1 Nov - Another ' "F**& YOU" European Premiere' From Disney

November 1st, 2018.

Firstly, yes I know this is trivial. I bought and run a website called “premieres.co” - so believe me I know about Trivial.

But.

In much the same way as I was pissed off when Disney called its Black Panther private/closed event a “European Premiere” earlier this year, I was able to be pissed off yet again by the House Of Mouse, when its “Nutcracker and the Four Realms” EUROPEAN PREMIERE ended up being a closed event with no public access.

Here’s how it went down:

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So they called it a Confirmed “European Premiere” at both premierescene and markmeets….. and had done so for WEEKS…

And “ What’s On The Redcarpet ” went one further…. not just HOSTING the event   but explicitly calling it “PUBLIC” on their facebook page.    (I’ve underlined it for emphasis)

And “What’s On The Redcarpet” went one further…. not just HOSTING the event but explicitly calling it “PUBLIC” on their facebook page. (I’ve underlined it for emphasis)

So I get to Westfield Shepherds Bush and ominously they have a huge adverting screen showing a trailer for the movie, but instead of saying something like “EUROPEAN PREMIERE HERE TONIGHT” it just says “In Cinemas Tomorrow”

So I get to Westfield Shepherds Bush and ominously they have a huge adverting screen showing a trailer for the movie, but instead of saying something like “EUROPEAN PREMIERE HERE TONIGHT” it just says “In Cinemas Tomorrow”

Inside, it’s fairly immediately obvious (by the lack of stage, barriers, dealers, and fans) that there’s no premiere. They’re certainly setting up something at the Top Floor VUE Cinema though.

Inside, it’s fairly immediately obvious (by the lack of stage, barriers, dealers, and fans) that there’s no premiere. They’re certainly setting up something at the Top Floor VUE Cinema though.

I ask both one of the managers and a security guy and they confirm : today’s “AHEM” European premiere is not a public event.

I ask both one of the managers and a security guy and they confirm : today’s “AHEM” European premiere is not a public event.

Oh, wait. There’s a correction!! … it’s actually a “European GALA” now, per the giant (?) sign on the far wall of the VUE…. that you can just see if you happen to be walking past the popcorn stand.

Oh, wait. There’s a correction!! … it’s actually a “European GALA” now, per the giant (?) sign on the far wall of the VUE…. that you can just see if you happen to be walking past the popcorn stand.

But hold on just a second… there’s a facebook mob calling themselves “What’s on the Red Carpet” and they purported themselves to be the HOSTS of this premiere….

It’s barely   an hour   til the premiere starts and it’s STILL a PUBLIC EVENT???

It’s barely an hour til the premiere starts and it’s STILL a PUBLIC EVENT???

… in other times I might have stayed around to see what I could accomplish from lower angles and creative timing, but that’s another time and another me. It’s not that I had better things to do… but I did have other things to do.

So I went back to The Apartment. And…..

Oh, look! WIREIMAGE.COM is selling their images from the night as being from the  EUROPEAN PREMIERE  - what the hell??

Oh, look! WIREIMAGE.COM is selling their images from the night as being from the EUROPEAN PREMIERE - what the hell??

So as much as it pains me to agree with some fat orange in a white coloured house in the District of Columbia, USA… words like “FAKE” and “NEWS” do kind of go together here.

Because calling something “something”, then putting a correction in small print just before allowing everyone to refer to the “something” as “SOMETHING” anyway is just marketing bullshit. And once again, it’s f**king DISNEY that’s doing it. 

And again, I have no problem whatsoever with a company celebrating the launch of their new movie however they want. BUT CALLING IT A EUROPEAN PREMIERE or advertising it as a such and then closing it to the public, or retracting it WAY later, is not correct. And if you see stars’ smiling faces in front of a posing board in a newspaper or online and conclude that this was a premiere (wait…. EUROPEAN premiere) … well that’s what f**king Disney wants, and if it bears no resemblance to that implied “truth”, who gives a shit. Does that matter? YES, if language is meant to have any meaning it DOES!

And one day later, the circle is indeed complete:

It’s the morning Metro, and what does it refer to yesterday’s event as? That’s right : a “premiere”, and not a “gala european screening”

It’s the morning Metro, and what does it refer to yesterday’s event as? That’s right : a “premiere”, and not a “gala european screening”

And  The Times  has a photo of Keira Knightley   “at the premiere in London”   on its front page…. not at a “gala european screening”

And The Times has a photo of Keira Knightley “at the premiere in London” on its front page…. not at a “gala european screening”

Zimbio (above) calls it a European Premiere.

Zimbio (above) calls it a European Premiere.

and Facebook cites articles by the  DailyMail, GettyImages and CelebVegas … all of whom refer to it as a premiere. (Two of them call it a UK Premiere? Who gives a 5h1t about accuracy at this point, really…. )

and Facebook cites articles by the DailyMail, GettyImages and CelebVegas… all of whom refer to it as a premiere. (Two of them call it a UK Premiere? Who gives a 5h1t about accuracy at this point, really…. )

And facebook also shows that 24 PEOPLE went to this event…. an event that DIDN’T HAPPEN, but because it was (a) scheduled and (b) was in the past, facebook just assumes it happened AND that everyone who said they intended to go DID go. Is this how history books (or apps or emoji-summaries) in the future will be written??

And facebook also shows that 24 PEOPLE went to this event…. an event that DIDN’T HAPPEN, but because it was (a) scheduled and (b) was in the past, facebook just assumes it happened AND that everyone who said they intended to go DID go. Is this how history books (or apps or emoji-summaries) in the future will be written??

So in summary : F**k you Disney. Keep buying up your competitors like it’s legal, but my website ain’t for sale.

On the plus side, apparently the movie sucks anyway:

Awwww…. you’re 25% more popular than Batman v Superman : Dawn of Justice. You must be so proud.

Awwww…. you’re 25% more popular than Batman v Superman : Dawn of Justice. You must be so proud.

Until next time? Sure, whenever somebody explains to me what “Until” and “Next” and “Time” mean...

and finally….

in the afternoon of November 2nd, premierescene retrospectively exonnerates itself by now referring to the “recent” event it previously called a “European Premiere” …. a hastily-corrected “European European Gala Screening”. Nice touch with the double-use of “European”. You’d call it successful revisionist history…. if your skills were slightly better.

in the afternoon of November 2nd, premierescene retrospectively exonnerates itself by now referring to the “recent” event it previously called a “European Premiere” …. a hastily-corrected “European European Gala Screening”. Nice touch with the double-use of “European”. You’d call it successful revisionist history…. if your skills were slightly better.