13 Apr - 'The Jungle Book' European Premiere

April 13th, 2016.

Bill Murray! Scarlett Johansson! Idris Elba! Christopher Walken! Lupita Nyong'o! All of them are in Disney's new live-action remake(ish) version of The Jungle Book - but none of them are in town for the European Premiere!

However, the Director, and the film's only non-CG character, and the voice of the Jaguar Bagheera from the film did attend. As did I, for my third premiere in three days, following on from Monday's "Eye in the Sky" and yesterday's "Florence Foster Jenkins".

Here's how it went down:

It's a premiere, it's BFI Imax, and I'm not sure I've had any of the immunisation shots required for this environment.

It's a premiere, it's BFI Imax, and I'm not sure I've had any of the immunisation shots required for this environment.

"I like it when women work on my face. I prefer it actually". Cute makeup-applying girl weirdly didn't elect to enhance my appearance with anything. Guess my skin is still kind of flawless...

"I like it when women work on my face. I prefer it actually". Cute makeup-applying girl weirdly didn't elect to enhance my appearance with anything. Guess my skin is still kind of flawless...

"The Swing Band?? what kind of jungle IS this?" The kind where the themed rapper is still on his way...

"The Swing Band?? what kind of jungle IS this?" The kind where the themed rapper is still on his way...

"It's not a toy, it's an ACTION FIGURE. Actually, it's more of an investment, really...."

"It's not a toy, it's an ACTION FIGURE. Actually, it's more of an investment, really...."

Your friend and mine Hakeem Mr Impact rarely if ever makes the long trek down south of the Thames, but he had a swing band with him today. I guess DJ Subtropical Fusion got the evening off to work on his needlepoint or bonsai....

Your friend and mine Hakeem Mr Impact rarely if ever makes the long trek down south of the Thames, but he had a swing band with him today. I guess DJ Subtropical Fusion got the evening off to work on his needlepoint or bonsai....

As the map on the rather unhelpfully composed model shows, this premiere is not taking up a large arc of the subterranean BFI Imax, though the Green Carpet is a nice touch. Also, I can confirm that this European premiere will not be featuring the presences of any of Bill Murray (last photographed at The Monuments Men), Scarlett Johansson (last photographed at Avengers Age of Ultron), Idris Elba (last photographed at the 2016 Baftas), Lupita Nyong'o (2015 Baftas) or Christopher Walken (not yet photographed).

As the map on the rather unhelpfully composed model shows, this premiere is not taking up a large arc of the subterranean BFI Imax, though the Green Carpet is a nice touch. Also, I can confirm that this European premiere will not be featuring the presences of any of Bill Murray (last photographed at The Monuments Men), Scarlett Johansson (last photographed at Avengers Age of Ultron), Idris Elba (last photographed at the 2016 Baftas), Lupita Nyong'o (2015 Baftas) or Christopher Walken (not yet photographed).

Our first arrival is somebody wireimage has not deigned to identify by name, and I have no idea who she is. Still... horizontal stripes : not just slimming, but my Pentax's autofocus loves them. (edited to add : Poppy Lee Friar) (edited to add : who?)

Our first arrival is somebody wireimage has not deigned to identify by name, and I have no idea who she is. Still... horizontal stripes : not just slimming, but my Pentax's autofocus loves them.
(edited to add : Poppy Lee Friar) (edited to add : who?)

Neel Sethi is apparently this film's sole non-CGI character, and I suppose Disney's accoutants argued long and hard against his casting since it'd be tricky to copyright and trademark an actual human being..

Neel Sethi is apparently this film's sole non-CGI character, and I suppose Disney's accoutants argued long and hard against his casting since it'd be tricky to copyright and trademark an actual human being..

"It was greenscreen as far as the eye could see. Quite the impressive environment. Also, I'm a kid. I'm easily impressed"

"It was greenscreen as far as the eye could see. Quite the impressive environment. Also, I'm a kid. I'm easily impressed"

"I'm happy to be here. I just don't want to look at that lady's knees any more. Also, don't tell he I said that" - the second two-thirds of this premiere's three attendees has arrived, and it is Academy Award winning Sir Ben Kingsley

"I'm happy to be here. I just don't want to look at that lady's knees any more. Also, don't tell he I said that" - the second two-thirds of this premiere's three attendees has arrived, and it is Academy Award winning Sir Ben Kingsley

"I'd happily reprise my role as The Mandarin in upcoming Iron Man films". In the pantheon of bait-and-switch villains, Ben Kingsley as "Not The Mandarin" is way up there with Benedict Cumberbatch as "Not Khan", Michael Shannon as "General who keeps losing fights to farmers and scientists Zod", and Kylo Ren as "Not Complex, Just Whiny and Emo"

"I'd happily reprise my role as The Mandarin in upcoming Iron Man films". In the pantheon of bait-and-switch villains, Ben Kingsley as "Not The Mandarin" is way up there with Benedict Cumberbatch as "Not Khan", Michael Shannon as "General who keeps losing fights to farmers and scientists Zod", and Kylo Ren as "Not Complex, Just Whiny and Emo"

"Of course at the price Robert Downey Jnr's asking, maybe they should recast me as the next Iron Man?"

"Of course at the price Robert Downey Jnr's asking, maybe they should recast me as the next Iron Man?"

Jon Favreau at far right directed the first Iron Man movie, thus setting the stage for Marvel's utter domination of superhero films that two prior Hulk movies (and all subsequent DC efforts) couldn't. He also directed the oddly plotted (yet undeniably Olivia Wilde-starring) "Cowboys and Aliens" back in 2011.

Jon Favreau at far right directed the first Iron Man movie, thus setting the stage for Marvel's utter domination of superhero films that two prior Hulk movies (and all subsequent DC efforts) couldn't. He also directed the oddly plotted (yet undeniably Olivia Wilde-starring) "Cowboys and Aliens" back in 2011.

"You don't have to call me "Sir". I only make my friends call me that because it pisses them off"

"You don't have to call me "Sir". I only make my friends call me that because it pisses them off"

Meanwhile, in a universe fundamentally unrelated to movie premieres...

Meanwhile, in a universe fundamentally unrelated to movie premieres...

Security had searched the bags of, body-scanned the body off, and set sniffer dogs upon everyone at ground level for this premiere. Because... people really hated Iron Man 2, maybe?. Anyway.... meanwhile at street level....

Security had searched the bags of, body-scanned the body off, and set sniffer dogs upon everyone at ground level for this premiere. Because... people really hated Iron Man 2, maybe?. Anyway.... meanwhile at street level....

"You guys are cool. I'm not saying I'll use you in my next movie, but I'm not NOT saying that either"

"You guys are cool. I'm not saying I'll use you in my next movie, but I'm not NOT saying that either"

"My photo isn't on imdb yet. But I don't think I want it to be this one you're taking of me. I don't even know what I'm pointing at. That scarf, probably." - Brigham Taylor (of this is THAT Brigham Taylor) is executive producer on this film.

"My photo isn't on imdb yet. But I don't think I want it to be this one you're taking of me. I don't even know what I'm pointing at. That scarf, probably." - Brigham Taylor (of this is THAT Brigham Taylor) is executive producer on this film.

"My assistant takes all hand-shakes, low-fives and scissors-paper-rock game requests on my behalf. What... you don't??"

"My assistant takes all hand-shakes, low-fives and scissors-paper-rock game requests on my behalf. What... you don't??"

Jon Favraeu says : "You can't move back any further, can you?" I'd like to clarify that when I said I disliked Iron Man 2 a lot, I merely meant to imply it, not say it.

Jon Favraeu says : "You can't move back any further, can you?" I'd like to clarify that when I said I disliked Iron Man 2 a lot, I merely meant to imply it, not say it.

"Fine, I'll sign....  not sure why you're all photographing me doing it, though"

"Fine, I'll sign....  not sure why you're all photographing me doing it, though"

"Fine... Ben Kingsley on behalf of Scarlett Johansson.... Ben Kingsley on behalf of Idris Elba... and Ben Kingsley on behalf of Ben Kingsley.... And yes, feel free to call me back if Jon Favreau or The Kid don't sign for you"

"Fine... Ben Kingsley on behalf of Scarlett Johansson.... Ben Kingsley on behalf of Idris Elba... and Ben Kingsley on behalf of Ben Kingsley.... And yes, feel free to call me back if Jon Favreau or The Kid don't sign for you"

So... that was a fast one, an early one, and I still had upwards of 90 minutes to get home in time for a phone conference with the USA. Because this, oddly, isn't a paying gig. Still... it's another one for The Archive of Movie Premieres, and there aren't any at all next week, until we return the week after with two-in-two-days, one of which is Captain America : Civil War. I already can't wait to stay up til the wee hours to edit through those photographs.... I think I've got a bottle of Plum Sake on standby already.

Until next time!

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