1 Sep - The 'Building Jerusalem' premiere

September 1st, 2015.

Although the Australian Government would be correct in pointing out that I am not technically Australian, I believe there are two tests to nationality that aren't covered by what the animal(s) on your passport is(are). And I pass both.

One is sports loyalty. Which is why I have no idea why I was at this premiere.

Here's how it went down.

This is an image any true Australian alive 12 years ago will have reluctantly seared into their subconscious, because every Australian knows that a couple of seconds later this guy here is going to kick a goal to win the Rugby World Cup Grand Final against Australia. And they've made a movie about it. Or a documentary. Or just a poster. I don't know. But I'm here and part of me wishes I wasn't.

This is an image any true Australian alive 12 years ago will have reluctantly seared into their subconscious, because every Australian knows that a couple of seconds later this guy here is going to kick a goal to win the Rugby World Cup Grand Final against Australia. And they've made a movie about it. Or a documentary. Or just a poster. I don't know. But I'm here and part of me wishes I wasn't.

Interesting bit of trivia : The English also have the image I so dislike seared into THEIR subconscious, except they're really pleased about that.

Interesting bit of trivia : The English also have the image I so dislike seared into THEIR subconscious, except they're really pleased about that.

I'm guessing a few more books were published in England in the aftermath of the 2003 Rugby World Cup Final than were published in Australia. Or possibly New Zealand.

I'm guessing a few more books were published in England in the aftermath of the 2003 Rugby World Cup Final than were published in Australia. Or possibly New Zealand.

The Empire Leicester Square. Now hosting premieres I could be home watching Hugh Jackman movies while drinking a Fosters, playing on a didgeridoo and eating a Sao dipped in Vegemite instead of imminently getting rained upon while reliving sporting tragedies.

The Empire Leicester Square. Now hosting premieres I could be home watching Hugh Jackman movies while drinking a Fosters, playing on a didgeridoo and eating a Sao dipped in Vegemite instead of imminently getting rained upon while reliving sporting tragedies.

I guess I could in theory attempt to deface one of these posters by drawing a moustache on Johnny Wilkinson, but that would mean that 12 years on I still can't let that Rugby World Cup Final loss go. Which... to be fair, the crowd at this premiere demonstrates that 12 years on, the English still can't let that Rugby World Cup Final WIN go.

I guess I could in theory attempt to deface one of these posters by drawing a moustache on Johnny Wilkinson, but that would mean that 12 years on I still can't let that Rugby World Cup Final loss go. Which... to be fair, the crowd at this premiere demonstrates that 12 years on, the English still can't let that Rugby World Cup Final WIN go.

Oh, come ON. You weren't even ALIVE when that game took place, so you have NO right to siphon it into your collective unconscious where it will continue to torment Australians!

Oh, come ON. You weren't even ALIVE when that game took place, so you have NO right to siphon it into your collective unconscious where it will continue to torment Australians!

Needless to say, for an Australian one of the few things worse than seeing Johnny Wilkinson in that pose on a poster is seeing three Johnny Wilkinsons on three of that same poster....

Needless to say, for an Australian one of the few things worse than seeing Johnny Wilkinson in that pose on a poster is seeing three Johnny Wilkinsons on three of that same poster....

So to summarise : I'm a dude who has been to TWILIGHT premieres, to DIVERGENT premieres... I was even at FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. But this premiere here? This is the one I already wish I wasn't at.

The red carpet clears the front and back row of that particular scrum... (there you go. I remember something about the game)

The red carpet clears the front and back row of that particular scrum... (there you go. I remember something about the game)

The arrivals sheet for this premiere verifies that, indeed, a rogues gallery of villains (or heroes, depending on your allegiance) will be attending this event. I will of course be very well behaved : it's far too close to BFI London Film Festival for me to risk getting banned from attending premieres, patriotism or not.

The arrivals sheet for this premiere verifies that, indeed, a rogues gallery of villains (or heroes, depending on your allegiance) will be attending this event. I will of course be very well behaved : it's far too close to BFI London Film Festival for me to risk getting banned from attending premieres, patriotism or not.

~Tom, the excitement here just keeps on building... enhanced by the fact that we all have no idea what Johnny Wilkinson looks like these days. He could be that guy in flannel to my left, or that lady eating an icecream over by that tree. Either way... we don't care... we won that game and Australia didn't".  ... let it go.

~Tom, the excitement here just keeps on building... enhanced by the fact that we all have no idea what Johnny Wilkinson looks like these days. He could be that guy in flannel to my left, or that lady eating an icecream over by that tree. Either way... we don't care... we won that game and Australia didn't".  ... let it go.

And then, just because it's not enough that I have nothing but bad memories of that game 12 years ago, I'm now at a premiere 12 years later getting rained upon by a lengthy downpour seemingly everyone but me seemed to know about. Charming.

"Nobody offer to keep an Australian visitor here dry under your umbrella. Oh, and remind them we just won the Ashes back as well". Well... sh1t.

"Nobody offer to keep an Australian visitor here dry under your umbrella. Oh, and remind them we just won the Ashes back as well". Well... sh1t.

This is Matt Dawson. Who is Matt Dawson? I have no idea. I'll be honest, I didn't buy the Paninin stickerbook collection of English World Cup Players during the 2003 Rugby World Cup...

This is Matt Dawson. Who is Matt Dawson? I have no idea. I'll be honest, I didn't buy the Paninin stickerbook collection of English World Cup Players during the 2003 Rugby World Cup...

I've decided to muster up just barely enough motivation to verify that Matt Dawson is (was) a Rugby Union player who amassed 77 caps for England during his playing career. Kinda wish he'd brought one of those caps with him. I'm getting rained upon, here.

I've decided to muster up just barely enough motivation to verify that Matt Dawson is (was) a Rugby Union player who amassed 77 caps for England during his playing career. Kinda wish he'd brought one of those caps with him. I'm getting rained upon, here.

OMG Random human female. is... random. But welcome.

OMG Random human female. is... random. But welcome.

And here he is... Johnny Wilkinson. I almost didn't recognise him without the pose from the poster.

And here he is... Johnny Wilkinson. I almost didn't recognise him without the pose from the poster.

To be fair, I don't hate the guy... I just hate how he made me feel. 12 years ago. And yes, I'm a bad loser, but in my defense I believe it's much more important to be a gracious winner than a gracious loser. You should never be a gracious loser.... wouldn't you rather win?

To be fair, I don't hate the guy... I just hate how he made me feel. 12 years ago. And yes, I'm a bad loser, but in my defense I believe it's much more important to be a gracious winner than a gracious loser. You should never be a gracious loser.... wouldn't you rather win?

"Is that a Wallabies Jersey???" no... and even if it was I wouldn't want it signed by Johnny Wilkinson. Actually, I gave the one I bought that fateful day to a friend years later having never re-worn it, fearing it was cursed. (it wasn't cursed. the friend wore it at the Olympics in London in 2012 and Australia won a Gold Medal. In wheelchair rugby, ironically)

"Is that a Wallabies Jersey???" no... and even if it was I wouldn't want it signed by Johnny Wilkinson. Actually, I gave the one I bought that fateful day to a friend years later having never re-worn it, fearing it was cursed. (it wasn't cursed. the friend wore it at the Olympics in London in 2012 and Australia won a Gold Medal. In wheelchair rugby, ironically)

Just between you and me... I don't feel I need more photos of Johnny Wilkinson in this journal. Or in my laptop harddrive. Or in this journal.

Just between you and me... I don't feel I need more photos of Johnny Wilkinson in this journal. Or in my laptop harddrive. Or in this journal.

"I know I'm getting rained upon, but I'd like to return to the crowd one more time and piss off that guy who supported Australia".... please don't.

"I know I'm getting rained upon, but I'd like to return to the crowd one more time and piss off that guy who supported Australia".... please don't.

"To be fair, if I'd missed the kick there's every chance we'd just have found another way to win". So I guess there's no reason for me to keep building that time machine just so I can nudge a random butterfly in China in another direction sometime in early 2003...?

"To be fair, if I'd missed the kick there's every chance we'd just have found another way to win". So I guess there's no reason for me to keep building that time machine just so I can nudge a random butterfly in China in another direction sometime in early 2003...?

Oh, good. A new member of the 2003 World Cup Winning squad has arrived - it's Martin Johnson. Perhaps it's just my imagination, but the rain is getting slightly heavier. I can't wait for London Film Festival, where I can risk pneumonia trying to photograph Cate Blanchett and Tom Hiddleston rather than do so for Sports Stars Of The Enemy!

Oh, good. A new member of the 2003 World Cup Winning squad has arrived - it's Martin Johnson. Perhaps it's just my imagination, but the rain is getting slightly heavier. I can't wait for London Film Festival, where I can risk pneumonia trying to photograph Cate Blanchett and Tom Hiddleston rather than do so for Sports Stars Of The Enemy!

"There's an Australian in the crowd who's miserable AND getting rained upon 12 years later? I love it. Point him out to me" Yeah...I think I might have been the only one.

"There's an Australian in the crowd who's miserable AND getting rained upon 12 years later? I love it. Point him out to me" Yeah...I think I might have been the only one.

One of these people (I'm guessing the guy with the scarf) is James Erskine, the director of this film. Directors can carry off scarf-wearing in late summer. I kind of have to wait til around November..

One of these people (I'm guessing the guy with the scarf) is James Erskine, the director of this film. Directors can carry off scarf-wearing in late summer. I kind of have to wait til around November..

Director James Erskine might not have been in any team that defeated Australia, but by bringing his talent to making me indirectly recall that occurrence, he's in some ways even worse. Then again... I do like his scarf. That counts for something. As is having a wife/girlfriend/random bystander leaning dramatically against you at a premiere.

Director James Erskine might not have been in any team that defeated Australia, but by bringing his talent to making me indirectly recall that occurrence, he's in some ways even worse. Then again... I do like his scarf. That counts for something. As is having a wife/girlfriend/random bystander leaning dramatically against you at a premiere.

And the premiere turned creepy in the end.... check out the creepy girl in pink on the far right!

And the premiere turned creepy in the end.... check out the creepy girl in pink on the far right!

So... that was a premiere I could have avoided, but not if I wanted to add it to my Archive of Movie premieres...which despite having nigh on 300 entries, only contains two other sporting-related documentaries ( "The Class of 92" about Manchester United, and "The Shouting Men" which was also about soccer. I mean 'football').

Until next time!

ps. Finally, if you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieresdotco.