So the deal is : I grew up in Australia. So I've missed whatever vital cultural context is necessary to watch, let alone tolerate (let alone find in anyway amusing) Keith Lemon. Broadly I find the man and the character hateful, and I barely even watch TV. As for why there is a Keith Lemon movie, I can only assume some kind of government tax incentive is at work.
So why go to the premiere, you might ask? Well, like all mountaineers will tell you:
Because it's there.
And yeah, this one was a chore. A noisy, soul-draining chore. But here's how it went down! In black'n'white in order to provide some Class that this movie has no intention of providing:
With apologies to anybody who likes Keith Lemon, and/or possibly IS Keith Lemon, I can't get behind this film. Feel free to pay to watch it or buy it on DVD or Blu-Ray or iTunes. I'd still suggest stealing it off the internet is wrong, too. But I'm outta here and going home and having a long shower so I can feel clean again...
Until next time!! (because you know if there's a Keith Lemon 2 premiere, I'll probably show up anyway!).
Does it join The Archive of Movie Premieres? Sadly and reluctantly, yes!
I'd prefer any of the following premieres over it, though:
Total Recall (2012) - Farrell! Beckinsale! Biel!
The Expendables 2 - Sly! Arnie! JCVD! Statham!
The Dark Knight Rises - Nolan! Bale! Hardy! Freeman! Hathaway! Cotillard! Gordon-Levitt! Murphy!
The Amazing Spider-Man - Garfield! Stone! Ifans!
Prometheus - Ridley! Charlize! Fassbender!