December 4th, 2013.
Some four years ago I took a photo of Nicole Kidman at the premiere of "Australia" which I even had published. Then, earlier this year at the premiere of Stoker I unsuccessfully attempted to get it signed. Hence, with a new movie out, I grabbed my cameras, equipment AND the photo off to Leicester Square to have another go. She didn't attend.
Still. here's how it went down:
The Odeon West End hosts its second premiere in four days. It's for 'The Railway Man', but if my rancid train company is sponsoring this event, I am walking away. Interesting fact : First Capital Connect has a self-imposed service level that says they'll attempt to respond to emails within 5 days. The most recent reply I got took a month. There's another one that I've still a fortnight from receiving a response for. The point being : I believe this is a vengeance flick?
I have been reliably informed that this is Myleene Klass but I'm not entirely certain who she is or why she is famous. Yes, I've seen her in that ad for a supermarket's Christmas offering, but I'm not sure that alone constitutes 'fame'.
A photograph of the "Tip List" confirms that the rumours are true : Nicole Kidman is not expected to attend tonight. I try to retain hope that she's so well-known that she doesn't NEED to be on the list, but that's kind of a vain hope.
"That microphone had better be on, Jeff. I'm not doing this twice"
Hours pass and the temperature falls to a balmy five or six degrees (which isn't cold, but is if you're standing out in it for a few hours). Anyway, this woman presumably wants to get this Intro right in one take so she get into a less glamorous but warmer jacket.
"Sonny, in my day our digital SLRs were called 'sketchpads' " More guests arrive. And they are wearing ties. Repeat : ties.
Jeremy Irvine was the original (?) owner of the horse in "War Horse" and I keep thinking he was the voice of Tintin in Tintin, but that's Jamie Bell.
Jeremy Irvine still owes me five dollars, or so I like to claim. Seems he wants to negotiate it down to two dollars. In this economic environment? I don't think so.
Sam Reid doesn't look familiar, though he was in the Roland Emmerich Shakespeare-Conspiracy movie "Anonymous". He plays Young Stellan Skarsgard in this film.
Has just been informed that the 20:04 train to Bedford is currently running late, and the pre-recorded voice message telling him this assures him that somebody, somewhere, was once paid to say they're sorry for the inconvenience caused. And it almost certainly wasn't somebody who worked for First Capital Connect or gives a crap.
Jonathan Teplitzky shows up looking like the younger Picard Clone that Star Trek Insurrection really could have used. He's the director of this film, and the lady to his left is the widow of the man who wrote the autobiographical book upon which the film is based.
"You hated Star Trek Insurrection? Me too!! I wasn't in it, though. Tom Hardy was" In all honesty, the things that were waaaaay wrong about Star Trek Insurrection had little to do with Tom Hardy specifically.
Tanroh Ishida is set to be in the upcoming Keanu Reeves appalling-CGI-fest "47 Ronin" and was in "Gambit" with Colin Firth as well. I try to explain to him how appalling First Capital Connect are, but he's (London-based) Japanese and comes from a country whose trains are so punctual you could schedule brain surgery based on timetable accuracy. (In England, FCC are owned by an American company...)
Right... there's a premiere on.
"You're absolutely right... watching this movie illegally streaming is a lot faster than having to go inside and watch a whole bunch of trailers" Also illegal. Movie piracy is killing jobs, people - and even though the bastards who made movies like The Smurfs2, After Earth, The Lone Ranger, Die Hard 5 and to a lesser extent Man of Steel ABSOLUTELY deserve to lose their jobs, some of the catering staff don't. It's a complicated moral issue, sure.
Colin Firth has arrived, looking temporarily haggard. Maybe he's been helping First Capital Connect work on their backlog of customer service complaint responses, which I'm assured is the reason why it's taking them up to 4x longer to respond disinterestedly with copy-paste proforma responses than usual.
"I know this is totally unprofessional of me, but could you please adjust the white balance and exposure compensation on my camera so I can take a better photo of you?"
"Best hairstyle of my generation? That's kind of you to say, but I know One Direction were here just a few days ago" Jeremy Irvine signs for fans.... or completes their cryptic crosswords. I can't see from here.
"Damn these Delay Repay forms are annoying to fill out". Yeah, and the refunds can only be used to pay for more train tickets. Which is like almost dying from a bad batch of cocaine but having the Dealer give yo a credit on your next purchase, produced in the same lab conditions by the same people as almost killed you last time. (I said *ALMOST like*)
"You carried that Nicole Kidman 18x12 photo all this way only for her not to be here? I am apalled, and would be happy to sign it on her behalf" Thanks, Colin Firth, but that's okay.
"Colin was a joy to work with. And don't touch my lapel - Stellan Skarsgard brushed past it once and I swore I'd never wash it" Stellan Skarsgard sadly didn't attend tonight either, but I photographed him about a month ago at the premiere of "Thor the Dark World"
"Yes, I would say that the trains in this country are appalling. However, I can't understand why people don't just buy a Bentley and get a driver to take them everywhere - isn't that the obvious solution?" Gosh darn it, he's right.
Colin Firth gets within just a few meters, and stares enigmatically into the middle distance, pondering imponderables. Because if a machine can learn the value of a human life, maybe we can too?
Given he played The King in "The King's Speech" I'm rather pleased I got a good-quality profile shot. This is totally what the back of the coins minted during his reign would have looked like.
"I'm pretty sure I'd rather be riding the ferris wheel in the Christmas festival in Leicester Square than fighting the queue for popcorn. I'll wait for you there"
"Hey, you're right. I *AM* looking good - thanks for noticing!!"
So.. .that's another one. And tomorrow, I'll hopefully be doing one again.
Until next time!
Here's The Archive of Movie Premieres
PS. If you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo, or on facebook at premieresdotco.