September 24th, 2015.
After two premieres in two days, a quick break and it's back ON in Leicester Square - today for the all-star cast of Ridley Scott's latest : 'The Martian', a movie that I am looking forward to watching.
Here's how it went down:
"Hello, world! Tonight we're coming to you live from... well... the same planet we're all on. It really sucks that NASA's budget keeps getting cut in preference to maintaining the USA's military industrial complex... or prisons or whatever they're spending their money on. In other news... there's a premiere on!!"
"It's definitely autumn, and yet I'm the only person here wearing a scarf. Have I peaked early?" Our first arrival is Sir Ridley Scott, director of this film, who I've previously photographed at such premieres as 'Prometheus' and 'The Counselor'
"NASA never took enough care making their space suits sexy. That and the end of the cold war pretty much spelled the end of them" - Janty Yates is the film's costume designer, and she won an Oscar back in 2000 for her work on Ridley Scott's 'Gladiator
"Conversation pause getting awkward. Help me out here, bro?". Chiwetel Ejiofor and Kristen Wiig find a temporary lull in the red carpet's frenetic activity.
"This is my good side. If you're going to photograph me, photograph me like this". Actor James McAvoy (best known for being the 'young' Professor X in the X-Men prequels) isn't actually in this film, but was quickly recognised by the crowd. Despite not being in a wheelchair not having a bald head.
"Take your camera? No thanks. Also, why would I - that guy over there has a Pentax and that's much more exotic"
"I don't sign pictures of myself wearing chunky gold necklaces. That's my new rule I just made up". Sean Bean tends to die in movies and TV shows often enough that it's kind of disorienting to see him walking the streets all 'alive' and stuff.
"And that's how easy it is to get pornography on a phone. It's very convenient"
"It is. And you're sure they have the internet on phones, now?"
"How do you think I feel? I feel like I'm looking at a ghost every time I look at a mirror!" According to an article I found on the internet, apparently Sean Bean dies in approximately 32% of films he's in. Which is kind of spoilerifically high.
"That 'Speed' prequel is getting less and less likely" - Jeff Daniels is arguably better known for being in 'Dumb & Dumber', but I prefer to recall him most fondly as Keanu Reeves' partner in 1994's movie 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down'
"Nobody wants me to sign any DVDs of 'My Favourite Martian'. Why is that? It's totally related"
"You saw '12 Years A Slave' on Valentines Day? How did that work out for you?" I was actually additionally distressed at the army recruitment ads that ran before the film...
"Wait... if the poster shows that Matt Damon is 'The Martian' isn't that a HUGE spoiler?"
"I gotta draw a moustache on Matt Damon's face on that poster. I just HAVE to"
"You like my dress? Lie if you have to" It's only been a mere four days since I photograhed Rooney Mara at the World Premiere of 'Pan'... and now I've photographed her sister Kate Mara as well
"Nobody's going to mention 'The F4ntastic Four' at this premiere, are they? Because I have a tyre iron and I'd prefer to avoid a prison sentence in this country. Also this is a rented dress"
"So basically if you stand still and look into the device, I'll be able to make a clone of you for my own purposes. Wait... did that come out sounding creepy? I didn't mean it to"
China's Chen Shu has a limited filmography on imdb.com, which also refers to her as a HIM. You should probably get on that, imdb. I hear China's a pretty big market for movies these days.
"The IMDB thing? Yeah... I'm letting them keep it like that for now. It's getting me more roles in both genders. Plus some dangerous stunt work I'm not really qualified for. I wonder if the Other Chen Shus mind...".
As an ignorant Westerner who is low enough on sleep to risk the ire of a billion Chinese, I'm having to hedge my bets in tagging this imag 'Shu Chen' who is an actress on imdb.com, and not 'Chen Shu' who the credits listing of 'The Martian' informs me is in this film. And a man.
"I can't sign that! Actually, my Mum still forbids me from looking this" That's unfair. I rather liked 'The Secret Life of Walter Mitty'
"Thanks for the cheap eye surgery. Now do the other one, and then fix my newly acquired night blindness"
It's been 11 years since Team America : World Police. You can all stop calling me Maaaaaatt Daaaaaamon now". Personally I think that joke still has a good six years left to run. Team America was a great film.
"I kept calling him that and also kept assuring him I'd never seen the film. Being a diretor everyone wants to work with is awesome"
"Please, Sir Ridley! I just want to ask one or two quetions before you use Prometheus 2 to ask more questions"
"And so the itsy bitsy spider went... you're not listening are you?" I've previously photographed Matt Damon at the premieres of "Invictus" and "The Monuments Men"
The lovely Jessica Chastain, who has been signing and posing with everyone has finally reached our part of the crowd. I feel kind of silly, given how much she signed and in light of the fact that I had a front row spot at this event that I didn't bring the photo of her that I took at last year's Interstellar Premiere for her to autograph...
"And you're absolutely genuine that this is your private phone number and not a random 38 digit number consisting mostly of 1s and 0s?"
"There you go. All sixty digits of my phone number."
"Does that include area code?"
"Let me enter another 20 digits and it will"
"Hey!! Bring the photo next time and I'll sign it". Jessica Chastain is so super-nice that I'll be crushed if sometime between now and next premiere she turns out to be implicated in cute panda bruising or something implausible.
"I'd better get down there before Jessica Chastain makes me look not-nice". Matt Damon, needless to say would not be my first choice for 'actor most likely to cast voodoo curses at cute puppy dogs.
"Sure I think you're cute. You can call me any time on... uh... just use Jessica Chastain's 90-digit phone number"
So... that was a pretty good premiere, actually. Unlike 'Sicario' on Monday, I didn't score a free ticket, but that's fine. I took some decent photos, only got partially rained upon, and it's only another three days until there's yet ANOTHER premiere I Leicester Square.
And obviously it joins my more-than-three-hundred-entries-now Archive of Movie Premieres, whose other recent entries included "Sicario" (with Emily Blunt and Benicio Del Toro), "Pan" (with Hugh Jackman, Rooney Mara, Garrett Hedlund and Cara Delevingne) and "Legend" (with Tom Hardy and Emily Browning)
Until next time!
ps. Finally, if you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieresdotco.