12 Feb 2015 - The 'Fifty Shades of Grey' Premiere

February 12th, 2015.

By now, I think we've established I'll go to any premiere, regardless of my thoughts on the movie, or the fact that I'm a guy and I should be steering well clear. So here we are, a mere one day after Will Smith and Margot Robbie graced Leicester Square for the special screening of 'Focus'... except this time the movie is a lot more notorious : it's Fifty Shades of Grey.

And I am not a 40 year old woman.

Here's how it went down (I'm going to try not to make myself look like a complete idiot. And fail)..

It's a publishing phenomenon, and it's the movie that's brought BDSM to the mainstream... or at least that's what the trailers and the hype would have you believe. To me, it's an excuse to take some photos. And desaturate them to near (or actual) monochrome, for a literal "grey" effect. Because I want to.

It's a publishing phenomenon, and it's the movie that's brought BDSM to the mainstream... or at least that's what the trailers and the hype would have you believe. To me, it's an excuse to take some photos. And desaturate them to near (or actual) monochrome, for a literal "grey" effect. Because I want to.

"This thing is truly amazing!" "Are you reading Fifty Shades of Grey on your phone?" "No, I've finally downloaded Angry Birds. It's pretty great."

"This thing is truly amazing!"
"Are you reading Fifty Shades of Grey on your phone?"
"No, I've finally downloaded Angry Birds. It's pretty great."

This man, meanwhile, has already finished Angry Birds, Bejewelled and Fruit Ninja. And none of them prepared him for this movie and its subject matter.

This man, meanwhile, has already finished Angry Birds, Bejewelled and Fruit Ninja. And none of them prepared him for this movie and its subject matter.

"That man over there says he has no intention of watching your movie, even though he's watched all of the Twilight films". Watched - yes. Enjoyed - not so much. This is author E.L.James, who turned a work of Twilight fanfic into her own bona fide empire based on... Not Vampires.

"That man over there says he has no intention of watching your movie, even though he's watched all of the Twilight films". Watched - yes. Enjoyed - not so much. This is author E.L.James, who turned a work of Twilight fanfic into her own bona fide empire based on... Not Vampires.

The screams and (quite frankly) alarming (though theme-appropriate) physical offers you're quite possibly hearing from the 80%+ female fans in attendance is for the arrival of Jamie Dornan, who plays lead Christian Grey in the film.

The screams and (quite frankly) alarming (though theme-appropriate) physical offers you're quite possibly hearing from the 80%+ female fans in attendance is for the arrival of Jamie Dornan, who plays lead Christian Grey in the film.

Sadly for the 80%+ female crowd in attendance, Jamie Dornan has been married since 2013. Well... I say 'sadly'... based on the liberated women around me, this may be no great impediment at all.

Sadly for the 80%+ female crowd in attendance, Jamie Dornan has been married since 2013. Well... I say 'sadly'... based on the liberated women around me, this may be no great impediment at all.

The next arrival is director Sam Taylor-Johnson, and (behind her) actor Aaron Taylor-Johnson, who is not in this film but was Kick-Ass in the movie "Kick-Ass" and its sequel. I notice his suit jacket contains a handkerchief with polka dots. Meanwhile, my beanie is black and contains a 'thinsulate<tm>' logo. It's discreet, though..

The next arrival is director Sam Taylor-Johnson, and (behind her) actor Aaron Taylor-Johnson, who is not in this film but was Kick-Ass in the movie "Kick-Ass" and its sequel. I notice his suit jacket contains a handkerchief with polka dots. Meanwhile, my beanie is black and contains a 'thinsulate<tm>' logo. It's discreet, though..

"Wait... *THAT'S* how they're marketing the movie? I was going for a standard rom-com!" To be fair, many rom-coms these days have scenes set in hardware stores. That's if Denzel Washingont's "The Equalizer" counts as a romantic comedy....

"Wait... *THAT'S* how they're marketing the movie? I was going for a standard rom-com!" To be fair, many rom-coms these days have scenes set in hardware stores. That's if Denzel Washingont's "The Equalizer" counts as a romantic comedy....

"Have I read the book? Yeah... she made me"

"Have I read the book? Yeah... she made me"

"You read it willingly. You had a safe word... you could have used it"

"You read it willingly. You had a safe word... you could have used it"

Our final major arrival is Dakota Johson who plays the oddly-named "Anastasia Steele" in the movie. I would have gone with "Strongly McVulnerable" myself, but then my Twilight-fanfiction has never really caught on with a maintream (or alternative) audience.

Our final major arrival is Dakota Johson who plays the oddly-named "Anastasia Steele" in the movie. I would have gone with "Strongly McVulnerable" myself, but then my Twilight-fanfiction has never really caught on with a maintream (or alternative) audience.

Good news for people traveling to Florence wanting to pick up a local version of the book for... uh.... 'travel research' purposes : it's called "Cinquanta Sfumature De Grigio". Sounds like a particularly nice red wine.

