03 Dec - The 'Life of Pi' Premiere

December 3rd, 2012.

"Life of Pi" was a pretty major book release (so Major that even I read it!), selling some 7million copies and winning the Man Booker Prize in the UK. It's also meant to have been considered "un-filmable", but I suspect that's more a marketing thing. I have read the book, remember it fondly, and the trailer looks amazing. Oh, and there was a premiere. Here's how that went down:

Blue carpet. Flames. Low temperatures. If they're walking a tiger down the carpet for the publicity, I think it's going to be cranky.

This premiere was not carbon neutral. But screw it, I'll say it - we've passed the tipping point. I'm stockpiling Spam and learning to hunt with a crossbow. (Great setup, though)

This is one of the Access All Areas red carpet photographer. I should hate him more than life itself, but I have to concede he is pretty awesome. He even rocks baldness! I have a ways to go before I can make that claim.

The morning Metro advertised a 5pm start but for this premiere, but it ended up being 6pm (I care because it's December and it gets frikkin' cold). Fortunately, "Monsters Ate My Condo" really IS an addictive game, thinks Pretty Personal Assistant (or Premiere Co-Ordinator - I didn't strike up a conversation as she did seem quite distracted)

"OMG this is so much shorter than reading the novel".
AND it's got' pictures.

The first arrival is Rafe Spall, son of Timothy ('Wormtail' in Harry Potter) Spall, though with a decent role in this and "Prometheus" I might have to refer to Timothy Spall differently. And good news for the Angus Steak House, their numerous signs featured prominently in photos taken during the evening.

"No, I haven't read the book. But I play The Writer in the film, so it would seem redundant, no?"

"No, it's not a huge problem. But we're just worried that there aren't enough Angus Steak House signs for when Ang Lee gets here". Too late. He's here. No info on whether he likes steak.

We shared a moment, but I still prefer Kristen Stewart. He's Ang Lee's son. The woman to the right of him with the headband and vest, though? Is a fashion abomination.

"If you could just look away from the ugg boots, tight jeans and skinned echidna vest and lace headband I'm wearing, and just pose right here"
Who the hell lets these people out in public?

Ang Lee directed Sense & Sensibility, The Hulk, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and Brokeback Mountain. And now Life of Pi. You Gotta applaud the commitment to diversity in that list! (Please note that I'm not advocating applause for The Hulk, just 'diversity' in general)

"I would like to scan you three-dimensionally and use you as a special effect for my next monster movie". I personally wouldn't watch that movie, but I probably would go to the premiere.

"Do I regret turning down an offer to direct Terminator3? Baby, didn't you SEE The Hulk?" I think it's a mixed blessing on both counts for both franchises, but I really DO need to see Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon again. And/or Sense & Sensibility for the first time.

Random celeb arrival Stephen Fry looks vaguely demonic for a moment.....

....but can't not revert to regular levels of awesomeness.

I have no idea who this is, but I heard she's a fashion reporter. I am also... sometimes... a fashion reporter. (Hey, I commented on what the freaky lady with the echidna vest was wearing)

Speaking of which : it's Twiggy! (she was a model) (she's the one on the right)

Suraj Sharma makes his film debut in 'Life of Pi'. I've read the book. I can't remember if the main character's hair is quite _this_ amazing but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

I don't know who this is, but with the white balance on the Pentax screaming with all the Angus Steak House and Pret A Manger signs, I really do like the superviolet coloured dress she's wearing.

Ang Lee, standing in the DARK part of the premiere.

"Hurry up! I must leave before Tom Hiddleston arrives and steals the limelight". He may be the director of this film, but he's got a valid point.

The Man. The Myth. I call it : The Inevitability Of Hiddleston.

One Frame Later. (It does 5 frames per second)

"You? You're awesome. Tom Hiddleston? More so. My hair? Very slightly less so. Goodbye."

"Why is everyone vacating the carpet? Was it something I said?"

And one more of Tom Hiddleston. Just because.

So... chalk up another. Two more this year, and I'm done! (The Archive of Movie Premieres can take a slight breather as I return to Australia for a brief holiday)

Until next time!

By the way, if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieresdotco.

19 Apr - Marvel's 'Avengers' European Premiere

April 19th, 2012.

Ah... the Avengers. I'm not a fan of comic books generically (my geeky nature never swung that way), but as a fan of hype and spectacle I am...not unaware of the fact that movies for Iron Man, The Hulk, Thor, etc exist, with the end aim of setting up a hypergiant film combining the various properties. And some of them were good, some of them were bad, but this one? Looks pretty epic.

How epic? Let's just say I took a day off work for this one, got up at 4am and was on the first Tube to Westfields Shepherds Bush. Obsessed? Not so much.. though the fact that Scarlett Johansson was meant to attend might have had more than a little to do with all that.

How did it go down? Was it worth it? Well.. let's just say 2,300 photos were taken.

It's a premiere, and I've taken the day off. I joined the queue outside Westfield Shepherds Bush around 6:15am, but they let us in around an hour later. This was my vantagepoint as at 8:00am (two rows back, but the girls in front of me are short).

I'd previously been here on the left from 7:30am, but things changed so I had to move. So.. 2hrs down, 9 to go, huh?

But... even with the movie trailer on insta-repeat, at least there were people making things interesting as we counted down the hours. (8..... 7..... 6...... 5...... 4..... 3. ... those are some long hours)

Eventually the venue filled up..... this was what it was like with only about two hours to go!!
(note : I'd had lunch and a few toilet breaks)

“Please GET EXCITED!!!! But not too excited, there's still at least an hour to go. Shall we watch the movie's trailer sixteen or seventeen more times?” Oh, please. Let's

"So do you have trouble getting into and out of taxis with that thing?"
With about 2 hours to go, it was a standing crush until 5:30pm…. when they started with a dressup competition. Which not many premieres do.

"Okay, I'm back"
Ultimately the linear nature of how we perceive time meat that inevitably, all the waiting (and watching the 2.5 minute trailer every five minutes for about 11 hours) was over, and we were under way..

Just want to point out : left home at 4am.. the time is now 6pm. And I am still, despite my half-hearted efforts over the years, single.

The giant mural opens up at Iron Man's hands ….. and dispenses stars one by one to the cheers of the waiting crowd. And first to arrive, Chris Hemsworth, who plays Thor

"I briefly rocked a ponytail like that, but my wife couldn't stop laughing for a week. Then she divorced me".

Chris Hemsworth's wife is heavily pregnant, my keen knowledge of the female anatomy tells me, .... and my choice of crop somewhat obscures.

"Hello future loyal slaves!!" Here is your lord and liberator, Tom Hiddleston, aka Loki, the Norse God of Mischief, the main antagonist of the film.

Loki says : "My armies will be destroying a city near you soon"

Actor Tom Hiddleston isn't really the most naturally evil-looking person in the world. But he is a good actor. And apparently good reader of erotic poetry. I have been told.

Still on the subject of peace and/or gang signs... is Mark Ruffalo, who is neither Eric Bana … nor Ed Norton … nor entirely Computer Graphics, as The Hulk / Bruce Banner.

"You're funny and you're short and you smell funny and your hair looks weird. So…. are you getting angry yet? Because if you turn into The Hulk and trash the place, the fans will love it!".

And then Robert Downey Jnr showed up....

..... in his usual restrained way.
(Did he get the biggest cheer of the night? Hm... maybe Thor and Loki got slightly more, but we're talking minor degrees of comparative deafness here)

"Hey, it's me! Looking good".
Something tells me that Robert Downey Jnr doesn't find it a stretch playing billionaire playboy Tony Stark.

"Kids, be like this guy - build your own weaponised battle suit. The US Government totally won't mind. Also, stay in school and don't do drugs"

Next up, Clark Gregg, who has played Agent Phil Coulson in about four of the feeder films for the Avengers franchise.

Most of the nearby ladiez were saying something about Sex in the City, but I wasn't listening.

Clark Gregg is apparently married to Jennifer Grey of "Dirty Dancing" fame?? (I was listening..)

It's Jeremy Renner! And he wishes you a pleasant day.

If this look is "Magnum" or "Blue Steel", then it must be either Derek Zoolander; or Jeremy Renner who plays Hawkeye in the film.

"Jeremy Renner jus' gonna slide ovah heah if y'all wanna see..?"

"Okay, then. Maybe Jeremy will just stand here until somebody pays attention, yeah?"
In a very crowded public arena, it seems Jeremy Renner and I are sharing quite a private moment.

But this was all well and good... I like Chris, Tom, Mark, Robert, Clark and Jeremy as much as the next guy (possibly less). What this premiere needed (with all due respect to Elsa Pataki and Jennifer Grey) was a Y-chromosome....

And then.... Scarlett Johansson showed up, making me (a) very happy that (b) my camera has 7 frames per second and ( c) a nice long telephoto zoom and (d) that I was here for this.

That high-contrast LED background does dangerously attract/distract the Pentax's autofocus, but on the subject of "Must Get Good Photo Of Scarlett Johansson At All Costs So Long As That’s Not A Creepy Thing To Say" we're off to a promising start.

Host says : "I.... I have nothing. Please marry me".
(Hey, no fair. That was TOTALLY going to be my line!)

"She's been doing that mannequin pose for 15 minutes now, isn't she great? Give her a round of applause everybody!"

Well… Hi.
Also, on a separate note, it now makes director Chris Nolan the new person I now rank #1 on my list of People I Really Want To Photograph That I Haven't Yet. Scarlett Johansson has occupied the #1 spot since 2008 after I photographed Charlize Theron at my very first London Premiere for "Hancock".

So, as Ms Johansson winds her way along the crowd towards the obscured-from-my-vantagepoint paparazzi pen, the impossibly awesomely named "Cobie Smulders" who plays agent Maria Hill in the film arrives on the main stage (psstt.... she's also on the mural on the left)

Meanwhile, Scarlett Johansson has moved into our area and the crush of people pushing forward might put wildebeest stampedes to shame. In other words, this is not as close as I generally want to be when taking photos. (when being around Scarlett Johansson, yes. When taking photos, no)

I, meanwhile, may have found my favourite photo of about 70 taken at 7fps. I won't bore you with the full sequence yet. I call this photo "Scarlett" and I've got an 18x12 inch enlargement, framed, at home. If you know a way I can get it signed (by Scarlett Johansson, preferably) please let me know... I doubt my abilities at a regular premiere (1 attempt, 1 failure)

"Many people say you should add milk for consistency, but that's both a mistake and mainly to do with omelettes. Where were we?" Kevin Feige was one of NINE producers on this film I have no idea what that means.

Meanwhile... I have only some idea what this means, but only if I discount the expression on the face of the guy on the right.

"Your Hair Looks Stupid"
"YOUR Hair Looks MORE Stupid"
"I'm telling our Dad on you"
On-screen brothers Loki and Thor meet in front of the press pen. Punches are not thrown. (Actually they seem like good friends)

"But what he doesn't know is that I AM his Dad (sort of, depending on where you are in the Marvel CInematic Canon) (also, I have a time machine, that's how I know stuff about Thor 2 The Dark World that I couldn't, yet)

Jeremy Renner was in Mission Impossible 4 and will starring in the upcoming fourth Bourne film. The smooth-jazz career may remain on hold for longer...

At this point in the proceedings our new compere arrives (what was wrong with the old compere? He was funny.. although he was kind of swooning over Scarlett Johansson)

Our NEW compere Jonathan Ross is big enough in the field of entertainment that each of the actors are called back on stage to be interviewed briefly. I should probably check my batteries and card to see whether they can sustain much more of this.

"Chris' wife is pregnant and due any day now, which means they had intercourse". Yeah, and unlike my unsanctioned comments for the rest of the journal... Jonathan Ross actually said this! (Chris took it well - the laughing shots are a couple of frames later after Ross finished talking)

Jonathan Ross: "I ... will you marry me? I know, I know, I'm already married and my wife is quite wealthy, but I think between the three of us we could make it work. Take this discussion off-stage? Sure..."

One last Johansson photo. Pretty. So very pretty. 11 hours of waiting and a day of annual leave taken to do so. Worth it? Once I get full mobility in my legs and back again after the crush, probably!!

The Avengers Assemble on the stage as a group. Okay, Fine... I'll watch the movie. 11 hours of that trailer will eventually wear a man down anyway. Premiere? Over. 1.5hr trip home to start editing photos for 4 or so hours? Just beginning.

STOP CHATTING UP MY GIRL, HIDDLESTON...

So....

That was insane. Would I do it again? Maybe. Would I do it for any other film? Maybe not immediately.

Still, it was worth it as premiere photography goes. The full set of shots turned out pretty good and this journal could have been a LOT longer.

And it's definitely one for the "Archive of Movie Premieres"

Until next time!

And if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals (which I can almost fully guarantee will be considerably smaller than this gargantuan one!), feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo, or on facebook at premieresdotco.

8 Jan - The 'War Horse' Royal Premiere

January 8th, 2012.

So to bring you quickly up to speed : after 40 hours either on a plane or transiting through Tokyo, within 24 hours of landing in London, I had my first premiere for the new year. And not just a premiere, but a ROYAL premiere. And not just a ROYAL premiere, but a *FREAKING STEVEN SPIELBERG* Royal Premiere.

With a Horse.

No pressure, in other words : here's how it went down.

Guy next to me says: "Do I want Steven Spielberg to sign this? What, and ruin it? Hell no, I just want him to look at it and say it's cool. That way I can tell all visitors to my home "Hey, Steven Spielberg thinks this looks cool" " I might be making this up. I'm kind of jet-lagged.

Texts:"At first glance it's a film called "War Ho" or something. I can't imagine Spielberg doing movies in that genre, but we'll see. Anyway, gotta go"

If ever there was a premiere where you could get fired if the lighting isn't exactly perfect, you'd think this one would be it.

The buildup continues. There are a lot of people. My spot is okay given the alternatives, but not brilliant compared to being allowed free rein of the place. Meanwhile, a young reporter opposite me provides eye-contact, and I feel kinda vulnerable.

Author Michael Morpurgo wrote the book the film is based on. The beret is awesome, too.  I have writing ambitions, but I don't have a beret. Note to self : must get beret.

The horse (possibly called 'Joey') who plays 'Joey' (also a horse) in the film was specially brought to the premiere, and was very well behaved.

NOW THIS? Is a LIST. I'm here for the guy on the top left. Weirdly, I don't see the horse anywhere on either page.

"Working with Benedict Cumberbatch? No comment. None at all".

IT'S STEVEN SPIELBERG. It's by no means a good shot, but even right now, it would almost literally take Charlize Theron MAKING OUT with Scarlett Johansson to depose this man as Photo For The Day (and it's unlikely, since neither are in the movie)

"Don't leave me hanging, bro. I don't care who you are. You don't DO that"

Young Director. Couple of films under his belt. Could do quite well for himself in years to come....
Okay, fine, cue my childlike excitement : Director Steven Spielberg has arrived!!!!

Woo! Spielberg! He seemed very nice and friendly. I don't think he high-fived that dude, though. It's all in the timing, I think, as I start rehearsing my ten second movie-pitch to The Master. (no, I'm not telling you what it's about, if I even have one!)

Jeremy Irvine and Steven Spielberg : Director and main star converse. Something about a dicey real estate scheme? Who knows...

"Oh, no. Isn't there meant to be some guy who I owe five dollars to at this premiere? I totally forgot. I wonder if my autograph might satisfactorily discharge that alleged debt?". Yes, yes it *absolutely* would.

"You bought Amistad on VCR for me to autograph? F*&% yeah, I'll sign!" (to be fair, I'm not actually claiming this happened, or that Mr Spielberg swears, or that I was less than insanely jetlagged. But ten minutes later, somebody looking exactly like this guy signed an autograph for me and I think it was him!)

One of these three ploughs through barbed wire in the film. I'll give you a tip : it's not the director or the actor.

I kinda wish the Pentax had an autofocus setting that says 'focus on nobody but who I specify, ie. not anyone but Spielberg'.

"Waddaya mean, George Lucas has finalised a script for the fifth Indiana Jones move and is starting shooting without consulting me on the story.... again? Are you sure? Can we stop him with snipers if necessary? Well, do it!" Damn straight.

Emily Watson is not the girl from the Harry Potter movies, all grown up so soon. No, EMILY Waston has been in a heap of movies I haven't watched. Well... other than this one.

Not a random passerby shot by any means. This is producer Kathleen Kennedy, who has basically produced every Spielberg movie ever, plus pretty much everything else big in Hollywood since Back to the Future. (I exaggerate, but not much). Besides Mr Spielberg himself, if you (or I) were going to pitch a movie idea to anyone at this premiere, it would be her. I clutch my draft script for teen vampire romance with, like seriously, almost NOTHING in common with TWILIGHT very tightly...

Meanwhile, Michael Morpurgo's beret continues its plan to take over the world. If successful, Michael Morpurgo's scarf will be given administrative control over Australia.

Steven Spielberg has entered 'our' area, and is SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS!!

He may or may not also be getting a whole heap of very very rapidly delivered script treatments. This expression, I think, means that he's not entirely dismissing my idea for a teen vampire romance with werewolves, but, like seriously, almost NOTHING in common with Twilight. Wait, really? Well, my people will STILL contact your people, yes? Needless to say, I got the autograph FIRST, then pitched the screenplay.

"'ET2'? No, and stop asking. 'A.I.2'? Hayley Joel Osment is, like, forty by now. 'Jurassic Park IV'? Already working on THAT so back off. 'Jaws V'? No chance. 'Indy V'? Only if the flying monkeys I've sent after George fail in their task. 'Catch me if you Can II'? I barely remember that film. Keep 'em coming, people..."

Just in case you thought this premiere couldn't be more awesome, Tom Hiddleston and Tom Hiddleston's lustrous hair just showed up!!

Ah, yes. The matter of the five dollars one of us owes the other...

Benedict Cumberbatch! You may remember him from.... from.... from.... the premiere of 'Creation'? No.. .too obscure. This movie? Well... no, you haven't seen it yet. So......?"

Ah, yes. The TV Series 'Sherlock'. But I haven't seen that yet.

Fine. One more shot of Loki for the connoisseurs out there 8)

There was a stage in the far, far distance. Fortunately indeed I opted against the small fan enclave near it, because basically none of the *major* cast or crew (or horse) were interviewed on it or near it. (Whew!)

Richard Curtis is normally a director ('Love Actually', 'The Boat That Rocked') - but he wrote the screenplay for this  film (and 'Notting Hill', among other things). Still, gives you an idea of the kind of pull Spielberg has. The Wachowski brothers might even be runners on the set of a Spielberg movie if he wants them to.

Not sure. One of the little kids from Harry Potter, now aged in his mid/late twenties?

David Thewlis, aka Professor Lupin in Harry Potter, stops to sign briefly. Sorry about the weird tint on this one. Orange ambient lighting and a lot of mobile phone and point-and-shoot flashes from the crowd can make things difficult. (No I'm not complaining!)

"War of the Worlds 2"? Nah, we already won pretty decisively. "The Terminal 2?" I don't really even remember the movie. "Duel 2"? Fast and the Furious pretty much covered it. "Close Encounters of the SIXTH KIND"? I don't even want to know what kind of closeness we'd be talking about. "1941-II"? Wow, really? Still, keep 'em coming... I can reject about eight of these per minute..."

Eddie Marson plays Inspector Lastrade in Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes. Oh, and he's in War Horse.

Actor Jeremy Irvine is the lead in this film and he's actually never been in a movie before. That's a pretty seriously cool director to be able to put on your resume. And here's his 'Check Out How Cool I Am' pose. (Damn. That's pretty cool.)

Apparently cast him in spite of his 'Check Out How Cool I Am' pose.

All the stars have gone inside and it has started to rain. Time to go home? No… not yet. But things start getting a lot less good photographically from here. And did I mention this was a Royal Premiere? Well, it is.

"Spielberg not only signed it, but he breathed on it. Quick...how do you spell 'ebay'??"

Devastation. Unbeknownst to me until I got home, my manually prefocussed lens had been bumped by an umbrella put up by fans who couldn’t hack a bit of rain. Gah!!!

To even partially and improperly improve this unsalvagable shot, I had to roll out The Photoshop Filter Of Last Resort. GAH!!!

In every frame before this, the umbrella blocked the view. In every frame from this one on, His Royal Highness has chosen to hold the umbrella handle in such a way as to block Her Royal Highness' face. GAH!!!!!!!

"So anyway, why not keep the delightful discussion we're having right in front of your husband going so you don't have to look at the crowd, shall we?" I say again : *GAHHH!!!!!!*

"No... sadly while one does have two tickets to the film, one will be taking one's wife to see it I'm afraid"

And? It's time to go home.

(pause for effect)

But I got Spielberg!!

So, basically, it's a pretty damn good day when you get a photo of Steven Spielberg. It means that if I go through the list of my favourite directors of all time, I can now say I have actually photographed James Cameron at Avatar,  and Peter Jackson at The Lovely Bones, as well as J J Abrams at Star Trek, and of course Quentin Tarantino at Inglourius Basterds.... and possibly Zack Snyder if I can ever forgive Sucker Punch by remembering how awesome 300, Dawn of the Dead or Watchmen were (Me, 2014 : I've seen Man of Steel, so... No).

To summarise: It's a pretty cool thing to be able to do by mere virtue of me having time, and a camera, and sufficient motivation to go to these things. Is it time to pack up this craze and find something else, though?

Erm... no. Ridley Scott? The Wachowskis? Sofia Coppola? Robert Zemeckis? Clint Eastwood Without A Cappuchino Sign behind his head? Some dude called CHRIS NOLAN? .... They're all on my 'To-Do' list. (As for George Lucas, dude.... I'm afraid your strike rate is just too damn low). (But you know I would!).

Anyway, a big win for "The Archive of Movie Premieres"

Until next time!

And if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo, or on facebook at premieresdotco.