FLASHBACK : The 'Star Wars Episode III : Revenge of the Sith' premiere, Sydney

18th/19th May, 2005.

When asked (I'm not sure by who) about when I started photographing premieres, I tend to cite 2008's 'Hancock' as my first premiere. Which is true, from a certain point of view. However there were actually two premieres before that. One I stumbled across when I was on holiday in Europe once, and the other was the 'we're calling it a premiere even though nobody 's really showing up' premiere of the third Star Wars prequel in my hometown of Sydney, for which, geek that I was at the time, I had midnight tickets.

So let's travel back to a time when I was younger, less jaded... and only about to be disappointed by a Star Wars film for the third time in a row!

Just to get this out of the way right now: no, this Australian Premiere will not be attended by any of George Lucas, Natalie Portman, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L Jackson, Ewan McGregor, Christopher Lee, Jimmy Smits, Frank Oz, Hayden Christensen, Ahmed Best, ... or even a cardboard cutout of General Frikkin' Grievous lazily placed against a popcorn maker at the refreshments bar.

Just to get this out of the way right now: no, this Australian Premiere will not be attended by any of George Lucas, Natalie Portman, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L Jackson, Ewan McGregor, Christopher Lee, Jimmy Smits, Frank Oz, Hayden Christensen, Ahmed Best, ... or even a cardboard cutout of General Frikkin' Grievous lazily placed against a popcorn maker at the refreshments bar.

Advertising sign, Sydney's Town Hall. Remember this character and how important he was to the saga? (Years later I'm still not sure if he even knew he was working for Darth Sidious or not, or why exactly he had a cough) (Years, later, I'm worried that I still remember the things I'm not sure about this character)

Advertising sign, Sydney's Town Hall. Remember this character and how important he was to the saga? (Years later I'm still not sure if he even knew he was working for Darth Sidious or not, or why exactly he had a cough) (Years, later, I'm worried that I still remember the things I'm not sure about this character)

OMG it's Samuel L Jackson!!  No, not the poster - that's Jedi Master Mace Windu <TM> - I'm talking about the dude walking down the stairs. I think it's Samuel L Jackson, or rather I want it to be him so badly I'm not willing to walk downstairs and possibly find that it's not him.

OMG it's Samuel L Jackson!!  No, not the poster - that's Jedi Master Mace Windu <TM> - I'm talking about the dude walking down the stairs. I think it's Samuel L Jackson, or rather I want it to be him so badly I'm not willing to walk downstairs and possibly find that it's not him.

You may correctly presume that the presence of photos of this many advertising boards in this journal means that the premiere itself will turn out to be wildly sub-par, both in a spectacle and photographic sense. Still... remember this clone trooper and how important to the plot he was? I think his name was Steve... or ST-EV3 or something. I'm sure his action figures are worth a great deal today.

You may correctly presume that the presence of photos of this many advertising boards in this journal means that the premiere itself will turn out to be wildly sub-par, both in a spectacle and photographic sense. Still... remember this clone trooper and how important to the plot he was? I think his name was Steve... or ST-EV3 or something. I'm sure his action figures are worth a great deal today.

It's now nighttime, and just to reiterate : there is a premiere happening. And my camera's high-ISO capabilities are of a type even mobile phones at the time probably sneered at.

It's now nighttime, and just to reiterate : there is a premiere happening. And my camera's high-ISO capabilities are of a type even mobile phones at the time probably sneered at.

"What do you mean you didn't bring the CD player and speakers : how are we going to do our Thriller-esque dance routine without it??"

"What do you mean you didn't bring the CD player and speakers : how are we going to do our Thriller-esque dance routine without it??"

"If only these stormtroopers would get out of the way I could photograph that sweet marquee..."

"If only these stormtroopers would get out of the way I could photograph that sweet marquee..."

"Aren't you a little short to be a bounty hunter??"

"Aren't you a little short to be a bounty hunter??"

"I don't care if you're only 7 years old. Your ship is called 'SLAVE-1' and you don't think that's MASSIVELY insensitive? Where are your parents?"

"I don't care if you're only 7 years old. Your ship is called 'SLAVE-1' and you don't think that's MASSIVELY insensitive? Where are your parents?"

"I find your lack of merchandise.... well, not so much 'disturbing' as 'surprising' "

"I find your lack of merchandise.... well, not so much 'disturbing' as 'surprising' "

"It's not wide enough for Jabba, that's for sure. Or his ego."

"It's not wide enough for Jabba, that's for sure. Or his ego."

"Yeah...she's a huge fan of the Star Tracks films"

"Yeah...she's a huge fan of the Star Tracks films"

"Repeat after me : We Love The Prequels"

"Repeat after me : We Love The Prequels"

"Wait... Palpatine is EVIL??"

"Wait... Palpatine is EVIL??"

"I know it looks awesome right now, but Barry promise me when all the Episode III hype dies down, you'll get that thing looked at."

"I know it looks awesome right now, but Barry promise me when all the Episode III hype dies down, you'll get that thing looked at."

"No, it never crossed my mind why Sidious would only makes clones of that one Kiwi dude, and not, say, a whole bunch of really powerful Jedi he could control..."

"No, it never crossed my mind why Sidious would only makes clones of that one Kiwi dude, and not, say, a whole bunch of really powerful Jedi he could control..."

"Even if you're not in the movie, please say you are!!"

"Even if you're not in the movie, please say you are!!"

But hey.... do you remember that dude who played the character Jango Fett who died in the last movie? Thats Temuera Morrison Or maybe it's Jay Laga'aia, who played the captain of Amidala's guards. And this is as good a shot as I could manage (ten-years-from-now-ME sympathises and understands).

But hey.... do you remember that dude who played the character Jango Fett who died in the last movie? Thats Temuera Morrison Or maybe it's Jay Laga'aia, who played the captain of Amidala's guards. And this is as good a shot as I could manage (ten-years-from-now-ME sympathises and understands).

Channel 10 (?) newsreader whose name escapes me.

Channel 10 (?) newsreader whose name escapes me.

"One day you'll be working for Disney"

"One day you'll be working for Disney"

"Forget Tarkin, do you reckon a young Salacious Crumb might make an appearance in this movie?"

"Forget Tarkin, do you reckon a young Salacious Crumb might make an appearance in this movie?"

Me, to myself : I've got a ticket to a 1min past midnight screening!! where are all the Hot Babez I can impress with this?? <this thought process, as well as my insistence at the time that Hot Babez were happy to be called 'Hot Babez', explains a lot about where I am in my life today>

Me, to myself : I've got a ticket to a 1min past midnight screening!! where are all the Hot Babez I can impress with this?? <this thought process, as well as my insistence at the time that Hot Babez were happy to be called 'Hot Babez', explains a lot about where I am in my life today>

On the plus side : I do have spot at the exact geometric centre of the cinema to experience what will no doubt be a groundbreaking vindication of George Lucas' 3-part prequel saga. <again... I'm serious... no Hot Babez AT ALL at this thing??>

On the plus side : I do have spot at the exact geometric centre of the cinema to experience what will no doubt be a groundbreaking vindication of George Lucas' 3-part prequel saga. <again... I'm serious... no Hot Babez AT ALL at this thing??>

So... that was a thing, even though I didn't know it at the time, that I'd be doing a lot more of. And why commemorate the event with a journal after all this time? Well... because I'm missing the premiere for Star Wars : The Force Awakens in London this year, primarily because I have better things to do.

Plus I don't really give a crap about this reboot of a movie series a decade after they failed to be relevant, just because one of the largest entertainment companies in the world is throwing oil tankers of cash into an accountant's wet dream of a planned ongoing revenue stream of more movies, more merchandise, and more toys forever and ever amen. Toys and merchandise which were available for a quarter of a year prior to the release of The Force Awakens.

I'll try to make time to watch your NEXT film, Mr Abrams.

Until next time?

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