6 Feb - Robocop (2014) premiere

Unlike pretty much every other adult who is my age and gender, I'm not intrinsically against the remake of 1987s Robocop with a gentler rating and less manic humour. And it's probably precisely that kind of demographic (plus kids) that this movie is after, and, which this premiere was for. (That said, I'm not sure I'll like it any more than the original, of which I wasn't too much of a fan).

Still, if nothing else, the soundtrack/score by Pedro Bromfman sounds like the kind of music I want when I'm personally tearing a city to the ground, which is always pleasant accompaniment to a dark, rainy and somewhat cold evening for a London world premiere. And I'd never photographed Abbie Cornish before! Here's how it went down.

Now they're putting virtual six-packs on robotic law-enforcement as well? Hello, secondary inferiority complex.

Now they're putting virtual six-packs on robotic law-enforcement as well? Hello, secondary inferiority complex.

If this statue that's been standing there for sixty minutes walks off its plinth, this will be the best premiere since Real Steel. (And if it points its weapons towards the Autograph Dealer pen and mows down some of the people who usually block decent views at premieres it may even be the best one ever)

If this statue that's been standing there for sixty minutes walks off its plinth, this will be the best premiere since Real Steel. (And if it points its weapons towards the Autograph Dealer pen and mows down some of the people who usually block decent views at premieres it may even be the best one ever)

In a rare treat, this premiere was held in the subterranean BFI Imax cinema near Waterloo, about half an hour from Leicester Square. Fans in attendance were given not one but two twitter tags to use for this event, one or both of which I've already forgotten.

In a rare treat, this premiere was held in the subterranean BFI Imax cinema near Waterloo, about half an hour from Leicester Square. Fans in attendance were given not one but two twitter tags to use for this event, one or both of which I've already forgotten.

"Yes, I know that the ongoing spread of police-state style surveillance spells 'harbinger of doom' for humanity and its rights and freedoms, but these carbon fibre robotic pecs are pretty awesome"

"Yes, I know that the ongoing spread of police-state style surveillance spells 'harbinger of doom' for humanity and its rights and freedoms, but these carbon fibre robotic pecs are pretty awesome"

"Hi, I'm Alex Zane and I'd like to welcome you to this premiere on behalf of the benevolent police state representatives who even now have kidnapped my family and are holding a gun to my head. On a related note, this movie is amazing and you should all go watch it"

"Hi, I'm Alex Zane and I'd like to welcome you to this premiere on behalf of the benevolent police state representatives who even now have kidnapped my family and are holding a gun to my head. On a related note, this movie is amazing and you should all go watch it"

Our first arrival, as the soundtrack thunders for the coming armageddon / apocalypse (well done, Pedro Bromfam), is one of the producers, and in preparation for next week's London Fashion Week, I proclaim his green (?) corduroy (?) and maroon (?) knitted (?) scarf to be _the_ look to beat for men this year.

Our first arrival, as the soundtrack thunders for the coming armageddon / apocalypse (well done, Pedro Bromfam), is one of the producers, and in preparation for next week's London Fashion Week, I proclaim his green (?) corduroy (?) and maroon (?) knitted (?) scarf to be _the_ look to beat for men this year.

It's another producer, and Unbuttoned Shirts Without Tie? So 2009. I should know : it's still my look at most client meetings to this day. (Did I say 'most'? I meant 'all').

It's another producer, and Unbuttoned Shirts Without Tie? So 2009. I should know : it's still my look at most client meetings to this day. (Did I say 'most'? I meant 'all').

Female Lead (and fellow Australian) Abbie Cornish arrives in a dress that I, in my role as a Benchmark Analyst who is principally involved in Price Model construction and maintenance, can only describe as 'orange' and 'sparkly'. You're welcome.

Female Lead (and fellow Australian) Abbie Cornish arrives in a dress that I, in my role as a Benchmark Analyst who is principally involved in Price Model construction and maintenance, can only describe as 'orange' and 'sparkly'. You're welcome.

"Now let us pray that nobody mentions The Film That Shall Not Be Named" Abbie Cornish, of course, was in a Zack Snyder movie that was largely reviled critically and by fans alike. No, not Man of Steel, the other one.

"Now let us pray that nobody mentions The Film That Shall Not Be Named" Abbie Cornish, of course, was in a Zack Snyder movie that was largely reviled critically and by fans alike. No, not Man of Steel, the other one.

"Somebody mentioned something about a sucker punch but I didn't catch the context" .Abbie Cornish was also in the movie Limitless with Bradley Cooper, and the movies W.E  and Bright Star  both of whose premieres she did not attend. So.. that's pretty cool. (However, the movie Sucker Punch? Not cool> Sooooo very not cool)

"Somebody mentioned something about a sucker punch but I didn't catch the context" .Abbie Cornish was also in the movie Limitless with Bradley Cooper, and the movies W.E  and Bright Star  both of whose premieres she did not attend. So.. that's pretty cool. (However, the movie Sucker Punch? Not cool> Sooooo very not cool)

Yes I watched Sucker Punch in cinemas. It was awful in pretty much every way possible. Except possibly Abbie Cornish. She didn't elevate the material, but I'll allow an "I was only following orders" excuse in that instance

Yes I watched Sucker Punch in cinemas. It was awful in pretty much every way possible. Except possibly Abbie Cornish. She didn't elevate the material, but I'll allow an "I was only following orders" excuse in that instance

"What do you mean 'he wore GREEN CORDUROY"? I was assured this scarf and check-pattern suit would be the THE look for next week's London Fashion Week!!"  The truly outstanding Gary Oldman has arrived.

"What do you mean 'he wore GREEN CORDUROY"? I was assured this scarf and check-pattern suit would be the THE look for next week's London Fashion Week!!"  The truly outstanding Gary Oldman has arrived.

"I'm totally going to sell this to your agency. If I can figure out how to upload it. Bear with me, guys" Gary Oldman is pretty awesome, lack-of-green-corduroy-jacket notwithstanding.

"I'm totally going to sell this to your agency. If I can figure out how to upload it. Bear with me, guys" Gary Oldman is pretty awesome, lack-of-green-corduroy-jacket notwithstanding.

His filmography is bigger than yours. Check IMDB if you don't believe him.

His filmography is bigger than yours. Check IMDB if you don't believe him.

Next arrival : Joel Kinnaman, who plays Murphy/Robocop in the movie. Along with other roles, he was also in 'The Darkest Hour' (which I didn't watch) and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (which I don't remember him from). That said, his suit and side profile is fantastic.

Next arrival : Joel Kinnaman, who plays Murphy/Robocop in the movie. Along with other roles, he was also in 'The Darkest Hour' (which I didn't watch) and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (which I don't remember him from). That said, his suit and side profile is fantastic.

"You've all got Robocop posters for me to sign... but how do you know it's even a good movie? It hasn't even been released yet. It's pretty brilliant by the way"

"You've all got Robocop posters for me to sign... but how do you know it's even a good movie? It hasn't even been released yet. It's pretty brilliant by the way"

If your retina doesn't glow red, then I don't care how neat your suit is, I say you're not the future of law enforcement.

If your retina doesn't glow red, then I don't care how neat your suit is, I say you're not the future of law enforcement.

"The guy to my left refuses to make eye-contact. It's unsettling. Otherwise it's great to be here in London for the World premiere, definitely"

"The guy to my left refuses to make eye-contact. It's unsettling. Otherwise it's great to be here in London for the World premiere, definitely"

"No, sir, your purple scarf isn't against any criminal ordinance in my programming. But I'm just going to ask you to step into this dark alleyway..."

"No, sir, your purple scarf isn't against any criminal ordinance in my programming. But I'm just going to ask you to step into this dark alleyway..."

"There's some people over there who'd sell their grandmothers to get your autograph but can't actually pronounce your name" It's director José Padilha and the local contingent of Autograph Dealer Scum are currently more interested in the movements of Abbie Cornish.

"There's some people over there who'd sell their grandmothers to get your autograph but can't actually pronounce your name" It's director José Padilha and the local contingent of Autograph Dealer Scum are currently more interested in the movements of Abbie Cornish.

"That scarf would look amazing with that beanie" "Agreed, but what did you think about the movie?" "Like I said... amazing scarf" "Your candour and support continues to impress"

"That scarf would look amazing with that beanie"
"Agreed, but what did you think about the movie?"
"Like I said... amazing scarf"
"Your candour and support continues to impress"

"The future of law enforcement? Ultimately it's self-policing, facebook monitoring, and casual grey Beanie combos" Oh, but ... I don't have any of those beanies in my collection...

"The future of law enforcement? Ultimately it's self-policing, facebook monitoring, and casual grey Beanie combos" Oh, but ... I don't have any of those beanies in my collection...

"Your hair looks amazing. Do you always carry backlighting with you?" The Director meets The Female Lead (they high-tenned each other when he arrived. That doesn't usually happen outside of Will Smith premieres)

"Your hair looks amazing. Do you always carry backlighting with you?" The Director meets The Female Lead (they high-tenned each other when he arrived. That doesn't usually happen outside of Will Smith premieres)

Gary Oldman is interviewed right next to me. His filmography is incredible, but just in premieres I've been to he was in The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Rises , Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy  and he didn't even show up to several others. Personal highlight - he played Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg in Luc Besson's The Fifth Element.

Gary Oldman is interviewed right next to me. His filmography is incredible, but just in premieres I've been to he was in The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Rises , Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy  and he didn't even show up to several others. Personal highlight - he played Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg in Luc Besson's The Fifth Element.

As part of a marketing plan I have no problem at all with, they invited some exceedingly pretty girls to stand in front of the Robocop statues. (Settle down ladies, they had a 'Phwoarrr for Thor' competition back last year for the premiere of Thor the Dark World )

As part of a marketing plan I have no problem at all with, they invited some exceedingly pretty girls to stand in front of the Robocop statues. (Settle down ladies, they had a 'Phwoarrr for Thor' competition back last year for the premiere of Thor the Dark World )

Fine... and for the Ladies who want some eye/mind candy, it's comedian Bill Bailey!! (I've been ASSURED by reliable sources of the female persuasion that women prefer a guy with a sense of humour and not just some dashing debonair beefcake hunk. In fact I'm basing my eventual ascent out of single-dom solely on this one assurance)

Fine... and for the Ladies who want some eye/mind candy, it's comedian Bill Bailey!! (I've been ASSURED by reliable sources of the female persuasion that women prefer a guy with a sense of humour and not just some dashing debonair beefcake hunk. In fact I'm basing my eventual ascent out of single-dom solely on this one assurance)

"Okay, I'm the 'M'... I just need a 'Y' on one side, and a 'C' and an 'A' on the other. No?"

"Okay, I'm the 'M'... I just need a 'Y' on one side, and a 'C' and an 'A' on the other. No?"

"WHAT SHE SAID WAS FUNNY. YOU WILL LAUGH"

"WHAT SHE SAID WAS FUNNY. YOU WILL LAUGH"

So...say what you will about its likely artistic (?) merit, that was pretty major, and the walk back to the office thence the station left me with the pounding instrumental score rolling around my brain, making London feel like the most dangerous parts of Detroit or Syria, lacking only explosions and helicopter gunships. Assuming this movie remains primarly based in the world of fiction, there's another premiere in London tomorrow!! But for today, it's another one for the Archive of Movie Premieres

ps. if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieresdotco.