premieres

5 Nov - The 'Paddington2' World Premiere

November 5th, 2017.

Just a few days ago I was at Royal Albert Hall for the World Premiere of 'Murder on the Orient Express', and I followed that up with two additional back-to-back visits to the Royal Albert Hall, for concerts by the noted film composer James Newton Howard, and the following day the noted game composer Nobuo Uematsu.

And just when it seemed safe to have a weekend day off, another world premiere! Here's how it went down:

BFI Southbank was the venue for this premiere, and though I would have liked to photograph this premiere from the footbridge overlooking the event, Security were uncertain whether it was a valid place or whether I'd be asked to leave (being security at an event is complicated..)

BFI Southbank was the venue for this premiere, and though I would have liked to photograph this premiere from the footbridge overlooking the event, Security were uncertain whether it was a valid place or whether I'd be asked to leave (being security at an event is complicated..)

"I'd dress like this even if there wasn't a premiere on"  - the first   'Paddington' movie had its premiere in Leicester Square in 2014  , and it rained.

"I'd dress like this even if there wasn't a premiere on" - the first 'Paddington' movie had its premiere in Leicester Square in 2014, and it rained.

Awesome news : jugglers now get Access All Areas to red carpets. Possibly just for this premiere, but I'd almost be willing to take it up full-time if it applied to all premieres.

Awesome news : jugglers now get Access All Areas to red carpets. Possibly just for this premiere, but I'd almost be willing to take it up full-time if it applied to all premieres.

So much going on in this photo : a deck of World Premiere Tickets, a panicked eye-glance, and possibly somebody reaching into a purse. But I'm an observer - I try not to interfere in the natural process of events if I can.

So much going on in this photo : a deck of World Premiere Tickets, a panicked eye-glance, and possibly somebody reaching into a purse. But I'm an observer - I try not to interfere in the natural process of events if I can.

"Take my word for it - there is nothing - absolutely NOTHING - happening on this side of the barrier you're glancing over. Move along. Enjoy your Sunday. Try the food markets behind the Theatre Royal - the Duck Burgers with Blue Cheese, Truffle Oil and Honey are incredible."

"Take my word for it - there is nothing - absolutely NOTHING - happening on this side of the barrier you're glancing over. Move along. Enjoy your Sunday. Try the food markets behind the Theatre Royal - the Duck Burgers with Blue Cheese, Truffle Oil and Honey are incredible."

Is it me, or are they designing cameras to look more aggressive these days? That's probably why they're hanging cheerful balloons around them as a distraction.

Is it me, or are they designing cameras to look more aggressive these days? That's probably why they're hanging cheerful balloons around them as a distraction.

Simon Farnaby is co-writer of this film, but among his imdb.com credits is not only being a writer of such TV series as 'Blunder' and 'Yonderland', but he had the role of 'Blue Five' in the Star Wars movie   'Rogue One', which has the 1yr anniversary of the abomination of its "premiere"   coming up.

Simon Farnaby is co-writer of this film, but among his imdb.com credits is not only being a writer of such TV series as 'Blunder' and 'Yonderland', but he had the role of 'Blue Five' in the Star Wars movie 'Rogue One', which has the 1yr anniversary of the abomination of its "premiere" coming up.

Karen Jankel is the daughter of Paddington creator Michael Bond, who attended   the first movie's premiere  .

Karen Jankel is the daughter of Paddington creator Michael Bond, who attended the first movie's premiere.

"If producing movies means standing up on these stages rather than taking photos from the crowd, I'm going to keep doing it, Rosie"  - David Heyman produced all the Harry Potter movies (including   Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them  ), as well as Gravity and   'The Light Between Oceans'  .

"If producing movies means standing up on these stages rather than taking photos from the crowd, I'm going to keep doing it, Rosie" - David Heyman produced all the Harry Potter movies (including Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them), as well as Gravity and 'The Light Between Oceans'.

I don't know who this is, but arbitrarily I will pronounce him to be Brent Spiner, who played Commander Data in Star Trek The Next Generation and the quirky Dr Okun in both Independence Day movies?  (edited to add : he's more likely Mark Benton, not Brent Spiner; with thanks to Gray!!)

I don't know who this is, but arbitrarily I will pronounce him to be Brent Spiner, who played Commander Data in Star Trek The Next Generation and the quirky Dr Okun in both Independence Day movies? (edited to add : he's more likely Mark Benton, not Brent Spiner; with thanks to Gray!!)

"Cut-off jeans I've heard of, but cut-off ties are a thing now??"  Tom Conti's imdb listing makes for fascinating reading, as he was nominated for a Best Actor Oscar in 1984 for the movie "Reuben, Reuben"

"Cut-off jeans I've heard of, but cut-off ties are a thing now??" Tom Conti's imdb listing makes for fascinating reading, as he was nominated for a Best Actor Oscar in 1984 for the movie "Reuben, Reuben"

Tom Conti also played the role of 'Prisoner' in 'The Dark Knight Rises' - and... yeah, he does look familiar! (I think!) (he wasn't wearing a tie in the movie..)

Tom Conti also played the role of 'Prisoner' in 'The Dark Knight Rises' - and... yeah, he does look familiar! (I think!) (he wasn't wearing a tie in the movie..)

"I love how this bow tie gives me access everywhere. Although that said, I am in this movie... honestly."  - Ben Miller plays the role of 'The Colonel' in the movie.

"I love how this bow tie gives me access everywhere. Although that said, I am in this movie... honestly." - Ben Miller plays the role of 'The Colonel' in the movie.

"The bow tie has achieved sentience and will be trying to sneak me into Buckingham Palace later tonight without my consent. You've GOT to stop it somehow!!"

"The bow tie has achieved sentience and will be trying to sneak me into Buckingham Palace later tonight without my consent. You've GOT to stop it somehow!!"

"The bow tie now wants a free large popcorn and a small diet coke from the concession stand inside - give it what it wants, for goodness' sake!!"

"The bow tie now wants a free large popcorn and a small diet coke from the concession stand inside - give it what it wants, for goodness' sake!!"

"I wasn't in the third one"  - on the basis of 'I try to watch every movie I was at the premiere of.... eventually' I'm still eventually going to have to watch   "Nativity!2 Danger in the Manger" one day.   One bright, sunny, weird day. Jessica Hynes was in that one.

"I wasn't in the third one" - on the basis of 'I try to watch every movie I was at the premiere of.... eventually' I'm still eventually going to have to watch "Nativity!2 Danger in the Manger" one day. One bright, sunny, weird day. Jessica Hynes was in that one.

"I hear it even got a VHS release....."  - Jessica Hynes was also in Shaun of the Dead (2004) and played the role of Mafalda Hopkirk  in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

"I hear it even got a VHS release....." - Jessica Hynes was also in Shaun of the Dead (2004) and played the role of Mafalda Hopkirk  in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Even more fundamental to the Harry Potter alumni of cast members : Julie Walters hasn't just been nominated for Oscars, but she played Ron's mother Molly Weasley across the entire saga.

Even more fundamental to the Harry Potter alumni of cast members : Julie Walters hasn't just been nominated for Oscars, but she played Ron's mother Molly Weasley across the entire saga.

"Let's see if anybody brought any 'Educating Rita' Merch for me to sign..."  - Julie Walters has had two Oscar nominations - one from that film, the other from "Billy Elliot (2000)"

"Let's see if anybody brought any 'Educating Rita' Merch for me to sign..." - Julie Walters has had two Oscar nominations - one from that film, the other from "Billy Elliot (2000)"

"Directing movies ain't like dusting crops. You could fly straight through a star and that'd end your career real fast"  - Paul King directed (and co-wrote) Paddington 2, and also directed the first Paddington.

"Directing movies ain't like dusting crops. You could fly straight through a star and that'd end your career real fast" - Paul King directed (and co-wrote) Paddington 2, and also directed the first Paddington.

"I don't know where that earlier quote was adapted from. Probably a movie - a small independent movie whose studio would never sue me for appropriating it"

"I don't know where that earlier quote was adapted from. Probably a movie - a small independent movie whose studio would never sue me for appropriating it"

"To be fair, any question you ask me is going to come across as aggressive with that camera behind me pointing at the back of my head...."

"To be fair, any question you ask me is going to come across as aggressive with that camera behind me pointing at the back of my head...."

"The Oscar was for 'Iris' in 2002, yes, but I still feel very proud of my rendition of 'Like A Virgin' on the Moulin Rouge soundtrack...."

"The Oscar was for 'Iris' in 2002, yes, but I still feel very proud of my rendition of 'Like A Virgin' on the Moulin Rouge soundtrack...."

"People underestimate the importance of comfortable furniture"  Jim Broadbent was also Horce Slughorn (and/or a sofa) in   Harry Potter and the Halfblood Prince   (where I didn't photograph him) and   The Deathly Hallows part2   (where I did)

"People underestimate the importance of comfortable furniture" Jim Broadbent was also Horce Slughorn (and/or a sofa) in Harry Potter and the Halfblood Prince (where I didn't photograph him) and The Deathly Hallows part2 (where I did)

"I gotta get home in time to watch V for Vendetta..."  Madeleine Harris plays/played the young Judy Brown in Paddington2 (and the first one). And tonight is Guy Fawkes Night. Remember Remember the Vth of November and all that....

"I gotta get home in time to watch V for Vendetta..." Madeleine Harris plays/played the young Judy Brown in Paddington2 (and the first one). And tonight is Guy Fawkes Night. Remember Remember the Vth of November and all that....

Samuel Joslin (left) plays the other Brown sibling, although he was also in "The Impossible (2012)". And you really should watch 'V for Vendetta' - the score to that movie, like this one, was composed by academy award winning Dario Marianelli

Samuel Joslin (left) plays the other Brown sibling, although he was also in "The Impossible (2012)". And you really should watch 'V for Vendetta' - the score to that movie, like this one, was composed by academy award winning Dario Marianelli

"Is it hard being evil? Did you, like, go method and punch crying children just to get into character?"  Taking the Baton of Villainy from Nicole Kidman, who played the chief antagonist in the prior movie, is Hugh Grant

"Is it hard being evil? Did you, like, go method and punch crying children just to get into character?" Taking the Baton of Villainy from Nicole Kidman, who played the chief antagonist in the prior movie, is Hugh Grant

"I kinda want to get off stage just in case the giant organ behind me suddenly goes off and the shockwave destroys the bridge that's overhead"

"I kinda want to get off stage just in case the giant organ behind me suddenly goes off and the shockwave destroys the bridge that's overhead"

Hugh Bonneville is best known for being in 52 episodes of 'Downton Abbey' as well as such movies/premieres as   'Viceroy's House'   and   'Monuments Men'  .

Hugh Bonneville is best known for being in 52 episodes of 'Downton Abbey' as well as such movies/premieres as 'Viceroy's House' and 'Monuments Men'.

"The heat radiating from this thing is amazing. It's not radioactivity or anything, is it?"

"The heat radiating from this thing is amazing. It's not radioactivity or anything, is it?"

Hugh Grant recounted an anecdote whereby he was sent a letter offering him the role in this movie as a  'washed-out ageing, desperate-to-regain-relevance Narcissist'  as the producers thought he'd be perfect for it. He said he was mildly offended, but admitted it was a good role.

Hugh Grant recounted an anecdote whereby he was sent a letter offering him the role in this movie as a 'washed-out ageing, desperate-to-regain-relevance Narcissist' as the producers thought he'd be perfect for it. He said he was mildly offended, but admitted it was a good role.

"They said 'ageing narcissist has-been' like it was a BAD thing, but it doesn't *have* to be, Baby"

"They said 'ageing narcissist has-been' like it was a BAD thing, but it doesn't *have* to be, Baby"

Arguably this premiere's most important attendee : Ben Whishaw, who plays the voice of Paddington Bear in this movie.

Arguably this premiere's most important attendee : Ben Whishaw, who plays the voice of Paddington Bear in this movie.

"Any of y'all with anything except James Bond and Paddington stuff for me to sign? Get to the back of the queue"

"Any of y'all with anything except James Bond and Paddington stuff for me to sign? Get to the back of the queue"

"It's considerably warmer inside and, unlike everyone out here, we're legitimately famous.... so why are we out here again?"  - after introducing the movie inside, the stars all assembled in front of the giant organ for a final group shot before heading off for some kind of raucous afterparty or a game of whist at Jim Broadbent's or whatnot.

"It's considerably warmer inside and, unlike everyone out here, we're legitimately famous.... so why are we out here again?" - after introducing the movie inside, the stars all assembled in front of the giant organ for a final group shot before heading off for some kind of raucous afterparty or a game of whist at Jim Broadbent's or whatnot.

"If you want my autograph, you're not just going to have to get past a crowd, some paparazzi and motivated security, but you'll have to get past Julie Walters, and I don't recommend attempting that...."  The two Korean girls to my right look like that's a challenge that might be worth taking.

"If you want my autograph, you're not just going to have to get past a crowd, some paparazzi and motivated security, but you'll have to get past Julie Walters, and I don't recommend attempting that...." The two Korean girls to my right look like that's a challenge that might be worth taking.

"Oh, very well. Julie's distracted anyway"

"Oh, very well. Julie's distracted anyway"

So... that was that, a Sunday premiere in the cold noon of an Autumn London, under a bridge and nowhere near a train station I can directly head home from. Still... another one for The Archive of Premieres, right next to its predecessor. There's no major premieres now til a fortnight from now. Might see if I can find something to do with my time until then....

Until next time!

ps. if you want to know when I post one of these premieres (or you feel like you're not following enough people on social media these days), feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or on twitter at berndt2_photo... and/or I don't remember what I am on instagram. I think there's a link at the bottom of this page...

2 Nov - The 'Murder on the Orient Express' World Premiere

November 2nd, 2017.

Yesterday at lunchtime, I picked up a rather worrying wristband #226 to (then) tomorrow's World Premiere of 'Murder on the Orient Express'. That number wasn't exactly great, I thought, but then I remembered that's about the wristband number I get most BAFTAs, and I seem to do okay at those.

I had no idea 24 hours later how bad... and then unexpectedly awesome... it was going to get. Here's how it went down:

This year, the Royal Albert Hall hosted   The Baftas   and   The Oliviers   (and composer   Michael Giacchino's 50th   Birthday). But it rarely hosts premiers... and when it does they're invariably HUGE. Like...James Cameron's   Titanic in 3D  , and James Bond's   Skyfall   and   Spectre   HUGE.

This year, the Royal Albert Hall hosted The Baftas and The Oliviers (and composer Michael Giacchino's 50th Birthday). But it rarely hosts premiers... and when it does they're invariably HUGE. Like...James Cameron's Titanic in 3D, and James Bond's Skyfall and Spectre HUGE.

It was 2pm and as at now, the venue wasn't even close to ready. Security told all us wristband holders to shift location, and then shift location AGAIN so that we were now a mass of people kinking around a corner.  And then, in an act of infamy so incomprehensibly moronic as to defy explanation, all the wristband holders with numbers 300+ to 600+ were independently led to the front of the TOP pens of the Royal Albert Hall and given the front row, leaving everyone with wristband numbers less than them queueing for the main pens at the bottom.

It was 2pm and as at now, the venue wasn't even close to ready. Security told all us wristband holders to shift location, and then shift location AGAIN so that we were now a mass of people kinking around a corner.

And then, in an act of infamy so incomprehensibly moronic as to defy explanation, all the wristband holders with numbers 300+ to 600+ were independently led to the front of the TOP pens of the Royal Albert Hall and given the front row, leaving everyone with wristband numbers less than them queueing for the main pens at the bottom.

AND THEN somebody at from Security had to come and admit that there ... well... maybe weren't enough spaces in the main pens to hold the number of people still waiting there, so everyone with wristbands 200-300 was now given the choice of either (a) getting a spot BEHIND everyone with wristbands 300-600 in already full pens.... or (b) not being guaranteed any spot in ANY pen at all if there was no space.

AND THEN somebody at from Security had to come and admit that there ... well... maybe weren't enough spaces in the main pens to hold the number of people still waiting there, so everyone with wristbands 200-300 was now given the choice of either (a) getting a spot BEHIND everyone with wristbands 300-600 in already full pens.... or (b) not being guaranteed any spot in ANY pen at all if there was no space.

Fuming, I waited for half an hour to get this spot, standing second row behind a dude considerably taller than me, and with a wristband number that should have put him THREE HUNDRED spots behind me. Then again... could be worse... this was approximately my spot during   this year's 2017 Baftas   and that turned out okay.  Still... not happy, Jan.

Fuming, I waited for half an hour to get this spot, standing second row behind a dude considerably taller than me, and with a wristband number that should have put him THREE HUNDRED spots behind me. Then again... could be worse... this was approximately my spot during this year's 2017 Baftas and that turned out okay.

Still... not happy, Jan.

"Next time they put together a list this big, I want it bound and in hardcover. Or made into a deck of playing cards"

"Next time they put together a list this big, I want it bound and in hardcover. Or made into a deck of playing cards"

"The braziers are lit, the lights are on, and some dude with  a black backwards-facing baseball cap is about to start asking people to (yo, yo, yo) Make Some Noise. I wouldn't be anywhere else, Tom, but I would prefer to be wearing a beanie" . it's getting colder the nights.

"The braziers are lit, the lights are on, and some dude with  a black backwards-facing baseball cap is about to start asking people to (yo, yo, yo) Make Some Noise. I wouldn't be anywhere else, Tom, but I would prefer to be wearing a beanie". it's getting colder the nights.

...... and then something remarkable happened. Security went past our pen and told us that a new pen was opening next to the Paparazzi further down, and if anyone wanted to, they could move there, like, Right Now.

And Right Now I'm not sure I've ever moved so fast at a premiere....

I don't believe the universe has a sense of justice. It's a vile, vindictive monster that sometimes lets you have a moment of joy just to confuse you. And, yeah, I'm confused... but also pretty damn grateful..

I don't believe the universe has a sense of justice. It's a vile, vindictive monster that sometimes lets you have a moment of joy just to confuse you. And, yeah, I'm confused... but also pretty damn grateful..

If I had wristband #1 and was given a choice of any pen position that the crowd ended up being allowed to be, I would have chosen precisely this spot without hesitation.... and I just acquired it wearing a wristband with #226 at a premiere where the organisation skillz on display fit somewhere between  "facebook privacy concerns"  and  "degree to which my train company is actually sorry for any inconvenience".  'Weird' doesn't begin to cover it!

If I had wristband #1 and was given a choice of any pen position that the crowd ended up being allowed to be, I would have chosen precisely this spot without hesitation.... and I just acquired it wearing a wristband with #226 at a premiere where the organisation skillz on display fit somewhere between "facebook privacy concerns" and "degree to which my train company is actually sorry for any inconvenience". 'Weird' doesn't begin to cover it!

A short time later, director and lead Kenneth Branagh arrives - among other movies he's directed   Marvel's Thor  , and the live action version of   Disney's Cinderella  ; plus he's been nominated for five different categories of Academy Award - from Lead and Support acting to Directing and Short Film and Adapted Screenplay.

A short time later, director and lead Kenneth Branagh arrives - among other movies he's directed Marvel's Thor, and the live action version of Disney's Cinderella; plus he's been nominated for five different categories of Academy Award - from Lead and Support acting to Directing and Short Film and Adapted Screenplay.

"Didn't I see you in Sydney back in '11 ?"  Sure... (and wow that was a long time ago now)

"Didn't I see you in Sydney back in '11 ?" Sure... (and wow that was a long time ago now)

"You cleared the carpet so I could sprint maniacally along it in a zig-zag pattern with gleeful abandon? I'm touched... but I might just walk if that's okay"  - Dame Judi Dench is in this movie, and one of the two James Bond movies that also had their premieres at the Royal Albert Hall (  Skyfall  )

"You cleared the carpet so I could sprint maniacally along it in a zig-zag pattern with gleeful abandon? I'm touched... but I might just walk if that's okay" - Dame Judi Dench is in this movie, and one of the two James Bond movies that also had their premieres at the Royal Albert Hall (Skyfall)

"They've all been told. You can punch any that disobey. Or ask security to punch them for you"  - Dame Judi Dench suffers from an eye ailment and all the Paparazzi were instructed to turn OFF their flashes when photographing her.

"They've all been told. You can punch any that disobey. Or ask security to punch them for you" - Dame Judi Dench suffers from an eye ailment and all the Paparazzi were instructed to turn OFF their flashes when photographing her.

One of the weirdest things I've ever experienced at a premiere is hearing the 10fps clicking of dozens and dozens of professional photographers without seeing a single flash go off. ( both of my two cameras are set up without an attached flash )

One of the weirdest things I've ever experienced at a premiere is hearing the 10fps clicking of dozens and dozens of professional photographers without seeing a single flash go off. (both of my two cameras are set up without an attached flash)

"But... but... I wanted to run all along the carpet in a zig-zag pattern with gleeful abandon!"  Michelle Pfeiffer, who is in this movie, has arrived. I've only photographed her once previously, and not particularly well, at   the premiere of Dark Shadows   back in 2012

"But... but... I wanted to run all along the carpet in a zig-zag pattern with gleeful abandon!" Michelle Pfeiffer, who is in this movie, has arrived. I've only photographed her once previously, and not particularly well, at the premiere of Dark Shadows back in 2012

"Stop calling me a 'thespian' - there's one guy that keeps doing it thinking it's some kind of ego-boosting thing. I'm just an actor, man"  - noted thespian Sir Derek Jakobi is in this movie.

"Stop calling me a 'thespian' - there's one guy that keeps doing it thinking it's some kind of ego-boosting thing. I'm just an actor, man" - noted thespian Sir Derek Jakobi is in this movie.

"I know he's an autograph dealer and therefore not to be trusted, but I don't see how he could have stolen your wallet from all the way over there....."

"I know he's an autograph dealer and therefore not to be trusted, but I don't see how he could have stolen your wallet from all the way over there....."

Michelle Pfeiffer approaches the parapazzi cordon, and a guy in our pen really wants her autograph and is calling out for her in a voice several octaves higher than his regular speaking voice, which is disconcerting.

Michelle Pfeiffer approaches the parapazzi cordon, and a guy in our pen really wants her autograph and is calling out for her in a voice several octaves higher than his regular speaking voice, which is disconcerting.

My Favourite Catwoman. (Though I thought Anne Hathaway was very good)

My Favourite Catwoman. (Though I thought Anne Hathaway was very good)

"Well, I hope you're feeling pleased with yourself after all those hours spent waiting in the cold and uncertainty of a world premiere".  (Between you and me my photos on the night weren't entirely all that great, quality wise, especially given my proximity to the stars. All I can conclude is that usually I have to work much harder at premieres, and being given an easier spot confused me?)

"Well, I hope you're feeling pleased with yourself after all those hours spent waiting in the cold and uncertainty of a world premiere". (Between you and me my photos on the night weren't entirely all that great, quality wise, especially given my proximity to the stars. All I can conclude is that usually I have to work much harder at premieres, and being given an easier spot confused me?)

"He's rambling ungratefully about something that has nothing to do with our movie. Let's move on"

"He's rambling ungratefully about something that has nothing to do with our movie. Let's move on"

And I might even have taken another shot of this scene with the camera held back a bit, and in doing so taken my first ever premiere selfie (featuring not one but FIVE noted actors). I say "might have". It was a weird night. Any number of things *might* have also have happened.

And I might even have taken another shot of this scene with the camera held back a bit, and in doing so taken my first ever premiere selfie (featuring not one but FIVE noted actors). I say "might have". It was a weird night. Any number of things *might* have also have happened.

"That's where Judi Dench stood, but I gotta warn you, they're probably going to use their flashes at full power for you"  - Tom Bateman is in this movie

"That's where Judi Dench stood, but I gotta warn you, they're probably going to use their flashes at full power for you" - Tom Bateman is in this movie

"They really REALLY want you to sign some Batman Return stuff. They asked me to tell you that. "really REALLY". Look, they made me write it on my hand and everything" "...." "So you're saying 'no'? I should tell them you said 'no'?" "....." "I'm going to tell them you said 'no'"

"They really REALLY want you to sign some Batman Return stuff. They asked me to tell you that. "really REALLY". Look, they made me write it on my hand and everything"
"...."
"So you're saying 'no'? I should tell them you said 'no'?"
"....."
"I'm going to tell them you said 'no'"

"OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!" "I'm only signing 'Grease2' and 'Sinbad : Legend of the Seven Seas' stuff...."

"OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!"
"I'm only signing 'Grease2' and 'Sinbad : Legend of the Seven Seas' stuff...."

"I'm NOBODY!!" this man cried out. Well, firstly, nobody wearing a bow tie like that is a nobody, and secondly unlike most of the people around me I did know who he was.

"I'm NOBODY!!" this man cried out. Well, firstly, nobody wearing a bow tie like that is a nobody, and secondly unlike most of the people around me I did know who he was.

Patrick Doyle is a composer who has done the music for most of Kenneth Branagh's movies (including Thor and Cinderella), but he's also scored a Harry Potter movie (Goblet of Fire), a Planet of the Apes movie ('Rise...') and a Pixar movie ('Brave'). His two Oscar nominations were for 'Hamlet' and 'Sense & Sensibility'.

Patrick Doyle is a composer who has done the music for most of Kenneth Branagh's movies (including Thor and Cinderella), but he's also scored a Harry Potter movie (Goblet of Fire), a Planet of the Apes movie ('Rise...') and a Pixar movie ('Brave'). His two Oscar nominations were for 'Hamlet' and 'Sense & Sensibility'.

"OMG - that's Patrick Doyle. He's awesome" - I know! Lucy Boynton is in this movie, and there's no reason she wouldn't/ couldn't be a soundtrack afficionado.

"OMG - that's Patrick Doyle. He's awesome" - I know! Lucy Boynton is in this movie, and there's no reason she wouldn't/ couldn't be a soundtrack afficionado.

"Somewhat impractical for wielding a lightsaber while wearing, but it's pretty, I guess".  Daisy Ridley is arguably best known for a being a collectible Star Wars figurine tied to a movie series she's also in. She's also in this movie, and I'm not sure if there are collectible toys they're planning to release.

"Somewhat impractical for wielding a lightsaber while wearing, but it's pretty, I guess". Daisy Ridley is arguably best known for a being a collectible Star Wars figurine tied to a movie series she's also in. She's also in this movie, and I'm not sure if there are collectible toys they're planning to release.

.... and I don't even like Star Wars! (ps. to anyone who saw the unedited version of this image, where the pink ear of the dude behind Daisy Ridley was seemingly poking out of the side of her head... I can only apologise (again))

.... and I don't even like Star Wars!
(ps. to anyone who saw the unedited version of this image, where the pink ear of the dude behind Daisy Ridley was seemingly poking out of the side of her head... I can only apologise (again))

"Could you just sign one or two lunchboxes, a few mint on card figures, a couple of posters and DVDs and this piece of paper for my cousin?" "What's you're cousin's name?" "He's... uh.... got the same name as I do. But that's just a coincidence"  Daisy Ridley declined to sign in our area...

"Could you just sign one or two lunchboxes, a few mint on card figures, a couple of posters and DVDs and this piece of paper for my cousin?"
"What's you're cousin's name?"
"He's... uh.... got the same name as I do. But that's just a coincidence"

Daisy Ridley declined to sign in our area...

"She wouldn't sign? Well, I can autograph those figures for you if you want, and if Disney is okay with that".  Personally, I think Disney is okay with you doing anything they can sue you for later,  or grab another 5% of the box office take in retribution .

"She wouldn't sign? Well, I can autograph those figures for you if you want, and if Disney is okay with that". Personally, I think Disney is okay with you doing anything they can sue you for later, or grab another 5% of the box office take in retribution.

"I can't afford to get sued by Disney - I'm young and pretty and I want to be in one of their franchises one day!"  ... and don't we all.

"I can't afford to get sued by Disney - I'm young and pretty and I want to be in one of their franchises one day!" ... and don't we all.

"No, seriously, it's just a simple waiver form. Everyone's signed it. You don't need to read it. This is nothing suspicious"  - Sergei Polunin looks doubtful, and is also in this movie.

"No, seriously, it's just a simple waiver form. Everyone's signed it. You don't need to read it. This is nothing suspicious" - Sergei Polunin looks doubtful, and is also in this movie.

"I signed it. I hope it's a contract to use my name and likeness for a smart-casual fragrance to which I'll be entitled to 51% of the profits... I hear that happens sometimes"

"I signed it. I hope it's a contract to use my name and likeness for a smart-casual fragrance to which I'll be entitled to 51% of the profits... I hear that happens sometimes"

"Spontaneously discreet fist-bump?" "But I was going for a quiet low-five." "Damnit.. we need to co-ordinate this better"  - Josh Gad is in this movie and best known (arguably) as the voice of the snowman Olaf in Disney's 'Frozen'

"Spontaneously discreet fist-bump?"
"But I was going for a quiet low-five."
"Damnit.. we need to co-ordinate this better"
- Josh Gad is in this movie and best known (arguably) as the voice of the snowman Olaf in Disney's 'Frozen'

Olivia Colman was excellent in the fanastic   'The Lobster (2015)'  ... but does that beige purse fit with the colour of that dress? I don't know the answer to that question, and it's after midnight and I can't think of any online resources to answer this question... other than literally typing it into Google I suppose.

Olivia Colman was excellent in the fanastic 'The Lobster (2015)'... but does that beige purse fit with the colour of that dress? I don't know the answer to that question, and it's after midnight and I can't think of any online resources to answer this question... other than literally typing it into Google I suppose.

"It's not beige. It's freakin' Light Salmon" . My mistake.

"It's not beige. It's freakin' Light Salmon". My mistake.

"They're still calling me to sign stuff. But nothing from Studio Ghibli..... all Star Wars stuff". Even I was surprised to read that Daisy Ridley was a voice in the English dub of "Only Yesterday"... also because she was born in 1992 while that movie was made in 1991. I guess that's theoretically possible....

"They're still calling me to sign stuff. But nothing from Studio Ghibli..... all Star Wars stuff". Even I was surprised to read that Daisy Ridley was a voice in the English dub of "Only Yesterday"... also because she was born in 1992 while that movie was made in 1991. I guess that's theoretically possible....

It's true. I'm part of the small minority that feels Disney's 'Tangled' wasn't just better, but highly superior, to 'Frozen'. And I will defend my position.

It's true. I'm part of the small minority that feels Disney's 'Tangled' wasn't just better, but highly superior, to 'Frozen'. And I will defend my position.

"She's not in the cast of the movie, but her agent says she skinned that alpaca  and hand-dyed its pelt herself, which she adds is not easy"

"She's not in the cast of the movie, but her agent says she skinned that alpaca  and hand-dyed its pelt herself, which she adds is not easy"

"yes you have".  I was all set to say that sadly I've never watched anything Leslie Odom Jr. has been in, but it turns out he was in the George Lucas-produced "Red Tails" (2012) which... well... watch it if you have to, I suppose.

"yes you have". I was all set to say that sadly I've never watched anything Leslie Odom Jr. has been in, but it turns out he was in the George Lucas-produced "Red Tails" (2012) which... well... watch it if you have to, I suppose.

Leslie Odom Jr.

Leslie Odom Jr.

"OMG it's Leslie Odom Junior. JUNIOR!!!"

"OMG it's Leslie Odom Junior. JUNIOR!!!"

I don't know who this is, but she's pretty and knows it to the point where she was professional enough to turn to every single photographer but NOT me, showing she clearly realises how little pull I have in the world of fashion (this despite all the years Ive covered Tha Streetz at London Fashion Week...)

I don't know who this is, but she's pretty and knows it to the point where she was professional enough to turn to every single photographer but NOT me, showing she clearly realises how little pull I have in the world of fashion (this despite all the years Ive covered Tha Streetz at London Fashion Week...)

"I'm just going to ask you some random questions now... I'll be honest I'm mostly just waiting for Willem Dafoe, Penelope Cruz and Johnny Depp to show up."

"I'm just going to ask you some random questions now... I'll be honest I'm mostly just waiting for Willem Dafoe, Penelope Cruz and Johnny Depp to show up."

"I'm mostly signing this so that the dealers further below get really pissed off I'm not signing it for them".  Some days there is no higher reason to do anything than To Piss Off Autograph Dealers.

"I'm mostly signing this so that the dealers further below get really pissed off I'm not signing it for them". Some days there is no higher reason to do anything than To Piss Off Autograph Dealers.

With the arrival of Penelope Cruz, we're about nine down, two to go from the poster used to advertise this movie (and EVERYONE is set to attend this World Premiere)

With the arrival of Penelope Cruz, we're about nine down, two to go from the poster used to advertise this movie (and EVERYONE is set to attend this World Premiere)

"But I wasn't even in a Star Wars movie. What could they possibly want me to sign?"  Penelope Cruz won a best supporting Oscar for Vicky Christina Barcelona, but is arguably (and possibly regrettably) best known for being in Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides (the 4th one)

"But I wasn't even in a Star Wars movie. What could they possibly want me to sign?" Penelope Cruz won a best supporting Oscar for Vicky Christina Barcelona, but is arguably (and possibly regrettably) best known for being in Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides (the 4th one)

"Oh, to have chosen a slimming and shimmering black dress over this faux cheetah thing I'm wearing..." "I'm sorry... are you touching my arm while regretting that?"

"Oh, to have chosen a slimming and shimmering black dress over this faux cheetah thing I'm wearing..."
"I'm sorry... are you touching my arm while regretting that?"

"Don't worry, I'll get that other one looked at"  If you backed me into a corner and asked me to name five movies Penelope Cruz was in RIGHT NOW, I think four would be me mistaking her for Salma Hayek. And vice versa.

"Don't worry, I'll get that other one looked at" If you backed me into a corner and asked me to name five movies Penelope Cruz was in RIGHT NOW, I think four would be me mistaking her for Salma Hayek. And vice versa.

"Oh, very well.... I guess I can sign one or two movies I was in. Or Derek Jacobi was in - I'm pretty sure I know how his signature goes..."

"Oh, very well.... I guess I can sign one or two movies I was in. Or Derek Jacobi was in - I'm pretty sure I know how his signature goes..."

"I don't mind. That first Spider-Man trilogy was quite a while ago now.."  Willem Dafoe risks being swamped by dealers who have just discovered Johnny Depp is just behind him. He was The Green Goblin in the Toby Maguire Spider-Man franchise.

"I don't mind. That first Spider-Man trilogy was quite a while ago now.." Willem Dafoe risks being swamped by dealers who have just discovered Johnny Depp is just behind him. He was The Green Goblin in the Toby Maguire Spider-Man franchise.

"If I roll this dice and the number is even, I'll sign that. But if it's not.... let's just say it'll be interesting. Are you in?"  Most recently Willem Dafoe was in (but technically not entirely at   the BFI London Film Festival premiere of) "The Florida Project"  .

"If I roll this dice and the number is even, I'll sign that. But if it's not.... let's just say it'll be interesting. Are you in?" Most recently Willem Dafoe was in (but technically not entirely at the BFI London Film Festival premiere of) "The Florida Project".

At first i was going to make a comment about how even famous film stars will look up at a large monitor and admire themselves being shown on it. But in this case I think it was broadcasting the mayhem of Johnny Depp signing for the Main Dealer Pen.

At first i was going to make a comment about how even famous film stars will look up at a large monitor and admire themselves being shown on it. But in this case I think it was broadcasting the mayhem of Johnny Depp signing for the Main Dealer Pen.

"I made it out alive. Sort of. Only just."  - it's Johnny Depp!!! You know... he's of   "It's Johnny Dep!!!"   fame.

"I made it out alive. Sort of. Only just." - it's Johnny Depp!!! You know... he's of "It's Johnny Dep!!!" fame.

"All right. I forgot my sunglasses but I think I can get my driver to take me back to the hotel and help me with most of the stuff I need to do in the next 48 hours if you medically blind me..."  - I've photographed Johnny Depp at several premieres, including   "Public Enemies"  , "  The Lone Ranger"   and   "Black Mass"

"All right. I forgot my sunglasses but I think I can get my driver to take me back to the hotel and help me with most of the stuff I need to do in the next 48 hours if you medically blind me..." - I've photographed Johnny Depp at several premieres, including "Public Enemies", "The Lone Ranger" and "Black Mass"

"Mortdecai? Really? But my moustache is so much better now...."

"Mortdecai? Really? But my moustache is so much better now...."

"Half of the fun of wearing a bow-tie is having it lazily draped like this".  I say three-quarters.

"Half of the fun of wearing a bow-tie is having it lazily draped like this". I say three-quarters.

And that? Is that.

And that? Is that.

So that, unaccountably, and certainly unexpectedly, turned out to be pretty amazing in terms of being a huge reversal of fortune. But I'm tired now, so I'll reflect on it later. Maybe tomorrow. Oh wait... it's past midnight so it's ALREADY tomorrow.

Eh. I'm tired, I'm sorry about the spelling mistakes, and Until Next Time!

ps. if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or twitter at berndt2_photo; and if you want to tell me how hard it is to put people into a pen in number order... well... my life is boring enough. Why not.

17 Oct - 'The Death of Stalin' UK Premiere

October 17th, 2017.

With London Film Festival and its riches of premieres-as-far-as-the-eye-can-see now just a distant '48 hours ago' memory, my first post-BFI LFF premiere was scheduled at the Curzon Chelsea, a cinema I'd never photographed a premiere at. Not just that, but a rather big star I'd never photographed was set to attend. "I've travelled further for less" I thought to myself, not realising how close to skirting the extremities of that statement I'd be making.

Here's how it went down.

"It's been leaking red carpet all morning? That's pretty serious. You should have called us earlier"

"It's been leaking red carpet all morning? That's pretty serious. You should have called us earlier"

- we're in Chelsea for this premiere, and I foresee difficulty in spotting the Silver Mercedes cars usually used to dispense premiere celebs : in Chelsea, they're overshadowed by Aston Martins, AMG Mercs, Maseratis and Rolls Royces. You might as well show up in a Ford Focus

- we're in Chelsea for this premiere, and I foresee difficulty in spotting the Silver Mercedes cars usually used to dispense premiere celebs : in Chelsea, they're overshadowed by Aston Martins, AMG Mercs, Maseratis and Rolls Royces. You might as well show up in a Ford Focus

It's apparently a comedy, which I suppose might be the case for any tyrannical dictator who dies. I myself have a bottle of champagne on ice for when the CEO of my train company.... I'd probably better not finish that sentence.

It's apparently a comedy, which I suppose might be the case for any tyrannical dictator who dies. I myself have a bottle of champagne on ice for when the CEO of my train company.... I'd probably better not finish that sentence.

"Now, now. I can't confirm whether or not Steve, or Eric... or Leo, will be attending this premiere. Even if most of those names aren't on the poster".  Ah, but I have it on good authority (Autograph Dealer authority) that Steve Buscemi IS in town. And that's why I'm here

"Now, now. I can't confirm whether or not Steve, or Eric... or Leo, will be attending this premiere. Even if most of those names aren't on the poster". Ah, but I have it on good authority (Autograph Dealer authority) that Steve Buscemi IS in town. And that's why I'm here

"My good man - does this gain me entry to this cinema?" "No, but calling me "my good man" does...."

"My good man - does this gain me entry to this cinema?"
"No, but calling me "my good man" does...."

Remarkable catch by a wizard in our pen : this was later identified as Dudley Sutton, who I last photographed at the premiere of   "Outside Bet"  , where I wrote a comment I'm going to reheat and place right here:  "Ordinarily I'd merely comment on the hat and then move on. But my favourite sentence from his wikipedia entry is :  "In August 2003, he performed the one-man 'Killing Kittens' show at Edinburgh's Underbelly".  " - well played, Me In 2012.

Remarkable catch by a wizard in our pen : this was later identified as Dudley Sutton, who I last photographed at the premiere of "Outside Bet", where I wrote a comment I'm going to reheat and place right here:

"Ordinarily I'd merely comment on the hat and then move on. But my favourite sentence from his wikipedia entry is : "In August 2003, he performed the one-man 'Killing Kittens' show at Edinburgh's Underbelly". " - well played, Me In 2012.

I don't know who this or if he's famous... but he's got That Kind Of Face, if you know what I mean? Famous, accomplished people have faces like this man.

I don't know who this or if he's famous... but he's got That Kind Of Face, if you know what I mean? Famous, accomplished people have faces like this man.

"He's Big In Theatre"  was all I was given when I took this photo. And though I had doubts at the time, I can confirm that he is Trevor Nunn, and he is indeed "Big In Theatre" - per wikipedia he's won 2 Tony Awards and 4 Olivier Awards.

"He's Big In Theatre" was all I was given when I took this photo. And though I had doubts at the time, I can confirm that he is Trevor Nunn, and he is indeed "Big In Theatre" - per wikipedia he's won 2 Tony Awards and 4 Olivier Awards.

"Hey, are you big in theatre?" "Who says I am?" "Nobody .Just something I ask of everyone I meet.."

"Hey, are you big in theatre?"
"Who says I am?"
"Nobody .Just something I ask of everyone I meet.."

This premiere just kind of already became Worth It : this is Roger Allam, and he played the role of the sleazy opinionated broadcaster Lewis Protheroe in one of my favourite movies : V for Vendetta (or as it's written in Germany, "V wie Vendetta", and thus confusingly pronounced 'Fau vee Vendetta')

This premiere just kind of already became Worth It : this is Roger Allam, and he played the role of the sleazy opinionated broadcaster Lewis Protheroe in one of my favourite movies : V for Vendetta (or as it's written in Germany, "V wie Vendetta", and thus confusingly pronounced 'Fau vee Vendetta')

"Yeah, yeah... England prevails..."  But its privatised train system will not, if there is any justice in this world. Or large enough mob to demand it.

"Yeah, yeah... England prevails..." But its privatised train system will not, if there is any justice in this world. Or large enough mob to demand it.

"What do you mean "am I famous"? Of course I'm bloody famous. Of all the people I know well, I'm certainly the one I look up to most for inspiration"  - I don't know who this is, though.

"What do you mean "am I famous"? Of course I'm bloody famous. Of all the people I know well, I'm certainly the one I look up to most for inspiration" - I don't know who this is, though.

"Am I Famous, he asks me! What kind of question is that to ask of anyone wearing a jacket like this on a night like this??"

"Am I Famous, he asks me! What kind of question is that to ask of anyone wearing a jacket like this on a night like this??"

Meanwhile, actually connected to this movie ("The Death of Stalin", in case you've/I've forgotten), is writer/director Armando Iannucci - who also wrote/created the multi-award winning TV comedy "Veep", and was Oscar Nominated for best original screenplay for the movie "In the Loop" which I have not (yet) watched.

Meanwhile, actually connected to this movie ("The Death of Stalin", in case you've/I've forgotten), is writer/director Armando Iannucci - who also wrote/created the multi-award winning TV comedy "Veep", and was Oscar Nominated for best original screenplay for the movie "In the Loop" which I have not (yet) watched.

It's Jason Isaacs! I'm disproportionately excited because although I've certainly photographed him before, I missed photographing him on back-to-back days at London Film Festival, and I'm usually not that lax, even on as little sleep as I get during London Film Festival.

It's Jason Isaacs! I'm disproportionately excited because although I've certainly photographed him before, I missed photographing him on back-to-back days at London Film Festival, and I'm usually not that lax, even on as little sleep as I get during London Film Festival.

"Yes, I'm in this movie... and yes, I'll also sign your Harry Potter merch..."  - Jason Isaacs played Draco Malfoy's father Lucius in the saga.

"Yes, I'm in this movie... and yes, I'll also sign your Harry Potter merch..." - Jason Isaacs played Draco Malfoy's father Lucius in the saga.

Between you and me, I took this photo because I just kind of got sick of only photographing dudes. (If that offends you, there's a dude in this picture too on the right)

Between you and me, I took this photo because I just kind of got sick of only photographing dudes. (If that offends you, there's a dude in this picture too on the right)

Turns out the  "dude in this picture too on the right"  dude from the picture prior to this one was in the TV Series 'Luther' from 2010-2015, and even more remarkably he was 'General Madine' in Return of the Jedi (a movie I have heard of....)

