12 Apr - The 'Florence Foster Jenkins' World Premiere

April 12th, 2016

Just one day earlier, I was photographing two Oscar winners, Colin Firth and Helen Mirren at the premiere of "Eye in the Sky", but today it was THREE Oscars on display (metaphorically speaking) and in the form of a single actress - Meryl Streep. The movie : Florence Foster Jenkins, the true story of one of the world's worst singers.. Justin Bieber. Oh, wait. My notes for this premiere might possibly be wrong. But until I figure it out... here's how it went down:

It's premiere number 2 of 3 in three days, and the carpet is red, the weather is good, my spot is half-decent and as long as they don't play any music by one of the world's most notoriously bad singers, all should be well.

It's premiere number 2 of 3 in three days, and the carpet is red, the weather is good, my spot is half-decent and as long as they don't play any music by one of the world's most notoriously bad singers, all should be well.

"Yoyoyoyoyo wassup, peeps?" Your friend and mine Hakim Mr Impact and DJ Soprano Lifestyle will be warming up the crowd this evening, albeit with the added issue of presenting a movie that in no way contains any music akin to rap, r'n'b or hip-hop. (In honour of Florence Foster Jenkins, he might have to challenge the crowd to rap with the proviso that none of the words are to rhyme).

"Yoyoyoyoyo wassup, peeps?" Your friend and mine Hakim Mr Impact and DJ Soprano Lifestyle will be warming up the crowd this evening, albeit with the added issue of presenting a movie that in no way contains any music akin to rap, r'n'b or hip-hop. (In honour of Florence Foster Jenkins, he might have to challenge the crowd to rap with the proviso that none of the words are to rhyme).

In contrast to Mr Impact who ... uh... 'chooses' to ad-lib (?) all his mad rhymez, our presenter this evening will be working off a highly formalised script that even tells him explicitly how he must introduce every attendee (sadly it does not mistakenly suggest that Meryl Streep will be replacing Daniel Craig as the next Bond....)

In contrast to Mr Impact who ... uh... 'chooses' to ad-lib (?) all his mad rhymez, our presenter this evening will be working off a highly formalised script that even tells him explicitly how he must introduce every attendee (sadly it does not mistakenly suggest that Meryl Streep will be replacing Daniel Craig as the next Bond....)

Here to represent the yodelling community at this celebration of ear-shattering musical "talent"?

Here to represent the yodelling community at this celebration of ear-shattering musical "talent"?

"Oh dear.... did I miss DJ Impact and his totally Phat Beatz?"

"Oh dear.... did I miss DJ Impact and his totally Phat Beatz?"

"Did you find it difficult to write the story of a tone-deaf singer who thought she was great?" "What... you meand did I put deliberate spelling mistakes into the screenplay to represent her ineptitude? No I did not" - Nicholas Martin is the screenwriter of this movie.

"Did you find it difficult to write the story of a tone-deaf singer who thought she was great?"
"What... you meand did I put deliberate spelling mistakes into the screenplay to represent her ineptitude? No I did not"
- Nicholas Martin is the screenwriter of this movie.

I photographed this gentleman purely on the design of his tie and his impeccably awesome sideburns. Turns out he's Carl Davis, a composer whose career spans over FIFTY years (since 1961!). And the tie... it's pretty great, too.

I photographed this gentleman purely on the design of his tie and his impeccably awesome sideburns. Turns out he's Carl Davis, a composer whose career spans over FIFTY years (since 1961!). And the tie... it's pretty great, too.

Speaking of composers, this film's score was composed by the fantastic Alexandre Desplat. My iPod rocks to the music of his soundtracks to Girl With a Pearl Earring, The Golden Compass, Godzilla (2014), Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (1 and 2), Rise of the Guardians and the Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Speaking of composers, this film's score was composed by the fantastic Alexandre Desplat. My iPod rocks to the music of his soundtracks to Girl With a Pearl Earring, The Golden Compass, Godzilla (2014), Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (1 and 2), Rise of the Guardians and the Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

"For this movie, I basically composed a beautiful score... and then in honour of Florence, I started putting in jarringly wrong notes every third or fourth bar"... Alexandre Desplat also composed (and won an Oscar for) "The Grand Budapest Hotel", while also composing Monuments Men, The Danish Girl , The Imitation Game and Unbroken.

"For this movie, I basically composed a beautiful score... and then in honour of Florence, I started putting in jarringly wrong notes every third or fourth bar"... Alexandre Desplat also composed (and won an Oscar for) "The Grand Budapest Hotel", while also composing Monuments Men, The Danish Girl , The Imitation Game and Unbroken.

"Hey, how are you? How are you going? Good? Also... who are you again?" Hugh Grant has arrived the disturbingly zealous screams of a lot of women in the audience aged considerably younger than he is....

"Hey, how are you? How are you going? Good? Also... who are you again?" Hugh Grant has arrived the disturbingly zealous screams of a lot of women in the audience aged considerably younger than he is....

"No, I'm not in this movie... I'm just a normal person like everybody else here. Well.. except for everyone who's. not as well dressed as me". Not actually in this movie, but a welcome arrival nonetheless is actor Stanley Tucci, best known probably for The Hunger Games movies, and sadly for not being the amazing Lex Luthor that might have been....

"No, I'm not in this movie... I'm just a normal person like everybody else here. Well.. except for everyone who's. not as well dressed as me". Not actually in this movie, but a welcome arrival nonetheless is actor Stanley Tucci, best known probably for The Hunger Games movies, and sadly for not being the amazing Lex Luthor that might have been....

"If you could just get on skype with my grandma and tell her I'm at an important business meeting and that's why I'm not home for dinner right now....I'd really appreciate it "

"If you could just get on skype with my grandma and tell her I'm at an important business meeting and that's why I'm not home for dinner right now....I'd really appreciate it "

"You touch my shoulder and I break your arm. I can do it. I know six forms of kung fu" "Seriously???" "Well... I've won three acting Oscars, you decide if you want to take that risk"

"You touch my shoulder and I break your arm. I can do it. I know six forms of kung fu"
"Seriously???"
"Well... I've won three acting Oscars, you decide if you want to take that risk"

"Never give up on your dreams kids. And if you fail miserably enough, they may still make a movie out of your failure!" Well... they did release the Eddie the Eagle Movie just a few weeks ago...

"Never give up on your dreams kids. And if you fail miserably enough, they may still make a movie out of your failure!" Well... they did release the Eddie the Eagle Movie just a few weeks ago...

"When DC calls... and they will call, I'm going to go to Marvel and ask them to triple their offer. And they will...." I'm still hoping JJ Abrams offers me a job... preferably before he finds out my true thoughts on The Force Awakens.

"When DC calls... and they will call, I'm going to go to Marvel and ask them to triple their offer. And they will...." I'm still hoping JJ Abrams offers me a job... preferably before he finds out my true thoughts on The Force Awakens.

Hugh Grant has arrived, and he's looking (for want of a better word) very British. I last photographed him at the premiere of the (I feel) underrated "Cloud Atlas"

Hugh Grant has arrived, and he's looking (for want of a better word) very British. I last photographed him at the premiere of the (I feel) underrated "Cloud Atlas"

"I lobbied REALLY hard for the role of Kylo Ren in The Force Awakens... and I might have had it in the sequels if frikkin' Adam DRIVER hadn't taken his damn helmet off in the movie..." Would have improved the film, in my view...

"I lobbied REALLY hard for the role of Kylo Ren in The Force Awakens... and I might have had it in the sequels if frikkin' Adam DRIVER hadn't taken his damn helmet off in the movie..." Would have improved the film, in my view...

"And you're sure it's NINETEEN Oscar nominations I've had so far?? Gosh, that is kind of a lot. Still....'The Ant Bully' is the one I think the Academy most snubbed me for....."

"And you're sure it's NINETEEN Oscar nominations I've had so far?? Gosh, that is kind of a lot. Still....'The Ant Bully' is the one I think the Academy most snubbed me for....."

"Yes, but I've won a Golden Globe" "Meryl's won eight" "I've won a Bafta?" "Meryl's won more" "Well... I'm taller"

"Yes, but I've won a Golden Globe"
"Meryl's won eight"
"I've won a Bafta?"
"Meryl's won more"
"Well... I'm taller"

"Between all of us we've won three Oscars!!!"

"Between all of us we've won three Oscars!!!"

"I'm not sure I'd pay money to hear Meryl Streep sing.... but to hear her sing badly? What were you thinking??"

"I'm not sure I'd pay money to hear Meryl Streep sing.... but to hear her sing badly? What were you thinking??"

"Can you sign this? It only coincidentally looks like a home loan application..." Rebecca Ferguson is best known for being awesome in and awesomely wearing a yellow dress in Mission Impossible Rogue Nation.

"Can you sign this? It only coincidentally looks like a home loan application..." Rebecca Ferguson is best known for being awesome in and awesomely wearing a yellow dress in Mission Impossible Rogue Nation.

Stephen Frears most recently directed the (very good) Lance Armstrong movie "The Program", but he's been Oscar-nominated for 'The Queen' and 'The Grifters'. His tie is red, but it's nowhere near as cool as the one he wore at 'The Program'

Stephen Frears most recently directed the (very good) Lance Armstrong movie "The Program", but he's been Oscar-nominated for 'The Queen' and 'The Grifters'. His tie is red, but it's nowhere near as cool as the one he wore at 'The Program'

By sheer coincidence, this was also the expression on my face roughly halfway through the runtime of 'Batman v Superman : Dawn of Justice'

By sheer coincidence, this was also the expression on my face roughly halfway through the runtime of 'Batman v Superman : Dawn of Justice'

"What was it like working with Meryl? Well... she's won a lot of acting awards, so that's intimidating. But then again she's from America, and she's crap at cricket. Batting and bowling. AND fielding. So there was that...."

"What was it like working with Meryl? Well... she's won a lot of acting awards, so that's intimidating. But then again she's from America, and she's crap at cricket. Batting and bowling. AND fielding. So there was that...."

"Meryl Streep said she loved working with me and would do it again any time. Of course, she's Meryl Streep... by definition it's almost impossible to know whether she's telling the truth or acting."

"Meryl Streep said she loved working with me and would do it again any time. Of course, she's Meryl Streep... by definition it's almost impossible to know whether she's telling the truth or acting."

"Wait... you look famliar somehow"

"Wait... you look famliar somehow"

"I'd rather hug you and be unsure than be rude and, I dunno... maybe just high-five you"

"I'd rather hug you and be unsure than be rude and, I dunno... maybe just high-five you"

Our last interviewee (sadly Rebecca Ferguson was not interviewed, or alternatively I lapsed into a short-duration coma while she was) is a dude who looks so much like Wolowitz from the TV show The Big Bang Theory that I was still somewhat surprised to find out that he's Simon Helberg, who IS Wolowitz in The Big Bang Theory

Our last interviewee (sadly Rebecca Ferguson was not interviewed, or alternatively I lapsed into a short-duration coma while she was) is a dude who looks so much like Wolowitz from the TV show The Big Bang Theory that I was still somewhat surprised to find out that he's Simon Helberg, who IS Wolowitz in The Big Bang Theory

"So without giving anything away, because I'm still a few seasons behind, do they EVER end up fixing that elevator?"

"So without giving anything away, because I'm still a few seasons behind, do they EVER end up fixing that elevator?"

"205 episodes and counting... and if the cheque clears I WILL be counting!"

"205 episodes and counting... and if the cheque clears I WILL be counting!"

So, that was a relatively pleasant way to spend a few hours. The weather stayed clear, the crowd was well-behaved, and Meryl Streep didn't make anybody feel too inadequate about how little they'd accomplished in any of their chosen fields, whether it be photography, roof tiling or even just queueing for free premiere wristbands.

And tomorrow, for the third day in a row, at the third different VENUE in a row... I'll get to do it all over again. (Woo!). For now, I'll be content to get a decent night's sleep, and put another journal into The Archive of Movie premieres, now containing the links to over 350 premieres and events I've photographed, and try to remember to pick up my camera whose battery is charging at the moment.

Until next time!

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