19 Mar 2015 - The (Disney) "Cinderella" UK Premiere

March 19th, 2015.

After yesterday's wildly disappointing (yet spectacularly set) World premiere of "Game of Thrones" Season 5 at the Tower of London, there was nothing like getting right back on the horse one day later with another premiere. Even though lack of sleep meant riding this particular horse wtih considerable fatigue. And that's as far as I'm taking this metaphor.

Bottom line : I liked this one (and not because I'm a 14 year old girl with pigtails). Here's how it went down:

"I can't remember the last album of his that I liked. Endorphinmachine back in the mid-90s, maybe?". You think my references are dated? The animated feature this is a remake of was released in 1950, and the story it was based on dates back to Russia, and the glass slippers were fur. (True Story) (you're welcome)

"I can't remember the last album of his that I liked. Endorphinmachine back in the mid-90s, maybe?". You think my references are dated? The animated feature this is a remake of was released in 1950, and the story it was based on dates back to Russia, and the glass slippers were fur. (True Story) (you're welcome)

In a move so dumb I wouldn't have believed it if it wasn't that yesterday's World Premiere of Game of Thrones didn't have ANY stage... at this one, moments after I took this photo of the stage, they CLOSED the gap between the shrubs and nobody in the public pen had ANY view of the stage. I have no idea what the point of a stage is when nobody can see it, but I guess Disney knows best.

In a move so dumb I wouldn't have believed it if it wasn't that yesterday's World Premiere of Game of Thrones didn't have ANY stage... at this one, moments after I took this photo of the stage, they CLOSED the gap between the shrubs and nobody in the public pen had ANY view of the stage. I have no idea what the point of a stage is when nobody can see it, but I guess Disney knows best.

"And we will beam the images back to the motherland to show them the depths of the west's insufferable decadence". The politburo will be impressed.

"And we will beam the images back to the motherland to show them the depths of the west's insufferable decadence". The politburo will be impressed.

Our first arrival is Sir Derek Jacobi, an actor with a visage so impressive I once made the decision that of all actors only I would refer to him as a 'noted thespian'. It seems appropriate somehow. He plays The King in this movie.

Our first arrival is Sir Derek Jacobi, an actor with a visage so impressive I once made the decision that of all actors only I would refer to him as a 'noted thespian'. It seems appropriate somehow. He plays The King in this movie.

"Nobody mention 'Thor' or 'Jack Ryan' please" Next up : the director of this movie is FIVE time Oscar nominee Kenneth Branagh

"Nobody mention 'Thor' or 'Jack Ryan' please" Next up : the director of this movie is FIVE time Oscar nominee Kenneth Branagh

"Aren't you guys a little old to be at this thing?" hey, firstly I loved 'Tangled', and secondly near as I can tell this movie's central tenet is that a girl doing nothing, putting up with anything, staying calm, being pretty and waiting for her prince is the path to Happily Ever After, so if anything else I'm probably too young for its Old Timey message of How Love Works.

"Aren't you guys a little old to be at this thing?" hey, firstly I loved 'Tangled', and secondly near as I can tell this movie's central tenet is that a girl doing nothing, putting up with anything, staying calm, being pretty and waiting for her prince is the path to Happily Ever After, so if anything else I'm probably too young for its Old Timey message of How Love Works.

Richard Madden plays "Prince" in the movie, which is... well, it's nice to know that in the world of *cough* contemporary cutting edge Disney female empowerment, it's enough for somebody to have no first name or surname as long as their title is "Prince". Girl Power!!! (I'm still single...)

Richard Madden plays "Prince" in the movie, which is... well, it's nice to know that in the world of *cough* contemporary cutting edge Disney female empowerment, it's enough for somebody to have no first name or surname as long as their title is "Prince". Girl Power!!! (I'm still single...)

"This is the look that drove the women of Westeros wild in Game of Thrones, Ladiez". Richard Madden played the currently deceased Robb Stark in GoT.

"This is the look that drove the women of Westeros wild in Game of Thrones, Ladiez". Richard Madden played the currently deceased Robb Stark in GoT.

"Hello, Commoners!!" actress Lily James has arrived. Her Assistant appears to be wearing a converted Alpaca poncho, minus sombrero?

"Hello, Commoners!!" actress Lily James has arrived. Her Assistant appears to be wearing a converted Alpaca poncho, minus sombrero?

Lily James, this incarnation's Cinderella, arrives in what I choose to describe as a converted Russian General's Winter uniform turned into a dress for the occasion. I think I like it (comrade)

Lily James, this incarnation's Cinderella, arrives in what I choose to describe as a converted Russian General's Winter uniform turned into a dress for the occasion. I think I like it (comrade)

"What the f**k did you say about me dress, dude??" I did intimate that overall I liked it, but it seems there goes my chance of breaking up that Happily Ever After.

"What the f**k did you say about me dress, dude??" I did intimate that overall I liked it, but it seems there goes my chance of breaking up that Happily Ever After.

"Does playing a called nothing more than "Prince" make you feel objectified and devalued as a Man?". All of a sudden this movie is looking closer to Fifty Shades of Grey than Disney Classic in terms of its attitudes to conventional romance. I know at least one girl I'd love to invite to see this movie on a date.

"Does playing a called nothing more than "Prince" make you feel objectified and devalued as a Man?". All of a sudden this movie is looking closer to Fifty Shades of Grey than Disney Classic in terms of its attitudes to conventional romance. I know at least one girl I'd love to invite to see this movie on a date.

"Yo, where my utha evil stepsistah be at?" Sophie McShera plays half of Cinderella's two evil stepsisters in the movie, though she's probably better known for being (at time of writing) in no less than 43 episodes of the TV show Downton Abbey, which I persist in not watching because I still haven't watched all of Breaking Bad and am hanging out for Game of Thrones s5.

"Yo, where my utha evil stepsistah be at?" Sophie McShera plays half of Cinderella's two evil stepsisters in the movie, though she's probably better known for being (at time of writing) in no less than 43 episodes of the TV show Downton Abbey, which I persist in not watching because I still haven't watched all of Breaking Bad and am hanging out for Game of Thrones s5.

"Is she doing gang signs? That's awesome!" The other evil stepsister up in the hizzouse is played by Holliday Grainger, possibly also better known for being in a TV series, in this instance The Borgias.

"Is she doing gang signs? That's awesome!" The other evil stepsister up in the hizzouse is played by Holliday Grainger, possibly also better known for being in a TV series, in this instance The Borgias.

Pseudo-random arrival : Jenna Coleman, best known for being the Docor's Assistant in the current incarnation of Doctor Who. 

Pseudo-random arrival : Jenna Coleman, best known for being the Docor's Assistant in the current incarnation of Doctor Who. 

Jenna Coleman is also Richard Madden's ("Prince"'s) girlfriend, which makes the Extended Cinderella Universe even more interesting. (Yes, I now assume every Disney property has an extended universe)

Jenna Coleman is also Richard Madden's ("Prince"'s) girlfriend, which makes the Extended Cinderella Universe even more interesting. (Yes, I now assume every Disney property has an extended universe)

Jenna Coleman is planning something... possibly something evil. I'm pretty sure I support it - she's cute.

Jenna Coleman is planning something... possibly something evil. I'm pretty sure I support it - she's cute.

Lily James is unlikely to forgive my (implied) criticism of her 'dress', on top of my complimenting Her Prince's Girlfriend. Which makes me sad. I can't compete with a Prince, and besides her dress looks very warm, and this late March evening is rather cold.

Lily James is unlikely to forgive my (implied) criticism of her 'dress', on top of my complimenting Her Prince's Girlfriend. Which makes me sad. I can't compete with a Prince, and besides her dress looks very warm, and this late March evening is rather cold.

"Are you going to pop the question? Here? Now?" "Uh, no baby. I was just reaching for a menthol. You want one?" Romance? Not dead.

"Are you going to pop the question? Here? Now?"
"Uh, no baby. I was just reaching for a menthol. You want one?"

Romance? Not dead.

"No, babes. When we dance I'M supposed to be the one putting my arms around your waist. That's how it works"

"No, babes. When we dance I'M supposed to be the one putting my arms around your waist. That's how it works"

Connection Re-established! But I'm too chicken to check imdb to see who she's dating....probably Sean Penn. Everyone I like seems to be dating Sean Penn

Connection Re-established! But I'm too chicken to check imdb to see who she's dating....probably Sean Penn. Everyone I like seems to be dating Sean Penn

Evil sister meets Cinderella and it's all "Now that you've bagged Prince, no hard feelings, right?" "None at all, b1tch" This movie needs a soundtrack featuring Kanye West at all costs.

Evil sister meets Cinderella and it's all
"Now that you've bagged Prince, no hard feelings, right?"
"None at all, b1tch"

This movie needs a soundtrack featuring Kanye West at all costs.

"Stand back. I saw Will Smith do this at a premiere, once"

"Stand back. I saw Will Smith do this at a premiere, once"

Helena Bonham-Carter plays the Fairy Godmother in this movie, and was apparently instrumental in ensuring that her character's dress had wings in the design.... because while ensuring strict 12 o'clock expiry on all but two convenient items of party gear for your long-suffering Goddaugther is vital, heaven forbid your dress doesn't have wings :)

Helena Bonham-Carter plays the Fairy Godmother in this movie, and was apparently instrumental in ensuring that her character's dress had wings in the design.... because while ensuring strict 12 o'clock expiry on all but two convenient items of party gear for your long-suffering Goddaugther is vital, heaven forbid your dress doesn't have wings :)

"The Wings are important. They provide .... symmetry"

"The Wings are important. They provide .... symmetry"

Had to check on imdb to see whether Hayley Atwell (best known for playing Peggie Carter in Captain America) has any particular connection to this movie. Turns out she does : she plays "Ella's Mother" in the movie. (As in literally that's the character's name in the credits. Wow. "Ella's Mother"s parents must have had a very specific aim for their daughter...)

Had to check on imdb to see whether Hayley Atwell (best known for playing Peggie Carter in Captain America) has any particular connection to this movie. Turns out she does : she plays "Ella's Mother" in the movie. (As in literally that's the character's name in the credits. Wow. "Ella's Mother"s parents must have had a very specific aim for their daughter...)

Sandy Powell is the Costume Designer for Cinderella, and noted that Cinderella's dress took 20 people 500 hours to make. Which... is probably longer than it would take me to hand wash and dry every item of clothing that I own. Except a couple of those jumpers I have that take ages to dry.

Sandy Powell is the Costume Designer for Cinderella, and noted that Cinderella's dress took 20 people 500 hours to make. Which... is probably longer than it would take me to hand wash and dry every item of clothing that I own. Except a couple of those jumpers I have that take ages to dry.

"Yes I have three, and no that's not "Plenty" and no you can' have one". Sandy Powell has won three Academy Awards for Costume Design (The Aviator, Shakespeare in Love and The Young Victoria) plus another 7 nominations.

"Yes I have three, and no that's not "Plenty" and no you can' have one". Sandy Powell has won three Academy Awards for Costume Design (The Aviator, Shakespeare in Love and The Young Victoria) plus another 7 nominations.

"Buy my album, ladiez. And yeah, I'm leveraging the 'Prince' brand... I'm from DISNEY - nobody has better lawyers than we do" I suspect getting up this morning was technically a breach of some kind of Disney copyright.

"Buy my album, ladiez. And yeah, I'm leveraging the 'Prince' brand... I'm from DISNEY - nobody has better lawyers than we do" I suspect getting up this morning was technically a breach of some kind of Disney copyright.

"Guess why I'm here?" I have no idea, but it's this evening's second Doctor Who alum - Matt Smith, aka the (checks wikipedia) Eleventh incarnation of the Doctor.

"Guess why I'm here?" I have no idea, but it's this evening's second Doctor Who alum - Matt Smith, aka the (checks wikipedia) Eleventh incarnation of the Doctor.

"That's right... you love me!" This is also my new pickup line when meeting new people for the first time. Also: I'm getting this haircut (or similar) this weekend.

"That's right... you love me!" This is also my new pickup line when meeting new people for the first time. Also: I'm getting this haircut (or similar) this weekend.

"I'm happy to sign these posters you brought along... while also being creeped out that you knew I'd be coming here and brought these posters"

"I'm happy to sign these posters you brought along... while also being creeped out that you knew I'd be coming here and brought these posters"

The short man with the white hair is composer Patrick Doyle - I will not even pretend that I don't know who he is : my iPod contains no less than EIGHT of his scores (Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Pixar's Brave, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Thor, Eragon, Much Ado About Nothing, Henry V and Great Expectations).

The short man with the white hair is composer Patrick Doyle - I will not even pretend that I don't know who he is : my iPod contains no less than EIGHT of his scores (Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Pixar's Brave, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Thor, Eragon, Much Ado About Nothing, Henry V and Great Expectations).

Lily James prepares for yet another trek to the Paparazzi Pen out of sight to my left. And this, I think, might be my favourite shot of her that I took this evening

Lily James prepares for yet another trek to the Paparazzi Pen out of sight to my left. And this, I think, might be my favourite shot of her that I took this evening

... with the possible exception of this shot, which I kind of like even more (big thanks for Life Preserver Guy, who chose to stand there for no reason, thus providing the kind of 'reality intrudes on fantasy' that I assiduously try to put into my photos...)

... with the possible exception of this shot, which I kind of like even more (big thanks for Life Preserver Guy, who chose to stand there for no reason, thus providing the kind of 'reality intrudes on fantasy' that I assiduously try to put into my photos...)

"And when we start our family, in our castle, I want to have THIS many kids. ALL GIRLS". Yay, Disney?

"And when we start our family, in our castle, I want to have THIS many kids. ALL GIRLS". Yay, Disney?

"Babe... I might be a prince in my kingdom and all, but you can't keep stealing random peoples' kids and taking them back to the palace and giving them a better life"

"Babe... I might be a prince in my kingdom and all, but you can't keep stealing random peoples' kids and taking them back to the palace and giving them a better life"

So... that was fun, actually. I have minimal intention of watching the film, myself (except under a very specific set of circumstances that would need to have more to do with who I'm watching the movie with than any other criteria....)

Obviously it joins all the other premieres in my "Archive of Movie Premieres" - I didn't go to Maleficent, but I did go to Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland all those years ago...

Until next time!

ps. if you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieresdotco.