17 Feb - The (Second) Best Exotic Marigold Hotel World/Royal Premiere

February 17th, 2015.

Just one day ago, I was feeling the heartbreak and heartache of seeing my favourite actress Charlize Theron attend a premiere with her undoubtedly imminent-fiancee Sean Penn for "The Gunman"... today I was able to find solace in an Indian movie where the average age of the cast (even with three young members) exceeded that of even the aforementioned Sean Penn.

And that was BEFORE the Royals showed up. Here's how it went down:

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is the unexpected but entirely appropriate follow-on from its surprise box-office hit predecessor. And with the temperatures hovering around 5 degrees celsius, it's probably ten degrees warmer than that premiere from three years ago, the journal for which is here

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is the unexpected but entirely appropriate follow-on from its surprise box-office hit predecessor. And with the temperatures hovering around 5 degrees celsius, it's probably ten degrees warmer than that premiere from three years ago, the journal for which is here

And since tonight's is a Royal World Premiere, there were not two but FIVE canine sniffer dogs cheerfully working the orange(ish) carpet. If you had any intention of subverting the line of royal succession in this country, your budget for doggie treats would need to have been astronomical. The dogs were very thorough (and friendly)

And since tonight's is a Royal World Premiere, there were not two but FIVE canine sniffer dogs cheerfully working the orange(ish) carpet. If you had any intention of subverting the line of royal succession in this country, your budget for doggie treats would need to have been astronomical. The dogs were very thorough (and friendly)

I like the setup. It's going to play murder on my ability to shoot long range, based on my position, but then again I don't get much input into the setup. If i did, there'd be airspace to fly a drone and three or four assistants, and Charlize Theron sans Penn at every premiere, unless she can't make it in which case Scarlett Johansson will substitute.

I like the setup. It's going to play murder on my ability to shoot long range, based on my position, but then again I don't get much input into the setup. If i did, there'd be airspace to fly a drone and three or four assistants, and Charlize Theron sans Penn at every premiere, unless she can't make it in which case Scarlett Johansson will substitute.

"ten bucks says we do the same dance dressed as Stormtroopers for the Star Wars premiere later this year"

"ten bucks says we do the same dance dressed as Stormtroopers for the Star Wars premiere later this year"

"Your beanie is awesome... like super-awesome. But not as spectacularly-awesome as my vest. Tell me I'm wrong". He's not.

"Your beanie is awesome... like super-awesome. But not as spectacularly-awesome as my vest. Tell me I'm wrong". He's not.

Our first arrival from the film is actually Dame Judi Dench, but she's really short and hard to photograph when being interviewed. This is Celia Imrie, and she and I have made the kind of connection Charlize Theron and I have not been able to make sufficiently often to break up her relationship with Sean Penn.

Our first arrival from the film is actually Dame Judi Dench, but she's really short and hard to photograph when being interviewed. This is Celia Imrie, and she and I have made the kind of connection Charlize Theron and I have not been able to make sufficiently often to break up her relationship with Sean Penn.

"I wish that guy would shut up about Charlize Theron. Though I do think Sean Penn is all wrong for her". I know, right?? Dame Judi Dench is best known for winning an Oscar, playing the dearly departed 'M' in the most recent James Bond movies, and having a death star that can melt Olivier Award Statuettes at forty or fifty paces.

"I wish that guy would shut up about Charlize Theron. Though I do think Sean Penn is all wrong for her". I know, right?? Dame Judi Dench is best known for winning an Oscar, playing the dearly departed 'M' in the most recent James Bond movies, and having a death star that can melt Olivier Award Statuettes at forty or fifty paces.

... eighty or ninety paces.

... eighty or ninety paces.

That said, her smile is also quite disarming. I've decided I like her, even though it's an each-way bet she could have me killed if she really wanted to. Not because she was 'M' in the fictional James Bond universe, but because she's Dame Judi Dench and she probably knows people who know people.

That said, her smile is also quite disarming. I've decided I like her, even though it's an each-way bet she could have me killed if she really wanted to. Not because she was 'M' in the fictional James Bond universe, but because she's Dame Judi Dench and she probably knows people who know people.

Dame Judi Dench's dress / coat / robe is quite theme-appropriate, and looks like one of those drawings from back in the 90s that you could cross-squint at and see a CG Pirate Ship or skull-and-crossbones in the pattern of.

Dame Judi Dench's dress / coat / robe is quite theme-appropriate, and looks like one of those drawings from back in the 90s that you could cross-squint at and see a CG Pirate Ship or skull-and-crossbones in the pattern of.

"I did something like this for my wife for Valentines Day. Do you think I overdid it? Was inviting hundreds of fans and multiple filmcrews where I went wrong?"

"I did something like this for my wife for Valentines Day. Do you think I overdid it? Was inviting hundreds of fans and multiple filmcrews where I went wrong?"

Shazad Latif plays the obligatory complication to our young heroes' easy romance in the film, or so I was able to gather from both the trailer and the questions he was being asked onstage.

Shazad Latif plays the obligatory complication to our young heroes' easy romance in the film, or so I was able to gather from both the trailer and the questions he was being asked onstage.

The intriguingly-named Ol Parker is the writer of this movie and the first film as well... although his name sounds like it should belong to a 70 year old blues banjo player with a voice that could shred paint off fence posts. In this reality, though, he's a writer who wears earrings and is married to the very pretty actress Thandie Newton.

The intriguingly-named Ol Parker is the writer of this movie and the first film as well... although his name sounds like it should belong to a 70 year old blues banjo player with a voice that could shred paint off fence posts. In this reality, though, he's a writer who wears earrings and is married to the very pretty actress Thandie Newton.

David Suchet, meanwhile is not in this movie, and neither clean-shaven nor wearing the moustache that he's famous for in playing the Agatha Christie detective Poirot from 1989-2013. He is however at this premiere, and the suit and bow tie seems authentic.

David Suchet, meanwhile is not in this movie, and neither clean-shaven nor wearing the moustache that he's famous for in playing the Agatha Christie detective Poirot from 1989-2013. He is however at this premiere, and the suit and bow tie seems authentic.

"Oh, what the f**k has Potter done this time??". It pleases me to imagine that Oscar-Winning Dame Maggie Smith swears like a sailor when she's a civilian. I last photographed her (from memory) at the Dustin Hoffman-directed "Quartet" premiere

"Oh, what the f**k has Potter done this time??". It pleases me to imagine that Oscar-Winning Dame Maggie Smith swears like a sailor when she's a civilian. I last photographed her (from memory) at the Dustin Hoffman-directed "Quartet" premiere

Dame Maggie Smith didn't get interviewed on stage, sadly, but since her patronus charm could beat the 5h1t out of YOUR patronus charm (plus you're not Magic), I think that's fine. Mostly because I managed to photograph her before she was able to zip inside.

Dame Maggie Smith didn't get interviewed on stage, sadly, but since her patronus charm could beat the 5h1t out of YOUR patronus charm (plus you're not Magic), I think that's fine. Mostly because I managed to photograph her before she was able to zip inside.

Diana Hardcastle's green attire could best be described as 'severe' by people who are all "wait... isn't this meant to be a Bollywood-themed film, and wasn't Dame Judi Dench wearing somthing you could camouflage her against a Persian Rug?"

Diana Hardcastle's green attire could best be described as 'severe' by people who are all "wait... isn't this meant to be a Bollywood-themed film, and wasn't Dame Judi Dench wearing somthing you could camouflage her against a Persian Rug?"

"How could she be going out with him? They don't fit together at all!" I know, ma'am... I've been saying that since yesterday. Dame Judi Dench even threatened to punch me for going on and on about it, in this imaginary life I've been having.

"How could she be going out with him? They don't fit together at all!" I know, ma'am... I've been saying that since yesterday. Dame Judi Dench even threatened to punch me for going on and on about it, in this imaginary life I've been having.

Meanwhile, Celia Imrie and I share another moment. Since the next youngest woman in this movie after her is aged 19 or something, I'm going to choose to be flattered in an age-appropriate kind of way.

Meanwhile, Celia Imrie and I share another moment. Since the next youngest woman in this movie after her is aged 19 or something, I'm going to choose to be flattered in an age-appropriate kind of way.

The rather awesomely-named Ronald Pickup is in this movie as well as the prior one, but imdb.com rather unfairly lists Prince of Persia as his best-known role. I beg to differ. On humanitarian grounds, everyone should have that movie stricken from their permanent record (you go back to saving Haiti, Sean Penn... I'll choose my own causes to support)

The rather awesomely-named Ronald Pickup is in this movie as well as the prior one, but imdb.com rather unfairly lists Prince of Persia as his best-known role. I beg to differ. On humanitarian grounds, everyone should have that movie stricken from their permanent record (you go back to saving Haiti, Sean Penn... I'll choose my own causes to support)

"I know this scarf looks fabulous. You're diminishing it by complimenting me on it because it's so obvious". This is why I have trouble complimenting women on anything that's too obvious.

"I know this scarf looks fabulous. You're diminishing it by complimenting me on it because it's so obvious". This is why I have trouble complimenting women on anything that's too obvious.

John Madden directed the First Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, as well as this movie, the very good but underappreciated "The Debt", and is probably best known for directing and being Oscar-nominated for "Shakespeare In Love"

John Madden directed the First Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, as well as this movie, the very good but underappreciated "The Debt", and is probably best known for directing and being Oscar-nominated for "Shakespeare In Love"

"I agree. The multiple coloured lights are going to play havoc with your white balance. That's why you should always shoot raw". I know, I know. Just enjoy this disproportionate amount of Red and Magenta that I can't remove without making this photo mostly green.

"I agree. The multiple coloured lights are going to play havoc with your white balance. That's why you should always shoot raw". I know, I know. Just enjoy this disproportionate amount of Red and Magenta that I can't remove without making this photo mostly green.

"Wait... so Richard Gere is like a sex symbol here in The West? That explains why Dame Judi Dench kept shoulder charging me everytime she walked past me when she found out I had the romantic scenes with him" Lillete Dubey plays Mrs Kapoor (Dev Patel's Mum) in the film.

"Wait... so Richard Gere is like a sex symbol here in The West? That explains why Dame Judi Dench kept shoulder charging me everytime she walked past me when she found out I had the romantic scenes with him" Lillete Dubey plays Mrs Kapoor (Dev Patel's Mum) in the film.

"That's the third rhinestone that's come up. If I lose one more, I'll definitely lose my deposit on this dress and we'll definitely have to turn this Hotel series into a James Bond Franchise just so I can pay it off" . Tina Desai plays the lead (young) female role in the film, and its predecessor.

"That's the third rhinestone that's come up. If I lose one more, I'll definitely lose my deposit on this dress and we'll definitely have to turn this Hotel series into a James Bond Franchise just so I can pay it off" . Tina Desai plays the lead (young) female role in the film, and its predecessor.

"I keep my hair artfully messed up so that the right guy can prove himself by romantically brushing it to the side. Until that happens, I won't have proper depth perception, but when it does it will be magical". I knew it.

"I keep my hair artfully messed up so that the right guy can prove himself by romantically brushing it to the side. Until that happens, I won't have proper depth perception, but when it does it will be magical". I knew it.

"Learning to love yourself. That's the greatest gift of all, Alex". It's a dated reference for somebody so young, but it checks out.

"Learning to love yourself. That's the greatest gift of all, Alex". It's a dated reference for somebody so young, but it checks out.

At this point, everybody made sure they were inside (except Maggie Smith, who had more or less always been inside) and only security remained on the carpet as an entourage stopped at the far end, and made their way up the carpet to the entrance....

"Honestly, Charles. You're next in line to the throne. Do you really think they'll start the movie without you?" "One won't take that risk"

"Honestly, Charles. You're next in line to the throne. Do you really think they'll start the movie without you?"
"One won't take that risk"

"What... this ISN'T Avengers : Age of Ultron we're here to see? One can't lie, one is disappointed."

"What... this ISN'T Avengers : Age of Ultron we're here to see? One can't lie, one is disappointed."

So that, rather implausibly, was that. Two premieres in two days this week, two premieres in two days last week (Focus, with Will Smith and Margot Robbie; and Fifty Shades of Grey, with me feeling very much out of my depth), following in on from The 2015 Baftas and the shooting of the Sherlock Christmas Special on the street where I work.

And the journal entry for the original "Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" (coldest premiere ever) is here

It's going to be quiet for a little while... but hopefully it'll only be a brief hiatus for the ongoing growth of my Archive of Movie Premieres which is here.

Until nex time!