11 Feb - The 'Focus' special screening / premiere

February 11th, 2015.

So the deal is, I'm good at what I do as long as "what I do" is defined as physically be able to leave the office after work and get myself down to a premiere, and wait for hours in the blistering cold.

But what's never happened until today is a situation where I didn't know about a premiere until I actually got into town. (Fortunately, I always bring my camera with me.... but unfortunately in this case the lens attached to it was a wide-angle zoom used mainly for wideangle archicture and panoramas...), and I had the Pentax K3... all the megapixels you could ever want, attached to the world's worst autofocus for a premiere.

Ironically... the movie in question was called "Focus". Here's how it went down:

The rumours I'd been sent by email were true, and every website that tells me about websites was wrong : something was going down in Leicester Square and it wasn't just tourists and dudes handing out free tickets to comedy clubs.

The rumours I'd been sent by email were true, and every website that tells me about websites was wrong : something was going down in Leicester Square and it wasn't just tourists and dudes handing out free tickets to comedy clubs.

With my unfortunate 'choice' of lens, I needed to get as close to the action as possible... and that meant at the dropoff area near where the stars get out of their cars. It's also where the most rabidly aggressive autograph dealers hang out. I just hoped all my innoculations against communicable diseases were curent.

With my unfortunate 'choice' of lens, I needed to get as close to the action as possible... and that meant at the dropoff area near where the stars get out of their cars. It's also where the most rabidly aggressive autograph dealers hang out. I just hoped all my innoculations against communicable diseases were curent.

In case it's releant, the movie's name is "FOCUS" and it stars Will Smith (who you've heard of) and Margot Robie, who is best known for playing Leonardo DiCaprio's wife in 'The Wolf of Wall Street', being Australian, and being spectacularly pretty in the various dresses, bikinis and towels she's shown wearing in the movie's trailer.

In case it's releant, the movie's name is "FOCUS" and it stars Will Smith (who you've heard of) and Margot Robie, who is best known for playing Leonardo DiCaprio's wife in 'The Wolf of Wall Street', being Australian, and being spectacularly pretty in the various dresses, bikinis and towels she's shown wearing in the movie's trailer.

"Hi, I'm DJ Impact, and this thing is starting a lot later than usual, so look forward to more than my standard amount of dance and rap... I might even do some haikus and origami tonight if you're lucky"

"Hi, I'm DJ Impact, and this thing is starting a lot later than usual, so look forward to more than my standard amount of dance and rap... I might even do some haikus and origami tonight if you're lucky"

"Hi, I'm Edith Bowman, your host this evening, and I'm standing on this giant albino half-Oreo -slash- aspirin, hoping like hell Margot Robbie and Will Smith don't think it's too subtle and walk by it"

"Hi, I'm Edith Bowman, your host this evening, and I'm standing on this giant albino half-Oreo -slash- aspirin, hoping like hell Margot Robbie and Will Smith don't think it's too subtle and walk by it"

"It's WILL SMITH!!!!" That's how even Will Smith - justifiably - introduces himself upon exiting his limo.

"It's WILL SMITH!!!!" That's how even Will Smith - justifiably - introduces himself upon exiting his limo.

"Hey guys, wassup? And, no, that wasn't me in the movie 'After Earth', that was another guy. Whose name is also Will Smith" Will Smith heads over to my area, and although I am not a short person, within moments posters and photos swarm overhead like imperial star destroyers.

"Hey guys, wassup? And, no, that wasn't me in the movie 'After Earth', that was another guy. Whose name is also Will Smith" Will Smith heads over to my area, and although I am not a short person, within moments posters and photos swarm overhead like imperial star destroyers.

"I'm not willing to reach into the crowd any more than this. I've just been watching The Walking Dead, and you all look like zombies to me"

"I'm not willing to reach into the crowd any more than this. I've just been watching The Walking Dead, and you all look like zombies to me"

"Guys, I'm going to have to be honest and say I won't have time to pose for Selfies tonight. Not unless you're staggeringly pretty, in which case it stops being YOUR selfie, and starts being MY selfie"

"Guys, I'm going to have to be honest and say I won't have time to pose for Selfies tonight. Not unless you're staggeringly pretty, in which case it stops being YOUR selfie, and starts being MY selfie"

This is not Margot Robbie, but rather somebody less famous. And the guy to my left is not reading a Mormon handbook either.

This is not Margot Robbie, but rather somebody less famous. And the guy to my left is not reading a Mormon handbook either.

"I don't know who you are, but if you're famous can you sign this for me?". (I think her name was "Sam")

"I don't know who you are, but if you're famous can you sign this for me?". (I think her name was "Sam")

With the lens I'm using, from a distance of about five metres Margot Robbie might as well be twenty metres away. Which is a nice metaphor for most of the pretty ladies in my life, of which there are very few. (pretty ladies, that is. not lives).

With the lens I'm using, from a distance of about five metres Margot Robbie might as well be twenty metres away. Which is a nice metaphor for most of the pretty ladies in my life, of which there are very few. (pretty ladies, that is. not lives).

