9 Jan - The 'Margin Call' 'non-premiere'

It was a mere yesterday that I photographed The Master Himself - Steven Spielberg at the Royal Premiere of 'War Horse'. Still giddy, I decided to head out the following day for a premiere that so little qualified as a premiere that at the time I didn't even create a journal for it. After all, I'd once decided that in order to be a premiere an event would need at least two out of (i) a red carpet (ii) barriers (iii) security (iv) Yellow Cap (or Capless) Guy ... by which definition you didn't even need stars showing up.

And this one didn't qualify. It had none of the four.

Still... here's how (and why) it went down.

I completely forgot why I forgot why I even took this photo. Was the girl in on the right pretty enough? Was the motion blur on her and the guy a contrapoint against the moving taxi on the right? No... turns out it was the superhero patch on the back pocket of the guy leaning against the bollard. Plus I like the word 'bollard'

I completely forgot why I forgot why I even took this photo. Was the girl in on the right pretty enough? Was the motion blur on her and the guy a contrapoint against the moving taxi on the right? No... turns out it was the superhero patch on the back pocket of the guy leaning against the bollard. Plus I like the word 'bollard'

This is what part of Leicester Square looks (looked - I'm writing this in 2014) like at the time. The Olympics are still months away, but I guess London wants to look its prettiest for that. And if that means shabby premieres (or temporary hoardings as backdrops), then damnit... London's got to be pretty in July/August.

This is what part of Leicester Square looks (looked - I'm writing this in 2014) like at the time. The Olympics are still months away, but I guess London wants to look its prettiest for that. And if that means shabby premieres (or temporary hoardings as backdrops), then damnit... London's got to be pretty in July/August.

Is this is a premiere yet? Well, let's see : no carpet, no barriers, no security and no sign of Yellow Cap Guy. But there are Paparazzi and Autograph Dealers, so something, somehow, *somewhen* will be going down. Possibly in relation to this movie "Margin Call" about which I know little other than Kevin Spacey and Zachary Quinto are attached. And that neither are expected. Stellar.

Is this is a premiere yet? Well, let's see : no carpet, no barriers, no security and no sign of Yellow Cap Guy. But there are Paparazzi and Autograph Dealers, so something, somehow, *somewhen* will be going down. Possibly in relation to this movie "Margin Call" about which I know little other than Kevin Spacey and Zachary Quinto are attached. And that neither are expected. Stellar.

So here's what we're reduced to : we're in the small street BEHIND the Vue cinema, facing Chinatown and the Tokyo Diner, waiting for people to get out of cars in the hope that they're famous. It feels uncomfortably unsavoury, really. But this is (possibly) Paul Bettany, who is the voice of Jarvis in Iron Man, and also possibly in this movie.

So here's what we're reduced to : we're in the small street BEHIND the Vue cinema, facing Chinatown and the Tokyo Diner, waiting for people to get out of cars in the hope that they're famous. It feels uncomfortably unsavoury, really. But this is (possibly) Paul Bettany, who is the voice of Jarvis in Iron Man, and also possibly in this movie.

This.. is not a premiere. This is a mugging, but with a sharpie pen and a man's semi-acquiescence. He's in there somewhere, hopefully unharmed.

This.. is not a premiere. This is a mugging, but with a sharpie pen and a man's semi-acquiescence. He's in there somewhere, hopefully unharmed.

"Guys? What if I'm not actually Paul Bettany?" Well... we're all *somebody* , Sir.

"Guys? What if I'm not actually Paul Bettany?" Well... we're all *somebody* , Sir.

Possibly-Paul-Bettany sneaks away, cravat and glasses still in place.

Possibly-Paul-Bettany sneaks away, cravat and glasses still in place.

This isn't so much a star arriving at a premiere as it is a guy walking with his family around a back-street on his way to watch a movie. All of a sudden I'm remembering why I never posted this 'non-Premiere'....

This isn't so much a star arriving at a premiere as it is a guy walking with his family around a back-street on his way to watch a movie. All of a sudden I'm remembering why I never posted this 'non-Premiere'....

These are people. These are humans. These are non-combatants. They are also pedestrians. Oh, and one of them is Jeremy Irons, villain in Die Hard With A Vengeance and the voice of the evil Scar in Disney's The Lion King.

These are people. These are humans. These are non-combatants. They are also pedestrians. Oh, and one of them is Jeremy Irons, villain in Die Hard With A Vengeance and the voice of the evil Scar in Disney's The Lion King.

I choose to believe that because both Paul Bettany (or "Man With Cravat") and now Jeremy Irons (or "Pedestrian") are signing for assembled 'fans', it retrospectively validates their/our behaviour, rendering it somehow both acceptable and perhaps even imbuing it with a certain nobility. (please?)

I choose to believe that because both Paul Bettany (or "Man With Cravat") and now Jeremy Irons (or "Pedestrian") are signing for assembled 'fans', it retrospectively validates their/our behaviour, rendering it somehow both acceptable and perhaps even imbuing it with a certain nobility. (please?)

"Mufasa was a fool. If you've got starving hyenas roaming free on your property and you make no move to feed them, what happens next is pretty obvious". Scar has a point. You gotta be prepared.

"Mufasa was a fool. If you've got starving hyenas roaming free on your property and you make no move to feed them, what happens next is pretty obvious". Scar has a point. You gotta be prepared.

This is where a red carpet would go, if this was the kind of premiere that qualified as a premiere. But it is in fact a side-alley backing onto a building site. I'm sure this is pretty close to what Hollywood is like, and it's just clever angles and composition that makes it look more glamorous than this.

This is where a red carpet would go, if this was the kind of premiere that qualified as a premiere. But it is in fact a side-alley backing onto a building site. I'm sure this is pretty close to what Hollywood is like, and it's just clever angles and composition that makes it look more glamorous than this.

Jeremy Irons is being directed into a secret side-entrance of the Vue Cinema. I didn't even know it had one - and ssssshhhh!!!! please, don't tell anyone about it.

Jeremy Irons is being directed into a secret side-entrance of the Vue Cinema. I didn't even know it had one - and ssssshhhh!!!! please, don't tell anyone about it.

Indoor premiere, indoor posing, indoor paparazzi cordon. This was never meant for The Ordinary Folke like myself. I'm going to go home and rethink my life (Translation : I'm going to go home and make sure my battery is charged for tomorrow's Gala Screening of Steve McQueen's "Shame")

Indoor premiere, indoor posing, indoor paparazzi cordon. This was never meant for The Ordinary Folke like myself. I'm going to go home and rethink my life (Translation : I'm going to go home and make sure my battery is charged for tomorrow's Gala Screening of Steve McQueen's "Shame")

So... it was some kind of thing. Not particularly humorous, not particularly fun, not particularly remarkable... except for the fact that it was kind of a non-event 'event'. I think my main motivation for going to this was photographing Jeremy Irons (who I haven't photographed since, possibly because he's disgusted by me) and also the hope of a second premiere in two days to go with the next two in two days.... I'd just come back from overseas and kind of wanted to get Back Into Things.

And, with much reluctance.. I'm going to put it into the "Archive of Movie Premieres"

Until next time!

And if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo, or on facebook at premieresdotco.