1 Dec 2013 - 'The Class of 92' Premiere

December 1st, 2013.

Being from Australia; and having an iPod that is probably about half-full of soundtrack scores, and much of the remainder comprised of weird stuff I picked up on my travels..... it might seem strange that I would head in to London for the premiere of a Documentary about Manchester United, set to be attended by several of the band OneDirection.

Genuinely, I'm not sure why either. My knowledge of Manchester United's 'Class of 92' was limited to verifying that David Beckham was one of them, and I can recognise him due to his magnificent hair. Meanwhile my knowledge of OneDirection is limited to the screaming of teen girls and the name Harry Styles, once again primarily due to his magnificent hair. (Needless to say, that's more than enough reason to head down to Leicester Square on a Sunday evening).

So, with sincere apologies to any fans of either Manchester United or One Direction, neither of whom are well served by my lack of knowledge in their areas of superior performance, here's how I felt it went down*

I'm in Leicester Square, the carpet hasn't been laid, there's a Christmas carnival behind me and the average age of the crowd is skewed surprisingly young for a documentary about footballers in 1992, a year many of these people would not have been born....

I'm in Leicester Square, the carpet hasn't been laid, there's a Christmas carnival behind me and the average age of the crowd is skewed surprisingly young for a documentary about footballers in 1992, a year many of these people would not have been born....

First to arrive : Phil Neville. The lady to my left is trembling slightly because she's from Manchester and knows who he is. The two Australian girls behind me are here for OneDirection and don't seem to be similarly affected.

First to arrive : Phil Neville. The lady to my left is trembling slightly because she's from Manchester and knows who he is. The two Australian girls behind me are here for OneDirection and don't seem to be similarly affected.

Fine, I've gone onto wikipedia to learn Phil Neville not only played for Manchester United, but has been confirmed as their new first team coach. And his brother also played for Manchester United, and his twin sister was an England netball international. Impressive!

Fine, I've gone onto wikipedia to learn Phil Neville not only played for Manchester United, but has been confirmed as their new first team coach. And his brother also played for Manchester United, and his twin sister was an England netball international. Impressive!

OneDirection has a bald bandmember already? Cool (?) - but why no screaming from the girls all around me?

OneDirection has a bald bandmember already? Cool (?) - but why no screaming from the girls all around me?

Nicky Butt is apparently not a OneDirection bandmember, but instead is a former Manchester United player and currently reserve team coach for the team.

Nicky Butt is apparently not a OneDirection bandmember, but instead is a former Manchester United player and currently reserve team coach for the team.

Oh, look. It's somebody else I'm going to have to go to wireimage to identify, and then decide whether to head on to wikipedia to get the lowdown on. I honestly don't think I have time for both, so I'll just leave it at Tony Adams. Not from One Direction, as I would have been stampeded by now and not able to take this photograph. (He played for Arsenal. Thanks, wikipedia!)

Oh, look. It's somebody else I'm going to have to go to wireimage to identify, and then decide whether to head on to wikipedia to get the lowdown on. I honestly don't think I have time for both, so I'll just leave it at Tony Adams. Not from One Direction, as I would have been stampeded by now and not able to take this photograph. (He played for Arsenal. Thanks, wikipedia!)

I was going to say that it was sweet of the OneDirection bandmember to bring his Dad/Uncle to the premiere. Turns out it's the guy in front who is famous : he's Paul Scholes, and that's his son. Paul Scholes played for ManU from 1993-2013, retiring for the second time this year. Wow. I'm roughly his age and haven't even retired once, yet.

I was going to say that it was sweet of the OneDirection bandmember to bring his Dad/Uncle to the premiere. Turns out it's the guy in front who is famous : he's Paul Scholes, and that's his son. Paul Scholes played for ManU from 1993-2013, retiring for the second time this year. Wow. I'm roughly his age and haven't even retired once, yet.

"Don't feel bad you don't know who I am, ladies. I'm a fan of 1D too" Well played, Paul Scholes.

"Don't feel bad you don't know who I am, ladies. I'm a fan of 1D too" Well played, Paul Scholes.

Don't let the demure expression fool you. She's probably got two carving knives ready to dismember anyone who gets between her and Harry or Zane if either turn up (... sorry, that's all the names of One Direction bandmembers I've been able to absorb from the teen girls surrounding me).

Don't let the demure expression fool you. She's probably got two carving knives ready to dismember anyone who gets between her and Harry or Zane if either turn up (... sorry, that's all the names of One Direction bandmembers I've been able to absorb from the teen girls surrounding me).

It's David Beckham! Please allow me to one day let you buy me a drink so I can tell you how the battery on my old Pentax K10D ran out while taking a rapid-shot burst IN THE MIDDLE of a free kick he took for LA Galaxy against Sydney FC at Sydney Olympic stadium. The last photo I took was of the ball clearing the wall of defenders... then the battery gave out. Needless to say Beckham nailed that goal, and I missed it. I'll be having that drink now. Again.

It's David Beckham! Please allow me to one day let you buy me a drink so I can tell you how the battery on my old Pentax K10D ran out while taking a rapid-shot burst IN THE MIDDLE of a free kick he took for LA Galaxy against Sydney FC at Sydney Olympic stadium. The last photo I took was of the ball clearing the wall of defenders... then the battery gave out. Needless to say Beckham nailed that goal, and I missed it. I'll be having that drink now. Again.

"Guys, I can't sign for long. I've got lots of interviews, plus my daughter has said she'll never speak to me again if I don't get Harry Styles' autograph and his commitment to marry her or something" I believe this Gary Neville, brother of Phil (above) and Tracey (referenced above). I'm not sure if he has kids, but he has played for Manchester United.

"Guys, I can't sign for long. I've got lots of interviews, plus my daughter has said she'll never speak to me again if I don't get Harry Styles' autograph and his commitment to marry her or something" I believe this Gary Neville, brother of Phil (above) and Tracey (referenced above). I'm not sure if he has kids, but he has played for Manchester United.

Ladies, please commence your screaming, crying, fainting or whatever. This is Harry Styles, and he is from One Direction. My heart rate hasn't increased any, but taken as an average for the people in my pen, yeah, both average heart rate and pheromone levels have jumped somewhat.

Ladies, please commence your screaming, crying, fainting or whatever. This is Harry Styles, and he is from One Direction. My heart rate hasn't increased any, but taken as an average for the people in my pen, yeah, both average heart rate and pheromone levels have jumped somewhat.

His hair, as prophecied, is magnificent, and probably obscures noise-cancelling in-ear headphones he's wearing for protection.

His hair, as prophecied, is magnificent, and probably obscures noise-cancelling in-ear headphones he's wearing for protection.

I get the screaming girls, but that excited Dude all-but crowdsurfing over the two rows in front is a Dude, right? Fine... I'll have to check out OneDirection on itunes. They've obviously caught on.

I get the screaming girls, but that excited Dude all-but crowdsurfing over the two rows in front is a Dude, right? Fine... I'll have to check out OneDirection on itunes. They've obviously caught on.

"MARRY MEEEEEE!!!!" I still can't believe they've combined the fandom of Manchester United with the - surely- entirely separate demographic of One Direction fans. Surely that's like inviting both great white sharks and pihrana to the same banquet and expecting everybody to leave with teeth, limbs and hearing intact.

"MARRY MEEEEEE!!!!" I still can't believe they've combined the fandom of Manchester United with the - surely- entirely separate demographic of One Direction fans. Surely that's like inviting both great white sharks and pihrana to the same banquet and expecting everybody to leave with teeth, limbs and hearing intact.

I kind of wish this photo was more in focus, but to take it I'd have to have entered the "danger/deafness" zone, and braved violent estrogen levels the likes of which even the Spartans in 300 might back away at. Still... if you really want your hairdresser to give you the same style as Styles, feel free to show them this photo.

I kind of wish this photo was more in focus, but to take it I'd have to have entered the "danger/deafness" zone, and braved violent estrogen levels the likes of which even the Spartans in 300 might back away at. Still... if you really want your hairdresser to give you the same style as Styles, feel free to show them this photo.

"Hold on a second, I think I owe that Australian guy over there five thousand dollars" I'm sure it was five million.

"Hold on a second, I think I owe that Australian guy over there five thousand dollars" I'm sure it was five million.

Just in case you thought it was safe to stop crying and shaking uncontrollably, here's another One Direction bandmember. I believe his name is Liam. (Girls in our area were still shouting out for Harry, so it was hard to tell).

Just in case you thought it was safe to stop crying and shaking uncontrollably, here's another One Direction bandmember. I believe his name is Liam. (Girls in our area were still shouting out for Harry, so it was hard to tell).

"Babe, I can sign anything you put in front of me, but if it's a stamp for an envelope the security guy behind me will be happy to lick it for you"

"Babe, I can sign anything you put in front of me, but if it's a stamp for an envelope the security guy behind me will be happy to lick it for you"

"Now let's see if 256 games for Manchester United get me discount popcorn in this cinema"

"Now let's see if 256 games for Manchester United get me discount popcorn in this cinema"

"You realise I'm not medically trained to be able to sign that declaration you're putting in front of me? Oh, you don't care. Well that makes all the difference" Ryan Giggs isn't sure.

"You realise I'm not medically trained to be able to sign that declaration you're putting in front of me? Oh, you don't care. Well that makes all the difference" Ryan Giggs isn't sure.

"You realise I'm not....? Oh, you don't care. Very well, then" Ryan Giggs acquiesces.

"You realise I'm not....? Oh, you don't care. Very well, then" Ryan Giggs acquiesces.

To the best of my limited football knowledge, this is Gordon Ramsay. Who is a chef.

To the best of my limited football knowledge, this is Gordon Ramsay. Who is a chef.

If I was any kind of football fan I guess I might have asked for an autograph, high five, hairgel advice or the number of a good tattooist. Instead : a slightly overcropped shot of David Beckham. (You're welcome!!)

If I was any kind of football fan I guess I might have asked for an autograph, high five, hairgel advice or the number of a good tattooist. Instead : a slightly overcropped shot of David Beckham. (You're welcome!!)

Posh, Becks and Offspring of various sizes. With big thanks to the person holding up the camera in front of me. Not because they have no right to (they do), but because I believe their picture isn't in focus and they probably ARE going to need a flash in that light and at that distance. Mrs Beckham, as a designer / model / performer, has an expression that's on my side, clearly.

Posh, Becks and Offspring of various sizes. With big thanks to the person holding up the camera in front of me. Not because they have no right to (they do), but because I believe their picture isn't in focus and they probably ARE going to need a flash in that light and at that distance. Mrs Beckham, as a designer / model / performer, has an expression that's on my side, clearly.

Well... that pose doesn't look in the least sexy.

Well... that pose doesn't look in the least sexy.

And now that I've photographed Hunchback Spice, I can with some proud indifference state I've now photographed all the Spice Girls - Baby and Sporty Spices at the "Pride of Britain Awards last year" , Scary Spice at the first "Hunger Games premiere" and Ginger Spice at "The Boat that Rocked". Next up : Bandmembers of Def Leppard!?

And now that I've photographed Hunchback Spice, I can with some proud indifference state I've now photographed all the Spice Girls - Baby and Sporty Spices at the "Pride of Britain Awards last year" , Scary Spice at the first "Hunger Games premiere" and Ginger Spice at "The Boat that Rocked". Next up : Bandmembers of Def Leppard!?

And a shot of all six of the Class of 92. Did I really bring a Monopod to a premiere because I suspected I'd have trouble getting height in this crowd? Yes, yes I did.

And a shot of all six of the Class of 92. Did I really bring a Monopod to a premiere because I suspected I'd have trouble getting height in this crowd? Yes, yes I did.

So.... after that, I faced the long trek back home, wondering if my hearing would ever return, and trying to figure out what documentary the bandmembers of Def Leppard would likely get invited to attend...

Until next time, it's another for "The Archive of Movie Premieres"

Incidentally, if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo, or on facebook at premieresdotco.