22 Jan 2013 - 'The Last Stand' Premiere

January 22nd, 2013.

I'd last photographed Arnold Schwarzenegger last year at "The Expendables2" and it had been some two years since the demise of my Pentax K10D coincided with the premiere of "Thor" where I'd first photographed the lovely Jamie Alexander. As for Johnny Knoxville, weirdly I've gone this far without having seen even a single movie in the Jackass Oeuvre.

But tonight it was the European premiere of "The Last Stand". I'd found a spot that lost its goodness after two hours of looking great, and it was about 1 degree celsius temperature-wise.... and I'd left my gloves at home.

But enough whining... here's how it went down!

It was a smaller premiere than is usual, and I decided not to even attempt getting into the fourth row of a public pen. Instead, I found a perch on a rise just off Leicester Square. In theory it was a fine spot, however the 2m high grill in front and to my left was going to be covered with black plastic AND the pen behind it would also be extended to the left to accommodate two rows of Paparazzi, one row on ladders. Argh. I can shoot around obstacles well enough, but shooting x-rays through people? Tricky. Possibly illegal.

It was a smaller premiere than is usual, and I decided not to even attempt getting into the fourth row of a public pen. Instead, I found a perch on a rise just off Leicester Square. In theory it was a fine spot, however the 2m high grill in front and to my left was going to be covered with black plastic AND the pen behind it would also be extended to the left to accommodate two rows of Paparazzi, one row on ladders. Argh. I can shoot around obstacles well enough, but shooting x-rays through people? Tricky. Possibly illegal.

The draw for spots in the Paparazzi pen takes place, after which it will become obvious that there are more photographers than space, and Joe Public will miss out - and the people to my left will be even worse off than I am. It hurts me that so few songs are sung about the bravery of crowds at these things.

The draw for spots in the Paparazzi pen takes place, after which it will become obvious that there are more photographers than space, and Joe Public will miss out - and the people to my left will be even worse off than I am. It hurts me that so few songs are sung about the bravery of crowds at these things.

All that said, eventually the stars turn up. And here's the first, a former politician from the sunny US state of California, now making his triumphant return to films and trying to explain that Terminator Salvation had nothing to do with him.

All that said, eventually the stars turn up. And here's the first, a former politician from the sunny US state of California, now making his triumphant return to films and trying to explain that Terminator Salvation had nothing to do with him.

"Stallone made HOW MANY Rocky movies???" Yeah, it's pretty incredible.

"Stallone made HOW MANY Rocky movies???" Yeah, it's pretty incredible.

Tries to figure out whether there might be scope for a Last Action Hero 2 now that he's back into making movies. I say he should lobby for a RE-RE-boot Total Recall. Last year's reboot sucked.

Tries to figure out whether there might be scope for a Last Action Hero 2 now that he's back into making movies. I say he should lobby for a RE-RE-boot Total Recall. Last year's reboot sucked.

"And to this day I have no idea how it ended up in my shoe. True story. Say... you guys weren't in the middle of anything important, were you?"

"And to this day I have no idea how it ended up in my shoe. True story. Say... you guys weren't in the middle of anything important, were you?"

"I'm sorry I can't look where you're pointing - there's a guy I might owe five dollars to..."

"I'm sorry I can't look where you're pointing - there's a guy I might owe five dollars to..."

So to summarise : having a Pentax K5 doesn't get you into the press pen by default, but wearing a PANDA HAT doesn't disqualify you? How does that work??

So to summarise : having a Pentax K5 doesn't get you into the press pen by default, but wearing a PANDA HAT doesn't disqualify you? How does that work??

The lovely Jaimie Alexander arrives, does some interviews and signs autographs in the further reaches of the crowd, then rushes in to the cinema, realising that her half-layer dress isn't going to be able to stave off hypothermia.

The lovely Jaimie Alexander arrives, does some interviews and signs autographs in the further reaches of the crowd, then rushes in to the cinema, realising that her half-layer dress isn't going to be able to stave off hypothermia.

Interestingly, Jaimie Alexander has a tattoo on the inside of her right arm, and in the absence of greater resolution on my camera, I'm hypothesising that it contains lyrical fragments from House of Pain's seminal work "Jump Around" (1992)

Interestingly, Jaimie Alexander has a tattoo on the inside of her right arm, and in the absence of greater resolution on my camera, I'm hypothesising that it contains lyrical fragments from House of Pain's seminal work "Jump Around" (1992)

Hopefully has that song pumping through his earpiece whenever he's not getting updates on Code9AlphaCharlies and stuff.

Hopefully has that song pumping through his earpiece whenever he's not getting updates on Code9AlphaCharlies and stuff.

A few minutes, several sips of hot coffee and the temporary addition of a jacket and Jaimie Alexander is ready to head out again. I'm wearing four layers more clothing than she is, and I am freezing. At this distance, I am also not chivalrous.

A few minutes, several sips of hot coffee and the temporary addition of a jacket and Jaimie Alexander is ready to head out again. I'm wearing four layers more clothing than she is, and I am freezing. At this distance, I am also not chivalrous.

"I'm not saying you're not a great actor Arnie, I'm just saying you were never going to convince them to make you Captain America in the Avengers Movie!"

"I'm not saying you're not a great actor Arnie, I'm just saying you were never going to convince them to make you Captain America in the Avengers Movie!"

No matter how classy and well-lit your pose in front of the press is, there's still no controlling whether some dude in the background to your left is sending texts rather than looking at your awesomeness.

No matter how classy and well-lit your pose in front of the press is, there's still no controlling whether some dude in the background to your left is sending texts rather than looking at your awesomeness.

Depressing box office of this film aside, I don't think I've seen an image that more effortlessly shows a love triangle in fuller bloom than this since the majority of the posters for the Twilight saga. (I think Arnie's doing a wonderful Edward Cullen...).

Depressing box office of this film aside, I don't think I've seen an image that more effortlessly shows a love triangle in fuller bloom than this since the majority of the posters for the Twilight saga. (I think Arnie's doing a wonderful Edward Cullen...).

"Thank you for training your cameras on me. Even though I suspect it's mostly because of the way the guy is whispering into the ear of the guy standing behind me. It's fine. I want to know, too"

"Thank you for training your cameras on me. Even though I suspect it's mostly because of the way the guy is whispering into the ear of the guy standing behind me. It's fine. I want to know, too"

"And not one of you guys brought anything from the movie TWINS for me to sign?"

"And not one of you guys brought anything from the movie TWINS for me to sign?"

A second return outside, and some more posing for an ungrateful press photography pen, two-thirds of whom had left after the group shot.

A second return outside, and some more posing for an ungrateful press photography pen, two-thirds of whom had left after the group shot.

I, needless to say, was glad I stayed.

I, needless to say, was glad I stayed.

I, needless to say, was VERY glad I stayed.

I, needless to say, was VERY glad I stayed.

Time to head back in briefly and try to raise that core body temperature again. (I was too far away to offer my jacket, people!)

Time to head back in briefly and try to raise that core body temperature again. (I was too far away to offer my jacket, people!)

Oh. Right. And Johnny Knoxville was still doing interviews. You keep answering those questions, good sir!

Oh. Right. And Johnny Knoxville was still doing interviews. You keep answering those questions, good sir!

"Now if these were incandescent lamps rather than LEDs, those bulbs would be putting out heat, and I wouldn't be losing all the feeling in 90% of my body right now. Yay, technology, huh?"

"Now if these were incandescent lamps rather than LEDs, those bulbs would be putting out heat, and I wouldn't be losing all the feeling in 90% of my body right now. Yay, technology, huh?"

"I don't care how cold you are, I just remembered you were in 'Thor' with Tom Hiddleston and you're not leaving until you tell me EVERYTHING without sparing a single detail. Go."

"I don't care how cold you are, I just remembered you were in 'Thor' with Tom Hiddleston and you're not leaving until you tell me EVERYTHING without sparing a single detail. Go."

Meanwhile, I have no idea who this is, but I felt the journal could use some variety. And colour. The dress is helping my camera's auotofocus. I kinda wish Arnie had worn something like this earlier in the evening - the tie alone just wasn't contrasty enough.

Meanwhile, I have no idea who this is, but I felt the journal could use some variety. And colour. The dress is helping my camera's auotofocus. I kinda wish Arnie had worn something like this earlier in the evening - the tie alone just wasn't contrasty enough.

So.. .that was another one. Spirits were high, and temperatures were low. Until next time, I'm putting it into "The Archive of Movie Premieres"

Until Next Time!