25 Apr - The 'A Hologram For The King' premiere

April 25th, 2016

It's the premiere before tomorrow's "Captain America Civil War" premiere, and I'm already pre-emptively seething at the alleged incompetence that saw me go to Westfield Shepherds Bush on Sunday morning, be told that the upstairs balcony I wanted a spot in didn't have wristbands for it not being a public pen.... only to find out today (Monday) that it had since become a pen, and wristbands were given to people who showed up today. That's a D1ck move, Westfield.

But all that aside, I had a premiere to contend with today, and it was for a movie I had no clue as to the prior existance of until the premiere was announced a few weeks ago. It's the implausibly titled "A Hologram For The King". Here's how it went down:

Far from the comforts of Leicester Square, BFI Southbank doesn't get many premieres, but it knows how to hold me ( *cough* Westfield *cough* ). And it's raining. Because that's what it does when my umbrella is dry and warm, either at home or in the office.

Far from the comforts of Leicester Square, BFI Southbank doesn't get many premieres, but it knows how to hold me ( *cough* Westfield *cough* ). And it's raining. Because that's what it does when my umbrella is dry and warm, either at home or in the office.

It sounds like an episode of Star Trek : The Next Generation, but instead it's a movie starring dual-Oscar winning actor Tom Hanks, and directed by Tom Tykwer, who directed Run Lola Run back in 1998 and most recently collaborated with Hanks and The Wachowskis on the hugely underrated "Cloud Atlas" in 2012

It sounds like an episode of Star Trek : The Next Generation, but instead it's a movie starring dual-Oscar winning actor Tom Hanks, and directed by Tom Tykwer, who directed Run Lola Run back in 1998 and most recently collaborated with Hanks and The Wachowskis on the hugely underrated "Cloud Atlas" in 2012

"None of us are Ben Whishaw, sadly..."

"None of us are Ben Whishaw, sadly..."

I was lucky I photographed "random pretty woman holding something red" next to a closed street cafe. Turns out she's almost certainly Megan Maczko, and she's in this movie!

I was lucky I photographed "random pretty woman holding something red" next to a closed street cafe. Turns out she's almost certainly Megan Maczko, and she's in this movie!

Mercedes vehicles typicall drive single-file. It helps hide their numbers. They also turn on their hazard lights during daytime because despite their numbers being tricky to pin down, they still want to be noticed.

Mercedes vehicles typicall drive single-file. It helps hide their numbers. They also turn on their hazard lights during daytime because despite their numbers being tricky to pin down, they still want to be noticed.

The front car dispenses this premiere's main drawcard, Tom Hanks. Despite winning best Actor Oscars for both Philadelphia (1993) and Forrest Gump (1994) is yet to play a role in either the Marvel or DC Comics Cinematic Universes.

The front car dispenses this premiere's main drawcard, Tom Hanks. Despite winning best Actor Oscars for both Philadelphia (1993) and Forrest Gump (1994) is yet to play a role in either the Marvel or DC Comics Cinematic Universes.

"I loved you as Loki!!" "That was Tom Hiddleston" "You were awesome as Bane in The Dark Knight Rises!!!" "That was Tom Hardy" "You're going to kick ass as Spider-man!!" "That's Tom Holland"  - quick aside : just exactly how many Toms with a surname starting with "H" can Hollywood reasonably sustain? Surely we're hitting some kind of maximum here...?

"I loved you as Loki!!"
"That was Tom Hiddleston"
"You were awesome as Bane in The Dark Knight Rises!!!"
"That was Tom Hardy"
"You're going to kick ass as Spider-man!!"
"That's Tom Holland"

 - quick aside : just exactly how many Toms with a surname starting with "H" can Hollywood reasonably sustain? Surely we're hitting some kind of maximum here...?

"I don't have to look over my left shoulder if I don't want to. And I don't. Want to, that is..."

"I don't have to look over my left shoulder if I don't want to. And I don't. Want to, that is..."

"The movie's title? No, I don't know what it means either. You should totally watch it, though."

"The movie's title? No, I don't know what it means either. You should totally watch it, though."

"The hair's real. So is the wind. So is the lack of a jacket I'm wearing in this cold wind" Christy Meyer is in this movie, and was also in the movie (though not the premiere of) "The Program" - the rather good movie about Lance Armstrong's doping history.

"The hair's real. So is the wind. So is the lack of a jacket I'm wearing in this cold wind" Christy Meyer is in this movie, and was also in the movie (though not the premiere of) "The Program" - the rather good movie about Lance Armstrong's doping history.

"Westfield withheld, misled and misinformed dedicated fans about wristbands for the Captain America Civil War premiere they were explicitly asked for one whole day prior to them being handed out to anyone who just showed up?" Personally, I'd hand back one of my two Oscars in protest....

"Westfield withheld, misled and misinformed dedicated fans about wristbands for the Captain America Civil War premiere they were explicitly asked for one whole day prior to them being handed out to anyone who just showed up?" Personally, I'd hand back one of my two Oscars in protest....

"But no, yeah... that totally sucks. I'd write a strongly worded letter. And sign it 'Tom Hanks' because that's likely to get more of a response than the name of somebody nobody's ever heard of. Also, there's this movie I'm trying to promote"

"But no, yeah... that totally sucks. I'd write a strongly worded letter. And sign it 'Tom Hanks' because that's likely to get more of a response than the name of somebody nobody's ever heard of. Also, there's this movie I'm trying to promote"

Sidse Babett Knudsen, whose name is awesome, is from Denmark and also in this movie.... and she's set to be in a movie with Tom Hanks again, having been cast in the movie 'Inferno' due sometime after tomorrow's Captain America Civil War premiere (i'm sorry : that event has become the new demarcation point of future history for me....)

Sidse Babett Knudsen, whose name is awesome, is from Denmark and also in this movie.... and she's set to be in a movie with Tom Hanks again, having been cast in the movie 'Inferno' due sometime after tomorrow's Captain America Civil War premiere (i'm sorry : that event has become the new demarcation point of future history for me....)

"Do I really look that uncomfortable to be standing next to you? It's the moutache. It's quite intimidating" Director Tom Tykwer arrives and meets somebody he desperately hopes is just a fan.

"Do I really look that uncomfortable to be standing next to you? It's the moutache. It's quite intimidating" Director Tom Tykwer arrives and meets somebody he desperately hopes is just a fan.

"What do you mean 'you don't know who I am?' - I don't know who you are either?" fair call.

"What do you mean 'you don't know who I am?' - I don't know who you are either?" fair call.

"Doesn't ANYBODY here know who I am? I'm on The List, people. Honest"

"Doesn't ANYBODY here know who I am? I'm on The List, people. Honest"

"She looks familiar. Let her in, I say"

"She looks familiar. Let her in, I say"

According to the always infallible imdb.com, Sarita Choudhury plays a named character in both Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1 and Part 2, but I can report I didn't photograph her at either premiere, and I don't remember the character "Egeria". But then those last two movies were sadly kind of pointless (and I say that as somebody who read the book(s))

According to the always infallible imdb.com, Sarita Choudhury plays a named character in both Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1 and Part 2, but I can report I didn't photograph her at either premiere, and I don't remember the character "Egeria". But then those last two movies were sadly kind of pointless (and I say that as somebody who read the book(s))

"If this is how you're taking photos, they probably won't turn out any good..."

"If this is how you're taking photos, they probably won't turn out any good..."

"Lady in the water? If my career is one thing, it's the idea of putting as many things between me on imdb and that particular movie". I'd love to be the person who says "Lady in the Water" was a misunderstood work of genius, but among many things wrong with it, it was written and directed by M Night Shyamalan who cast himself as a misunderstood genius writer in it.

"Lady in the water? If my career is one thing, it's the idea of putting as many things between me on imdb and that particular movie". I'd love to be the person who says "Lady in the Water" was a misunderstood work of genius, but among many things wrong with it, it was written and directed by M Night Shyamalan who cast himself as a misunderstood genius writer in it.

Tom Tykwer is not merely the director of this movie, he's also the composer of its soundtrack (and co-screenwriter) - Tykwer's score to 'Cloud Atlas' is incidentally, very good.

Tom Tykwer is not merely the director of this movie, he's also the composer of its soundtrack (and co-screenwriter) - Tykwer's score to 'Cloud Atlas' is incidentally, very good.

"Thanks guys. Good luck at the comic book movie premiere thing tomorrow. Try to remember it's just a lark" Thanks, Tom Hanks. Good use of the word 'lark', by the way.

"Thanks guys. Good luck at the comic book movie premiere thing tomorrow. Try to remember it's just a lark" Thanks, Tom Hanks. Good use of the word 'lark', by the way.

"Shh.... I'm humming the main theme from Cloud Atlas to mysef It's pretty great, so here's a link to it, ya cultural swines"

"Shh.... I'm humming the main theme from Cloud Atlas to mysef It's pretty great, so here's a link to it, ya cultural swines"

So... that was that. Time to head home, post some photos, and convince myself that tomorrow's premiere for Captain America Civil War is going to be crap because Westfield Hates Me.

Until then, though, there's this premiere, and it's another entry for The Archive Of Movie Premieres.

Until Next time!

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