18 Oct - The (BFI LFF) 'Steve Jobs' Premiere

October 18th, 2015.

And so for the last time this year, it's London Film Festival, with the closing premiere of 'Steve Jobs' bringing to an end approximately two weeks of lack of sleep, high-stress on my camera shutter mechanisms and autofocii, impromptu battery recharging at odd hours and locations, actively avoiding autograph dealers, overhearing ladies (?) proposition people into photographing Colin Farrell on their cameras, and people screaming at Tom Hiddleston (twice)... as well as (weirdly) pretty much having slightly MORE of a social life than I usually do.

Will I miss it? Well.. the first premiere scheduled for post-BFI LFF is tomorrow, so probably not immediately. But first, Steve Jobs.

Here's how it went down:

Steve Jobs.... Hero? Villain? Thief? Genius? Tyrant? or perhaps merely a surprisingly small presence on the poster of his own biopic?

Steve Jobs.... Hero? Villain? Thief? Genius? Tyrant? or perhaps merely a surprisingly small presence on the poster of his own biopic?

This is what a 5:40am wakeup call, 6:29am bus, and a 7:40am arrival in Leicester Square gets you for a Michael Fassbender / Kate Winslet premiere. For the purpose of comparison, the same travel plans got me #55 one week ago at the Johnny Depp / Benedict Cumberbatch "Black Mass" premiere.

This is what a 5:40am wakeup call, 6:29am bus, and a 7:40am arrival in Leicester Square gets you for a Michael Fassbender / Kate Winslet premiere. For the purpose of comparison, the same travel plans got me #55 one week ago at the Johnny Depp / Benedict Cumberbatch "Black Mass" premiere.

Drunken dancing guy briefly entertains us during the 2+hr wait in the public pen. Security, meanwhile, are wondering whether they're allowed to just taser him and drag him out of the area

Drunken dancing guy briefly entertains us during the 2+hr wait in the public pen. Security, meanwhile, are wondering whether they're allowed to just taser him and drag him out of the area

With Drunken Dancing guy either tased, dragged away, or induced to leave with the promise of more alcohol elsewhere, things are much more serious and real now.

With Drunken Dancing guy either tased, dragged away, or induced to leave with the promise of more alcohol elsewhere, things are much more serious and real now.

.. .and then it started to rain, making things even MORE serious and real. (And I think this lady is using a Samsung phone at an event celebrating the founder of Apple.... so it's possibly getting Seriously and DANGEROUSLY real.)

.. .and then it started to rain, making things even MORE serious and real. (And I think this lady is using a Samsung phone at an event celebrating the founder of Apple.... so it's possibly getting Seriously and DANGEROUSLY real.)

"Nothing like a finely aged... wait... what do you mean the pigment in this pen isn't alcohol-based??" Jeff Daniels is the first arrival, and up until a few weeks ago at the premiere of 'The Martian' I'd never photographed him before.

"Nothing like a finely aged... wait... what do you mean the pigment in this pen isn't alcohol-based??" Jeff Daniels is the first arrival, and up until a few weeks ago at the premiere of 'The Martian' I'd never photographed him before.

Although my iPod bulges with the weight of all the film scores contained in it... I don't actually have anything from composer Daniel Pemberton on it (yet). Although he did score the movie 'Blood' which had its BFI LFF premiere back in 2012.

Although my iPod bulges with the weight of all the film scores contained in it... I don't actually have anything from composer Daniel Pemberton on it (yet). Although he did score the movie 'Blood' which had its BFI LFF premiere back in 2012.

Jeff Daniels has run NASA and been CEO of Apple in his last two movies. I'm expecting Google to hire him outright any day now.

Jeff Daniels has run NASA and been CEO of Apple in his last two movies. I'm expecting Google to hire him outright any day now.

Kate Winslet and Michael Fassbender hug on the carpet and I am not there to photograph it directly. This makes me sad, even though if I went out to photograph random people hugging on the streets I'd probably be considered weird..

Kate Winslet and Michael Fassbender hug on the carpet and I am not there to photograph it directly. This makes me sad, even though if I went out to photograph random people hugging on the streets I'd probably be considered weird..

"I've done Zuckerberg and now Jobs. Who's next, I hear you ask? That depends.... Colonel Sanders needs a gritty biopic, I guess"

"I've done Zuckerberg and now Jobs. Who's next, I hear you ask? That depends.... Colonel Sanders needs a gritty biopic, I guess"

"The bow-tie is perfect. This is precisely how I want it to lie" Aaron Sorkin (very deservedly) won an Oscar in 2011 for the screenplay to David Fincher's "The Social Network"

"The bow-tie is perfect. This is precisely how I want it to lie" Aaron Sorkin (very deservedly) won an Oscar in 2011 for the screenplay to David Fincher's "The Social Network"

Katherine Waterston is in this movie, but on balance I'd have preferred for this to be an in-focus shot of director Danny Boyle in the background. Across over 300 premieres and events to date, I've never previously photographed him.

Katherine Waterston is in this movie, but on balance I'd have preferred for this to be an in-focus shot of director Danny Boyle in the background. Across over 300 premieres and events to date, I've never previously photographed him.

"You think '127 hours' needs a sequel??"

"You think '127 hours' needs a sequel??"

"I just want to say I'm disappointed in all of you guys wearing variations on black at this premiere. iPhones can also be white, you know"

"I just want to say I'm disappointed in all of you guys wearing variations on black at this premiere. iPhones can also be white, you know"

"I"m not sure how much of the screaming is for me and how much is for Kate Winslet, actually..." Michael Fassbender arrived some time ago, but spent much of it in the darker, murkier parts of the barriered corridors of the premiere, signing for autograph dealers and soothsayers and gypsies..

"I"m not sure how much of the screaming is for me and how much is for Kate Winslet, actually..." Michael Fassbender arrived some time ago, but spent much of it in the darker, murkier parts of the barriered corridors of the premiere, signing for autograph dealers and soothsayers and gypsies..

Who is Christopher Goh, I hear you ask? Well... this is. He's not in the movie, though. And Kate Winslet, Michael Fassbender and Danny Boyle are currently surrounded by an impenetrable cordon of security personnel more appropriate for hated African dictators.

Who is Christopher Goh, I hear you ask? Well... this is. He's not in the movie, though. And Kate Winslet, Michael Fassbender and Danny Boyle are currently surrounded by an impenetrable cordon of security personnel more appropriate for hated African dictators.

"And you're sure the beard makes me look rakishly handsome, not slightly homeless?" Random Arrival #2 : director Tom Hooper, who won a best Director Oscar in 2011 for The King's Speech.

"And you're sure the beard makes me look rakishly handsome, not slightly homeless?" Random Arrival #2 : director Tom Hooper, who won a best Director Oscar in 2011 for The King's Speech.

"What do I think of Apple as a company? Awful, except for all the companies that are worse...".

"What do I think of Apple as a company? Awful, except for all the companies that are worse...".

"Do you really need to be putting your hand there??" Honestly... it took me more than several passing glances to figure out that the lady is clutching a handbag, not ... uh... Kate Winslet. In my defence, I'm really REALLY tired right now.

"Do you really need to be putting your hand there??" Honestly... it took me more than several passing glances to figure out that the lady is clutching a handbag, not ... uh... Kate Winslet. In my defence, I'm really REALLY tired right now.

At almost every event or premiere Kate Winslet and I have simultaneously attended, be it the premiere of Revolutionary Road, The 2010 Baftas, the premiere of Titanic in 3D, or the premiere of Divergent.... we've always shared A MOMENT. This premiere? It's looking dicey.

At almost every event or premiere Kate Winslet and I have simultaneously attended, be it the premiere of Revolutionary Road, The 2010 Baftas, the premiere of Titanic in 3D, or the premiere of Divergent.... we've always shared A MOMENT. This premiere? It's looking dicey.

... those chances are rising, I think.

... those chances are rising, I think.

"I just feel like I've missed a chance. A moment, if you will...." Looking ninety degrees left might alleviate that regret?

"I just feel like I've missed a chance. A moment, if you will...." Looking ninety degrees left might alleviate that regret?

"How great would it be if they had the Rugby Union on the big screens instead of the movie trailer? Yes, yes, I know it's our movie. But still.."

"How great would it be if they had the Rugby Union on the big screens instead of the movie trailer? Yes, yes, I know it's our movie. But still.."

I've been taking photos of the side of Michael Fassbender's head for dozens and dozens of frames hoping he'd turn left. I'm not claiming I have psychic charisma, but I'm also not officially ruling it out. Even if Kate Winslet and I have at best shared twenty percent of a moment.

I've been taking photos of the side of Michael Fassbender's head for dozens and dozens of frames hoping he'd turn left. I'm not claiming I have psychic charisma, but I'm also not officially ruling it out. Even if Kate Winslet and I have at best shared twenty percent of a moment.

Forty five percent of a moment.

Forty five percent of a moment.

"What do I think about Apple (allegedly) using child slave labour to make its devices? Uh.... well.... daycare for young children is really, really expensive?". Stop harrassing my future ex-wife, guys.

"What do I think about Apple (allegedly) using child slave labour to make its devices? Uh.... well.... daycare for young children is really, really expensive?". Stop harrassing my future ex-wife, guys.

Meanwhile, Michael Fassbender is steeling himself for yet more autograph signing. Or listening to music on one of those really, REALLY small iPods they don't make a big deal about.

Meanwhile, Michael Fassbender is steeling himself for yet more autograph signing. Or listening to music on one of those really, REALLY small iPods they don't make a big deal about.

"These appear to be the instructions for evacuating a hydrofoil in the event of an emergency. Is there anything in particularly you want me to do with them?"

"These appear to be the instructions for evacuating a hydrofoil in the event of an emergency. Is there anything in particularly you want me to do with them?"

"Cubic Zirconia, I'm afraid. I learned how to identify and value diamonds for a role once. That said, I guess it's still possible that your fiancee regards you with *some* warmth. albeit not a lot"

"Cubic Zirconia, I'm afraid. I learned how to identify and value diamonds for a role once. That said, I guess it's still possible that your fiancee regards you with *some* warmth. albeit not a lot"

From where I sit and given how tired I am (and how long it took me to remember how to change colours and paintbrush styles in Microsoft paint) this edited modifiation of my photo is, to me, hilarious. Meanwhile, calls for Danny Boyle's autograph from our section have intensified, and apparently Michael Fassbender performed a miracle and got a guy in the disabled pen out of his wheelchair. True story.

From where I sit and given how tired I am (and how long it took me to remember how to change colours and paintbrush styles in Microsoft paint) this edited modifiation of my photo is, to me, hilarious.

Meanwhile, calls for Danny Boyle's autograph from our section have intensified, and apparently Michael Fassbender performed a miracle and got a guy in the disabled pen out of his wheelchair. True story.

"Well... I guess if I'm every going to take a selfie on one of these types of phones it should be at this premiere" Meanwhile, my future ex-wife Kate Winslet has completed her interviews and disappeared into the cinema...

"Well... I guess if I'm every going to take a selfie on one of these types of phones it should be at this premiere" Meanwhile, my future ex-wife Kate Winslet has completed her interviews and disappeared into the cinema...

Michael Fassbender remains coy about whether it was his powers that got a guy out of a wheelchair, or merely the guy wanting an autograph more than he could recall his inability to walk.

Michael Fassbender remains coy about whether it was his powers that got a guy out of a wheelchair, or merely the guy wanting an autograph more than he could recall his inability to walk.

"It's okay, you can tell me how good-looking I am, just like I can in theory compliment you on your suit.. which I'm not going to because it looks like it was knitted in the most horrific way imaginable"

"It's okay, you can tell me how good-looking I am, just like I can in theory compliment you on your suit.. which I'm not going to because it looks like it was knitted in the most horrific way imaginable"

So... that was more or less it. But I'll be honest, I was pre-emptively disappointed enough with how I thought I'd gone photographically, that I decided to stay behind 15-20mins and wait to see if the actors would return to their waiting limos... I mean, it's not like I can't function on as little as 5 hours sleep tomorrow.... right?

I swear to you I don't really believe I'm photographing a drug deal going down here right in the middle of Leicester Square.

I swear to you I don't really believe I'm photographing a drug deal going down here right in the middle of Leicester Square.

Kate Winslet oozes charm and grace... but ominously for the chance of me getting a meaningful glance / wave / air-kiss on camera, the pom-pom on the beanie of the girl in front of me begins to rise.. (note : not a euphemism)

Kate Winslet oozes charm and grace... but ominously for the chance of me getting a meaningful glance / wave / air-kiss on camera, the pom-pom on the beanie of the girl in front of me begins to rise.. (note : not a euphemism)

I'm not sure how high a pom-pom on a beanie can rise... but it's managing it (again : not a euphemism).... and that's the end of that. I'll take 45% of a moment with Kate Winslet.

I'm not sure how high a pom-pom on a beanie can rise... but it's managing it (again : not a euphemism).... and that's the end of that. I'll take 45% of a moment with Kate Winslet.

Meanwhile, Danny Boyle, who didn't sign autographs in our area but said he'd return, looks to the comfort of the Mercedes limo to his right, and the great unwashed of the fans in front of him.... unsure of what to do

Meanwhile, Danny Boyle, who didn't sign autographs in our area but said he'd return, looks to the comfort of the Mercedes limo to his right, and the great unwashed of the fans in front of him.... unsure of what to do

"Wait... you're holding me to that promise? But my limousine is so warm and dry!"

"Wait... you're holding me to that promise? But my limousine is so warm and dry!"

"Oh, very well then. A promise is a promise. Personalised autographs for ALL your cousins?" Amazingly, Danny Boyle actually decided to sign autographs along the FULL LINE of remaining fans, while his limo trails behind until he's ready to get in. VERY classy move, Mr Boyle!!

"Oh, very well then. A promise is a promise. Personalised autographs for ALL your cousins?" Amazingly, Danny Boyle actually decided to sign autographs along the FULL LINE of remaining fans, while his limo trails behind until he's ready to get in. VERY classy move, Mr Boyle!!

also... thanks!! (I don't usually try for autographs... and today I didn't even have to!)

also... thanks!! (I don't usually try for autographs... and today I didn't even have to!)

So... that premiere was a bit like Apple itself. A lot of hype, a lot of waiting, a lot of excitement and buildup, and then a bit of a disappointment. .... But then in the end you realise that the other options (to continue the analogy) are probably something shitty and incomplete... or worse even if cheaper. And when those are your choices, it's Apple all the way, unless you can find me a wristwatch with a battery life that's longer than 24 hours, and who ever heard of such a thing....?

And that's the end of BFI London Film Festival for 2015... starting with BFI 'Luminous' some two Tuesdays ago (feat. Tom Hiddleston and Joan Collins among others), to the missed premiere for Suffragettes (I was at a film composer event for the fantastic Craig Armstrong), to a sequence of eight premieres in eight days that encompassed Trumbo (Cranston, Mirren and Goodman), High-Rise (Hiddleston and Miller and Moss), The Program (Ben Foster), Black Mass (Johnny Depp, Benedict Cumberbatch), Brooklyn (Saoirse Ronan), The Lobster (Colin Farrell and Rachel Weisz), Carol (Cate Winslet and Rooney Mara) and Youth (Rachel Weisz again, plus Michael Caine and Harvey Keitel)... and then a one day break (with an album signing) before 'Truth' (with Cate Winslet and Topher Grace) yesterday.... all fodder for the ever-growing Archive of Movie Premieres.

And tomorrow? A few hours sleep until the start of the working week.

And another premiere.

Until next time!

 

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