Turns out the "dude in this picture too on the right" dude from the picture prior to this one was in the TV Series 'Luther' from 2010-2015, and even more remarkably he was 'General Madine' in Return of the Jedi (a movie I have heard of....)

It's Michael Palin! He's actually in this movie! And at this premiere! And meanwhile, Steve Buscemi has cancelled his attendance, we've been informed (by the kind of people whose business, however unsavoury, it is to know such things).

It's Michael Palin! He's actually in this movie! And at this premiere! And meanwhile, Steve Buscemi has cancelled his attendance, we've been informed (by the kind of people whose business, however unsavoury, it is to know such things).

"Yeah, that rabbit was me, and years later the guy behind me still gets kick out of it"  - Paul Whitehouse is in this film, and was also the voice of the crazed March Hare in the two live-action Alice in Wonderland films.

"Yeah, that rabbit was me, and years later the guy behind me still gets kick out of it" - Paul Whitehouse is in this film, and was also the voice of the crazed March Hare in the two live-action Alice in Wonderland films.

"I can't just sign any picture of any rabbit, dude. Also... I'm not a zoologist, but that's not a rabbit"

"I can't just sign any picture of any rabbit, dude. Also... I'm not a zoologist, but that's not a rabbit"

The philosophy of "photograph anyone who looks interesting" (which I need when there are no A-grade Autograph Dealers better at facial recognition, or outdoor Paps to whom celebrities naturally gravitate) turns out to work here : this is the movie's co-writer David Schneider

The philosophy of "photograph anyone who looks interesting" (which I need when there are no A-grade Autograph Dealers better at facial recognition, or outdoor Paps to whom celebrities naturally gravitate) turns out to work here : this is the movie's co-writer David Schneider

.... and though I photographed Andrea Riseborough's parents when they entered the cinema (her PA introduced them!), and Andrea Riseborough did attend, I didn't get to photograph her as she apparently entered via another entrance (though I did here and here at London Film Festival).... but the biggest disappointment was in Steve Buscemi not turning up to the premiere despite being in town...

I guess I could wait for the people who didn't show up, or come in via the front entrance, to leave via this entrance, later?

I guess I could wait for the people who didn't show up, or come in via the front entrance, to leave via this entrance, later?

So... that was that, and very little more than that. Needless to say I missed my train home by the requisite 30 seconds, and immediately after its departure the next one was announced "delayed" .Thanks for that, a55holes.

Still... another premiere for the Archive, another Cinema for the brain bank, and another event to embellish into something sexier and more vital than, between you and me, it probably was.

Until next time!

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15 Oct - The BFI LFF 'Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri' Closing Gala

October 15th, 2017.

So... it's come to this. The Closing Gala of the 2017 BFI London Film Festival. And I've been boring everyone for weeks as soon as they announced the guests, the closing ceremony was THE EVENT it was all leading to. Why? Because the event contained not one but FOUR people I've never photographed before : Woody Harrelson, Sam Rockwell, Frances McDormand and the mighty PETER DINKLAGE.

Some days a girl has four names on a list... and I'm a guy, but there are four names... and there is a last.

Here's how it went down:

We've finally hit the end of BFI London Film Festival 2017, and some have weathered it better than others.

We've finally hit the end of BFI London Film Festival 2017, and some have weathered it better than others.

Long shadows signalling the end of a long unbroken sequence of Events I've Photographed that stretches back to Monday... two weeks ago. I'm still standing, but you could also call it slouching.

Long shadows signalling the end of a long unbroken sequence of Events I've Photographed that stretches back to Monday... two weeks ago. I'm still standing, but you could also call it slouching.

"These people mostly look unfamiliar to me, and not just because I'm looking at them upside-down". The List has more than four names on it... but mine has four. And a tick-mark next to each is what I want from this premiere.

"These people mostly look unfamiliar to me, and not just because I'm looking at them upside-down". The List has more than four names on it... but mine has four. And a tick-mark next to each is what I want from this premiere.

"Boss... I think we got a Code Alpha 314...." "You mean a better-than-average looking woman walking past us on our right?" "That too... but there's also a mass of sign-waving, drum-beating protesters in the park"  The solution turned out to be turning the music in the speakers up much, much louder.

"Boss... I think we got a Code Alpha 314...."
"You mean a better-than-average looking woman walking past us on our right?"
"That too... but there's also a mass of sign-waving, drum-beating protesters in the park"

The solution turned out to be turning the music in the speakers up much, much louder.

And to the beating of (literal) drums and chanting of (literal) protesters throwing (literal) leaflets and carrying huge signs and even blocking the car entry point of the premiere, it nonetheless began.

Our first arrival is not in this movie, but Stellan Skarsgard has been in movies as diverse as David Fincher (  The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo  ) and Marvel (  Thor The Dark World   for example)

Our first arrival is not in this movie, but Stellan Skarsgard has been in movies as diverse as David Fincher (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo) and Marvel (Thor The Dark World for example)

Forget every credit on the lengthy imdb listing of actress Sandy Martin : she was the Bartender in Speed (1994) !! I love that movie!!

Forget every credit on the lengthy imdb listing of actress Sandy Martin : she was the Bartender in Speed (1994) !! I love that movie!!

Kathryn Newton, meanwhile is apparently best known for being in a series called "Big Little Lies", though I'm looking with alarm at another entry, titled "Dog With A Blog". Damnit, if that's based on a true story I'm now going to be losing to ANIMALS in the quest to get a spot in a 'social influencers' pen at one of these premieres.

Kathryn Newton, meanwhile is apparently best known for being in a series called "Big Little Lies", though I'm looking with alarm at another entry, titled "Dog With A Blog". Damnit, if that's based on a true story I'm now going to be losing to ANIMALS in the quest to get a spot in a 'social influencers' pen at one of these premieres.

"You think I'm pretty? It's not just the dress? Because I'm pretty open to the notion that the dress adds a certain amount of pretty"

"You think I'm pretty? It's not just the dress? Because I'm pretty open to the notion that the dress adds a certain amount of pretty"

"Sure, I was in that... but I can't literally sign A DOG"  - it's hard to tell what anyone's saying behind the protesting drumming and chanting and the sound-system playing ABBA and Scissor Sister songs at volumes you could break sieges at religious compounds...

"Sure, I was in that... but I can't literally sign A DOG" - it's hard to tell what anyone's saying behind the protesting drumming and chanting and the sound-system playing ABBA and Scissor Sister songs at volumes you could break sieges at religious compounds...

Martin McDonagh has won an Oscar for 'best short film' AND directed "In Bruges", which was both very good AND I literally watched it while ON HOLIDAY IN BRUGES.

Martin McDonagh has won an Oscar for 'best short film' AND directed "In Bruges", which was both very good AND I literally watched it while ON HOLIDAY IN BRUGES.

A list has four names on it. This is one : SAM ROCKWELL, who I thought was excellent in Moon (2009), very good in "The Way Way Back", definitely in "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy", kind of 'eh' in "Iron Man 2" and I wanted to punch myself in the face during "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind"....

A list has four names on it. This is one : SAM ROCKWELL, who I thought was excellent in Moon (2009), very good in "The Way Way Back", definitely in "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy", kind of 'eh' in "Iron Man 2" and I wanted to punch myself in the face during "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind"....

"You're on somebody else's list in the number two position. Turn around"  - ventriloquy is a thing.

"You're on somebody else's list in the number two position. Turn around" - ventriloquy is a thing.

Three quarters of the people on My List Of Names are currently standing with their back to me. It's quite exciting.

Three quarters of the people on My List Of Names are currently standing with their back to me. It's quite exciting.

"Please don't make us turn around. We'll do anything!". well... damn. That's going to make me almost as sad as the cute Korean girl with the hand-written sign made specifically for Peter Dinklage.

"Please don't make us turn around. We'll do anything!". well... damn. That's going to make me almost as sad as the cute Korean girl with the hand-written sign made specifically for Peter Dinklage.

Even though my patience is slightly less limited than the battery charges on the two cameras I'm wielding to this event, it is not entirely unlimited. I do have to go to work tomorrow.

Even though my patience is slightly less limited than the battery charges on the two cameras I'm wielding to this event, it is not entirely unlimited. I do have to go to work tomorrow.

It's Frances McDormand! She won an Oscar for 'Fargo (1996)' and hopes nobody remembers she was in Transformers : Dark of the Moon even if it was no doubt a handy payday. And having photographed her, that's two tick-marks on my list of four.

It's Frances McDormand! She won an Oscar for 'Fargo (1996)' and hopes nobody remembers she was in Transformers : Dark of the Moon even if it was no doubt a handy payday. And having photographed her, that's two tick-marks on my list of four.

"Wait.. I haven't high-fived or chest-bumped Peter Dinklage yet!"  Frances McDormand is also married to one of the Coen Brothers directing duo : Joel (on the left of this photo).

"Wait.. I haven't high-fived or chest-bumped Peter Dinklage yet!" Frances McDormand is also married to one of the Coen Brothers directing duo : Joel (on the left of this photo).

Peter Dinklage (a) is awesome, (b) the third of four people I really wanted to photograph at this premiere, and (c) has just read the hand-written sign from the cute Korean girl in our pen.

Peter Dinklage (a) is awesome, (b) the third of four people I really wanted to photograph at this premiere, and (c) has just read the hand-written sign from the cute Korean girl in our pen.

"Oh, good. It's not a euphemism. I guess I feel safe enough to get closer".  Peter Dinklage is fantastic in Game of Thrones (and he didn't attend the s5 World Premiere as far as I could see, and that's nothing to do with his height and everything to do with my position)

"Oh, good. It's not a euphemism. I guess I feel safe enough to get closer". Peter Dinklage is fantastic in Game of Thrones (and he didn't attend the s5 World Premiere as far as I could see, and that's nothing to do with his height and everything to do with my position)

"Anyone here who calls me P-Diddy, even to be funny, is going to regret it deeply."

"Anyone here who calls me P-Diddy, even to be funny, is going to regret it deeply."

"Chronicles of Narnia? Really? That's what you like me best from??"

"Chronicles of Narnia? Really? That's what you like me best from??"

I don't care if Sam Rockwell was three-quarter profile and looking down, I don't care if Frances McDormand was rushing to get away, and I don't care that Peter Dinklage didn't stay to down shots with his fans. I'm calling it Three Down, One To Go.

"What's that freaking noise? My fans are usually so quiet and considerate..." - It's FOUR FROM FOUR. Uh... I mean... it's Woody Harrelson!!

"What's that freaking noise? My fans are usually so quiet and considerate..." - It's FOUR FROM FOUR. Uh... I mean... it's Woody Harrelson!!

"That's right. TWO."  Woody Harrelson has indeed been nominated for not one but two Academy Awards - for No Country For Old Men, and The People Vs Larry Flint (but not Now You See Me and Zombieland, which is what I like him best int!)

"That's right. TWO." Woody Harrelson has indeed been nominated for not one but two Academy Awards - for No Country For Old Men, and The People Vs Larry Flint (but not Now You See Me and Zombieland, which is what I like him best int!)

"Star Wars? Yeah... I'm the Star Wars. Me and Spock and Chewie and the Daleks and all that"

"Star Wars? Yeah... I'm the Star Wars. Me and Spock and Chewie and the Daleks and all that"

We've relocated to the interview section of the public pen to see if we can get better shots of some of the cast being interviewed. This has only brought us into closer proximity to screaming, placard-waving, paper flyer throwing protesters... so loud that the interview station has been moved closer to the cinema entrance.

Still...despite the noise, here's random attendee Rosamund Pike, of "What We Did On Our Holiday", "The World's End" and "Gone Girl" fame.

Still...despite the noise, here's random attendee Rosamund Pike, of "What We Did On Our Holiday", "The World's End" and "Gone Girl" fame.

"Wait... you were in JOHN WICK and you NEVER TOLD US?" . Not only that, but Peter Clarke is in this movie AND one of two cast members OF this movie who was also in the Man/Woman/Puppy rom(ish)com(ish)   "Marley & Me"

"Wait... you were in JOHN WICK and you NEVER TOLD US?". Not only that, but Peter Clarke is in this movie AND one of two cast members OF this movie who was also in the Man/Woman/Puppy rom(ish)com(ish) "Marley & Me"

"Marley and Me? What a great movie! I barely remember it..."

"Marley and Me? What a great movie! I barely remember it..."

"I like this country. In my country, when people hold up signs espousing Marxist philosophies, people risk getting shot".  And here they get ABBA songs played at them. Loudly.

"I like this country. In my country, when people hold up signs espousing Marxist philosophies, people risk getting shot". And here they get ABBA songs played at them. Loudly.

Oh, look. Shit got .... colourful.

Oh, look. Shit got .... colourful.

"The minimum wage is important, people. As is housing rights for whales, Veganism, Rail Nationalisation, and the right to make shitty DC Comics movies nobody wants to watch. So show some respect, okay?"

"The minimum wage is important, people. As is housing rights for whales, Veganism, Rail Nationalisation, and the right to make shitty DC Comics movies nobody wants to watch. So show some respect, okay?"

Is that it? Is it over? Can we go home now?

Is that it? Is it over? Can we go home now?

I decided it wasn't yet (quite) time to go just yet. Not because I'm unwilling to declare this BFI London Film Festival Finally Over, but because... well... what else was I going to do? Find out they've cancelled the 19:36 train to Bedford even sooner than I otherwise would?

For high-risk, low-return photography, there's nothing quite like shooting through a pane of glass at a distance with reflections on one side and photographers' flashes on the other. I like the pensive girl in the foreground of this.

For high-risk, low-return photography, there's nothing quite like shooting through a pane of glass at a distance with reflections on one side and photographers' flashes on the other. I like the pensive girl in the foreground of this.

Group Shot! (Sam Rockwell, the only person I haven't *really* photographed all that well at this premiere, is the only person whose face is bisected by the division in the glass doors of the cinema. Huzzah. Still ... a nice alignment.

Group Shot! (Sam Rockwell, the only person I haven't *really* photographed all that well at this premiere, is the only person whose face is bisected by the division in the glass doors of the cinema. Huzzah. Still ... a nice alignment.

Flawless victory. (Also : I know the guy at the top right in the reflection : hi, Midhat!)

Flawless victory. (Also : I know the guy at the top right in the reflection : hi, Midhat!)

So... that was that. BFI London Film Festival 2017. OVER. By my count I covered 17 events in 14 days (18 if you count a composer event), and I'm absolutely fine with there being a little break now. Last year after BFI LFF ended there were four premieres in a row on the following four days.... not so much this time around. Though after taking Monday off... there IS a premiere in London on Tuesday.

Until .... next time!

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