...

  "I'll move out the instant I turn forty! I promise!!"

"I'll move out the instant I turn forty! I promise!!"

 Just a Gnome.

Just a Gnome.

 James McAvoy is in this movie in the capacity of the voice of "Gnomeo". Both Romeo & Juliet and Sherlock Holmes are intellectual properties in the public domain... so calling the next movie (say) "The Rolling Gnomes" and assuming you won't get instantly sued would be much riskier.

James McAvoy is in this movie in the capacity of the voice of "Gnomeo". Both Romeo & Juliet and Sherlock Holmes are intellectual properties in the public domain... so calling the next movie (say) "The Rolling Gnomes" and assuming you won't get instantly sued would be much riskier.

  "I was going to wear a suit and tie, but then I figured why bother......  wait, are those FREE SANDWICHES you're all eating??"

"I was going to wear a suit and tie, but then I figured why bother......  wait, are those FREE SANDWICHES you're all eating??"

  "Let me guess... you all have X-Men stuff for me to sign? What about ATONEMENT - that movie was fantastic!"  James McAvoy plays Professor X in the X-Men First Class universe of films - including "   X-Men Apocalypse   " which was the last one I photographed him at. And 'Atonement' is pretty great.

"Let me guess... you all have X-Men stuff for me to sign? What about ATONEMENT - that movie was fantastic!" James McAvoy plays Professor X in the X-Men First Class universe of films - including "X-Men Apocalypse" which was the last one I photographed him at. And 'Atonement' is pretty great.

  "Mr McAvoy, I swear I haven't kidnapped anyone, but as an art project I've been going around getting different actors to write one word each for a combined celebrity ransom note. Can I get you to write the word "non-sequential" right next to where it says "unmarked" here?"  Nobody had better copy that idea, damnit. I might be drunk right now, but I thought of it.

"Mr McAvoy, I swear I haven't kidnapped anyone, but as an art project I've been going around getting different actors to write one word each for a combined celebrity ransom note. Can I get you to write the word "non-sequential" right next to where it says "unmarked" here?"
Nobody had better copy that idea, damnit. I might be drunk right now, but I thought of it.

  "Well.. that was weird but entertaining. Have fun, y'all"

"Well.. that was weird but entertaining. Have fun, y'all"

... and with a book signing by  fairly legendary author Raymond E. Feist scheduled at 3:30pm at Forbidden Planet, and a late scheduled breakfast at nearby Coffee Republic (where "Loyalty is Always (eventually) Rewarded"...).... I certainly intended to make this Sunday even more worthwhile.

 Meanwhile....   "I feel a presence. A presence I've not felt since....."   It's probably those burritos at 'Chiquito'. They've been known to do that.

Meanwhile.... "I feel a presence. A presence I've not felt since....."
It's probably those burritos at 'Chiquito'. They've been known to do that.

So... that was that. The book signing went well (thanks for asking).... and now there's (still) no 'legitimate' premiere scheduled for London before the TV Baftas which are a fortnight from now. But... it's one more for The Archive of Movie Premieres.

.... until next time!

ps. if you ever want to subject yourself to the anguish of long weeks between updates of photos from London's increasingly scarce premieres.... feel free to follow me on twitter at @berndt2_photo, or on Facebook at premieresdotco... or check the home page of this website from time to time, I guess.