20 Sep - The 'PAN' World Premiere

September 20th, 2015.

I've just been off on a week and a half trek around 'Oop North' of England, and who would have guessed it... but the first day back there's already a premiere. Is that an amazing coincidence or precisely how I planned it? Only my HR department can tell you for sure.

And this one? It's a world premiere, it's a prequel / reboot / public domain entity, and even more impossibly, it's a live-action movie made out of a property that Disney also has a version of, and it's NOT by Disney. Here's how it went down:

I managed to find a spot roughly across from the stage, not exactly ensconced among dealer scum, and not exactly sure about why those trees were wrapped in Saris, but other than that optimistic.

I managed to find a spot roughly across from the stage, not exactly ensconced among dealer scum, and not exactly sure about why those trees were wrapped in Saris, but other than that optimistic.

"Yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo..... wassup? Is Gangsta Rap appropriate for this premiere?" Well... probably more so than the premiere of the Stephen Hawking Biopic 'The Theory of Everything' last year was.

"Yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo..... wassup? Is Gangsta Rap appropriate for this premiere?" Well... probably more so than the premiere of the Stephen Hawking Biopic 'The Theory of Everything' last year was.

"Arrrr. This here be my booty. And I mean that in the treasure sense, not the more conventional R'n'B sense.."

"Arrrr. This here be my booty. And I mean that in the treasure sense, not the more conventional R'n'B sense.."

Pirates, Rappers and now Fairies. If this is accurate to the theme of the movie, then either this film is going to amazing, or a spectacular mess.

Pirates, Rappers and now Fairies. If this is accurate to the theme of the movie, then either this film is going to amazing, or a spectacular mess.

"Although the works of JM Barrie are in the public domain, of course Disney also has a version of Peter Pan out there, and I'm sure their lawyers will be taking their legal pads out as soon as they get a chance to see the film."

"Although the works of JM Barrie are in the public domain, of course Disney also has a version of Peter Pan out there, and I'm sure their lawyers will be taking their legal pads out as soon as they get a chance to see the film."

Our first arrival is writer Jason Fuchs, who I'd like to think has been under armed guard against Disney Assassins stopping him from getting a live-action story out before Disney can. I myself am in an undisclosed location while I polish off an expanded trilogy for 'Oliver And Company'.

Our first arrival is writer Jason Fuchs, who I'd like to think has been under armed guard against Disney Assassins stopping him from getting a live-action story out before Disney can. I myself am in an undisclosed location while I polish off an expanded trilogy for 'Oliver And Company'.

This is Jason Fuchs's girlfriend. (Wait... writers are allowed to have girlfriends?? Why the hell hasn't anybody told me this before??)

This is Jason Fuchs's girlfriend. (Wait... writers are allowed to have girlfriends?? Why the hell hasn't anybody told me this before??)

"You're three times my age and you intend to make money selling my autograph? How's that working out for you, long-term?". I feel I should tell lead actor Levi Miller (who plays Pan in the film) that I do premieres for free... and really blow his mind.

"You're three times my age and you intend to make money selling my autograph? How's that working out for you, long-term?". I feel I should tell lead actor Levi Miller (who plays Pan in the film) that I do premieres for free... and really blow his mind.

"I assume crowds like this show up every time Hugh Jackman goes shopping, so I'm not all that surprised by the size of this setup, I guess"

"I assume crowds like this show up every time Hugh Jackman goes shopping, so I'm not all that surprised by the size of this setup, I guess"

"No... I don't want anything bad to happen to Warwick Davis... why would I??" Jimmy Vee is best known for appearances in Doctor Who, and I heard some people whispering he is/might be in Star Wars Episode 8. ASSUMING episode 7 isn't a spectacular financial flop, that is. (Is it wrong that a part of me wants it to be a spectacular flop?)

"No... I don't want anything bad to happen to Warwick Davis... why would I??" Jimmy Vee is best known for appearances in Doctor Who, and I heard some people whispering he is/might be in Star Wars Episode 8. ASSUMING episode 7 isn't a spectacular financial flop, that is. (Is it wrong that a part of me wants it to be a spectacular flop?)

"I'm sorry, I refuse to believe any of you guys have watched 'Atonement' let alone have heard of me". Atonement was pretty awesome - director Joe Wright, who directed 'Pan', also directed that film.

"I'm sorry, I refuse to believe any of you guys have watched 'Atonement' let alone have heard of me". Atonement was pretty awesome - director Joe Wright, who directed 'Pan', also directed that film.

Australia's own Hugh Jackman arrives, to the insect-like clamouring of autograph dealers in our pen. Hugh didn't linger, and I couldn't blame him.

Australia's own Hugh Jackman arrives, to the insect-like clamouring of autograph dealers in our pen. Hugh didn't linger, and I couldn't blame him.

Yeah... well.... I traveled in from St Albans on my day off. Can I get a high five from Cara Delevingne when she comes? (Stupidly, I didn't make a sign. That's probably where I went wrong)

Yeah... well.... I traveled in from St Albans on my day off. Can I get a high five from Cara Delevingne when she comes? (Stupidly, I didn't make a sign. That's probably where I went wrong)

My usual rule of 'if they wear a hat, take a photograph' served me well in this instance : Bronson Webb is in this movie. More excitingly, he was a credited bounty hunter in Chris Nolan's The Dark Knight Rises, a credited beach soldier in Ridley Scott's Kingdom of Heaven and a character enigmatically named 'Will' in a single episode of 'Game of Thrones' back in 2011.

My usual rule of 'if they wear a hat, take a photograph' served me well in this instance : Bronson Webb is in this movie. More excitingly, he was a credited bounty hunter in Chris Nolan's The Dark Knight Rises, a credited beach soldier in Ridley Scott's Kingdom of Heaven and a character enigmatically named 'Will' in a single episode of 'Game of Thrones' back in 2011.

"It's scissors-paper-rock, Alex. A playbook isn't really required for strategy"

"It's scissors-paper-rock, Alex. A playbook isn't really required for strategy"

"The budget on this movie? I'll give you a clue... it's not this small".

"The budget on this movie? I'll give you a clue... it's not this small".

"I signed on when they showed me a large cheque and guaranteed me indemnity against being sued by Disney." Hugh Jackman is playing a pirate called 'Blackbeard' in a movie about pirates who may or may not sail in the carribean that's also based on Peter Pan which Disney also has a version of.

"I signed on when they showed me a large cheque and guaranteed me indemnity against being sued by Disney." Hugh Jackman is playing a pirate called 'Blackbeard' in a movie about pirates who may or may not sail in the carribean that's also based on Peter Pan which Disney also has a version of.

"If you can see the invisible dot that isn't there, you can be an actor. That's the secret of my success, Alex". Also : retractable claws and impeccable abs.

"If you can see the invisible dot that isn't there, you can be an actor. That's the secret of my success, Alex". Also : retractable claws and impeccable abs.

The awesomely named 'Nonso Anozie' was Xaro Xhoan Daxos in five episodes of Game of Thrones' second season. That character died... but then nobody on that show really leaves by riding off into a golden sunset... unless they've been set on fire or something.

The awesomely named 'Nonso Anozie' was Xaro Xhoan Daxos in five episodes of Game of Thrones' second season. That character died... but then nobody on that show really leaves by riding off into a golden sunset... unless they've been set on fire or something.

"That was a misunderstanding between Khaleesi and me. By which I mean... Khaleesi and I"

"That was a misunderstanding between Khaleesi and me. By which I mean... Khaleesi and I"

Spencer Wilding (who was also 'Mean Guard' in Guardians of the Galaxy) and Jimmy Vee - probably the biggest size disparity on one stage since Kanye West's humility made brief and fleeting eye contact with his ego at a concert once.

Spencer Wilding (who was also 'Mean Guard' in Guardians of the Galaxy) and Jimmy Vee - probably the biggest size disparity on one stage since Kanye West's humility made brief and fleeting eye contact with his ego at a concert once.

Rooney Mara goes crazy and headbutts a couple of photographers. Like.. in her mind. She's certainly got 'enigmatic/murderous smile' going for her.

Rooney Mara goes crazy and headbutts a couple of photographers. Like.. in her mind. She's certainly got 'enigmatic/murderous smile' going for her.

Why yes, I will totally photograph a beautiful woman through foliage. (As long as this sentence is never used in a court of law as a form of implied confession, I mean).

Why yes, I will totally photograph a beautiful woman through foliage. (As long as this sentence is never used in a court of law as a form of implied confession, I mean).

"I hope you guys caught my smile earlier, because I'm not doing it again". Rooney Mara was awesome in her small role in The Social Network, and even more awesome in her larger role as Lisbeth Salander in David Fincher's "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo"... a movie whose sequel(s) apparently we've all been permanently robbed of for some unknown reason.

"I hope you guys caught my smile earlier, because I'm not doing it again". Rooney Mara was awesome in her small role in The Social Network, and even more awesome in her larger role as Lisbeth Salander in David Fincher's "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo"... a movie whose sequel(s) apparently we've all been permanently robbed of for some unknown reason.

"No, this suit is pretty much what I wore every day on set. This movie is actually a radical new modern interpretation of the 'Pan' legend. We do leveraged corporate buyouts and currency speculation. Also... sword-fights" Just like actual leveraged corporate buyouts.

"No, this suit is pretty much what I wore every day on set. This movie is actually a radical new modern interpretation of the 'Pan' legend. We do leveraged corporate buyouts and currency speculation. Also... sword-fights" Just like actual leveraged corporate buyouts.

Rooney Mara flits away, probably suspecting I'll be so shallow as to heavily prioritise taking photos of model Cara Delevingne once she shows up.

Rooney Mara flits away, probably suspecting I'll be so shallow as to heavily prioritise taking photos of model Cara Delevingne once she shows up.

"Honestly, I'm not sure why nobody until now has merged high finance with fairies and mermaids" Throw some rap music into the soundtrack and I'll be even more intrigued than 'not all that intrigued' to see this film.

"Honestly, I'm not sure why nobody until now has merged high finance with fairies and mermaids" Throw some rap music into the soundtrack and I'll be even more intrigued than 'not all that intrigued' to see this film.

"Don't move... I want to see that trailer again and figure out what exactly is going on"

"Don't move... I want to see that trailer again and figure out what exactly is going on"

"Am I in this movie? Well that depends what you mean by 'I', and 'in'... and possibly 'this movie'. But... Yes?"

"Am I in this movie? Well that depends what you mean by 'I', and 'in'... and possibly 'this movie'. But... Yes?"

Beautiful Woman. Foliage. Restraining Order. The world is full of possibilities... and Cara Delevingne has arrived

Beautiful Woman. Foliage. Restraining Order. The world is full of possibilities... and Cara Delevingne has arrived

Of course, the tragically unfair reality is that when I see Cara Delevingne I see one thing, while when Cara Delevingne sees me she sees something entirely different. I still maintain we're both the same species.

Of course, the tragically unfair reality is that when I see Cara Delevingne I see one thing, while when Cara Delevingne sees me she sees something entirely different. I still maintain we're both the same species.

"Without meaning to suggest in any way that this makes a difference to how awesome it is to be standing next to you right now... are you actually in this movie?" According to the internet movie database, Cara Delevingne is indeed in this movie.

"Without meaning to suggest in any way that this makes a difference to how awesome it is to be standing next to you right now... are you actually in this movie?" According to the internet movie database, Cara Delevingne is indeed in this movie.

"Tron 3 RIP, huh? Yeah, it sucks" Garrett Hedlund was adequate in the rather strange but undeniably staggeringly beautifully designed (and Daft Punk-scored) Tron Legacy (2010). Apparently we're meant to believe the second sequel's production was cancelled because Disney didn't have enough money. Which is about as likely as Apple, Inc. not having enough money... to buy all of Belgium.

"Tron 3 RIP, huh? Yeah, it sucks" Garrett Hedlund was adequate in the rather strange but undeniably staggeringly beautifully designed (and Daft Punk-scored) Tron Legacy (2010). Apparently we're meant to believe the second sequel's production was cancelled because Disney didn't have enough money. Which is about as likely as Apple, Inc. not having enough money... to buy all of Belgium.

"You're very kind... but I'll be okay. I'm sure I'll be in a Marvel movie one of these days". Garrett Hedlund plays Captain Hook in this film.

"You're very kind... but I'll be okay. I'm sure I'll be in a Marvel movie one of these days". Garrett Hedlund plays Captain Hook in this film.

"Who's going to replace me as Wolverine? Don't know, don't care. But I'm hoping it's Robert Downey Jnr. This DC/Marvel Fox/Sony/Disney joyride is due a Major defection at some stage"

"Who's going to replace me as Wolverine? Don't know, don't care. But I'm hoping it's Robert Downey Jnr. This DC/Marvel Fox/Sony/Disney joyride is due a Major defection at some stage"

"Are we going to soften Captain Hook in this prequel, like they did with Darth Vader, removing all menace in exchange for a pretty face and adolescent whining? Um.... I'm going to let the writer or director answer that one"

"Are we going to soften Captain Hook in this prequel, like they did with Darth Vader, removing all menace in exchange for a pretty face and adolescent whining? Um.... I'm going to let the writer or director answer that one"

"Yes I cast Cara Delevingne as a mermaid in this film. Who wouldn't?"..

"Yes I cast Cara Delevingne as a mermaid in this film. Who wouldn't?"..

"Remember... this is the Mad Max of Pan movies... the American Sniper of Pan movies... whatever movie gets you to watch this movie... of Pan movies" . Also, please don't tell Disney they made this. There's a chance they still haven't noticed

"Remember... this is the Mad Max of Pan movies... the American Sniper of Pan movies... whatever movie gets you to watch this movie... of Pan movies" . Also, please don't tell Disney they made this. There's a chance they still haven't noticed

" 'Do we have plans for prequels, sequels, spin-offs and reboots?' - do I even need to answer that question?". Even most of my excel spreadsheets back at the office have some kind of spin-off potential, if DC or Marvel is interested.

" 'Do we have plans for prequels, sequels, spin-offs and reboots?' - do I even need to answer that question?". Even most of my excel spreadsheets back at the office have some kind of spin-off potential, if DC or Marvel is interested.

"And remember... all of this is still fundamentally the story of a little boy who can fly". And 'Mars Needs Moms' might still one day get a gritty, live action remake.

"And remember... all of this is still fundamentally the story of a little boy who can fly". And 'Mars Needs Moms' might still one day get a gritty, live action remake.

"And if Disney wants to buy the rights?"

"And if Disney wants to buy the rights?"

"Well... I gotta go. My Lamborghini is triple parked"

"Well... I gotta go. My Lamborghini is triple parked"

So.... that was big and rather impressive, even if I can't speak much as to whether I think the movie is intrinsically any good or not. It certainly looks like a sizeable production to get it to the big screen, and Hugh Jackman's wig looks suitably insane, and possibly CG.

Amazingly, it's the first of some 6 premieres in 8 days, but for now it's one new addition to The Archive of Movie premieres, the most recent additions to which were The 2015 GQ Awards and the two-Tom-Hardies-for-the-price-of-one movie Legend.

Until next time!

ps. Finally, if you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieresdotco.