2 Dec - The 'In The Heart Of The Sea' European Premiere

December 21st, 2015

It's been several weeks since my last premieres (The Hunger Games Mockingjay part2 world premiere in Berlin, and the 'Ronaldo' documentary), but its only been two weeks since my twin nemeses of Theatre and Fashion made twin fools of me at the Evening Standard Theatre Awards and The British Fashion Awards.

Anyway.... before the year comes to a close there is a pleasing flurry of premieres scheduled : one this week, and THREE next week.

Here's how the first one went down:

"Near as I can tell, it's a movie about a giant fish" "Whales are mammals, Fred" "But what to whales eat, Joe?" "Mainly plankton and krill, Frank..." I'm just sad that maybe they buried the rest of the whale eight storeys underground and all we'll ever see is the tail..

"Near as I can tell, it's a movie about a giant fish"
"Whales are mammals, Fred"
"But what to whales eat, Joe?"
"Mainly plankton and krill, Frank..."

I'm just sad that maybe they buried the rest of the whale eight storeys underground and all we'll ever see is the tail..

"Leicester Square is providing quite the Christmas vibe for this premiere... and what's more Christmassy than Whate Terror On The High Seas?"

"Leicester Square is providing quite the Christmas vibe for this premiere... and what's more Christmassy than Whate Terror On The High Seas?"

Many premieres in Leicester Square have a Rapping Emcee to get proceedings warmed up (?) but for this one they had the Rap, and after that a group of singers performing sea shanties. One of which (and if you're reading this with young children on your lap you might want to cover their eyes) *may* have been about the necessity and defensibility of m45turbat10n on long sea voyages. So that was...you know.. sweet and/or authentic.

Many premieres in Leicester Square have a Rapping Emcee to get proceedings warmed up (?) but for this one they had the Rap, and after that a group of singers performing sea shanties. One of which (and if you're reading this with young children on your lap you might want to cover their eyes) *may* have been about the necessity and defensibility of m45turbat10n on long sea voyages. So that was...you know.. sweet and/or authentic.

"Stop giggling, girls. And yes, I'm sure that single is available for download on iTune"

"Stop giggling, girls. And yes, I'm sure that single is available for download on iTune"

"I can't believe I heard that. What was that song about?" "Loneliness at sea, Edith"

"I can't believe I heard that. What was that song about?"
"Loneliness at sea, Edith"

Fittingly, our first arrival is also the man with the largest presence on the movie poster (larger, indeed, than the whale itself) - Australia's own Chris Hemsworth.

Fittingly, our first arrival is also the man with the largest presence on the movie poster (larger, indeed, than the whale itself) - Australia's own Chris Hemsworth.

"If you could just say 'G'day' to my 90-year old Grandma it'd be awesome. She has no idea what it means or who you are... "

"If you could just say 'G'day' to my 90-year old Grandma it'd be awesome. She has no idea what it means or who you are... "

"And up there is the camera... I mean, I know as a director you know what a camera looks like, but I'm just letting you know" First up on stage is the film's director Ron Howard - who won an Academy Award for 2002's "A Beautiful Mind", and also last collaborated with Chris Hemsworth for the movie 'Rush' back in 2013

"And up there is the camera... I mean, I know as a director you know what a camera looks like, but I'm just letting you know" First up on stage is the film's director Ron Howard - who won an Academy Award for 2002's "A Beautiful Mind", and also last collaborated with Chris Hemsworth for the movie 'Rush' back in 2013

"If you can then clone out the microphone in photoshop, I can put it in a frame and make it look like Ron Howard is my boyfriend. No he doesn't mind... why would he?"

"If you can then clone out the microphone in photoshop, I can put it in a frame and make it look like Ron Howard is my boyfriend. No he doesn't mind... why would he?"

Possibly one of the Producers, possibly a drunk passerby. Hard to say, but spirits, one way or another, were high.

Possibly one of the Producers, possibly a drunk passerby. Hard to say, but spirits, one way or another, were high.

"I'm pretty sure she wasn't serious. Or rather, I'm pretty sure I HOPE she wasn't serious"

"I'm pretty sure she wasn't serious. Or rather, I'm pretty sure I HOPE she wasn't serious"

"In Time? Good movie.. pity nobody remembers it". Cillian Murphy is possibly best known for playing Dr Crane / The Scarecrow in Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy, but he was also in 'In Time' with Justin Timberlake and Amanda Seyfriend and a TV show called 'Peaky Blinders' which I have not watched.

"In Time? Good movie.. pity nobody remembers it". Cillian Murphy is possibly best known for playing Dr Crane / The Scarecrow in Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy, but he was also in 'In Time' with Justin Timberlake and Amanda Seyfriend and a TV show called 'Peaky Blinders' which I have not watched.

"Again... clone out the paper and microphone, move us closer together, maybe have him lean in a little bit.... ?"

"Again... clone out the paper and microphone, move us closer together, maybe have him lean in a little bit.... ?"

Not in this movie (though she is in 'The Maze Runner' and was in the rather good Dakota Fanning movie 'Now Is Good') is actress Kaya Scodelario, who is (accordingly to people more knowledgeable on the ways and wheres of human relationships) dating Benjamin Walker, who is.

Not in this movie (though she is in 'The Maze Runner' and was in the rather good Dakota Fanning movie 'Now Is Good') is actress Kaya Scodelario, who is (accordingly to people more knowledgeable on the ways and wheres of human relationships) dating Benjamin Walker, who is.

Pretty much every time I photograph Chris Hemsworth, I take one shot that's a "play the Asgardian National Anthem and have the flag flying in the background" type photo. This is that one.

Pretty much every time I photograph Chris Hemsworth, I take one shot that's a "play the Asgardian National Anthem and have the flag flying in the background" type photo. This is that one.

I suppose if I were female and/or 'that' way inclined, I'd be screaming or swooning or whatever, but Chris Hemsworth is best known to me for being in a season of 'Dancing With The Stars' that the Telco I worked for back in Australia sponsored and I wrote recaps of. To everyone else, of course, he's Thor in the movies "Thor", "Thor the Dark World", "The Avengers" and "Avengers Age of Ultron".

I suppose if I were female and/or 'that' way inclined, I'd be screaming or swooning or whatever, but Chris Hemsworth is best known to me for being in a season of 'Dancing With The Stars' that the Telco I worked for back in Australia sponsored and I wrote recaps of. To everyone else, of course, he's Thor in the movies "Thor", "Thor the Dark World", "The Avengers" and "Avengers Age of Ultron".

"That was a particularly good Paso Doble, as I recall". You might possibly be one of about 5 or 6 people worldwide for whom that reference has meaning. If not.... there are other photographs of Chris Hemsworth further below for you to enjoy.

"That was a particularly good Paso Doble, as I recall". You might possibly be one of about 5 or 6 people worldwide for whom that reference has meaning. If not.... there are other photographs of Chris Hemsworth further below for you to enjoy.

Tom Holland is set to take up the mantle of Spider-Man so carelessly cast aside by Toby Maguire and Andrew Garfield... and I myself am waiting for the invention of time travel to make it possible to reboot movies before they're made.

Tom Holland is set to take up the mantle of Spider-Man so carelessly cast aside by Toby Maguire and Andrew Garfield... and I myself am waiting for the invention of time travel to make it possible to reboot movies before they're made.

"Please don't reboot Thor just yet... I'm good for at least THIS many more movies"

"Please don't reboot Thor just yet... I'm good for at least THIS many more movies"

"Hi...I'm not sure if you remember me, but I was in that movie you were in"

"Hi...I'm not sure if you remember me, but I was in that movie you were in"

Charlotte Riley has the rare distinction of being the only female in this movie. Well... unless the whale is a female. I'm not sure whether the poster says anything about that, but if it's explicit as the sea-shanty singers further above, those questions will be answered.

Charlotte Riley has the rare distinction of being the only female in this movie. Well... unless the whale is a female. I'm not sure whether the poster says anything about that, but if it's explicit as the sea-shanty singers further above, those questions will be answered.

"Please don't use this image to imply that I endorse your product, service, or website!"

"Please don't use this image to imply that I endorse your product, service, or website!"

Benjamin Walker plays the captain of the ship that Chris Hemsworth is First Mate on, and is best known for being in 'Abraham Lincoln : Vampire Hunter"... something which I suppose he'd like for this movie to change.

Benjamin Walker plays the captain of the ship that Chris Hemsworth is First Mate on, and is best known for being in 'Abraham Lincoln : Vampire Hunter"... something which I suppose he'd like for this movie to change.

<raises glass to screen>

<raises glass to screen>

"You're the new Spider-Man. You could at least SMILE!" "This is me smiling. The new Spider-Man is going to be gritty. Oh-so-gritty"

"You're the new Spider-Man. You could at least SMILE!"
"This is me smiling. The new Spider-Man is going to be gritty. Oh-so-gritty"

Actually, I'm less interested in applying a fake comment on whatever Kaya Scodelario is saying here, than acknowledging the unique chemistry of the couple on the right of this photo.

Actually, I'm less interested in applying a fake comment on whatever Kaya Scodelario is saying here, than acknowledging the unique chemistry of the couple on the right of this photo.

"Trust in Sony. Third time's the charm... right?"

"Trust in Sony. Third time's the charm... right?"

I'm as shocked as Charlotte Riley is ambivalent about being in the movie 'Edge of Tomorrow' with Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt... one of last year's most criminally underrated movies (my theory : they should have kept the Japanese title of 'All You Need Is Kill')

I'm as shocked as Charlotte Riley is ambivalent about being in the movie 'Edge of Tomorrow' with Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt... one of last year's most criminally underrated movies (my theory : they should have kept the Japanese title of 'All You Need Is Kill')

Charlotte Riley is also known for being married to actor Tom Hardy. The woman standing behind her? Not so much.

Charlotte Riley is also known for being married to actor Tom Hardy. The woman standing behind her? Not so much.

"Mad Max Fury Road? Awesome movie. Tom's not here, but I'm happy to sign the poster on his behalf" If you haven't seen Mad Max Fury Road, WATCH IT NOW. If you can't, go onto youtube and watch the two and a half minute trailer approximately 85 times. It's EVEN BETTER than that!

"Mad Max Fury Road? Awesome movie. Tom's not here, but I'm happy to sign the poster on his behalf" If you haven't seen Mad Max Fury Road, WATCH IT NOW. If you can't, go onto youtube and watch the two and a half minute trailer approximately 85 times. It's EVEN BETTER than that!

"This sea is not entirely stable, Edith"

"This sea is not entirely stable, Edith"

<insert comment here>

<insert comment here>

"No, I will not be making a trilogy out of the origin story of the whale..." Ron Howard is classier than that.

"No, I will not be making a trilogy out of the origin story of the whale..." Ron Howard is classier than that.

"The popcorn queue is mental at this premiere, too...."

"The popcorn queue is mental at this premiere, too...."

"If you've moved on from taking photographs to updating your facebook and twitter feeds, we might go inside where it's warm?"

"If you've moved on from taking photographs to updating your facebook and twitter feeds, we might go inside where it's warm?"

So... that was a pretty decent premiere. You don't get a blue carpet AND blue sea-shanties at every premiere, and with this one I think my count of total premieres / events for the year goes to just one behind the most I've ever been to in a year which is 57 in both 2012 and 2014. I'll hopefully equal this weekend and set a new record on each of next Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. That done, I'll win acclaim, self-respect and possibly the admiration of my friends, somehow.

If nothing else, it's more entries for my Archive of Movie premieres, now well north of 300 items.

Until next time!

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