13 Feb - Winter's Tale premiere

It's Baftas Eve Eve Eve (!), and far from finding myself a nice warm hyperbaric chamber to gather my strength, I headed out for a premiere mostly allowed by the decision of London's transport workers not to call their second strike in as many weeks; and the second premiere in three days after The Monuments Men premiere  which had been graced by George Clooney, Bill Murray, Maaaaatt Daaaaamon, John Goodman and Jean Dujardin.

Accordingly, I was at the Odeon Kensington to brave the crowds, small minimum focus distance, large floral heart and artificial snow machines for this little movie.

The second sheet of a Celebrity List usually features various C- and D- listers from Reality TV shows that even the locals have difficulty remembering. And there, incongruously, is the director of the last two Star Trek films and upcoming director of Star Wars Episode VII, the one and only JJ Abrams???

The second sheet of a Celebrity List usually features various C- and D- listers from Reality TV shows that even the locals have difficulty remembering. And there, incongruously, is the director of the last two Star Trek films and upcoming director of Star Wars Episode VII, the one and only JJ Abrams???

"We'd better get these gerberas looking perfect. You know how moody Colin Farrell gets around imprecise gerberas" ('Imprecise Gerberas', incidentally was totally the name of the high school grunge band I never got around to forming)

"We'd better get these gerberas looking perfect. You know how moody Colin Farrell gets around imprecise gerberas" ('Imprecise Gerberas', incidentally was totally the name of the high school grunge band I never got around to forming)

First to arrive : Jessica Brown Findlay and her amazing wedding dress. She's most famous for being in the TV series Downton Abbey, which I don't watch. I'm sad that so few people from the now-defunct Battlestar Galactica series have moved on to motion picures...

First to arrive : Jessica Brown Findlay and her amazing wedding dress. She's most famous for being in the TV series Downton Abbey, which I don't watch. I'm sad that so few people from the now-defunct Battlestar Galactica series have moved on to motion picures...

"It's six degrees celsius out and I'm freezing and none of you guys think to tell me how much you like my dress?? Well.. thanks for nothing guys" It's a dress. I'm rationing my compliments as the weather gets colder.

"It's six degrees celsius out and I'm freezing and none of you guys think to tell me how much you like my dress?? Well.. thanks for nothing guys" It's a dress. I'm rationing my compliments as the weather gets colder.

"I know it's fake snow, but psychosomatically it's still making me feel even more cold" "Cool. What's it like working with Colin Farrell and can you get me his phone number?"

"I know it's fake snow, but psychosomatically it's still making me feel even more cold"

"Cool. What's it like working with Colin Farrell and can you get me his phone number?"

The man, the myth, the legend : Colin Farrell has arrived. And but for this photo, I'm forced to conclude that my Pentax K3 either really hates the movie S.W.A.T. and refuses to look at the guy, or its autofocus is somehow seriously deficient (or hyper sensitive) compared the K5 I used to use.

The man, the myth, the legend : Colin Farrell has arrived. And but for this photo, I'm forced to conclude that my Pentax K3 either really hates the movie S.W.A.T. and refuses to look at the guy, or its autofocus is somehow seriously deficient (or hyper sensitive) compared the K5 I used to use.

"Hey babes. Great Dress" "Given the alternative, I'll accept it as the best compliment I've received today"

"Hey babes. Great Dress"

"Given the alternative, I'll accept it as the best compliment I've received today"

"In Bruges? I've been in it, and at it" That was a decent film. And amazingly, I watched it in a cinema *literally* in the Belgian city of Bruges. True story... limited cool factor, always declining as that film slides further out of the collective subconscious.

"In Bruges? I've been in it, and at it" That was a decent film. And amazingly, I watched it in a cinema *literally* in the Belgian city of Bruges. True story... limited cool factor, always declining as that film slides further out of the collective subconscious.

"Total Recall? Hell yeah, I loved that film. Arnie was amazing in it. Oh.... right" Colin Farrell starred in the Total Recall remake, which I felt the first third of the runtime was quite decent. After that, I went back to writing hypothetical emo/goth tunes for my fake grunge band 'Imprecise Gerberas'.

"Total Recall? Hell yeah, I loved that film. Arnie was amazing in it. Oh.... right" Colin Farrell starred in the Total Recall remake, which I felt the first third of the runtime was quite decent. After that, I went back to writing hypothetical emo/goth tunes for my fake grunge band 'Imprecise Gerberas'.

"You watched all three versions of Oliver Stone's "Alexander"? Well I didn't!" I myself stopped at one version. And I was sorry.

"You watched all three versions of Oliver Stone's "Alexander"? Well I didn't!" I myself stopped at one version. And I was sorry.

Blurry, therefore art. This amount of panning and trailing flash is so extreme that I'm trying to figure out if it's somehow more 'Art' than the last time I sort of succeeded in this kind of shot, which was of Penelope Cruz at the premiere of The Counselor

Blurry, therefore art. This amount of panning and trailing flash is so extreme that I'm trying to figure out if it's somehow more 'Art' than the last time I sort of succeeded in this kind of shot, which was of Penelope Cruz at the premiere of The Counselor

"Seriously? A Pen? I've moved onto fully digital and 3D... it's about time you did, too" I'm being very unfair. JJ Abrams is one of the most consistently nice people to grace red carpets at premieres. And also book signings

"Seriously? A Pen? I've moved onto fully digital and 3D... it's about time you did, too" I'm being very unfair. JJ Abrams is one of the most consistently nice people to grace red carpets at premieres. And also book signings

"Okay, let's see if I remember how to use one of these things..."

"Okay, let's see if I remember how to use one of these things..."

Jessica Brown Findlay has entered my area of the public pen and a great zombie horde of autograph dealers are waving papers at her like they're 1930s stockbrokers trying to avoid a great depression. (Yes, damnit... that's my simile, and I'm sticking to it. I exhausted myself writing a Valentines Day poem I have no intention of sending to its intended recipient) (where was I? Oh. Right. London premiere)

Jessica Brown Findlay has entered my area of the public pen and a great zombie horde of autograph dealers are waving papers at her like they're 1930s stockbrokers trying to avoid a great depression. (Yes, damnit... that's my simile, and I'm sticking to it. I exhausted myself writing a Valentines Day poem I have no intention of sending to its intended recipient) (where was I? Oh. Right. London premiere)

"You want me to sign your box set of 'The Walking Dead' because you prefer that show to 'Downton Abbey'? Umm... okay!!"

"You want me to sign your box set of 'The Walking Dead' because you prefer that show to 'Downton Abbey'? Umm... okay!!"

Akiva Goldsman makes his directorial debut with this film, but he also wrote the screenplays for Batman Forever, Batman & Robin, the Lost in Space  movie, and the Da Vinci Code. Fortunately, though, he also won an Oscar for writing A Beautiful Mind (2001).

Akiva Goldsman makes his directorial debut with this film, but he also wrote the screenplays for Batman Forever, Batman & Robin, the Lost in Space  movie, and the Da Vinci Code. Fortunately, though, he also won an Oscar for writing A Beautiful Mind (2001).

"Ideally, even given Batman & Robin I'd rather sign DVDs of movies I helped write than helped produce" Hmm.. yes. Akiva Goldsman's production credits include Jonah Hex, The Losers, Hancock, the Poseidon remake, Starsky & Hutch movie, Deep Blue Sea and Paranormal Activities 2-4 inclusive. Then again, I kind of have a soft spot for Deep Blue Sea. There aren't enough "Smart Shark" genre films.

"Ideally, even given Batman & Robin I'd rather sign DVDs of movies I helped write than helped produce" Hmm.. yes. Akiva Goldsman's production credits include Jonah Hex, The Losers, Hancock, the Poseidon remake, Starsky & Hutch movie, Deep Blue Sea and Paranormal Activities 2-4 inclusive. Then again, I kind of have a soft spot for Deep Blue Sea. There aren't enough "Smart Shark" genre films.

I kind of regret not arbitrarily bringing a photo of JJ Abrams with me for the man to sign. Firstly, I'm a huge fan of his work, secondly I assume next time I see him will be much closer or at the release of Star Wars episode VII at which point he'll be even more untouchable, and hopefully awesome.

I kind of regret not arbitrarily bringing a photo of JJ Abrams with me for the man to sign. Firstly, I'm a huge fan of his work, secondly I assume next time I see him will be much closer or at the release of Star Wars episode VII at which point he'll be even more untouchable, and hopefully awesome.

"Didn't we meet under circumstances much like this?" "You mean under a flower-arch at outside of a London cinema within sight of Colin Farrell and a fake snow machine? Probably"

"Didn't we meet under circumstances much like this?"

"You mean under a flower-arch at outside of a London cinema within sight of Colin Farrell and a fake snow machine? Probably"

Trying to remember how many relationships he's facilitated just by hanging around fake snow machines.

Trying to remember how many relationships he's facilitated just by hanging around fake snow machines.

So.... that was some kind of thing. I'm feeling fairly freaked out about the BAFTAs if I'm honest. No matter how cold and/or wet and/or crowded it gets, every year it gets bigger in terms of queue length and crowd craziness. Needless to say, I'll be there!

Until then, it's another one for The Archive of Movie premieres

Until next time!

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