20 Mar - The 'Wild Bill' Premiere

Well, after the massive behemoth that was the "Hunger Games Premiere" last week (or maybe it was just massive because the autograph dealer scum were even more like animals than usual), this week brings a smaller, more intimate, almost civilised premiere for the English movie Wild Bill.

They closed down one lane of traffic on a busy street to give pedestrians a way past and had both the crowd AND the carpet on the one wide footpath, but it wasn't bad at all. Here's how it went down:

It's not exactly a giant truck dispensing carpet and barriers, and workmen putting up lighting rigs and audio equipment while security roam around... but it is a premiere, and that's what matters.

It's not exactly a giant truck dispensing carpet and barriers, and workmen putting up lighting rigs and audio equipment while security roam around... but it is a premiere, and that's what matters.

Hey- I've always wanted one of those! (I'll leave it to you to decide whether I'm referring to (a) a girl in my life who can handle a DSLR with aplomb, or (b) merely one of those LED-lighting-hotshoe thingies)

Hey- I've always wanted one of those! (I'll leave it to you to decide whether I'm referring to (a) a girl in my life who can handle a DSLR with aplomb, or (b) merely one of those LED-lighting-hotshoe thingies)

As little as two premieres ago I was still asking the question "Who is Dexter Fletcher and why is he always at premieres for films he's not involved in?" but in this instance he's actually the director of This Very Film. Well done, sir!

As little as two premieres ago I was still asking the question "Who is Dexter Fletcher and why is he always at premieres for films he's not involved in?" but in this instance he's actually the director of This Very Film. Well done, sir!

Actor Will Poulter played a little kid in the third Narnia Film (released 2010) which kind of means he's grown about 50cm a year since then (?).

Actor Will Poulter played a little kid in the third Narnia Film (released 2010) which kind of means he's grown about 50cm a year since then (?).

"You're willing to do my taxes for 2011/12 right here and now? Okay... just a second!"

"You're willing to do my taxes for 2011/12 right here and now? Okay... just a second!"

"Hey, you're that guy I owe five dollars to! I've got it right here, buddy". Nobody has ever, ever said this to me... but I'd like to think Will Poulter would.

"Hey, you're that guy I owe five dollars to! I've got it right here, buddy". Nobody has ever, ever said this to me... but I'd like to think Will Poulter would.

"OMG - you're that guy from that thing!" "Dude, I DIRECTED you in that thing. Also? Sssshh : can't you see I'm doing my taxes?"

"OMG - you're that guy from that thing!"
"Dude, I DIRECTED you in that thing. Also? Sssshh : can't you see I'm doing my taxes?"

I didn't see, but maybe not everyone gives stars photos or DVD covers or autograph books to sign?

I didn't see, but maybe not everyone gives stars photos or DVD covers or autograph books to sign?

It's .... it's... well prior to this I'd have said only Johnny Depp would generally show up wearing a hat like this to a premiere, so I can only assume it's the lead actor ("Bill" in "Wild Bill") - Charlie Creed-Miles.

It's .... it's... well prior to this I'd have said only Johnny Depp would generally show up wearing a hat like this to a premiere, so I can only assume it's the lead actor ("Bill" in "Wild Bill") - Charlie Creed-Miles.

OMG - Charlie Creed-Miles played "David" - the priest's young sidekick in The Fifth Element, according to imdb. Freaky - I just (re)watched that movie!

OMG - Charlie Creed-Miles played "David" - the priest's young sidekick in The Fifth Element, according to imdb. Freaky - I just (re)watched that movie!

"Right, so adding my deductions for foreign tax imputation that would mean... hold on, I might need to call my financial advisor for some of this stuff"

"Right, so adding my deductions for foreign tax imputation that would mean... hold on, I might need to call my financial advisor for some of this stuff"

This is appears to be Liz White, who looks nothing like the Liz White who was at the premiere of "The Lady In Black" with Daniel Radcliffe but I'm assured she's the same one.

This is appears to be Liz White, who looks nothing like the Liz White who was at the premiere of "The Lady In Black" with Daniel Radcliffe but I'm assured she's the same one.

"Really? You can get tax credits for that WITHOUT having support documentation to prove it? - awesome!!" Actor Leo Gregory has been in a lot of movies I haven't heard of, plus some additional ones I haven't seen. But his tie is *exquisite*

"Really? You can get tax credits for that WITHOUT having support documentation to prove it? - awesome!!" Actor Leo Gregory has been in a lot of movies I haven't heard of, plus some additional ones I haven't seen. But his tie is *exquisite*

Meanwhile Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson showed up and was actually smiling for a bit! (Big thanks to my lens and that paparazzi flash for it's beautiful flare on this shot!)

Meanwhile Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson showed up and was actually smiling for a bit! (Big thanks to my lens and that paparazzi flash for it's beautiful flare on this shot!)

Lens Flare II, and also : Jason Flemyng has been in several films I've heard of including Lock Stock, Snatch, Clash of the Titans and a smaller (?) role as Azazel in the X-Men First class film. I assume "azazel" is a character name, not some small flowering plant. Also, yes, I'm aware of the girl on the right in the white dress.

Lens Flare II, and also : Jason Flemyng has been in several films I've heard of including Lock Stock, Snatch, Clash of the Titans and a smaller (?) role as Azazel in the X-Men First class film. I assume "azazel" is a character name, not some small flowering plant. Also, yes, I'm aware of the girl on the right in the white dress.

I don't know who this but (a) she's beautiful and (b) checking the name 'Charlotte Spencer' in wikipedia reveals she was a countess who was born in 1835. (Intriguing....!!)

I don't know who this but (a) she's beautiful and (b) checking the name 'Charlotte Spencer' in wikipedia reveals she was a countess who was born in 1835. (Intriguing....!!)

Me: "..."

Me: "..."

"Sorry, Dexter, but I think you're no longer Photo For The Day". She's right. It's true.

"Sorry, Dexter, but I think you're no longer Photo For The Day". She's right. It's true.

The gentleman in the foreground is Joe Calzaghe, who is a retired Welsh Boxer who, I am reliably informed, was WBO, IBF, WBC, WBA & The Ring Super Middleweight Champion. It is only for this reason...

The gentleman in the foreground is Joe Calzaghe, who is a retired Welsh Boxer who, I am reliably informed, was WBO, IBF, WBC, WBA & The Ring Super Middleweight Champion. It is only for this reason...

.... (and also the fact that I'm a coward)....that I'm not telling him to *get the hell out of the way of my shot* of actress Jaime Winstone, who is actually in this movie

.... (and also the fact that I'm a coward)....that I'm not telling him to *get the hell out of the way of my shot* of actress Jaime Winstone, who is actually in this movie

The guy on the left is Nick Moran, and I've had to do some searching to find out why people were getting him to sign Harry Potter merchandise... apparently he was a Snatcher called "Scabior" in the last two Harry Potter films. (Poor Scabior... with that name, his parents never really gave him a chance..).

The guy on the left is Nick Moran, and I've had to do some searching to find out why people were getting him to sign Harry Potter merchandise... apparently he was a Snatcher called "Scabior" in the last two Harry Potter films. (Poor Scabior... with that name, his parents never really gave him a chance..).

Iwan Rheon plays a character called "Pill" in this movie. That's all I've got - really I'm just providing reassurance that director Dexter Fletcher wasn't just posing with well-dressed Randoms on the red carpet.

Iwan Rheon plays a character called "Pill" in this movie. That's all I've got - really I'm just providing reassurance that director Dexter Fletcher wasn't just posing with well-dressed Randoms on the red carpet.

Why is it that girls always seem to go sigh over cowboys and guys with tattooed words on their fingers, and then end up marrying accountants. Cause I'm, like... none of those things!

Why is it that girls always seem to go sigh over cowboys and guys with tattooed words on their fingers, and then end up marrying accountants. Cause I'm, like... none of those things!

Unlike many in the crowd, I was in the rare position of actually knowing who Rizzle Kicks are! (that's right... Tamar Rizzle and Judo Kicks : together they are : Rizzle Kicks) (fine... I made that up. But "down with the trumpets" is still a cool tune)

Unlike many in the crowd, I was in the rare position of actually knowing who Rizzle Kicks are! (that's right... Tamar Rizzle and Judo Kicks : together they are : Rizzle Kicks) (fine... I made that up. But "down with the trumpets" is still a cool tune)

And, from the world of fashion, here's ..... oh, who am I kidding? I don't know anyone from the world of fashion!

And, from the world of fashion, here's ..... oh, who am I kidding? I don't know anyone from the world of fashion!

By sheer coincidence, I *also* finished playing Mass Effect 3 on the weekend, and this is more or less exactly what I thought about the ending... (HOLD THE LINE AND RETAKE MASS EFFECT, PEOPLE) (Do it for me, even if it's years or decades later and you don't even know what it means)

By sheer coincidence, I *also* finished playing Mass Effect 3 on the weekend, and this is more or less exactly what I thought about the ending... (HOLD THE LINE AND RETAKE MASS EFFECT, PEOPLE)

(Do it for me, even if it's years or decades later and you don't even know what it means)

So obviously it goes into my "Archive of Movie Premieres"

The most recent of which were...

The Hunger Games - Lawrence! Hemsworth x2!
John Carter - Kitsch! Dafoe!
The 2012 BAFTAs - Pitt! Clooney! Streep!
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel - Dench! Patel! Wilkinson!
This Means War - Witherspoon! Pine! Hardy!

Until next time!