16 May - The 'Men In Black 3' Premiere

May 16th, 2012.

Luck can be a funny thing. I got to this premiere and was quickly marched into a position in a public pen that was so bad that I decided to bail and stand by the roadside instead.

Then I attempted to find a space in a pen that looked fantastic, but was kicked out because they were keeping it one deep... until they later made it FOUR deep and filled it with people who arrived after I did!

So I found another spot, side on the Entry Plinth, facing the media where stars stand with their backs to me when posing (ugh) and perpendicular to me when the giant stage (ugh). In other words, with about 3 hours to go before the start, I was already screwed and there were people in pubs and cinema doorways who had better spots.

Life sucked.

And then.... weirdly.... it ended up not sucking.

Here's how it went down.... or UP.

Sadly, we learned very early on in the queueing that Tommy Lee Jones would not be attending. Wow... you mean now I wouldn't even be able to photograph the back of his head? Devastating.

Sadly, we learned very early on in the queueing that Tommy Lee Jones would not be attending. Wow... you mean now I wouldn't even be able to photograph the back of his head? Devastating.

Whenever I plug into the Matrix to escape the drudgery of the desert of the real, the guy with the hair and the sunglasses is totally my residual self-image.

Whenever I plug into the Matrix to escape the drudgery of the desert of the real, the guy with the hair and the sunglasses is totally my residual self-image.

They had dancing girls and an archway for arrivals to step over (and a blue carpet and a stage twice that size that they'd be interviewed on later). And I'd only have to shoot around people with mobile phones (and in one case, an IPAD) to take photos of it. That said,  though I hate Pitbull's music on principle, his theme song for this movie is irritatingly catchy.

They had dancing girls and an archway for arrivals to step over (and a blue carpet and a stage twice that size that they'd be interviewed on later). And I'd only have to shoot around people with mobile phones (and in one case, an IPAD) to take photos of it. That said,  though I hate Pitbull's music on principle, his theme song for this movie is irritatingly catchy.

It's our first arrival! Barry Sonnenfeld's directing career includes two prior Men In Black Films, two prior Addams Family films and, erm.... Wild Wild West. Sharp suit, though. Very, very  sharp. It's got one of those tissues in the pocket and everything.

It's our first arrival! Barry Sonnenfeld's directing career includes two prior Men In Black Films, two prior Addams Family films and, erm.... Wild Wild West. Sharp suit, though. Very, very  sharp. It's got one of those tissues in the pocket and everything.

Formula1 McLaren driver Lewis Hamilton shows up - his girlfriend, Singer Nicole Scherzinger is in this film. (I should probably put that the other way around...)

Formula1 McLaren driver Lewis Hamilton shows up - his girlfriend, Singer Nicole Scherzinger is in this film. (I should probably put that the other way around...)

(So, to clarify) Singer/Actress Nicole Scherzinger shows up (she's in this film). Her boyfriend is a car driver, I'm told. (incidentally, by this time I figured out that I'm not going to be able to shoot through all the hands, phones, cameras and in one case an IPAD that go up for each arrival - my autofocus is twitching like it's spent a week watching hyperkinetic Japanese anime. The secret : prefocus. Hold steady. Pray.)

(So, to clarify) Singer/Actress Nicole Scherzinger shows up (she's in this film). Her boyfriend is a car driver, I'm told. (incidentally, by this time I figured out that I'm not going to be able to shoot through all the hands, phones, cameras and in one case an IPAD that go up for each arrival - my autofocus is twitching like it's spent a week watching hyperkinetic Japanese anime. The secret : prefocus. Hold steady. Pray.)

Actress Alice Eve plays the enigmatically named "Young Agent O" in the film. She's been in a few movies I either haven't heard of or seen (they made a 'Sex in the City 2'??) , but she was Vinnie Chase's final girlfriend in the TV series "Entourage". And that IS cool.

Actress Alice Eve plays the enigmatically named "Young Agent O" in the film. She's been in a few movies I either haven't heard of or seen (they made a 'Sex in the City 2'??) , but she was Vinnie Chase's final girlfriend in the TV series "Entourage". And that IS cool.

It' WILL SMITH!! Will Smith is both awesome and present. In about ten minutes time, he and I are going to high-five and I will briefly be cooler than almost everyone I know. (But not cooler than Will Smith. Obviously)

It' WILL SMITH!! Will Smith is both awesome and present. In about ten minutes time, he and I are going to high-five and I will briefly be cooler than almost everyone I know. (But not cooler than Will Smith. Obviously)

"So, am I allowed to talk about Wild Wild West or may I say for a second time that your tie is fantastic and your suit is very, VERY sharp?" If I had to be polite, I'd say half the Men in Black films so far have been good, and I remember the MC Hammer theme to the Addams Family Values very fondly

"So, am I allowed to talk about Wild Wild West or may I say for a second time that your tie is fantastic and your suit is very, VERY sharp?" If I had to be polite, I'd say half the Men in Black films so far have been good, and I remember the MC Hammer theme to the Addams Family Values very fondly

Nicole Scherzinger is wearing a dress that would have seemed excessively modest at the Snow White And The Huntsman premiere a few days ago, but here is looking totally crazy. (to be fair, I haven't fully seen what Josh Brolin is wearing).

Nicole Scherzinger is wearing a dress that would have seemed excessively modest at the Snow White And The Huntsman premiere a few days ago, but here is looking totally crazy. (to be fair, I haven't fully seen what Josh Brolin is wearing).

"Who am I wearing? I'm sorry, I don't understand the question. I believe these are mostly artificial fibres" Alice Eve, meanwhile, is part of the cast for the upcoming JJ Abrams Star Trek Sequel (Woo!!!)

"Who am I wearing? I'm sorry, I don't understand the question. I believe these are mostly artificial fibres" Alice Eve, meanwhile, is part of the cast for the upcoming JJ Abrams Star Trek Sequel (Woo!!!)

Me, from the Crowd : "I'm just going to head over to Burger King. Anybody want anything like a coke or something?"

Me, from the Crowd : "I'm just going to head over to Burger King. Anybody want anything like a coke or something?"

"One high-five per person, or one photo, or one autograph. Make your choices people" Obviously I'm making that quote up, Will Smith would never make you choose like that, of course. I got an autograph AND a high five today.

"One high-five per person, or one photo, or one autograph. Make your choices people" Obviously I'm making that quote up, Will Smith would never make you choose like that, of course. I got an autograph AND a high five today.

"Some people say my performance as young Tommy Lee Jones is uncanny. I just wanna say he does a pretty good Josh Brolin, too"

"Some people say my performance as young Tommy Lee Jones is uncanny. I just wanna say he does a pretty good Josh Brolin, too"

"Claw to the Face or Autograph. I'll give you guys a few minutes to decide" Emma Thompson : also very, very cool.

"Claw to the Face or Autograph. I'll give you guys a few minutes to decide" Emma Thompson : also very, very cool.

Josh Brolin has an Oscar nomination to his credit, and also appears to almost chameleon-like blend effortlessly into any film type or genre, from the George W Bush film 'W' to True Grit to Wall Street 2 to No Country for Old Men and Milk. And he was in Jonah Hex with Megan Fox. But we don't talk about that.

Josh Brolin has an Oscar nomination to his credit, and also appears to almost chameleon-like blend effortlessly into any film type or genre, from the George W Bush film 'W' to True Grit to Wall Street 2 to No Country for Old Men and Milk. And he was in Jonah Hex with Megan Fox. But we don't talk about that.

"Seriously, the air-nose-flute is one of the hardest air-instruments to play. Air guitar? .. mastered that at AGE NINE" Whether Mr Smith would one day autograph this photo if I were to present it to him is uncertain, but I'd still say yes. Because he's THAT cool (and THAT'S why I wouldn't ask him to)

"Seriously, the air-nose-flute is one of the hardest air-instruments to play. Air guitar? .. mastered that at AGE NINE" Whether Mr Smith would one day autograph this photo if I were to present it to him is uncertain, but I'd still say yes. Because he's THAT cool (and THAT'S why I wouldn't ask him to)

On a more factual note, I filled a 16GB SD card at this premiere (just like I did at Snow White and the Huntsman a mere two days ago - but here it wasn't due to the presence Charlize Theron and Kristen Stewart, it was the TV-like fine lines on Will Smith's immaculate suit which seemingly required insane levels of megapixels to capture.

On a more factual note, I filled a 16GB SD card at this premiere (just like I did at Snow White and the Huntsman a mere two days ago - but here it wasn't due to the presence Charlize Theron and Kristen Stewart, it was the TV-like fine lines on Will Smith's immaculate suit which seemingly required insane levels of megapixels to capture.

There is a theory in romance that when the moment is right and neither of you have said anything for a little while, you can break the silence with the phrase *"I think we should kiss"*. I think Will Smith would totally go for that, but you gotta mean it, otherwise forget it.

There is a theory in romance that when the moment is right and neither of you have said anything for a little while, you can break the silence with the phrase *"I think we should kiss"*. I think Will Smith would totally go for that, but you gotta mean it, otherwise forget it.

I have no idea who this is, but he caused momentary excitement when everything else was happening on stage or at the interview stations. I just hope it's not Gary Oldman... he can't have filled in that quickly. What if Chris Nolan needs Batman reshoots??

I have no idea who this is, but he caused momentary excitement when everything else was happening on stage or at the interview stations. I just hope it's not Gary Oldman... he can't have filled in that quickly. What if Chris Nolan needs Batman reshoots??

Emma Thompson is pretty confident that if you give her two pens she can sign everyone in half the time.

Emma Thompson is pretty confident that if you give her two pens she can sign everyone in half the time.

"What about the guy you owe $5 to and whose journal you elected NOT to sign?". I wonder who that poor unfortunate fool was....

"What about the guy you owe $5 to and whose journal you elected NOT to sign?". I wonder who that poor unfortunate fool was....

The temptation is always to solely post images of the awesome Emma Thompson providing fantastically hilarious faces. But I feel this journal needs at least one photo to remind ourselves that she's also very pretty. ... and now I'll go back to looking for more amusing shots.

The temptation is always to solely post images of the awesome Emma Thompson providing fantastically hilarious faces. But I feel this journal needs at least one photo to remind ourselves that she's also very pretty. ... and now I'll go back to looking for more amusing shots.

but first... randomly, because this premiere apparently hadn't *quite* gotten awesome enough, Jay-Z (and his slightly angry looking security dude) showed up.

but first... randomly, because this premiere apparently hadn't *quite* gotten awesome enough, Jay-Z (and his slightly angry looking security dude) showed up.

WOOHOO!!! They really need to do this at EVERY premiere at the Odeon Leicester Square : get the cast on the balcony! (They only very rarely do) (Meanwhile, I need to switch SD cards because my 16GB one is FULL)

WOOHOO!!! They really need to do this at EVERY premiere at the Odeon Leicester Square : get the cast on the balcony! (They only very rarely do) (Meanwhile, I need to switch SD cards because my 16GB one is FULL)

Nicole S, Emma T, Will Smith, Alice E and Josh B hang and chill on the Odeon Balcony. This is the part where I have to admit.... had I not been cruelly evicted from my preferred spot in my original pen, I would not have had a view of the balcony AND all the interviews on the giant stage would have been side on instead of (weirdly) facing me. Luck works in mysterious ways.

Nicole S, Emma T, Will Smith, Alice E and Josh B hang and chill on the Odeon Balcony. This is the part where I have to admit.... had I not been cruelly evicted from my preferred spot in my original pen, I would not have had a view of the balcony AND all the interviews on the giant stage would have been side on instead of (weirdly) facing me. Luck works in mysterious ways.

Hashtag : Awesomeness.

Hashtag : Awesomeness.

"She's been like this for three minutes. Should we say something to someone?"

"She's been like this for three minutes. Should we say something to someone?"

So.... that was a rather remarkable premiere. It TOTALLY joins "The Archive of Movie Premieres" the last few of which were:

Snow White and the Huntsman - Theron! Stewart! Hemsworth!
The Dictator - General Admiral Aladeen of Wadiya!
Dark Shadows - Depp! Burton! Bonham Carter! Pfeiffer! etc!
Safe - Jason! Statham!
African Cats - The Directors! Will & Kate!
The AVENGERS - Downey Jnr! Johansson! Hiddleston! Hemsworth!

Until Next Time!

By the way, if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieresdotco.