13 June - The "Ocean's 8" European Premiere

June 13th, 2018.

For the first time in TWO MONTHS, London had a weekday Leicester Square premiere complete with carpets, barriers, security, autograph dealers, large crowds, and an improperly orchestrated single-colour wristband system based on a sequential series of numbers that's been around for over 1500 years.

And I wouldn't be anywhere else. Here's how it went down:

 When I got to Leicester Square at 6:30am today, I was #82 on The List, and told that wristbands would be handed out around 9:00am. Then I learned at 8:30am that wristbands had been handed out since before 8:00am... so I ended up with Wristband #171. There is justice in premiere-going. But not always.

When I got to Leicester Square at 6:30am today, I was #82 on The List, and told that wristbands would be handed out around 9:00am. Then I learned at 8:30am that wristbands had been handed out since before 8:00am... so I ended up with Wristband #171. There is justice in premiere-going. But not always.

 A mere 2.5hours after we were told to be back at Leicester Square for pen loading, I was finally in the pen at the premiere. And... amazingly I had a front-row spot. But was it a GOOD front-row spot? Uh.... more on that.

A mere 2.5hours after we were told to be back at Leicester Square for pen loading, I was finally in the pen at the premiere. And... amazingly I had a front-row spot. But was it a GOOD front-row spot? Uh.... more on that.

  "This list is amazing. AND it's in black'n'white... so classy...."  And given it's an all-female cast and all the music they're playing from the speakers seems to be girl-powah anthems, me and my errant Y-chromosome are just going to stay quiet and keep a low profile.

"This list is amazing. AND it's in black'n'white... so classy...." And given it's an all-female cast and all the music they're playing from the speakers seems to be girl-powah anthems, me and my errant Y-chromosome are just going to stay quiet and keep a low profile.

 I kinda want to meet the girl on the right. I think we'd have a lot in common.... for one thing, I, too, would probably end up being the Antisocial One in the Social Media Pen.

I kinda want to meet the girl on the right. I think we'd have a lot in common.... for one thing, I, too, would probably end up being the Antisocial One in the Social Media Pen.

  "I used to wonder why they put rearview mirrors on this camera... now I'm kinda glad. Those are some pretty nifty shoes."

"I used to wonder why they put rearview mirrors on this camera... now I'm kinda glad. Those are some pretty nifty shoes."

 They are, indeed, some fairly nifty shoes.

They are, indeed, some fairly nifty shoes.

  "I've been assured that standing in front of an unfiltered microwave ray is safe. Why... what have you heard?"

"I've been assured that standing in front of an unfiltered microwave ray is safe. Why... what have you heard?"

 I don't really have a view of the giant red carpet from where I'm standing, and the people in the second, third, and sometimes fourth row would regard any weakness on my part with opportunistic glee. In any event, this is the movie's Director, Gary Ross.

I don't really have a view of the giant red carpet from where I'm standing, and the people in the second, third, and sometimes fourth row would regard any weakness on my part with opportunistic glee. In any event, this is the movie's Director, Gary Ross.

  "Although this is a very cool movie starring some very glamorous women, we do want to reiterate that we do not believe crime is sexy, or in any way something people should engage in".  Really? Then how does that explain my rail franchise Govia Thameslink not having its CEO and Board in jail? (In other news, Olivia Milch and Gary Ross wrote the screenplay for this movie).

"Although this is a very cool movie starring some very glamorous women, we do want to reiterate that we do not believe crime is sexy, or in any way something people should engage in". Really? Then how does that explain my rail franchise Govia Thameslink not having its CEO and Board in jail? (In other news, Olivia Milch and Gary Ross wrote the screenplay for this movie).

  "I just think it's awesome that we can finally have a film about kickass women since that's never been done before".  Wow. It's like everyone already forgot Mad Max Fury Road exists. And was released three years ago. And won five Oscars. And was amazing. (Or that Ghostbusters (2016) was released in 2016.... but it's probably better everyone forgets about that)

"I just think it's awesome that we can finally have a film about kickass women since that's never been done before". Wow. It's like everyone already forgot Mad Max Fury Road exists. And was released three years ago. And won five Oscars. And was amazing. (Or that Ghostbusters (2016) was released in 2016.... but it's probably better everyone forgets about that)

 A look at Gary Ross' imdb page reveals not only that he directed the first movie in the    Hunger Games    franchise, but has been nominated for FOUR Academy Awards - three for writing (including the 1986 movie "Big" starring Tom Hanks) and one for Directing.

A look at Gary Ross' imdb page reveals not only that he directed the first movie in the Hunger Games franchise, but has been nominated for FOUR Academy Awards - three for writing (including the 1986 movie "Big" starring Tom Hanks) and one for Directing.

 This photo shows my spot in the pen - sometimes the giant boom camera barely gives me a sliver of an angle to shoot the stage. But sometimes slivers are all you get, and sometimes they're all you need. (Much like alcohol, really. Also feminism.)

This photo shows my spot in the pen - sometimes the giant boom camera barely gives me a sliver of an angle to shoot the stage. But sometimes slivers are all you get, and sometimes they're all you need. (Much like alcohol, really. Also feminism.)

  "The dress was WHITE before I leaned against that posing board over there, damnit"  - the first cast member on stage : Helena Bonham Carter. Her filmography is impressive, and she has two Academy Award nominations... but right now I have no idea when I last photographed her. Other than at this premiere, I mean.

"The dress was WHITE before I leaned against that posing board over there, damnit" - the first cast member on stage : Helena Bonham Carter. Her filmography is impressive, and she has two Academy Award nominations... but right now I have no idea when I last photographed her. Other than at this premiere, I mean.

  "Check it. Steady as a rock. I can totally take over hosting duties for this event, if you want".  although I sadly didn't photograph him, this premiere also saw the return of your friend and mine, DJ Impact and his tame DJ Seven Seas. A lot of things rhyme with "8"... but I believe he was mostly getting others to rap at this event.

"Check it. Steady as a rock. I can totally take over hosting duties for this event, if you want". although I sadly didn't photograph him, this premiere also saw the return of your friend and mine, DJ Impact and his tame DJ Seven Seas. A lot of things rhyme with "8"... but I believe he was mostly getting others to rap at this event.

  "A third Alice in Wonderland live-action movie? Ummm.... I'm backing Oceans 9 and 10 as a higher likelihood, I think"

"A third Alice in Wonderland live-action movie? Ummm.... I'm backing Oceans 9 and 10 as a higher likelihood, I think"

 Ah, the usual polite English sport of autograph collecting, captured here at its most refined. (The crush was much worse when Sandra Bullock got closer to me)

Ah, the usual polite English sport of autograph collecting, captured here at its most refined. (The crush was much worse when Sandra Bullock got closer to me)

 Mandy Kaling was most recently in    "A Wrinke In Time"    which actually had a premiere in London (I say that as if that's somehow rare... because it is), but was also the voice of "Disgust" in Disney/Pixar's    "Inside Out"   , which had a premiere in London but she didn't attend.

Mandy Kaling was most recently in "A Wrinke In Time" which actually had a premiere in London (I say that as if that's somehow rare... because it is), but was also the voice of "Disgust" in Disney/Pixar's "Inside Out", which had a premiere in London but she didn't attend.

  "Gravity? But that was so.... so.... so long ago! Got anything newer for me to sign?"  Sandra Bullock  won an Oscar for that movie.

"Gravity? But that was so.... so.... so long ago! Got anything newer for me to sign?" Sandra Bullock  won an Oscar for that movie.

  "Did that French Guy also say that he 'Luffs' you in a creepy way? I'm beginning to think it might be saying it indiscriminately to everyone...."

"Did that French Guy also say that he 'Luffs' you in a creepy way? I'm beginning to think it might be saying it indiscriminately to everyone...."

 Next up on stage to join the group : Australia's own Cate Blanchett, dual Oscar Winner, and wearer of the pelt of a bird I like to believe she defeated in unarmed hand-to-hand combat. I think I last photographed her twice in 2015, at the London Film Festival premieres of    "Carol"    and    "Truth"

Next up on stage to join the group : Australia's own Cate Blanchett, dual Oscar Winner, and wearer of the pelt of a bird I like to believe she defeated in unarmed hand-to-hand combat. I think I last photographed her twice in 2015, at the London Film Festival premieres of "Carol" and "Truth"

  "It wasn't unarmed combat. That emu had a machete and an attitude. And I wear its feathers as a sign of my respect for its determination to live... and also of my determination to wear its feathers"

"It wasn't unarmed combat. That emu had a machete and an attitude. And I wear its feathers as a sign of my respect for its determination to live... and also of my determination to wear its feathers"

  "Stop calling my dress 'The Pink Ravioli'. That's not what it's called"  - fourth on stage from the cast - Sarah Paulson, and Sarah Paulson's dress, which is being worn by her.

"Stop calling my dress 'The Pink Ravioli'. That's not what it's called" - fourth on stage from the cast - Sarah Paulson, and Sarah Paulson's dress, which is being worn by her.

  "Having eight women (and no men) in the Oceans team wasn't deliberate, you know. It was just a 1 in 256 coincidence. And what's the likelihood that the extra person in Oceans 9 will be a Man, I hear you ask? Umm... about 1 in 512, I think..."  (But yes, I am aware that the maths for Oceans 12 is pretty heavily outside the 'coincidental' realm by several orders of magnitude)

"Having eight women (and no men) in the Oceans team wasn't deliberate, you know. It was just a 1 in 256 coincidence. And what's the likelihood that the extra person in Oceans 9 will be a Man, I hear you ask? Umm... about 1 in 512, I think..." (But yes, I am aware that the maths for Oceans 12 is pretty heavily outside the 'coincidental' realm by several orders of magnitude)

  "We're going to need more microphones. This answer is going to sound so much better in Dolby 7.1"

"We're going to need more microphones. This answer is going to sound so much better in Dolby 7.1"

  "Is this really how we're going to decide who's wearing a better top?" "No, of course not. Don't be childish. Because clearly mine's better."

"Is this really how we're going to decide who's wearing a better top?"
"No, of course not. Don't be childish. Because clearly mine's better."

  "Is this really how we're going to decide whether Cate's or Sarah's top is better?" "No, of course not. Because clearly mine's better than either of theirs."

"Is this really how we're going to decide whether Cate's or Sarah's top is better?"
"No, of course not. Because clearly mine's better than either of theirs."

  "Anyway, that's how I assembled my ikea cabinet. It might not work as well on your ikea cabinet if it's a different model, but check out my youtube channel, and it'll lead you through it. Oh, wait. You were asking about the movie?"

"Anyway, that's how I assembled my ikea cabinet. It might not work as well on your ikea cabinet if it's a different model, but check out my youtube channel, and it'll lead you through it. Oh, wait. You were asking about the movie?"

 I kinda want to write a comment about something other than Cate Blanchett's top... but I just keep staring at it. Sarah Paulson does not appear to be happy about that.

I kinda want to write a comment about something other than Cate Blanchett's top... but I just keep staring at it. Sarah Paulson does not appear to be happy about that.

  "I think there's some protesters from PETA who want to talk to you about it" "Like I said, the Emu was armed and gave as good as it got, Sarah. I don't see why they'd be so upset about it."

"I think there's some protesters from PETA who want to talk to you about it"
"Like I said, the Emu was armed and gave as good as it got, Sarah. I don't see why they'd be so upset about it."

  "You like my dress better? Good choice. What do you want me to sign? Cate's Lord of the Rings crap? No problem!"

"You like my dress better? Good choice. What do you want me to sign? Cate's Lord of the Rings crap? No problem!"

 Although Singer Rihanna is on the film, and was on the list of attendees, she hadn't arrived by the time they started inviting people in the pens to leave if they wanted (and I certainly wanted). So meanwhile, here's a photo of composer Daniel Pemberton, who did the excellent score to (say) Danny Boyle's 'Steve Jobs'

Although Singer Rihanna is on the film, and was on the list of attendees, she hadn't arrived by the time they started inviting people in the pens to leave if they wanted (and I certainly wanted). So meanwhile, here's a photo of composer Daniel Pemberton, who did the excellent score to (say) Danny Boyle's 'Steve Jobs'

So... that was that. A premiere in London has certainly been a long time coming... and I'm  glad they had one. And there are two more scheduled in July to hopefully look forward to and add to the Archive of Movie premieres. Rihanna ended up showing up late, but I photographed her at 'Valerian' a couple of years ago and really wanted to get home (as mentioned, my train company sucks, and indeed my train was delayed 20mins when I got there)

Until next time!

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