22 April - The 'Sherlock Gnomes' Family Gala Screening

April 22nd, 2018.

All's quiet in London Town on the premieres front for now.... so much so that I've been spending my time on other cynical pursuits like my "quotes for the poster" project... and so much so that when only one of the three websites I trawl for information on upcoming events disinterestedly noted a 'family gala screening' of something called "Sherlock Gnomes" (from the makers of "Gnomeo and Juliet").... I probably wouldn't have gone unless I already had an excuse to head in.

Fortunately I did. Here's how it went down:

 As you can see, in contrast to (say) Leicester Square's last premiere (   "Rampage" with Dwayne Johnson a week and a half ago   ).... this isn't exactly a  camp-out-for-days-and-get-a-wristband-to-your-choice-of-colour-coded-pen  type of event.

As you can see, in contrast to (say) Leicester Square's last premiere ("Rampage" with Dwayne Johnson a week and a half ago).... this isn't exactly a camp-out-for-days-and-get-a-wristband-to-your-choice-of-colour-coded-pen type of event.

 On the other hand, the Hovis-branded Airstream trailer is handing out FREE toasted cheese sandwiches! And while my Mum and Dad always taught me never to accept candy from strangers, and I don't know any of these peoples' names.... their offering is savoury, not sweet. So I think it's okay.

On the other hand, the Hovis-branded Airstream trailer is handing out FREE toasted cheese sandwiches! And while my Mum and Dad always taught me never to accept candy from strangers, and I don't know any of these peoples' names.... their offering is savoury, not sweet. So I think it's okay.

  MMmmmmm.... free toasted cheese sandwich.  (In retrospect it distresses me that I'd sell out for so little)

MMmmmmm.... free toasted cheese sandwich. (In retrospect it distresses me that I'd sell out for so little)

 .... and in amazing contrast to Coffee Republic, whose loyalty scheme requires an email address, an acceptance of marketing, and (if I read their terms correctly) for you to buy THIRTY cups of coffee before you get one free.... the people at Hovis didn't want anything, not even the promise you'll watch the movie or buy their bread in return. Nice!

.... and in amazing contrast to Coffee Republic, whose loyalty scheme requires an email address, an acceptance of marketing, and (if I read their terms correctly) for you to buy THIRTY cups of coffee before you get one free.... the people at Hovis didn't want anything, not even the promise you'll watch the movie or buy their bread in return. Nice!

  "If we pooled our money we coulda bought a smartphone, instead of wandering around town looking for one of these that works AND doesn't smell like the inside of a urinal....".  They really do, you know. Most of them.

"If we pooled our money we coulda bought a smartphone, instead of wandering around town looking for one of these that works AND doesn't smell like the inside of a urinal....".
They really do, you know. Most of them.

  "Don't look now, Mavis.... I think we're being watched"

"Don't look now, Mavis.... I think we're being watched"

 Put down that free sandwich : there *may* be a premiere on.

Put down that free sandwich : there *may* be a premiere on.

 In a cast that contains such vocal talent as Johnny Depp, Emily Blunt, Michael Caine, Chiwetel Ejiofor and ... uh.... Ozzy Osbourne.... this is Stephen Merchant, who provides the voice for someone (or I guess something) called "Paris" in the movie.

In a cast that contains such vocal talent as Johnny Depp, Emily Blunt, Michael Caine, Chiwetel Ejiofor and ... uh.... Ozzy Osbourne.... this is Stephen Merchant, who provides the voice for someone (or I guess something) called "Paris" in the movie.

 Not one but two cars pull up, and the front one dispenses two of the film's producers : David Furnish (pictured, white trimmed jacket), whose husband is singer Elton John, one of the OTHER producers of this film.

Not one but two cars pull up, and the front one dispenses two of the film's producers : David Furnish (pictured, white trimmed jacket), whose husband is singer Elton John, one of the OTHER producers of this film.

 The woman with the iPhone gets The Shot that neither the Paparazzi (on the rear/other side of the car) nor I (front of car and hurriedly shifting right) do. Photography is about timing and opportunity ..... more so than equipment sometimes!

The woman with the iPhone gets The Shot that neither the Paparazzi (on the rear/other side of the car) nor I (front of car and hurriedly shifting right) do. Photography is about timing and opportunity ..... more so than equipment sometimes!

 Sir Elton catches a glimpse of what somebody wants him to autograph. Sadly I didn't see what it was. Application for a student loan or adoption papers, I suspect...

Sir Elton catches a glimpse of what somebody wants him to autograph. Sadly I didn't see what it was. Application for a student loan or adoption papers, I suspect...

  "I'll move out the instant I turn forty! I promise!!"

"I'll move out the instant I turn forty! I promise!!"

 Just a Gnome.

Just a Gnome.

 James McAvoy is in this movie in the capacity of the voice of "Gnomeo". Both Romeo & Juliet and Sherlock Holmes are intellectual properties in the public domain... so calling the next movie (say) "The Rolling Gnomes" and assuming you won't get instantly sued would be much riskier.

James McAvoy is in this movie in the capacity of the voice of "Gnomeo". Both Romeo & Juliet and Sherlock Holmes are intellectual properties in the public domain... so calling the next movie (say) "The Rolling Gnomes" and assuming you won't get instantly sued would be much riskier.

  "I was going to wear a suit and tie, but then I figured why bother......  wait, are those FREE SANDWICHES you're all eating??"

"I was going to wear a suit and tie, but then I figured why bother......  wait, are those FREE SANDWICHES you're all eating??"

  "Let me guess... you all have X-Men stuff for me to sign? What about ATONEMENT - that movie was fantastic!"  James McAvoy plays Professor X in the X-Men First Class universe of films - including "   X-Men Apocalypse   " which was the last one I photographed him at. And 'Atonement' is pretty great.

"Let me guess... you all have X-Men stuff for me to sign? What about ATONEMENT - that movie was fantastic!" James McAvoy plays Professor X in the X-Men First Class universe of films - including "X-Men Apocalypse" which was the last one I photographed him at. And 'Atonement' is pretty great.

  "Mr McAvoy, I swear I haven't kidnapped anyone, but as an art project I've been going around getting different actors to write one word each for a combined celebrity ransom note. Can I get you to write the word "non-sequential" right next to where it says "unmarked" here?"  Nobody had better copy that idea, damnit. I might be drunk right now, but I thought of it.

"Mr McAvoy, I swear I haven't kidnapped anyone, but as an art project I've been going around getting different actors to write one word each for a combined celebrity ransom note. Can I get you to write the word "non-sequential" right next to where it says "unmarked" here?"
Nobody had better copy that idea, damnit. I might be drunk right now, but I thought of it.

  "Well.. that was weird but entertaining. Have fun, y'all"

"Well.. that was weird but entertaining. Have fun, y'all"

... and with a book signing by  fairly legendary author Raymond E. Feist scheduled at 3:30pm at Forbidden Planet, and a late scheduled breakfast at nearby Coffee Republic (where "Loyalty is Always (eventually) Rewarded"...).... I certainly intended to make this Sunday even more worthwhile.

 Meanwhile....   "I feel a presence. A presence I've not felt since....."   It's probably those burritos at 'Chiquito'. They've been known to do that.

Meanwhile.... "I feel a presence. A presence I've not felt since....."
It's probably those burritos at 'Chiquito'. They've been known to do that.

So... that was that. The book signing went well (thanks for asking).... and now there's (still) no 'legitimate' premiere scheduled for London before the TV Baftas which are a fortnight from now. But... it's one more for The Archive of Movie Premieres.

.... until next time!

ps. if you ever want to subject yourself to the anguish of long weeks between updates of photos from London's increasingly scarce premieres.... feel free to follow me on twitter at @berndt2_photo, or on Facebook at premieresdotco... or check the home page of this website from time to time, I guess.

11 April - The 'RAMPAGE' European Premiere

April 11th, 2018

For the last premiere currently 'on the books' as scheduled in London, and the fourth event in the past six days (after 'A Quiet Place', the 2018 Olivier Awards and Monday's 'The Guernsey Literary and.... etc' World Premiere) it was a pretty sizeable affair. However, I was fairly lucky to obtain a #9 wristband for the public pen of my choice - the one closest to the stage.

However, in the two hours from the pen loading to the premiere started, I was subjected to a deliberate invasion of space the likes of which is only possible in an environment where there are no consequences for assholish behaviour, and no avenue for public complaint. But hey, if you want to leave the EU so you can get control of your culture back two or three generations too late for it to make any difference, feel free to wallow in the pyrrhic victory

Here's how it went down.

 "RAMPAGE" - it's the movie that on the face of it represents a likely Autograph Dealer biopic, complete with giant apes, hideous reptiles and some kind of toothed wolf-like creature. Dwayne Johnson does battle with them, but I fear even the heavy firepower he brings might not be sufficient.

"RAMPAGE" - it's the movie that on the face of it represents a likely Autograph Dealer biopic, complete with giant apes, hideous reptiles and some kind of toothed wolf-like creature. Dwayne Johnson does battle with them, but I fear even the heavy firepower he brings might not be sufficient.

  "Help me, photo of Dwayne Johnson's right bicep. You're my only hope"

"Help me, photo of Dwayne Johnson's right bicep. You're my only hope"

  "Yo, wassup peeps?!"  - our host for this evening was not the venerable Alex Zane or capable Edith Bowman... but rather a newer younger model of presenter, dressed as formally as his generation is capable of at a European Premiere : a t-shirt, suit jacket and sneakers (no socks).

"Yo, wassup peeps?!" - our host for this evening was not the venerable Alex Zane or capable Edith Bowman... but rather a newer younger model of presenter, dressed as formally as his generation is capable of at a European Premiere : a t-shirt, suit jacket and sneakers (no socks).

 Our host appears to have eschewed formal footwear in preference to handwritten scrawls on insteps and some kind of luggage tag at the top of shoelaces. Still, I'm sure he has a journalism degree or twitter account (delete whichever applicable) to justify his role here.

Our host appears to have eschewed formal footwear in preference to handwritten scrawls on insteps and some kind of luggage tag at the top of shoelaces. Still, I'm sure he has a journalism degree or twitter account (delete whichever applicable) to justify his role here.

  "We've got to make sure every one of these rivets is perfectly flush - you know how Dwayne Johnson gets when rivets are non-flush" . Spared no expense.

"We've got to make sure every one of these rivets is perfectly flush - you know how Dwayne Johnson gets when rivets are non-flush". Spared no expense.

 My spot in the pen has gone from " on the front row " to "  I have one hand held on the barrier while no part of the rest of my body is in contact with the front-row barrier  " for reasons I will whine about in a few photos time. Meanwhile, I'm assured that this is Lauren Pope.

My spot in the pen has gone from "on the front row" to "I have one hand held on the barrier while no part of the rest of my body is in contact with the front-row barrier" for reasons I will whine about in a few photos time. Meanwhile, I'm assured that this is Lauren Pope.

 Breanne Hill, despite not being indentified on the wireimage library for this event (nor part of the assembled cast photo) is actually in this movie.... as well as the last Dwayne Johnson movie to get a    London premiere : "San Andreas"

Breanne Hill, despite not being indentified on the wireimage library for this event (nor part of the assembled cast photo) is actually in this movie.... as well as the last Dwayne Johnson movie to get a London premiere : "San Andreas"

 Breanne Hill and I appear to have made a connection, which is great because without contorting myself this is the only direction I can comfortably photograph.

Breanne Hill and I appear to have made a connection, which is great because without contorting myself this is the only direction I can comfortably photograph.

  "What was it like working with Dwayne Johnson? Oh, it was fantastic, and I don't even care if he's not in earshot to hear me say that.... I'll repeat it to anyone and everyone who asks"

"What was it like working with Dwayne Johnson? Oh, it was fantastic, and I don't even care if he's not in earshot to hear me say that.... I'll repeat it to anyone and everyone who asks"

  "Secret Journal Entry. Note to self : Breanne Hill appears to like Dwayne Johnson as much as I do and I must do something about it. Second note to self : peripheral vision shows man with mobile phone taking photos of the stage. Must not allow him to photograph my secret journal"

"Secret Journal Entry. Note to self : Breanne Hill appears to like Dwayne Johnson as much as I do and I must do something about it. Second note to self : peripheral vision shows man with mobile phone taking photos of the stage. Must not allow him to photograph my secret journal"

 Time for some whinin' so feel free to skip this:  the lady behind Charlie Chaplin spent two hours in the buildup of this premiere slowly edging and angling herself from the second row into the first row, slowly but surely chatting him up while pushing Charlie Chaplin across into MY spot where I was forced into losing first a fully front-facing spot, then forced into a diagonal-facing position, then to the point where I only had a hand-hold on the barrier. When the woman, first with a handhold, then angled view and then a FULL FRONT ROW SPOT then turned to Charlie Chaplin to ask whether he'd be okay moving to the side for her daughter when the time came to get autographs, I'd had enough and turned to both of them and called them out on their rudeness : her space had been created by Charlie Chaplin, but he hadn't given up his space : he'd taken MY space. They both looked at me like I was the asshole here. No... I was just the asshole who'd let two BIGGER assholes get away with pushing me out of my spot. The lesson is clear : don't give even milimetres, let alone inches, to selfish pricks who come late to premieres and have a sense of entitlement.

Time for some whinin' so feel free to skip this: the lady behind Charlie Chaplin spent two hours in the buildup of this premiere slowly edging and angling herself from the second row into the first row, slowly but surely chatting him up while pushing Charlie Chaplin across into MY spot where I was forced into losing first a fully front-facing spot, then forced into a diagonal-facing position, then to the point where I only had a hand-hold on the barrier. When the woman, first with a handhold, then angled view and then a FULL FRONT ROW SPOT then turned to Charlie Chaplin to ask whether he'd be okay moving to the side for her daughter when the time came to get autographs, I'd had enough and turned to both of them and called them out on their rudeness : her space had been created by Charlie Chaplin, but he hadn't given up his space : he'd taken MY space. They both looked at me like I was the asshole here. No... I was just the asshole who'd let two BIGGER assholes get away with pushing me out of my spot. The lesson is clear : don't give even milimetres, let alone inches, to selfish pricks who come late to premieres and have a sense of entitlement.

 But in good news for my fragile psyche : I appear to have photographed the hallucination I thought I had.

But in good news for my fragile psyche : I appear to have photographed the hallucination I thought I had.

 Malin Akerman's cheery smile almost - almost - makes me forget momentarily that I'm standing next to some a55holes. The pattern on the dress makes me think that maybe there's also an element of hypnotism involved.

Malin Akerman's cheery smile almost - almost - makes me forget momentarily that I'm standing next to some a55holes. The pattern on the dress makes me think that maybe there's also an element of hypnotism involved.

 I've photographed Malin Akerman once before, at    the world premiere of "Watchmen"    back in 2009. That movie was probably the last thing Zack Snyder directed that I didn't either walk out of (   Man of Steel   ); get drunk before and during watching (   Batman v Superman   ); or disregarding entirely (  Justice League  ). Watchmen is pretty great, though.

I've photographed Malin Akerman once before, at the world premiere of "Watchmen" back in 2009. That movie was probably the last thing Zack Snyder directed that I didn't either walk out of (Man of Steel); get drunk before and during watching (Batman v Superman); or disregarding entirely (Justice League). Watchmen is pretty great, though.

  "While that guy over there waxes lyrical about a movie released almost a decade ago, let me tell you what it was like working with Dwayne Johnson...."

"While that guy over there waxes lyrical about a movie released almost a decade ago, let me tell you what it was like working with Dwayne Johnson...."

 The Pink Bow on Noamie Harris' dress looks like it belongs to another dress entirely. But perhaps the bow consumed that dress, and in searching for a new host found one in what Noamie Harris was wearing.

The Pink Bow on Noamie Harris' dress looks like it belongs to another dress entirely. But perhaps the bow consumed that dress, and in searching for a new host found one in what Noamie Harris was wearing.

 Noamie Harris, meanwhile is best known for being Moneypenny in the Daniel Craig-era James Bond films - including    Skyfall    and    Spectre   .

Noamie Harris, meanwhile is best known for being Moneypenny in the Daniel Craig-era James Bond films - including Skyfall and Spectre.

 Wait.. did I forget to mention that the threat of the pink bow on Naomie Harris' dress is at least as terrifying as the blue trousers it's joined forces with? Because that's a thing. And as you can tell by my beanie collection if you know me, ... I know fashion.

Wait.. did I forget to mention that the threat of the pink bow on Naomie Harris' dress is at least as terrifying as the blue trousers it's joined forces with? Because that's a thing. And as you can tell by my beanie collection if you know me, ... I know fashion.

  "The bow and trousers are both heavily sedated and will be put into separate wardrobes when the night is over. I promise. And I'll also have a word with the designer who put the two together" . I assume those words will be  "Mission Accomplished"

"The bow and trousers are both heavily sedated and will be put into separate wardrobes when the night is over. I promise. And I'll also have a word with the designer who put the two together". I assume those words will be "Mission Accomplished"

 It's Dwayne Johnson! The crowd's cheers for him were by far the loudest, though the still-signing Jeffrey Dean Morgan certainly won many hearts. Or so my cold, Charlie Chaplin and From-Somewhere-On-The-Subcontinent-hating, Heart assumes, unable to feel much beyond burning hatred.

It's Dwayne Johnson! The crowd's cheers for him were by far the loudest, though the still-signing Jeffrey Dean Morgan certainly won many hearts. Or so my cold, Charlie Chaplin and From-Somewhere-On-The-Subcontinent-hating, Heart assumes, unable to feel much beyond burning hatred.

 Dwayne Johnson's look of cool calmness distracts me from whatever screed of hatred I was thinking of composing....   something about Naomie Harris' dress, I think?

Dwayne Johnson's look of cool calmness distracts me from whatever screed of hatred I was thinking of composing....  something about Naomie Harris' dress, I think?

  "He's going to stand here for another few minutes so as to inspire you all to do more with your inadequate lives.... and also give our sculptor a chance to carve his likeness into a statue that will inspire generations to come....." . I like Dwayne Johnson, and last photographed him in the also-   Brad-Peyton directed "San Andreas"

"He's going to stand here for another few minutes so as to inspire you all to do more with your inadequate lives.... and also give our sculptor a chance to carve his likeness into a statue that will inspire generations to come.....". I like Dwayne Johnson, and last photographed him in the also-Brad-Peyton directed "San Andreas"

Dwayne Johnson 2
Dwayne Johnson  4

The Several Faces of Dwayne Johnson

Dwayne Johnson 3
aDSC_3302.jpg
  "Imma inspire the rest of y'all later, but for now I just want to talk to this one guy in the crowd. He's bald and/or balding like me, but he so rarely wears a jacket over a t-shirt like me, and when he does it's always black. What's that about? And get some biceps, man. Buy them or borrow them, it doesn't matter. The ladiez don't even mind being CALLED The Ladiez if you get yourself biceps. And abs,.... but first biceps. And a film career and an amazing smile".  I'm writing all this down. This is good stuff.

"Imma inspire the rest of y'all later, but for now I just want to talk to this one guy in the crowd. He's bald and/or balding like me, but he so rarely wears a jacket over a t-shirt like me, and when he does it's always black. What's that about? And get some biceps, man. Buy them or borrow them, it doesn't matter. The ladiez don't even mind being CALLED The Ladiez if you get yourself biceps. And abs,.... but first biceps. And a film career and an amazing smile".
I'm writing all this down. This is good stuff.

  "When this premiere is over (and after you've paid and seen the movie of course) - everybody go out there and get yourself biceps!!!"

"When this premiere is over (and after you've paid and seen the movie of course) - everybody go out there and get yourself biceps!!!"

  "I'm just going to stand here and keep looking at him...."

"I'm just going to stand here and keep looking at him...."

 As Dwayne Johnson basks in the glow of the crowd and decides that signing autographs might bring forth the kind of crush that the biceps he needs to move tectonic plates back into palce in San Andreas 2.... Brad Peyton takes to the stage.  (Also, sorry to say that Charlie Chaplin and Subcontinental Mom got neither autographs or selfies from Dwayne Johnson you. And you'll find that my sympathy is measurable, but it would required the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland and even that might mistake it for something with zero mass)

As Dwayne Johnson basks in the glow of the crowd and decides that signing autographs might bring forth the kind of crush that the biceps he needs to move tectonic plates back into palce in San Andreas 2.... Brad Peyton takes to the stage.
(Also, sorry to say that Charlie Chaplin and Subcontinental Mom got neither autographs or selfies from Dwayne Johnson you. And you'll find that my sympathy is measurable, but it would required the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland and even that might mistake it for something with zero mass)

  "Wait... you've been doing premiere photography since 2008 and had a website since 2014 and still haven't found a way to monetise it?? Why NOT??"  Feel free to call me philanthropically motivated. I just love people.

"Wait... you've been doing premiere photography since 2008 and had a website since 2014 and still haven't found a way to monetise it?? Why NOT??" Feel free to call me philanthropically motivated. I just love people.

 Jeffrey Dean Morgan is still signing autographs and the dealer crush from behind matches or exceeds the crush from the side. He was also in 'Watchmen (2009)' with Malin Akerman, but is possibly more famous for his recurring role in "The Walking Dead" which is highly appropriate at this premiere...

Jeffrey Dean Morgan is still signing autographs and the dealer crush from behind matches or exceeds the crush from the side. He was also in 'Watchmen (2009)' with Malin Akerman, but is possibly more famous for his recurring role in "The Walking Dead" which is highly appropriate at this premiere...

 Jeffrey Dean Morgan recognises That Guy.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan recognises That Guy.

 Jeffrey Dean Morgan is confused by the same thing as director Brad Peyton, it seems. Either that or he's mesmerised by my style beanie. Which is unlikely as that's back at the office.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan is confused by the same thing as director Brad Peyton, it seems. Either that or he's mesmerised by my style beanie. Which is unlikely as that's back at the office.

gain

So... that was that. If I had to summarise the premiere, it would be "Terrible Experience, But Fantastic Angle". And I guess in theory that's all you need in photography, which is (I guess) why I do it : more experience, and +1 for the Archive of Premieres. I'm sure I'll laugh about it later....

Until next time!

ps. If you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or if you don't trust facebook anymore, why not on the other company they own : twitter, at berndt2_photo

pps. If you're ever around me and dressed up as a gold- or silver-painted Charlie Chaplin street performer, and want anything from me in the future, feel free to f**k off...

ppps. If you're that woman who barged herself into the front row over the course of two hours of flirting with a gold-painted Charlie Chaplin - be advised if you ever show up at a premiere and try that sh*t around me again, I will make sure everyone - and I mean - EVERYONE around knows precisely what you're doing.

Peace and love, everybody.

9 Apr - 'The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society' World Premiere

April 9th, 2018.

Just one day after The Olivier Awards at the Royal Albert Hall, it was already time for a premiere. I had a late-night phone call, and was working from home, and it was expected to rain. Good times, with high stakes, as it were.

Here's how it went down.

 Fake cherry blossoms! pens three-quarters dedicated to media and only one quarter for fans... and only about 40 people having wristbands for the event! It was set to be quite the unusual evening (ps. I'm not sure, but I think the trees were fake)

Fake cherry blossoms! pens three-quarters dedicated to media and only one quarter for fans... and only about 40 people having wristbands for the event! It was set to be quite the unusual evening (ps. I'm not sure, but I think the trees were fake)

  "Do I REALLY have to type every letter into google to search for this movie?... doesn't predictive text give me ANYTHING?"  - This movie's title is such that I've been referring to it as "The Guernsey Blahblahblah...." in my notes, though I've bucked that line of thinking for the title of this journal.

"Do I REALLY have to type every letter into google to search for this movie?... doesn't predictive text give me ANYTHING?" - This movie's title is such that I've been referring to it as "The Guernsey Blahblahblah...." in my notes, though I've bucked that line of thinking for the title of this journal.

 The camera lady is certainly pretty, but from where I sit a few hours later, I almost wish I'd focussed more on the foreground, at the lady with the  "but whatever shall I do if Michiel Huisman doesn't show up?"  expression of imminent despair.

The camera lady is certainly pretty, but from where I sit a few hours later, I almost wish I'd focussed more on the foreground, at the lady with the "but whatever shall I do if Michiel Huisman doesn't show up?" expression of imminent despair.

  "I know you. You're the guy who keeps saying that people owe him five dollars".  Tom Courtenay has had two Academy Award nominations - in 1966 and 1984 - and has won three BAFTAs. But I don't talk about the Baftas anymore. Not since the Thing that happened... happened this year.

"I know you. You're the guy who keeps saying that people owe him five dollars". Tom Courtenay has had two Academy Award nominations - in 1966 and 1984 - and has won three BAFTAs. But I don't talk about the Baftas anymore. Not since the Thing that happened... happened this year.

  "I'll sign autographs if you pay in cigarettes. That's the deal I'll commit to. Also don't tell my wife."

"I'll sign autographs if you pay in cigarettes. That's the deal I'll commit to. Also don't tell my wife."

  "It's true. It's the first time ever we couldn't fit the name of the movie on the Curzon's Marquee. But I think we came to a decent compromise"

"It's true. It's the first time ever we couldn't fit the name of the movie on the Curzon's Marquee. But I think we came to a decent compromise"

 Graham Broadbent is a producer, who was academy award nominated for Best Picture for    'Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri'    this year.

Graham Broadbent is a producer, who was academy award nominated for Best Picture for 'Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri' this year.

  "The tie isn't for sale. And I'm not signing That"  - Mike Newell directed this film. The last film he directed was an adaptation of    "Great Expectations" that was featured in the 2012 BFI London Film Festival   ... and he famously directed the fourh Harry Potter film : The Goblet of Fire.

"The tie isn't for sale. And I'm not signing That" - Mike Newell directed this film. The last film he directed was an adaptation of "Great Expectations" that was featured in the 2012 BFI London Film Festival... and he famously directed the fourh Harry Potter film : The Goblet of Fire.

  "I'll happily accept compliments on the hat. It is, indeed, a great hat. But I'm still not signing That"

"I'll happily accept compliments on the hat. It is, indeed, a great hat. But I'm still not signing That"

  "The expression on my face that you're looking at is the one I call the 'I don't need a ticket to see this movie, because of the expression on my face' face"  . It's an expression I'm still working on.

"The expression on my face that you're looking at is the one I call the 'I don't need a ticket to see this movie, because of the expression on my face' face" . It's an expression I'm still working on.

  "If I find out you've been selling my autograph at a discounted rate, I will be very displeased. Keep the price high, don't flood the market, and we'll all make out like thieves. Don't get greedy"  - I kind of think it would be awesome if dealers had to face the demands of their stars.

"If I find out you've been selling my autograph at a discounted rate, I will be very displeased. Keep the price high, don't flood the market, and we'll all make out like thieves. Don't get greedy" - I kind of think it would be awesome if dealers had to face the demands of their stars.

  "This is how I make sure you only photograph my good side"  - Jessica Brown Findlay was in 20 episodes of 'Downton Abbey', as well as the movie    'A New York Winter's Tale'    which... well... let's not mention A New York Winter's Tale any more than we have to.

"This is how I make sure you only photograph my good side" - Jessica Brown Findlay was in 20 episodes of 'Downton Abbey', as well as the movie 'A New York Winter's Tale' which... well... let's not mention A New York Winter's Tale any more than we have to.

  "Awww... come on. That was another me... from, like, a parallel universe or something... who was in that film"  - Jessica Brown Findlay was also in 11 episodes of the TV show 'Harlots'

"Awww... come on. That was another me... from, like, a parallel universe or something... who was in that film" - Jessica Brown Findlay was also in 11 episodes of the TV show 'Harlots'

  "I think that this facial expression worked for another dude who came in earlier, and I wish to invoke that very expression and all the rights and privileges attendant to it"  - much like that other gentleman, I have no idea who this is, but the expression on his face is quite determinedly compelling.

"I think that this facial expression worked for another dude who came in earlier, and I wish to invoke that very expression and all the rights and privileges attendant to it" - much like that other gentleman, I have no idea who this is, but the expression on his face is quite determinedly compelling.

  "There sure are a lot of them" "Actually, they cut the numbers drastically for this premiere" "But they're making the same amount of noise as a full herd... how is that possible?" "We're still not sure"

"There sure are a lot of them"
"Actually, they cut the numbers drastically for this premiere"
"But they're making the same amount of noise as a full herd... how is that possible?"
"We're still not sure"

  "I think you guys are all right. And I say that without knowing, or wanting to get to know, any more of you than this"  - Glen Powell is in this movie, and was also in the excellent "Hidden Figures (2017)"

"I think you guys are all right. And I say that without knowing, or wanting to get to know, any more of you than this" - Glen Powell is in this movie, and was also in the excellent "Hidden Figures (2017)"

  "What if I don't sign or do selfies .... and instead just kind nod in your direction" . Personally, as somebody who comes to premieres to take photos, I think Lily James is pretty enough for this bargain to have merit.

"What if I don't sign or do selfies .... and instead just kind nod in your direction". Personally, as somebody who comes to premieres to take photos, I think Lily James is pretty enough for this bargain to have merit.

 Weird off-angle flash high-key photography : yes we can.

Weird off-angle flash high-key photography : yes we can.

 ...comment required.

...comment required.

 I will say one thing for this premiere : spirits were exceedingly high. Maybe it was the ratio of Media to Autograph Dealers being particularly high.

I will say one thing for this premiere : spirits were exceedingly high. Maybe it was the ratio of Media to Autograph Dealers being particularly high.

  "Maybe if I don't look at them, they'll conclude I can't see or hear them"  I've photographed Lily James looking very pretty at premieres as diverse as "   The Darkest Hour   " (last year),    "Pride & Prejudice & Zombies"    (in 2016) and Disney's live action    "Cinderella" remake    (2015).

"Maybe if I don't look at them, they'll conclude I can't see or hear them" I've photographed Lily James looking very pretty at premieres as diverse as "The Darkest Hour" (last year), "Pride & Prejudice & Zombies" (in 2016) and Disney's live action "Cinderella" remake (2015).

  "Hold that thought. I think I hear an autograph dealer who needs me" . Glen Powell also had a role in the third Expendables film.... AND played the role of 'Trader 1' in Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Rises!

"Hold that thought. I think I hear an autograph dealer who needs me". Glen Powell also had a role in the third Expendables film.... AND played the role of 'Trader 1' in Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Rises!

  "And by not looking at them you've convinced them that not only do you not exist, but you've made them question whether they THEMSELVES possibly don't exist? That's brilliant!"

"And by not looking at them you've convinced them that not only do you not exist, but you've made them question whether they THEMSELVES possibly don't exist? That's brilliant!"

 I like Lily James, I've decided. Sure, eye-contact is basically impossible to obtain, but that just makes it all more interesting. Until next premiere, Lily James  (wait... did that come out totally creepy? I didn't mean it to come out creepy)

I like Lily James, I've decided. Sure, eye-contact is basically impossible to obtain, but that just makes it all more interesting. Until next premiere, Lily James (wait... did that come out totally creepy? I didn't mean it to come out creepy)

 Much as I like Lily James (and I very much do) I'm kind of also taken by the expressions and body language of the people behind her : the glowering shadowy man, and the transfixed cameraman. Alternatively, sure, maybe I'm just using them as pretext to post another photo of Lily James in this journal. Hold your horses, Michiel Huisman fans... he hasn't shown up yet.

Much as I like Lily James (and I very much do) I'm kind of also taken by the expressions and body language of the people behind her : the glowering shadowy man, and the transfixed cameraman. Alternatively, sure, maybe I'm just using them as pretext to post another photo of Lily James in this journal. Hold your horses, Michiel Huisman fans... he hasn't shown up yet.

  "Sure you can tell  us we look pretty. Why would you think you couldn't??"

"Sure you can tell  us we look pretty. Why would you think you couldn't??"

  "And you want me to sign this for your 'Cousin'? Just exactly how many cousins who are fans of mine do you have, and why aren't they here? Just kidding, keep those posters coming, guys"

"And you want me to sign this for your 'Cousin'? Just exactly how many cousins who are fans of mine do you have, and why aren't they here? Just kidding, keep those posters coming, guys"

  "You know me from that one role I've been in 20 episodes of Game of Thrones? That's quite the accomplishment"  Michiel Huisman is best known for playing Daario Naharis in Game of Thrones, one of the few TV series I actually watch.

"You know me from that one role I've been in 20 episodes of Game of Thrones? That's quite the accomplishment" Michiel Huisman is best known for playing Daario Naharis in Game of Thrones, one of the few TV series I actually watch.

 <insert surprised exclamation here>

<insert surprised exclamation here>

  "They're really not going to stop chanting unless you sign something, you know. It's part of their... um.... "charm" " . ON the plus side, it's started to rain and some of those posters and photos are going to get wet.

"They're really not going to stop chanting unless you sign something, you know. It's part of their... um.... "charm" ". ON the plus side, it's started to rain and some of those posters and photos are going to get wet.

  "Okay, I've decided that I like you. What, hypothetically, do you want me to sign that's NOT from Game of Thrones?"  Michiel Huisman was also, rather surprisingly, in both Brad Pitt's "World War Z" and "The Age of Adaline"

"Okay, I've decided that I like you. What, hypothetically, do you want me to sign that's NOT from Game of Thrones?" Michiel Huisman was also, rather surprisingly, in both Brad Pitt's "World War Z" and "The Age of Adaline"

So.. that was that. A bit rushed, a bit short, and very congested in an overcrowded pen that the organisers decided was better than using all the space available in the setup that had been laid out. But hey... who doesn't like having views blocked by umbrellas and being surrounded by surging packs of autograph dealers who suddenly decide that they're fans of Tom Courtenay.

I was pretty glad to get out of there and head home for dinner and a phone conference.... and of course it's always fun to photograph the many expressions on the versatile face of Lily James (A quick side-question : Compliments... how do they work?)

Until next time!

ps. If you want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or on twitter at berndt2_photo.


pps. If you want to see other premieres I've been to, suffered through, gotten rained upon during, or occasionally quite enjoyed in a casual laid-back way, the Archive of Premieres is Here.