"Based on the photos you're getting me to sign, y'all must think I spent 80% of my time wearing bikinis. That's more or less true. Have you seen how good I look in a bikini??"

"Based on the photos you're getting me to sign, y'all must think I spent 80% of my time wearing bikinis. That's more or less true. Have you seen how good I look in a bikini??"

"If you promise not to make fun of how baggy my trousers look, I'll give you my personal phone number". I... would also like to take this opportunity to...not... make fun of Margot Robbie's not-baggy trousers.

"If you promise not to make fun of how baggy my trousers look, I'll give you my personal phone number". I... would also like to take this opportunity to...not... make fun of Margot Robbie's not-baggy trousers.

"I know... the Fifty Shades of Grey' premiere is tomorrow. I bet you're all camping out for that, I guess?" Me? No. But like today, I'll bring some kind of camera and lens combination just in case.

"I know... the Fifty Shades of Grey' premiere is tomorrow. I bet you're all camping out for that, I guess?" Me? No. But like today, I'll bring some kind of camera and lens combination just in case.

"Am I really giving out my personal phone number, or is it the number for the pizza place opposite? Only one way to find out. Ask for a Supreme. That's... uh... my code name"

"Am I really giving out my personal phone number, or is it the number for the pizza place opposite? Only one way to find out. Ask for a Supreme. That's... uh... my code name"

By now, Will Smith has finished doing interviews and high-fiving the crowds and kissing-babies and blessing expectant parents and has joined Margot Robbie for (hopefully) an interview on the Giant Albino Oreo.

By now, Will Smith has finished doing interviews and high-fiving the crowds and kissing-babies and blessing expectant parents and has joined Margot Robbie for (hopefully) an interview on the Giant Albino Oreo.

"They're finally here! And I've only lost three toes to frostbite in the meantime,!!"

"They're finally here! And I've only lost three toes to frostbite in the meantime,!!"

"Guys, just want you to know my Willennium CD is still available on CD and through iTunes. Please buy it. Also... watch this movie. But they've already paid me for that, so if it comes down to it, buy my back-catalogue"

"Guys, just want you to know my Willennium CD is still available on CD and through iTunes. Please buy it. Also... watch this movie. But they've already paid me for that, so if it comes down to it, buy my back-catalogue"

"Now as you know from the trailer, this movie is about con artists, and I want to give all the guys in the audience a word of warning about my co-star, and good looking women in general...."

"Now as you know from the trailer, this movie is about con artists, and I want to give all the guys in the audience a word of warning about my co-star, and good looking women in general...."

"Just because a woman is good looking and showing you some attention does not mean she finds you attractive. Well... if it's ME we're talking about, then she probably does. But looking out at the guys in the audience, I'm just saying .... be realistic." (right now, I'm taking notes)

"Just because a woman is good looking and showing you some attention does not mean she finds you attractive. Well... if it's ME we're talking about, then she probably does. But looking out at the guys in the audience, I'm just saying .... be realistic." (right now, I'm taking notes)

"When a woman is getting this close to you, that's when you need to get worried. Admittedly, if we're talking about Margot Robbie, some of you will be thinking that whatever happens next will still be worth it, even if it involves a mugging."

"When a woman is getting this close to you, that's when you need to get worried. Admittedly, if we're talking about Margot Robbie, some of you will be thinking that whatever happens next will still be worth it, even if it involves a mugging."

"And that's how easily she can steal your wallet. Again, if it's Margot Robbie you'll probably think that's money well spent... but she's counting on that"

"And that's how easily she can steal your wallet. Again, if it's Margot Robbie you'll probably think that's money well spent... but she's counting on that"

"Joke's on you.. that wallet is filled wih cash I've been stealing from people in the front row all evening". Wait... what?

"Joke's on you.. that wallet is filled wih cash I've been stealing from people in the front row all evening". Wait... what?

"Margot... I need those tickets. They were free comedy club tickets and I was serously going to go"

"Margot... I need those tickets. They were free comedy club tickets and I was serously going to go"

(Will and Margot) "Bu-ut (ugh). Thooooose SUuu-u-Mer...? Sing along!!" (Me) "Nii -- ights"? (tell me more)

(Will and Margot) "Bu-ut (ugh). Thooooose SUuu-u-Mer...? Sing along!!"
(Me) "Nii -- ights"?
(tell me more)

"Anyway... please see our movie. If it's successful, they'll make sequels and Margot Robbie will also have to wear bikinis in that, and I'll be a happy guy. Y'all want me to be happy, don't you?"

"Anyway... please see our movie. If it's successful, they'll make sequels and Margot Robbie will also have to wear bikinis in that, and I'll be a happy guy. Y'all want me to be happy, don't you?"

So... that was rather random. It's not how I would have chosen to have photographed a premiere, or an amount of time I would have wanted to stand outside (even by the standards of Sunday's Baftas). And it's also another entry for The Archive of Movie Premieres

There are two premieres next week and I'll try to get to those... and ... uh... yeah. Maybe I'll go to Fifty Shades of Grey tomorrow. If I'm not assaulted by a thousand swooning 40-year old women who have camped out overnight, that is.

Until next time!

ps. if you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieresdotco.