20 Oct - 'The Descendants' premiere

October 20th, 2011.

If it seems like only yesterday that I was photographing the Hollywood A-Lister and Celebrity who Most Closely Approximates the way I look... When I Pretend I live in The Matrix..... . That's because it WAS only yesterday. Well, amazingly, one day later, it's another premiere AGAIN featuring Mr George Clooney.

Here's how it went down:

Seeing George Clooney in Hawaiian floral shorts was scarring enough - the 90 minutes of repeat Hawaiian native ballad/soundtrack was tortuous. (And I've been to a town that hosts the Country Music Awards)

Seeing George Clooney in Hawaiian floral shorts was scarring enough - the 90 minutes of repeat Hawaiian native ballad/soundtrack was tortuous. (And I've been to a town that hosts the Country Music Awards)

"Yes, I know he was Batman in that movie, but I don't think we can just rely on his ability to defend himself and us all if things turn ugly at this thing".

"Yes, I know he was Batman in that movie, but I don't think we can just rely on his ability to defend himself and us all if things turn ugly at this thing".

At first I thought maybe the Anticapitalists at Occupy LSX across town had branched off and/or had moved on to really cryptic and subtly subversive placards, but no. It's just your standard high commerce stuff.

At first I thought maybe the Anticapitalists at Occupy LSX across town had branched off and/or had moved on to really cryptic and subtly subversive placards, but no. It's just your standard high commerce stuff.

In the absence of the stars arriving, or me slitting my wrists to stave off boredom and the effects of that Hawaiian warbling mentioned previously, I was kind of developing a temporary distraction/ obsession over this particular Russian (?) PA. I mean, who takes a photo like that? It's breathtaking!

In the absence of the stars arriving, or me slitting my wrists to stave off boredom and the effects of that Hawaiian warbling mentioned previously, I was kind of developing a temporary distraction/ obsession over this particular Russian (?) PA. I mean, who takes a photo like that? It's breathtaking!

Finally, Red Carpet laid, weird spirally hypnosis spotlights activated, and ... yeah, still with the damn Hawaiian power-jazz. It's bad enough that it's cold enough to totally jar against reality... it's also really, really BAD.

Finally, Red Carpet laid, weird spirally hypnosis spotlights activated, and ... yeah, still with the damn Hawaiian power-jazz. It's bad enough that it's cold enough to totally jar against reality... it's also really, really BAD.

"Okay. My hat will attract Mr Clooney, and then you will ask him if he will marry me. Wait... no. I will ask him and you will wear... no, hat is mine. Either way, he will be mine"

"Okay. My hat will attract Mr Clooney, and then you will ask him if he will marry me. Wait... no. I will ask him and you will wear... no, hat is mine. Either way, he will be mine"

Not having seen the lady with the fur hat and her designs on George Clooney, far too many security persons are facing in the wrong direction to deal with credible threats to Mr Clooney's person.

Not having seen the lady with the fur hat and her designs on George Clooney, far too many security persons are facing in the wrong direction to deal with credible threats to Mr Clooney's person.

It's George Clooney! Again! And this time he's brought his most recent current girlfriend, Stacey Keibler. She really WAS a former professional wrestler! I... erm.... okay? (REALLY?)

It's George Clooney! Again! And this time he's brought his most recent current girlfriend, Stacey Keibler. She really WAS a former professional wrestler! I... erm.... okay? (REALLY?)

Miss Keibler: "And so I told Andre The Giant 'yo, you ain't that big'. True Story" Mr clooney: "Sure, Babes" Miss Keibler : "I'm still smiling, but no longer in a good way. Don't call me 'Babes' "

Miss Keibler: "And so I told Andre The Giant 'yo, you ain't that big'. True Story"
Mr clooney: "Sure, Babes"
Miss Keibler : "I'm still smiling, but no longer in a good way. Don't call me 'Babes' "

It's the female lead - and once again we have a coven of attendant PA's blocking all views other than those officially authorised. (And this is a public event how, exactly?)

It's the female lead - and once again we have a coven of attendant PA's blocking all views other than those officially authorised. (And this is a public event how, exactly?)

I'm kinda loving the backlighting, if i do say so myself.

I'm kinda loving the backlighting, if i do say so myself.

"You wrote a script treatment for Oceans FOURTEEN? I'm... uh...overjoyed?" George Clooney hides the concern.

"You wrote a script treatment for Oceans FOURTEEN? I'm... uh...overjoyed?" George Clooney hides the concern.

Shaileen Woodley plays George Clooney's daughter in the film. Imdb isn't throwing out any roles I'm likely to have seen her in. "The Secret Life of the American Teenager"? "Moola"? "An American Girl Adventure"? "ONCE UPON A MATTRESS"?? Seriously, I'm a sensitive new age guy, but those are things I would NOT watch. "Phineas and Ferb" on the other hand - THAT's a show.

Shaileen Woodley plays George Clooney's daughter in the film. Imdb isn't throwing out any roles I'm likely to have seen her in. "The Secret Life of the American Teenager"? "Moola"? "An American Girl Adventure"? "ONCE UPON A MATTRESS"?? Seriously, I'm a sensitive new age guy, but those are things I would NOT watch. "Phineas and Ferb" on the other hand - THAT's a show.

Shaileen Woodley was born in 1991. Hey, that's the same century I was born in!!

Shaileen Woodley was born in 1991. Hey, that's the same century I was born in!!

Currently in front of the camera is somebody by the name of Jim Burke, and based on the breathtaking facial expressions he created in a two minute period I has assumed he was either the director or the insanely awesome comic relief. He was neither.

Currently in front of the camera is somebody by the name of Jim Burke, and based on the breathtaking facial expressions he created in a two minute period I has assumed he was either the director or the insanely awesome comic relief. He was neither.

Jim Burke patented model look #1. "Lavender Magnum"?

Jim Burke patented model look #1. "Lavender Magnum"?

Jim Burke patented model look #2. "Twirly Steel"?

Jim Burke patented model look #2. "Twirly Steel"?

Jim Burke patented model look #3. "Defiant Waft"? And he's just one of the producers on this film! He is being sorely under-utilised in my opinion...

Jim Burke patented model look #3. "Defiant Waft"? And he's just one of the producers on this film! He is being sorely under-utilised in my opinion...

No, this is not French leader Nikolas Sarkozy taking a break from convincing the world that the Euro is a viable economic zone. It's the director Alexander Payne, who directed Jack Nicholson in "About Schmidt", Paul Giamatti in "Sideways" and Matthew Freaking Broderick in "Election".

No, this is not French leader Nikolas Sarkozy taking a break from convincing the world that the Euro is a viable economic zone. It's the director Alexander Payne, who directed Jack Nicholson in "About Schmidt", Paul Giamatti in "Sideways" and Matthew Freaking Broderick in "Election".

"And so I said 'Yo, Andre- you don't look so Giant to me'. True story". "George, that is SO unlikely"

"And so I said 'Yo, Andre- you don't look so Giant to me'. True story".
"George, that is SO unlikely"

Without posing for the Paps or anything Comedian David Walliams and Supermodel Lara Stone show up. It's absolutely my pose of the day. Even if that's your look for 'happy' I'd accept that on aesthetic grounds.

Without posing for the Paps or anything Comedian David Walliams and Supermodel Lara Stone show up. It's absolutely my pose of the day. Even if that's your look for 'happy' I'd accept that on aesthetic grounds.

Because I photograph so very few comedians and their model girlfiends, here is another photo.

Because I photograph so very few comedians and their model girlfiends, here is another photo.

Grainy, overexposed shadow shot at ISO1600? Yes We Can!!

Grainy, overexposed shadow shot at ISO1600? Yes We Can!!

"Handgun? Taser? Bowie Knife? Ah... Spearmint Gum."

"Handgun? Taser? Bowie Knife? Ah... Spearmint Gum."

"iPhone? Mousetrap? Passport? Ah... cactus plant."

"iPhone? Mousetrap? Passport? Ah... cactus plant."

"THIS isn't my Pizza Roller... where the hell is it??"

"THIS isn't my Pizza Roller... where the hell is it??"

So... another premiere for The Archive of Movie Premieres

Excitingly, London Film Festival continues next week - and at one point there are FIVE premieres in THREE days, which is all kinds of insane.

But you know I love it.

Until next time!

By the way, if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieresdotco.