11 Apr - The 'Eye in the Sky' UK Premiere

April 11th, 2016.

It wasn't even a week ago that I was in this very place, the Curzon Mayfair, photographing Kevin Costner at the premiere of "Criminal" wondering why they didn't close down the road for premieres there.

Less than a week later, for an entirely different premiere, they did. The movie : Eye in the Sky, a movie about the moral complexity of using drones in warfare. Or so I assume, based on the trailer. Now I've flown a DJI phantom, not so much in combat but with a small GoPro attached, and the morality there is already considerable. Start putting missiles on it, and... well.. the 'phantom's battery life kind of drops about 1/5 just with the weight of the gopro mounted on it, so I guess the point is : it's not the same.

Here's how the premiere went down:

Henry The Smiling Vacuum Cleaner gave me scant consolation when it was his f**king picture that caused an HOUR'S worth of reboots, restarts, and reinstalls of photoshop when I got home. I suppose I could blame Adobe for making a substandard product, Acer who seemingly can't make a machine with a functioning DVD-drive... but I like to blame things with eyes, fake or otherwise.

Henry The Smiling Vacuum Cleaner gave me scant consolation when it was his f**king picture that caused an HOUR'S worth of reboots, restarts, and reinstalls of photoshop when I got home. I suppose I could blame Adobe for making a substandard product, Acer who seemingly can't make a machine with a functioning DVD-drive... but I like to blame things with eyes, fake or otherwise.

"I laid out each of these specs of debris with exquisite loving care... so you better keep that damn vacuum cleaner away"

"I laid out each of these specs of debris with exquisite loving care... so you better keep that damn vacuum cleaner away"

"Movie premieres... so glamorous. Also, movies about drone warfare.. so exciting...."

"Movie premieres... so glamorous. Also, movies about drone warfare.. so exciting...."

"He says you owe him five dollars, but he'll take one of your Baftas... even one of your numerous TV ones".

"He says you owe him five dollars, but he'll take one of your Baftas... even one of your numerous TV ones".

Dame Helen Mirren has an Oscar, several Baftas, and an Olivier Award on her mantelpiece. I've got some framed family photos and some Bafta wristbands, if that counts as impressive?

Dame Helen Mirren has an Oscar, several Baftas, and an Olivier Award on her mantelpiece. I've got some framed family photos and some Bafta wristbands, if that counts as impressive?

Dame Helen Mirren has poise, elegance, and the ability to not give a crap when some paparazzo *cough* "politely" requests that you look over the left shoulder (or OTHER left shoulder)

Dame Helen Mirren has poise, elegance, and the ability to not give a crap when some paparazzo *cough* "politely" requests that you look over the left shoulder (or OTHER left shoulder)

"I'm going to get you two to hurt all the photographers in this half of the paparazzi pen. Meanwhile, I'll take on the other half myself...."

"I'm going to get you two to hurt all the photographers in this half of the paparazzi pen. Meanwhile, I'll take on the other half myself...."

I've somehow embarrassingly missed Monica Dolan in pretty much every role credited to her on imdb.com.... including ones for movies I've seen!

I've somehow embarrassingly missed Monica Dolan in pretty much every role credited to her on imdb.com.... including ones for movies I've seen!

"Hey, I'll gladly take that kind of anonymity. Any of y'all wanna change your name to Helen Mirren so I don't have to sign autographs for everyone here, you go right on ahead"

"Hey, I'll gladly take that kind of anonymity. Any of y'all wanna change your name to Helen Mirren so I don't have to sign autographs for everyone here, you go right on ahead"

"That's not a scarf, baby... it's a new kind of tie I just invented. Right now." If I had to guess, I'd guess this is Guy Hibbert, the writer of the screenplay. That's because generally only writers and director Terry Gilliam wear scarf/capes to premieres.

"That's not a scarf, baby... it's a new kind of tie I just invented. Right now." If I had to guess, I'd guess this is Guy Hibbert, the writer of the screenplay. That's because generally only writers and director Terry Gilliam wear scarf/capes to premieres.

"I kind of tend to be better at directing movies than solving algebra, but sure I'll take a look at your homework young man...." Gavin Hood is the director of this movie. He also directed X-Men Origins : Wolverine, so I'm surprised they let him out without an armed guard, even seven years later.

"I kind of tend to be better at directing movies than solving algebra, but sure I'll take a look at your homework young man...." Gavin Hood is the director of this movie. He also directed X-Men Origins : Wolverine, so I'm surprised they let him out without an armed guard, even seven years later.

"That guy's website is pretty amazing. You should check it out, leave comments and feedback, and share it with all your friends. I certainly intend to do that, after I check with my lawyers as to whether I can deny this comment came from me..."

"That guy's website is pretty amazing. You should check it out, leave comments and feedback, and share it with all your friends. I certainly intend to do that, after I check with my lawyers as to whether I can deny this comment came from me..."

"Woo! Drones!! Also... the movie is a bit more complex and nuanced than I'm making it seem with this pose...."

"Woo! Drones!! Also... the movie is a bit more complex and nuanced than I'm making it seem with this pose...."

"Weather's turned a bit. You think the flashes from the paparazzi might warm me up?"

"Weather's turned a bit. You think the flashes from the paparazzi might warm me up?"

"I'm sorry my dress is causing havoc with your contrast-detect autofocus...."

"I'm sorry my dress is causing havoc with your contrast-detect autofocus...."

".... also I swear these shoes are making a serious point about drone warfare"

".... also I swear these shoes are making a serious point about drone warfare"

Phoebe Fox appears to be smizing quite well in this photo.. meanwhile I'm wondering whether I might have photoshopped those lights in the background into more of a Mickey Mouse ears configuration and claimed it was a coincidence

Phoebe Fox appears to be smizing quite well in this photo.. meanwhile I'm wondering whether I might have photoshopped those lights in the background into more of a Mickey Mouse ears configuration and claimed it was a coincidence

"I can't tell if you're joking, or whether you're actually asking me to come up with a defence of recent drone legislation.... why don't you ask me about that third Bridget Jones film I'll be in?"

"I can't tell if you're joking, or whether you're actually asking me to come up with a defence of recent drone legislation.... why don't you ask me about that third Bridget Jones film I'll be in?"

"If I find out you're taking retina scans for your own nefarious purposes I will not be pleased". Whereas Dame Helen Mirren won her Oscar for playing The Queen in the movie "The Queen", Colin Firth one his playing The King in "The King's Speech". (sadly, Mark Rylance, who I photographed at the recent 2016 Olivier Awards, did not win his Best Supporting Actor Oscar in 'Bridge of Spies' by playing the Bridge)

"If I find out you're taking retina scans for your own nefarious purposes I will not be pleased". Whereas Dame Helen Mirren won her Oscar for playing The Queen in the movie "The Queen", Colin Firth one his playing The King in "The King's Speech". (sadly, Mark Rylance, who I photographed at the recent 2016 Olivier Awards, did not win his Best Supporting Actor Oscar in 'Bridge of Spies' by playing the Bridge)

"Smizing? As soon as I figure out what it is, I'll show YOU smizing!"

"Smizing? As soon as I figure out what it is, I'll show YOU smizing!"

"Please sign up for that dude's website newsletter. Follow him on twitter or facebook. And if you've ever figured out how an RSS feed works... do that too." Thanks, Colin Firth.

"Please sign up for that dude's website newsletter. Follow him on twitter or facebook. And if you've ever figured out how an RSS feed works... do that too." Thanks, Colin Firth.

King George VI and Queen Elizabeth II, plus possibly a time machine is involved there somehow.

King George VI and Queen Elizabeth II, plus possibly a time machine is involved there somehow.

"... I'm sorry. I just don't think those St Trinians movies are any good. There, I said it. Now, whatever you want to say about 'Legend of the Guardians : The Owls of Ga'hoole', you go ahead and say it" OMG, Zack Snyder directed an animated movie? Why didn't anybody tell/warn me? Does it have animated slow motion and a whole heap of mopey emo heroes?

"... I'm sorry. I just don't think those St Trinians movies are any good. There, I said it. Now, whatever you want to say about 'Legend of the Guardians : The Owls of Ga'hoole', you go ahead and say it" OMG, Zack Snyder directed an animated movie? Why didn't anybody tell/warn me? Does it have animated slow motion and a whole heap of mopey emo heroes?

"He might be about to write something about your name...." Babou Ceesay's name isn't merely fun to say, it's also attached to this movie, the Jack O'Connell movie '71, and the horror-comedy 'Severance'

"He might be about to write something about your name...." Babou Ceesay's name isn't merely fun to say, it's also attached to this movie, the Jack O'Connell movie '71, and the horror-comedy 'Severance'

Jessica Jones is such a popular TV show that imdb.com refuses to believe that you're more likely to be looking for information for it than any one of FORTY SIX actual human beings on the site that are actually NAMED Jessica Jones. This particular Jessica Jones, meanwhile, is the 47th on the site

Jessica Jones is such a popular TV show that imdb.com refuses to believe that you're more likely to be looking for information for it than any one of FORTY SIX actual human beings on the site that are actually NAMED Jessica Jones. This particular Jessica Jones, meanwhile, is the 47th on the site

"No, I was NOT excellent in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and I was NOT brilliant as 'M' in several of the more recent James Bond films. Do you want a third try to figure out who I'm not?"

"No, I was NOT excellent in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and I was NOT brilliant as 'M' in several of the more recent James Bond films. Do you want a third try to figure out who I'm not?"

"I'm going to give you one more chance to give me a photo to sign that ISN'T of Dame Judi Dench. Or I'm going to draw a moustache on it"

"I'm going to give you one more chance to give me a photo to sign that ISN'T of Dame Judi Dench. Or I'm going to draw a moustache on it"

"I"m not the writer and yet I'm wearing a scarf. Sorry about that". John Heffernan (fourth of his name on imdb.com) is in numerous TV series which, given I don't watch TV unless it's Sherlock or Game of Thrones, sadly means I've never previously heard of him.

"I"m not the writer and yet I'm wearing a scarf. Sorry about that". John Heffernan (fourth of his name on imdb.com) is in numerous TV series which, given I don't watch TV unless it's Sherlock or Game of Thrones, sadly means I've never previously heard of him.

Iain Glen, who I last photographed at the premiere of 'Bad Education' last year, is arguably best known for playing Lord Friendzone (aka. Ser Jorah Mormont) on Game of Thrones.

Iain Glen, who I last photographed at the premiere of 'Bad Education' last year, is arguably best known for playing Lord Friendzone (aka. Ser Jorah Mormont) on Game of Thrones.

I decide to quickly take out the iphone and do a quick panorama. Timing felt right

I decide to quickly take out the iphone and do a quick panorama. Timing felt right

"Don't worry, babes. Khaleesi's spies don't go much past Leicester Square. She won't find out about us... her drones are dragons and they don't fly this far East"

"Don't worry, babes. Khaleesi's spies don't go much past Leicester Square. She won't find out about us... her drones are dragons and they don't fly this far East"

So... that was premiere 1 of 3 in Three Days this week, and another one to add to my Archive of Movie Premieres. And if I have to waste upwards of an hour each night coaxing functionality out of my copy of Photoshop, expect to see even less cheerful commentary going forward, since I'm going to be spending valuable online cyberbullying time taking on one of the more misguidedly crap companies out there, who feel that the best way to serve customers seems to be forced product obsolescence and paradigm shift to renting incompetence rather than buying it outright. (And yet I uninstalled Google's Picasa within ten minutes of downloading it, since that product's primary objective seems to be to scan your harddrive for photos it can locate, index, and share with google...).

But remember : in contrast to mere corporate evil, drone warfare is actually morally complicated.

PS. If you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook by clicking here

Until next time!