21 Jul 2013 - 'The Lone Ranger' Premiere

July 21st, 2013.

Sunday premieres are not my favourite thing, more so when I still have to edit the tail end of 4000 photos from last weekend's awesome epic wish.co.uk Zombie Weekend (did I mention I went on a Zombie Wekend last weekend? It was awesomely epic).

But I wasn't going to miss this one... even though I got there too late to get one of the 600 orange wristbands they started handing out from about 8am. So I got to Leicester Square at about 3pm and I assumed I'd be shooting from outside the event....

... but not so. Here's how it went down.

I found a spot with an indirect view to the giant corporate logo, with the interview stage to its left set to be partially blocked by a boom mike and camera, and ten billion mobile phones... and did I mention that outside the Hans Zimmer score I'm not really attracted to this movie? Still, there's the possibility of getting a decent photo of Johnny Depp at a premiere. My failure to photograph him properly now runs to not "one" and not "two" premieres and not even three (The Rum Diaries which I missed) but "four" premieres (because it still lacked a *great* shot)

I found a spot with an indirect view to the giant corporate logo, with the interview stage to its left set to be partially blocked by a boom mike and camera, and ten billion mobile phones... and did I mention that outside the Hans Zimmer score I'm not really attracted to this movie? Still, there's the possibility of getting a decent photo of Johnny Depp at a premiere. My failure to photograph him properly now runs to not "one" and not "two" premieres and not even three (The Rum Diaries which I missed) but "four" premieres (because it still lacked a *great* shot)

So apparently I needn't have worried, because Johnny Depp appears to be in the pen opposite me. That's handy (?!).

So apparently I needn't have worried, because Johnny Depp appears to be in the pen opposite me. That's handy (?!).

"I heard this movie got totally annihilated by Despicable Me 2 at the box office, but they didn't have a premiere for THAT in London" True on both counts, Wise Old Lady Opposite Me..

"I heard this movie got totally annihilated by Despicable Me 2 at the box office, but they didn't have a premiere for THAT in London" True on both counts, Wise Old Lady Opposite Me..

Sadly for the lady with the giant sketch, Helena Bonham Carter was not to attend. But Johnny Depp did sign the Jack Sparrow sketch this lady is holding (future woohoo!)

Sadly for the lady with the giant sketch, Helena Bonham Carter was not to attend. But Johnny Depp did sign the Jack Sparrow sketch this lady is holding (future woohoo!)

I'd spent mere hours standing next to some noisily excitable Turkish guys who were surely far too young and far too MALE to truly be plausible fans of Johnny Depp, and who were folding and tearing and rolling large The Lone Ranger posters into smaller pieces. And while I pondered "why?", a man on a horse arrived.

I'd spent mere hours standing next to some noisily excitable Turkish guys who were surely far too young and far too MALE to truly be plausible fans of Johnny Depp, and who were folding and tearing and rolling large The Lone Ranger posters into smaller pieces. And while I pondered "why?", a man on a horse arrived.

Armie Hammer arrives, and his suit reminds me that Queensland won their eighth straight Rugby League 'State of Origin' series last week, which was pretty awesome.

Armie Hammer arrives, and his suit reminds me that Queensland won their eighth straight Rugby League 'State of Origin' series last week, which was pretty awesome.

Can I get a "Wooo!!!!" for Consensual sexual harrassment in public?

Can I get a "Wooo!!!!" for Consensual sexual harrassment in public?

Armie Hammer most notably played both of the Winklevoss twins in David Fincher's "The Social Network". And the lens on the camera of the man trying to photograph him appears to be so large as to require a gymbal to wield effectively.

Armie Hammer most notably played both of the Winklevoss twins in David Fincher's "The Social Network". And the lens on the camera of the man trying to photograph him appears to be so large as to require a gymbal to wield effectively.

Harry Treadaway, meanwhile, was in Cockneys vs Zombies. And damnit I can't for the life of me remember why or how I could have missed that premiere.

Harry Treadaway, meanwhile, was in Cockneys vs Zombies. And damnit I can't for the life of me remember why or how I could have missed that premiere.

It's Johnny Depp, psyching himself to cope with the buffetting wall of cheers he always gets at these events.

It's Johnny Depp, psyching himself to cope with the buffetting wall of cheers he always gets at these events.

"Hello, ordinary people. I'll be back later to sign autographs" Johnny Depp did not say. Actually, he did say he'd come back to sign, and unlike others he actually meant it (good news, Turkish fans (?) of Johnny Depp(?)

"Hello, ordinary people. I'll be back later to sign autographs" Johnny Depp did not say. Actually, he did say he'd come back to sign, and unlike others he actually meant it (good news, Turkish fans (?) of Johnny Depp(?)

This is director Gore Verbinski, who also directed the first three Pirates of the Caribbean films (so don't blame him for the fourth one). He also directed the animated Rango, which I thought was excellent.

This is director Gore Verbinski, who also directed the first three Pirates of the Caribbean films (so don't blame him for the fourth one). He also directed the animated Rango, which I thought was excellent.

Actress Ruth Wilson meets Fan of Actress Ruth Wilson, and there are no losers.

Actress Ruth Wilson meets Fan of Actress Ruth Wilson, and there are no losers.

"Thanks for tearing my dress. Here's my tailor. You can deal with him"

"Thanks for tearing my dress. Here's my tailor. You can deal with him"

My spot is situated across the road from the (blurry) pen in front of me and Armie and Johnnie have taken to the far stage. My zoom lens is long and excellent, but the rare hot English weather might create actual heat haze in front of the stage.

My spot is situated across the road from the (blurry) pen in front of me and Armie and Johnnie have taken to the far stage. My zoom lens is long and excellent, but the rare hot English weather might create actual heat haze in front of the stage.

Did I say heat haze? Also possible it's the estrogen levels of hundreds of female fans of Johnny Depp. (I hear the Russians once experimented with a bomb based on that principle)

Did I say heat haze? Also possible it's the estrogen levels of hundreds of female fans of Johnny Depp. (I hear the Russians once experimented with a bomb based on that principle)

"I just want to respond to opinions that the last two Pirates of the Caribbean films were rubbish. I actually think that's true of the last THREE Pirates movies" Actually given he's probably being paid the equivalent of all of Greece's GDP by Disney for playing Jack Saprrow a fifth time, he probably didn't say this.

"I just want to respond to opinions that the last two Pirates of the Caribbean films were rubbish. I actually think that's true of the last THREE Pirates movies" Actually given he's probably being paid the equivalent of all of Greece's GDP by Disney for playing Jack Saprrow a fifth time, he probably didn't say this.

"You really LIKE it? I was thinking "lawsuit", myself..."

"You really LIKE it? I was thinking "lawsuit", myself..."

It's Tom Wilkinson. (I don't attempt funny comments about Tom Wilkinson. He scares me!)

It's Tom Wilkinson. (I don't attempt funny comments about Tom Wilkinson. He scares me!)

"These are the keys to Jerry Bruckheimer's Lamborghini" "What do you want me to do with them, sir?" "Does Jerry Bruckheimer look like he cares what happens to a Lamborghini?" Jerry Bruckheimer, for whom the phrase "Uber Producer" appears to have been either invented or self-bestowed, has arrived. I photographed him in the near darkness of a dark London February back at "Confessions of a Shopaholic" in 2009. I have no evidence as to whether he refers to himself in the third person, incidentally.

"These are the keys to Jerry Bruckheimer's Lamborghini"
"What do you want me to do with them, sir?"
"Does Jerry Bruckheimer look like he cares what happens to a Lamborghini?"

Jerry Bruckheimer, for whom the phrase "Uber Producer" appears to have been either invented or self-bestowed, has arrived. I photographed him in the near darkness of a dark London February back at "Confessions of a Shopaholic" in 2009. I have no evidence as to whether he refers to himself in the third person, incidentally.

"You like my shorts? I specifically checked to make sure there were none shorter than this" They might have washcloths smaller. I believe she's a singer by the name of Diana Vickers.

"You like my shorts? I specifically checked to make sure there were none shorter than this" They might have washcloths smaller. I believe she's a singer by the name of Diana Vickers.

"My tailor said he could make them even shorter, but I'd have to get medical signoff for the procedure"

"My tailor said he could make them even shorter, but I'd have to get medical signoff for the procedure"

"Jerry Bruckheimer has an honorary degree from a prestigious nonaccredited online university and will sign that document if required"

"Jerry Bruckheimer has an honorary degree from a prestigious nonaccredited online university and will sign that document if required"

"Now, where was I and whose implausible yet violent scripts was I rejecting last?" YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

"Now, where was I and whose implausible yet violent scripts was I rejecting last?"
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I don't know who this is. From the back I thought "Tom Wilkinson" but he's never this jolly.

I don't know who this is. From the back I thought "Tom Wilkinson" but he's never this jolly.

I don't know who this is either. Not Game of Thrones' Lena Heady, surely? (Wireimage suggests she was there as the date of Harry Treadawell's brother, but that doesn't entirely prove or disprove my assertion)

I don't know who this is either. Not Game of Thrones' Lena Heady, surely? (Wireimage suggests she was there as the date of Harry Treadawell's brother, but that doesn't entirely prove or disprove my assertion)

Now why would somebody leave their Doctorate in advanced homeopathy from a university I've never heard of lying here?

Now why would somebody leave their Doctorate in advanced homeopathy from a university I've never heard of lying here?

Gore Verbinski has come a long way since he directed John Cleese and Nathan Lane in Mouse Hunt (1997). I doubt he even wore a tie once during the filming of *that* movie

Gore Verbinski has come a long way since he directed John Cleese and Nathan Lane in Mouse Hunt (1997). I doubt he even wore a tie once during the filming of *that* movie

I've always felt that my Pentax struggles when it's photographing various hues of Red. Not Yellow, though, it appears.

I've always felt that my Pentax struggles when it's photographing various hues of Red. Not Yellow, though, it appears.

The dude who draws pen sketches while waiting at premieres is back! Jerry Bruckheimer, I presume (for some reason he was calling out to Gore,...). He last plied his wares at the premieres of "The Heat" and "Hummingbird aka Redemption"

The dude who draws pen sketches while waiting at premieres is back! Jerry Bruckheimer, I presume (for some reason he was calling out to Gore,...). He last plied his wares at the premieres of "The Heat" and "Hummingbird aka Redemption"

These two apparently composed a remix version of the classic Lone Ranger theme. I think their band is called "Future Cuts" and their genre interpretation of the theme was "Dance". (Pity - I remember when all those interpretations used to be rap..).

These two apparently composed a remix version of the classic Lone Ranger theme. I think their band is called "Future Cuts" and their genre interpretation of the theme was "Dance". (Pity - I remember when all those interpretations used to be rap..).

As promised, Johnny Depp is returning to our end of the premiere to sign autographs. Or, in this case, possibly take requests for not quite anonymous kidnap ransom demands.

As promised, Johnny Depp is returning to our end of the premiere to sign autographs. Or, in this case, possibly take requests for not quite anonymous kidnap ransom demands.

"It sure sucks that facebook compresses these photos so much. The original looks much sharper. Try loading them on flickr and linking back to Redbubble from there". Thanks, Johnny Depp! I might just do that. Tomorrow, though, cause it's midnight here and the number of hours til I have to wake up to go to work is already scaring me.

"It sure sucks that facebook compresses these photos so much. The original looks much sharper. Try loading them on flickr and linking back to Redbubble from there". Thanks, Johnny Depp! I might just do that. Tomorrow, though, cause it's midnight here and the number of hours til I have to wake up to go to work is already scaring me.

"I'm signing a lot of what look like contracts here. I just want you to know I don't get out of bed for less than $20million and 15% of the gross". I think you can probably negotiate a smaller front end, but he's going to want a larger percentage...

"I'm signing a lot of what look like contracts here. I just want you to know I don't get out of bed for less than $20million and 15% of the gross". I think you can probably negotiate a smaller front end, but he's going to want a larger percentage...

"Call my agent. I do act in low-budget productions, but you're probably looking at me taking 80-85% of the gross". Dude... I'd take that.

"Call my agent. I do act in low-budget productions, but you're probably looking at me taking 80-85% of the gross". Dude... I'd take that.

So... that was slightly better than I'd anticipated. I'm still not quite there on getting a great photo of Johnny Depp, though. Obviously I'm putting it into the "Archive of Movie Premieres"

Until next time!

By the way, if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo (or facebook at premieresdotco) (or both!)