Good news for people traveling to Florence wanting to pick up a local version of the book for... uh.... 'travel research' purposes : it's called "Cinquanta Sfumature De Grigio". Sounds like a particularly nice red wine.

"Damnit... I think she's going to make me read that version before the Rome premiere..."

"Damnit... I think she's going to make me read that version before the Rome premiere..."

"Kinkiest thing I've done in real life? Well, I went to the tattoo parlor on a dare once, then used the wrong safe word. Before I knew it.... three sparrows. No regrets"

"Kinkiest thing I've done in real life? Well, I went to the tattoo parlor on a dare once, then used the wrong safe word. Before I knew it.... three sparrows. No regrets"

"My new safe word is "Edward Cullen". Please keep me away from tattoo parlours"

"My new safe word is "Edward Cullen". Please keep me away from tattoo parlours"

"Dear? They're asking me some questions you made me swear never to answer.... can I answer them?" It'll help ticket sales. Maybe.

"Dear? They're asking me some questions you made me swear never to answer.... can I answer them?" It'll help ticket sales. Maybe.

"I can't believe you've got that on your mobile. It's disgusting... and needs to be seen on a big screen"

"I can't believe you've got that on your mobile. It's disgusting... and needs to be seen on a big screen"

"If I didn't want you to gawk at me wearing this dress, I wouldn't have worn this dress. And if I wanted to cover up in this freezing cold weather, I'd be covering up in this freezing cold weather". I can't argue with that logic.

"If I didn't want you to gawk at me wearing this dress, I wouldn't have worn this dress. And if I wanted to cover up in this freezing cold weather, I'd be covering up in this freezing cold weather". I can't argue with that logic.

"I don't know who you are, but it's freezing and you're wearing a coat. I'm going to ride this hug for a bit longer". The weather was a balmy 4 or 5 degrees celsius in London for this premiere.

"I don't know who you are, but it's freezing and you're wearing a coat. I'm going to ride this hug for a bit longer". The weather was a balmy 4 or 5 degrees celsius in London for this premiere.

"Sure, the movie contains scenes of a sexual nature. But they're, like... a metaphor. For... having sex"

"Sure, the movie contains scenes of a sexual nature. But they're, like... a metaphor. For... having sex"

"Did you read the books before you decided to direct the film, or were you really surprised on day one of filming?" "A bit of both"

"Did you read the books before you decided to direct the film, or were you really surprised on day one of filming?"
"A bit of both"

"Please watch the movie. Alternatively, but tickets but don't watch it. Doesn't matter. Just pay."

"Please watch the movie. Alternatively, but tickets but don't watch it. Doesn't matter. Just pay."

"It's true. The draft title for the sequel was 'Fifty-ONE Shades of Grey', but the publisher made me change it"

"It's true. The draft title for the sequel was 'Fifty-ONE Shades of Grey', but the publisher made me change it"

"Just watch the movie with your mind open. Also your eyes. Keep your eyes open..."

"Just watch the movie with your mind open. Also your eyes. Keep your eyes open..."

"I killed a man for this jacket, and I don't even feel bad. Indeed... I've been cold for so long I don't feel anything at all."

"I killed a man for this jacket, and I don't even feel bad. Indeed... I've been cold for so long I don't feel anything at all."

"I had to tell my parents it was an animated movie and I was just providing one of the voices...."

"I had to tell my parents it was an animated movie and I was just providing one of the voices...."

"The significance of the teddy bear? I assumed I was hallucinating that. Also, I can't feel my legs"

"The significance of the teddy bear? I assumed I was hallucinating that. Also, I can't feel my legs"

Our last arrival onstage is Jamie Dornan, who has prised himself away from fans, well-wishers, and offers of an explicit physical-but-implied-to-be-consensual nature.

Our last arrival onstage is Jamie Dornan, who has prised himself away from fans, well-wishers, and offers of an explicit physical-but-implied-to-be-consensual nature.

"Fifty Shades of Grey? I assumed it was a how-to manual for monochrome painting your home. Turns out I was very much mistaken"

"Fifty Shades of Grey? I assumed it was a how-to manual for monochrome painting your home. Turns out I was very much mistaken"

"Then again, my character is young, handsome, and a billionare. Short of being a Marvel superhero, that's pretty much what everybody aspires to"

"Then again, my character is young, handsome, and a billionare. Short of being a Marvel superhero, that's pretty much what everybody aspires to"

So... that was that then.

Overall, it was quite an enjoyable premier. I might not myself be a fan of the books, but I always tend to enjoy movies attended by enthusiastic fans of any kind. There's a lot more excitement, and that makes for better photography.

And if nothing else, it's another entry for My Archive Of Movie Premieres, which numbers well above 250 now, and the last few were:

* Mortdecai - with Johnny Depp!
* Filming the 'Sherlock' Christmas Special - with Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman!
* The 2015 Baftas - with Benedict Cumberbatch! Tom Hiddleston! James McAvoy!
* Focus - with Margot Robbie and Will Smith!

Until next time!

ps. if you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieresdotco.